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Whatcha Playing: FusionFall

Yeah, uh, I'm only playing this for work-related purposes.

I...I...

I'm still cool.

Actually, FusionFall has received a lot of hype, and there's quite a bit of charm to it. Worried parents wonder if Cartoon Network's MMORPG is merely another name for Billy's Gateway World of Warcraft Addiction, but there are some interesting speed bumps that are in place to keep kids from descending down the vortex in its entirety. Levelling up occurs through the completion of missions, not hours of grinding, and your rewards actually lessen if you log several consecutive hours of gameplay.

These restrictions serve well as wake-ups for enraptured children who will hopefully realise that it's a good idea to go outside and play once the cow has been milked dry. It's probably not foolproof, though. Who wants to stop when they're with their friends, giving evil what for? It's still up to the parents to pull the game when their kids' eyes start turning into squares. Pity the poor hand-wringing adults: the thought of having to administer some means of discipline on their children will send many of them scrambling for their stationary so they can re-direct their energies into writing a blame piece for Scare Weekly.

It's too bad, because I believe FusionFall might serve well as an introduction to MMORPGs.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.