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Grand Theft Auto IV's Post-Game Purgatory

Grand Theft Auto IV is a game completely dependent on--and some would say subservient to--its story and characters. Sure, other games in the series have their share of colorful cast members and interesting twists, but IV decided to scale back on the gameplay a bit in exchange for hours upon hours of babysitting Niko Bellic's friends. It was novel at first, but soon became disappointing after the realization that the limited content of these artificial social interactions replaced the endless playground fun of GTAs past.

So what happens when the oh-so important characters of GTAIV run out of recorded lines of dialogue? The answer is about as unsettling as anything else in the bleak life of Nico Bellic.

The End Has No End

I recently played through Ratchet & Clank: Tools of Destruction and, while I had a long list of problems with the game, the conclusion cinema was certainly a troublesome concern. More than anything else, the massively disappointing finale made me realize how intensely narrative-driven the game was, even more than the New York Times' claim that the game was an interactive Pixar movie (which, for the record, it totally is not). Ever since games first became produced on discs rather than cartridges the focus on cinema-centric storytelling has been undeniable, most notably with early Playstation games like Final Fantasy VII and Metal Gear Solid.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.