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My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2

Posted by Bob Mackey

It's the end of another year, and that can only mean one thing: it's list season. Inevitably, you're going to see top ten lists by the thousands; and, as an official member of the enthusiast press, I'm afraid I can't violate my directive. But, to make things a little more interesting, I've decided to assemble my 10 favorite games of this year in non-hierarchical form because--let's face facts--it's hard to pick a favorite. And unlike other top 10 lists, this one will be doled out to you in piecemeal over the next several excruciating days! Please enjoy.



Since I jumped on the current-gen bandwagon so late, the modern twin-stick shooter was an unfamiliar concept to me. I'd played a few of the old-school predecessors like Robotron and Smash TV, but, before picking up a 360, I didn't really understand how such limited gameplay could possibly hold my attention in our futuristic age of bells and whistles.  Obviously, I hadn't yet experienced any of the Geometry Wars games at that point in time--otherwise, I would have been aware of my complete and utter wrongness.  Geometry Wars 2's lack of superficial complexity is almost a necessity--with its insanely twitchy, adrenaline-pumping close calls, I don't think my brain could have handled much more than move, shoot, and bomb.  And in applying these few concepts to six completely different game modes, developer Bizarre Creations makes developing stratgies a requirement for success--kind of unexpected from a game that, at first glance, looks like a screen saver gone horribly wrong.

My best memories of Geometry Wars 2 involve how it fostered in me a hatred for my fellow man.  Displaying your friends' top ten scores before you start any game mode was an evil stroke of Genius on Bizarre Creations' part; never before in my life had I felt such a strong desire to destroy people I didn't even know.  Every time my dinky little score would move its way up the chart, I would feel a sense of accomplishment that didn't even come when I graduated from college.  And yet, there were constant reminders of my inferiority by those jerks (who I assume were cheating) that had scores I could never reach in my wildest dreams.  It's true that I haven't picked up the game in a few months, but that's only because I've been training in secret.  One day, history books will speak of my amazing score in Waves.  Or not.

Related Links

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My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Braid
My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Grand Theft Auto IV
My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Fable 2
My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Persona 3: FES


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About Bob Mackey

For a brief period of time I was Bull from TV's Night Court, but some of you may know me from the humor column I wrote for Youngstown State University's The Jambar, Kent State University's The Stater, and Youngstown's alternative newspaper, The Walruss. I'm perhaps most well-known for my bi-weekly pieces on Something Awful. I've also blogged for Valley24.com and have written articles for EGM, 1UP, GameSpite and Cracked. For all of my writing over the years, I have made a total of twenty American dollars. It's also said that I draw cartoons, which people have described with words such as "legible." I kidnapped the Lindbergh Baby and am looking to do so again in the future.

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    John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

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    Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

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