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  • Columbine Revisited: It Was Never About the Games

    Ten years after the Columbine shootings, violent video games have been cleared of blame for the massacre. All things considered, it's hardly an event worth breaking out the champagne for.

    At the same time, even though I don't feel smug or vindicated in the least, I'm baffled that anyone would believe that two kids driven to such astronomical levels of violence would be inspired by the silly spurts and canned screams of video games. An article by USA Today revealed the twisted motivations of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, finally cobbled together through years of studying diary entries, emails, and witness testimonies. Harris and Klebold had initially planned to blow up Columbine High School—and the man they were imitating in reverence was Tim McVeigh, not Bomberman.

    Society has long been wary of video games and the dashing ladies and gentlemen who play them, but the Columbine incident truly demonised the pastime thanks to seemingly fabricated reports that Harris and Klebold loved Doom. I remember reading that and thinking, all the way back in 1999, “Who plays Doom anymore?” Doom is fun and fully deserves its accolades, but it still makes me dizzy to even think that an ancient computer game could be blamed for such a tragic act of violence. Not because I'm worried about what strangers think about my favourite hobby, but because I am a sensible, sane person like 99.7% of gamers out there.

    People who become depressed or angry enough to kill fellow human beings are thinking in a twisted, hellish realm that's thankfully closed off to most of us. Though outside factors—any outside factor—can trigger a final, deadly explosion, the problem lies with the damaged machinery itself.

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  • My First Banned Game: Double Dragon

    Screw Attack has a video retrospective on Battletoads & Double Dragon for the Super Nintendo. It's good for a quick nostalgia fix, and it contains 200% of the daily recommended intake of fart and tit jokes in case you haven't been meeting your quota lately (that happens in the winter).

    I never played Battletoads & Double Dragon. Watching the video reminded me of the reason why: my taste in games was slightly above that of a blind burrowing animal who sleeps in its own excrement. Seriously though, I never played Battletoads & Double Dragon because Double Dragon was the first verboten series in my house. My mother took note of what I was playing long before the Mortal Kombat scare, and she didn't approve of games that let you grab women by the hair and knee them in the face. I guess.

    It's not to say I grew up in an ultra-Puritan house where the only permitted video games came in telltale baby-blue cartridges, or were games about barn raising. I was allowed to play most anything, and my mom even played a bit, even if she could never get past the first boss in any given Castlevania game (but damned if she didn't try over and over). But after bringing home Double Dragon for the NES, she noted that Billy and Jimmy Lee could vent their masculine frustrations on thug women, and she deemed that uncool.

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  • Editors, Where Are Your Manners?

    Not long ago, I ruffled my feathers over the Internet's collective, though inevitable, lack of manners. Just yesterday, I posted some rambling thing about how the ESRB is largely irrelevant, mostly through no fault of its own. Today, I'm combining the two subjects! You lucky people!

    I'm a bit late to the fury party, but it seems that GameTrailers is upset at the ESRB because the organisation made them yank an exclusive Fallout 3 trailer. The ESRB, which does have a say in game advertisements for television, deemed the trailer too violent and ordered it taken down.



    (Of course, you can see it on YouTube thanks to special Internet magic.)

    Some people, myself included, think the ESRB has overstepped its boundaries. The trailer was meant for GameTrailers, not television. GameTrailers has every reason to be upset, and they don't even have to be wholly polite about their displeasure. But it would have been really boss if GameTrailers' editors had consulted someone aside from their thirteen-year-old nephews for their angry words.

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  • How Much Simpler Do ESRB Ratings Need To Get?

    At some point when I wasn't paying attention, the Internet began to boil about something the pre-presidential version of Barack Obama said about video games and violence. To paraphrase, he wants ESRB ratings to be clearer and explain more thoroughly what kind of content a concerned parent might find in Kill 'Em All IV.

    Admirable, but what's the point of novel-length content labels if parents refuse to bother getting past the letters?

    I'm generally patient with the human race, but damn if we sure don't like putting ourselves out. The typical adult defence against change is to whine, "I don't waaaaant to!" like a three-year-old. When change inevitably happens and new methods are applied to old systems, human survival instinct automatically kicks us into the proper response, which is to sit down hard on the floor and cry "I don't get it, it's too haaaard", followed by rubbing grimy fists into tear-stained eyes. This might account for why so many parents have simply chosen to ignore the ESRB: games aren't rated with the MPAA's safe and familiar alphabet. That, or a lot of parents are simply bone lazy.

    It's not to say the ESRB's system is failsafe (Rating a game "E10+" and merely citing "Suggestive Themes" is about as useful as citing it for "Peanut Butter Monkey Pants"), but the MPAA's system doesn't offer a thousand lines of detail, either. Nevertheless, movies seem to get in a lot less trouble than games. When some fish-eyed parent goes on television to scream (in between smoker's hacks) about the violence her five-year-old was exposed to in an R-rated movie, the world usually says in a collective voice, "Duh, the movie is rated R." The problem falls off the news as soon as someone takes footage of a monkey riding a dog like a horse.

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  • Miyamoto Is Concerned About Excessive Violence in Games

     Are you?

    Miyamoto stated that he's troubled by developers' tendency to rely on excessive violence to attract gamers.

    "I don't want to curb freedom of expression, but I am concerned many developers focus on excessive violence in order to stimulate people's minds.

    "I believe that here are more ways of grabbing players' attention than violence alone."



    On one hand, Miyamoto is absolutely right; a game doesn't need to be excessively violent in order to garner interest. On the other hand, just as family-oriented games like Animal Crossing and Super Mario Whatever are for everyone and not just sissies and little girls, "violent" games are not the wretched product of a diseased society. There is nothing wrong with an adult enjoying a Grand Theft Auto game; humans are an aggressive species. It's a bit unfortunate, but natural--and far better to stick to outlets that don't harm others.

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  • about the blogger

    John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

    Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

    Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

    Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

    Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

    Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

    Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

    Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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