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Respect the Pokeymans

Posted by Nadia Oxford

Confession: Pokemon frightens me. It's nothing to do with the dead eyes of Jinx or Psyduck, either (okay, maybe a little). The truth is, Pokemon is intimidating. It's a sprawling franchise that sucks you in waist-deep after two steps.

A skeptic who spares naught but a quick glance at Pokemon sees a bunch of cash-in kids' games that merely scotch tapes a few new Muppets to its roster with each new installment. So untrue. Oh, so untrue.

I was a self-proclaimed Pokemon Master through 1998-1999. No ten-year-old had a chance against my Nidoking, “AAAAAA” (“I choose you! AAAAAA!”). No job supervisor could tear me away from my heated matches for dominance—because I knew all the best places to hide.

I ran out of slacker friends to play Pokemon with, and I took a long sabbatical. A friend of mine bought me a copy of Pokemon Pearl, and I decided it was time to whup preschoolers again.

I quickly came to realise that the audience for Pokemon has grown up—and not all its fanbase dropped away as the franchise aged. Nintendo is well aware that there is a well-seasoned adult fanbase that is far beyond coddling Pikachu and drinking punch with Charmander in the shade of a big tree. They want numbers. They want stats. They want evolution and the abortion of said evolution. They want berries and balance and Ghost-types versus Normal-types and legendary dragon Pokemon that look unsettlingly like giant centipedes.

I thought I was all set in the world of Pokemon Pearl merely because I raised a Gyrados from a Magikarp. Soon, I was dragging “Super Joe” back to a PokeCenter on the end of a frayed rope leash. He smelled like a fish washed up on a beachside highway.

I mean, I imagine that's what he smelled like.

The haters are off their rockers: Pokemon isn't a kiddy sell-out franchise. It's a deep piece of work that requires equal parts skill, luck and memorisation. Granted, Pokemon doesn't punish you if you decide to strong-arm your way up to and through the Elite Four, but when I opt out of the fashion shows, I can feel my Bidoof burning a hole in the back of my head with his glare.

His pretty, long-lashed glare.

Related Links:

Gaming: A Throwaway Hobby
To Be a Pokemon Master
Summon Baphomet With Pokemon

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Posted Mar 24 2009, 11:05 PM

Filed under: nintendo, nintendo ds, game boy, pokemon, nadia oxford, pikachu

Comments

Roto13 said:

I wish Pokemon would mix things up a bit, though. Does every game have to follow the same series of events?

Meet Professor Tree > Get Fire/Water/Grass Pokemon and a pokedex > Beat 8 gym leaders > Kick Team Whatever's asses > Smack your rival around a bit > Catch some legendaries > Beat the Elite 4 and the champion > Maybe catch some more legendaries if you're not bored

Seriously? Every single time?

That said, I MIGHT get Platinum just so I can start over without losing my ever-valuable legendaries. >_>

March 24, 2009 11:41 PM

LBD "Nytetrayn" said:

Roto> You're supposed to be able to import your characters from Diamond/Pearl, so that seems possible.

March 25, 2009 1:15 AM

Roto13 said:

I haven't heard anything about importing, but standard trading should be fine. :P

March 25, 2009 1:55 AM

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.