61 Frames Per Second

WTFriday: Won't You Be My Gamer?

Posted by Derrick Sanskrit

I watched a lot of children's television when I was younger (this morning counts as younger, right?). Sesame Street was essential, Lamb Chop was interesting, David the Gnome was enaging, even Barney was fun in an ironic manner years ahead of becoming a jaded teenager, but Mister Roger's Neighborhood never quite felt right to me. Fred Rogers himself was like a warm grandfather figure who never had anything better to do than play make believe and aks whoever he came across pedantic questions about their immediate surroundings and actions. Even as a child I found this unsettling.

Had I seen this clip as a child, though, I would have at least had an exact moment to pinpoint "that's what creeped me out about him." Fred Rogers visits the arcade in the back of a restaurant of some sort and proceeds to ask a young boy about Donkey Kong. The whole thing sounds like an exchange with the elderly pedophile on Family Guy:

See that? The way he hunches over the boy, getting close enough to breathe on him? The way he asks the kid the object of the game in a soft tone and proceeds to ask what other games the kid plays (hopscotch?)? The way he oh-so-naturally puts his arm around the kid as they step aside? The way he asks "is that fun for you to play something like that?" This is a portrait of exactly who your teachers and parents told you not to talk to if you didn't want to be abducted and raped. How fitting that they're talking about Donkey Kong, a game with an implied degree of abduction with intent to deflower.

Also, it's kinda creepy when that other guy is like "I'm here to collect the money" right in front of them, and then he pops the board open to show them the switches. And the kid says "Down is not really used in this game"! Has he never made it past the first level?

Gah, watching this clip just feels so wrong. I want to be very, very far away from all of these people.

Previously on WTFriday:
Don't S*** Your Pants Teaches Valuable Life Lessons
Gamestop's Guide to Women
A Sad Dog's Rush Cosplay

+ DIGG

+ DEL.ICIO.US

+ REDDIT

Posted Mar 13 2009, 05:00 PM

Filed under: derrick sanskrit, donkey kong, television, wtfriday, mister rogers neighborhood

Comments

Scott Z said:

Number 1, fuck the hell out of you. Mister Rogers taught values and morals that are desperately needed in this day and age. He had a genuine desire to want to help and teach kids that is very rare to find these days. You might think he's creepy now, but it was more of a childlike innocence that is rarely found now. He freaking pioneered educational programming for children and generations of children with wild imaginations are indebted to him for that.

Number 2, I'm sorry I got so angry up there. I hope we can make up. I just really like Mister Rogers.

Number 3. I can't remember what I was going to say here. Possibly something dong-related, but I can't tell anymore.

March 13, 2009 5:51 PM

Joe said:

Was that Keith David? I was waiting for him to suggest that if Mr. Rogers and Brandon liked Donkey Kong so much, they would find the Navy even more exciting.

March 14, 2009 9:47 PM

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.