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Study: Gamers Will Probably Die in a Fire

I do so like news stories that show game technology being used in innovative non-game ways. There is that whole part of the industry that works constantly to make simulation cheap and believable, so it is nice when somebody uses that tech to do something a bit more important than hiding behind a bus and shooting at a space monster.

In this case, university researchers built a Source engine mod that teaches people about fire safety. Two important lessons were learned from this study:

1. Fire Safety (for some test subjects)

2. Don’t use gamers for your serious game engine-based study (for the researchers)

See, non-gamers will treat your serious Source engine experiment as a serious Source engine experiment. But gamers will treat it like, well, a videogame, which apparently means they happily run into fires. I do not know what videogame they learned this in, but my go-to guess for idiotic situations like this is Postal.

Whatcha Playing?: Left 4 Dead

I finally got around to playing Left 4 Dead this weekend, a game that my 61FPS colleagues and I have largely slept on during the holiday rush. I'm pleased to report that I found the cooperation-focused shooter to be one of the most clever games I've played in a while, and the most important FPS since Valve's last game.

Half-Life 2: A Dystopian Comedy

I enjoy watching first-person shooters get played more than I actually enjoy playing them. I like to think I'm a good back-seat soldier. If I'm watching you play an FPS and you fail to notice the ten-legged spider chewing your face off, you can count on me to scream and scream until you either shake it off or you're dead.

Half-Life 2 is a game I've long enjoyed watching others play, but only recently decided to tackle for myself. Even though it's my first solo playthrough, the game is mostly old hat. I'm already familiar with the characters, I'm familiar with the scenario, and I'm familiar with the game's classic opening: the grim squeal of the train wheels as they come to rest in the grey hell that is City 17, the whirlwind of trash and papers, the desperate portrait of a dying race, the ensuing hilarity--

Wait, what?

Concerned by Christopher Livingston is a rare instance of a gaming comic that runs with a successful, original plot. Its story intertwines hilariously with the brooding events in Half-Life 2, sparing us yet another Penny Arcade rip-off featuring two couch-surfing gamers discussing the merits of Cheetos dust to absorb hand-sweat from controllers. Also, Livingston (mostly) used in-game models for Concerned's artwork, but the work he put into positioning and modifying said models goes way beyond typical sprite hacks.

Finally, Concerned plots its story, tells it, and ends while it was still funny. No encores, no drawn-out jokes about cake and Companion Cubes.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.