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Facepalm: GameDaily Talks to Porn Stars...Again

Posted by Cole Stryker

 

Sigh.

What kind of video game character would you be?

I'd be one of the whores getting screwed in Grand Theft Auto.

Let's say you designed a sex game. What would the most important features be?

Sexual super powers. Like your balls get bigger. If they get smaller then you have to go re-up. You'd have to come up with other things to gain experience like get spanked or walk on nails.

What kind of video game character would you be?

Super, super slutty. I'd be a hot little game girl, and I'd hit people with my boobs. They're big.

Do you think the king in Katamari Damacy is hot?

I think that he has a bulge that's a little disturbing, but I'd ride his royal rainbow.

Who's the sexiest game character?

I don't know. I'll just say the Princess in Super Mario World.

It's moments like this that I cheer layoffs in the press. There's nothing more depressing than watching these hyper-sexualized women pander to the mouth-breathing gaming press. As long as features like these exist, our economy could do worse. Bring on the recession.

Related Links:

Facepalm: Games Radar - Paragons of Journalistic Integrity
Facepalm: 360 vs PS3 Boob Physics Comparison
Facepalm: Crispy Gamer

Comments

John said:

It was very convenient of them to divide this short article into 9 pages so I could load 9 times the number of ads.

January 14, 2009 3:36 PM

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    John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

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    Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

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    Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

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