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God Help Me, I Am Looking Forward to Banjo-Kazooie XBLA

Back in the Summer of 1998, my friend lent me his N64 when he left for a week-long Florida vacation--I didn't end up getting the system for myself until the combination of bargain-basement prices and Paper Mario forced my hand three years later. With my judgmental friend out of sight, I took this as a prime opportunity to rent some N64 games that were skewed for a demographic much younger than the average, mumbling 16 year-old male. My first stop was Yoshi's Story, a game I was excited to play after the world-changing Yoshi's Island. As with many other gamers out there, I gathered I was being punished for some great evil I had done.

An equally unexpected happening happened when I disposed of Yoshi's Story in a local fire and picked up Rare's then-new Banjo-Kazooie. Unexpectedly, I loved the game; and even though I'm much smarter and have a solid 8 years of Rare grudge resting on my shoulders, I can't help but anticipate the release of BK on XBox Live Arcade in a few weeks. See if this trailer will fill you in on my mental state:

Let's get some things out of the way: all of these characters are absolutely insipid.

Posted Nov 18 2008, 11:30 AM by Bob Mackey with | with 3 comment(s)

Filed under: banjo kazooie 3, rare, bob mackey, xbox live arcade, banjo kazooie, banjo tooie, donkey kong 64

The Banjo Kazooie Text Debacle Part 3: Text Hard With a Vengeance

At the end of last month, I was more than a little miffed about Rare's use of super-tiny text in Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts. A few days later, the story caught on--in no way caused by me alone--and Rare was forced to reply: "No dice." As much as I don't like to report on the same issue thrice, something miraculous has happened: Rare has decided to fix the problem. A quote from this post on the official Banjo-Kazooie blog reveals their unexpected change of heart:

It has come to our attention that people are experiencing subtitle readability issues with Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts on Standard Definition TVs. We would like to assure you that contrary to earlier reports, we are aware of the issue and currently working on a title update to be released within the next 30 days that will fix it for those with Standard Definition TVs. We’re committed to ensuring all fans of the franchise are able to have the best experience possible with Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts.

It sure is nice to see legitimate Internet complaining pay off; and while I'm not necessarily interested in buying Nuts and Bolts, I really don't want to see another precedent set for screwing over SDTV owners. Listen, guys: my goal is to be economically comfortable enough to buy an HDTV by the next generation of consoles. So please avoid making all of us SDTV owners sad until then. Thanks in advance.

Posted Nov 10 2008, 11:00 AM by Bob Mackey with | with 2 comment(s)

Filed under: rare, xbox 360, bob mackey, hdtv, banjo kazooie, sdtv

Rare to SDTV Owners: "F--- You."

A while back, I reported on the general illegibility of the text in the Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts demo for SDTV owners. Well, it looks like the rest of the world has caught on, because Rare has finally been forced to give an answer. Joystiq reports:

Rare has confirmed that Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts' unclear text on standard definition televisions will not be fixed. The issue came to light following the release of the demo last week and now Rare states that the issue is "too expensive in terms of time, resources and money to alter."

The news story also adds that Microsoft requires developers of XBox Live games to make their text readable on 14" SDTVs. So why the double standard? From playing the BK demo, I can tell you that the text is far from superfluous; it's completely necessary to read in order to know just what the hell to do in any given situation--and it's not like there's actual spoken dialogue to fall back on if the text is unreadable on your set. This brings me to another question: why, in a game ostensibly made for kids, would you make it necessary to read tons of tiny dialogue? There seem to be some fundamental flaws at work, here.

Posted Nov 06 2008, 11:00 AM by Bob Mackey with | with 14 comment(s)

Filed under: banjo kazooie 3, rare, xbox 360, bob mackey, hdtv, banjo kazooie, sdtv

Gears of LittleBig Fable Music: Considering the First-Party Blitz

October brought its true fury and grandeur to New York today. It took three days, but the nattering leftovers of summer finally drifted out to sea like so many dead leaves and left behind the lowlight and intent wind so particular to the month. Walking down the street, I could smell it, looming like bonfire smoke and Halloween parades: game season.

I hold no love for the business structure that sees some ninety-percent of the year’s most ballyhooed games releasing all within a tight ten week window. It leads to sensory overload and, for the devoted gamer, it adds to already-big backlogs. But I’d be lying if I said it isn’t always exciting. All of the hype, all of the previews, leaked screens, developer showcases, and high, high hopes all lead here and it always begins in October. Holiday 2008, as it were, is going to be a particularly interesting season considering that it is gaming’s first to witness true third-party agnosticism. Nigh on every publisher from East and West is releasing their biggest games on any and all platforms available. (There are rare exceptions. See Sega’s Valkyria Chronicles, Valve’s Left4Dead, and a number of Wii titles.) This brings even closer scrutiny to the console holders' offerings; more than ever, first-party games need to be system sellers. They have to act as ambassadors, convincing casual and hardcore gamers alike that if they put money into such and such a system, there will be more where that came from.

Posted Oct 03 2008, 05:30 PM by John Constantine with | with no comments

Filed under: john constantine, little big planet, playstation 3, motorstorm, resistance, nintendo, microsoft, xbox 360, wii, sony, gran turismo, gears of war, animal crossing, halo, fable, wii music, lips, banjo kazooie, ridge racer

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.