Linking to some guy's rant on a forum doesn't exactly fall under journalistic best practices, but Select Button's "Broco" had me rolling in the aisles with a scathing indictment of IGN's journalistic integrity. Basically, he picked a random review (Rock Band 2) and blotted out all the meaningless cliches and empty verbiage. It's twenty-two paragraphs of tripe, and well, it speaks for itself. Here are the opening two paragraphs:
Harmonix launched music games into a whole new arena with the release of Rock Band last year. No longer did music games have to be about just playing the drums or the guitar or singing. All three elements were merged together into a cohesive and thoroughly enjoyable package. But while Rock Band was a breath of fresh air, it did have some issues. With the release of Rock Band 2 less than a year after the original, Harmonix addresses many of the past concerns and adds an awesome new online mode, certain to keep gamers rockin' for another year.
The biggest addition isn't a new feature or function, but 84 new songs. All master tracks, these 84 songs represent the single greatest collection of songs in a game to date. Headlining the new tracks is the first Guns N' Roses single in more than a decade, "Shackler's Revenge." Along with these are a slew of incredible songs that span the '60s right up to today. AC/DC, Metallica, The Talking Heads, Pearl Jam, Journey, Megadeath, Modest Mouse, Rage Against the Machine, Bon Jovi, Jane's Addiction -- I could keep going, but you get the point. There are some brilliant songs here. And while there are going to be a few tracks each person will not care for, there's far more good here than bad.
Other clunkers include:
It is an epic endeavor for all four band members.
There are those who are really hardcore and want to be tested as they progress through a deep career mode. Then there are those who just want to bring out Rock Band at parties or when friends and family are over. These folks just want to have a good time.
You've already read about the increase in challenge for some of the songs, but let's talk about the new pick-up-and-play aspect. This is not something that should be glossed over, as it makes Rock Band 2 so much more accessible right out of the box.
Rock Band 2 has a few new welcome features, but let's face it -- most folks will go straight to World Tour. They may be a bit disappointed to find World Tour largely unchanged. Though the core functionality is the same, there have been a few important additions and changes to World Tour.
If you just want to play and have fun, there is a "No Fail" option you can switch on.
Where do I even begin?
I'm not even halfway through the review and I just can't do any more.
It's not just the poor writing. Hilary Goldstein misses the point so incredibly hard in his scoring. He spends nearly two dozen paragraphs pointing out the game's flaws and then gives it a 9.0, because it's "an incredible deal". This
confused, rambling, redundant review belies a complete lack of understanding of how games work. Even if Hil had perfect grammar, the tedious review would still be useless. What little information he gives readers could have been easily conveyed in under 100 words. Lord knows I have nothing against
verbose soliloquies on gaming, but that's when they have something to say.
This review was chosen at random, and I'm sure there are hundreds more like it to be found at IGN, so let's not pick on Goldstein alone. We should blame IGN's editors for greenlighting this dreck. Oh wait, he's the editor.
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