Sex Advice from People Who Live with Their Parents

By Sarah Schwab

Tara, 26

What’s the best reason to date someone who lives with his or her parents?  
If they like you, there are dinners, free food, and likely a better entertainment system. Some parents don’t even mind if their kid shacks up on the premises, but if they’re more traditional, hey, it just makes the sex spicier. And you can hit up your rent-free significant other to pick up the tab more often. 

I just started dating someone who lives with her parents, but I'd like to put off meeting them for a few weeks. Any tips for how to sneak into the house without getting caught by Mom and Dad?   
Don’t do it! If it’s just a mutually understood, casual thing, then maybe getting caught could be fun, in a primetime teen drama kind of way, so long as you don’t mind getting chased out of the house with a gun or pitchfork. However, if you are really into the girl, and her parents catch you, they’ll immediately mistrust and dislike you. Which is a total relationship cockblock.

I met this really great guy but he lives with his parents. It's kind of a turn-off. What should I do?   
I think you should ask yourself why it’s a turn-off. I can understand alarms going off if he’s in his mid-thirties and his mom still packs his lunch complete with Disney-themed fruit snacks. However, maybe he’s trying to get through school and doesn’t want to accumulate tens of thousands of dollars in student loans. If it's a turn-off because it represents other issues you have with him, look at those.

I’ve been dating this guy for a few months and my parents asked us both over for dinner. One thing: he's old enough to be my father. Should I warn my parents beforehand?   
I would once again point out the unpleasantness of him being chased out with guns or pitchforks, or maybe even a morning-star. Of course you have to warn them! Perhaps embellish how the two of you came to fall so deeply in love against all odds, as a means of dispelling the creepy factor. However, if the relationship isn’t stable, or if he’s married, or you’re underage, I wouldn’t even go there quite yet.  

What’s the best way to tell someone you’re dating that you live with your parents? Whenever it comes up. There’s no need to announce it in the first five minutes of meeting someone, but it shouldn’t be too much of an issue. If it is, it’s not like you’re going to be magically transported into another living situation, so it’s going to come up anyway.  

My boyfriend loves giving oral sex, but it makes me really self-conscious. Are there ways to chill out or should I just forget about it all together?
There’s always getting drunk. But seriously, I used to have hang-ups about that too. One trick I used to use was closing my eyes and picturing myself and my partner as some sexy celebrities, or even fictional characters who turn me on, so I could sort of displace myself for a few minutes, and then once it started feeling really good, the self-consciousness wore off and I could re-engage. But getting drunk is easier. 

The girl I'm seeing is bisexual. She said she could be monogamous with a man, but could never give up women. I really like this girl, and I know it should be a man's dream come true, but don't think I could handle her seeing other women. How can I convince her that cheating is cheating, regardless of gender? 
I’d suggest you ask how she'd feel if you were with a man, but then you might have a devil’s threesome on your hands. And in your mouth. Most guys I know fantasize about lesbian action, even if it involves their girlfriend. If you’ve made it clear that you don’t want that, then monogamy is monogamy, so don’t be a pussy and put your foot down! No pun intended. (Actually, pun completely intended.)