
In part 1, I listed a few game moments that furrowed my brow and set my teeth on edge, but we really don't see the old temper flare up until we hit the second half. Look away oh faint of heart and sound proof the walls. Now I start yelling.
Rage + 6. Final Fantasy 9 and, wait, what do I have to do? - I don't know what to say here, other than to point out that the side quests for getting the best stuff in the game hit Random in Final Fantasy 8 and sped right past Retarded in Final Fantasy 9. I looked at a FAQ once to see what was hidden in the game and the tasks were so tedious, nonsensical and stupid that I didn't even want to try. Screw you Square.
Here are some of the fun things you can't get unless you're a masochist.
Rage + 7. Jak 3 flipping over the dune buggies – Apparently, even the biggest buggies are made of super light-weight tinfoil and will roll over three dozen times at the slightest provocation.
Of course, this guy seems to be a better driver than I am.
Rage + 8. Mario Kart Wii Blue Shell and Lightning Cloud – and well, about every other item in the game. I don't really hate MK Wii and its occasionally overbearing items, but few things make me cuss like a drunken sailor more than a bad day at the races.
Sometimes I just have to walk away.
Rage + 9. Final Fantasy 10 Lightning Dodging – What a mind numbingly stupid challenge. It's not hard, it's just not remotely fun, and getting hit by a bolt after dodging it 194 times could lead to violence done to innocent electronics.
I'd rather chew glass. Oh wait, that'll be a mini-game challenge in the next Final Fantasy!
Rage + 10. Final Fantasy 10 Chocobo Race – Whoever is responsible for this bullshit should be covered in honey and staked to a fire ant hill. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his armpits. Hate, is not a strong enough word for how I feel about this mini-game. Final Fantasy 10 force fed some of the most heinous mini games down the throats of any gamer who wanted to get the ultimate weapons and by far the worst was the Chocobo Race where you rode a bird that steered like a semi truck missing a few wheels in an attempt to hit balloons with microscopic hit detection boxes while dodging high speed homing missiles in the shape of seagulls. Sheer, unadulterated, inexcusable pain has been wrought here.
Ultimate Rage Inducing.
Related Links:
Things that Make Me Swear Profusely: A Top 10 List - part 1
Top 5 Reasons Why 2009 Will Bring the End of Lists
What Games Actually Appeal to Casual Gamers