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Things You Should Watch: Gaming Guyz

Nadia's Friday post about Shmorky's (of Something Awful fame) Punch-Out comic made me think of something that's also a Shmorky/video game crossover of epic proportions: Gaming Guyz. Just as his Furious Famicom Faggot series skewered the Angry Nintendo Nerd and the millions of ripoffs who think that lousy games and profanity-based analogies are the peanut butter and chocolate of YouTube, Gaming Guyz has a satirical target that's gaming related, but a bit broader: you. Well, not you, per se; the fact that the comments sections of most 61FPS posts don't make me want to end my life says a lot about the intelligence of our audience. But even though this blog is refreshingly troll-free, Gaming Guyz hosts Andy and Paulo are a chilling reminder of how gaming culture can transform us into emotionally unstable idiots with a strange attachment to Sonic the Hedgehog.

Watch The Last Express Like a Cartoon

The cult-classic rotoscoped The Last Express has been uploaded to Vimeo, and now you can watch all the cutscenes in the form of several video clips, the collection of which runs about 75 minutes.

The Last Express was one of the most expensive games of its day. It's a classic murder mystery set in the golden age of rail travel on the inimitable Orient Express. With 44,000 hand-drawn frames of animation, and countless hours required to play out each scene with real actors, it is worth watching a few clips just to see what kind of effort was poured into this game. Tragically, The Last Express is one of gaming history's greatest flops. Due to corporate restructuring, the developer's marketing department was unable to promote the game, and it was only on retail shelves for a few weeks. Sadly, the was out of print within a year.

Here's Part 1:

Totally Bogus!: Club Mario

The '90s get my personal vote for the most embarrassing start to a decade. Sure, it eventually grew into its body and delivered some of the best times North America had before 9/11 flicked the lights on and told us to put our war clothes on. But for a couple of years after it succeeded the '80s, the '90s wouldn't stop wearing backwards baseball caps and shoving neon colours and bland computer graphics in our faces.

When people think of the Super Mario Bros Super Show, they think of ex-wrestler Captain Lou Albano dressed in red overalls, performing crazy antics that ushered in bad cartoons about Mario and Luigi. The live action and cartoon portions of the Super Show weren't equal, however; after a season, there were still unaired animated segments, but no more Lou to bookend them. Enter the first leg of the '90s and “Club Mario,” a grand experiment in sharp-angled studio sets painted in offending shades of yellow and pink.

Club Mario filled the indentation left behind by Captain Lou. It contained everything I'll eventually have to answer to my children for: two totally rad hosts, jokes that have aged like an open can of dog food, a G-rated Heavy Metal princess, and the words “totally awesome computer graphics display.”

Club Mario evaded YouTube for a long time, but I suppose the Internet will eventually tell of a sick generation, much like bad breeding will eventually hobble a horse. Clips follow the jump, but pull back if you suddenly start talking like Screech. That's the first stage of '90s poisoning.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.