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  • Happy Endings With House of the Dead: Overkill



    Happy Endings is a new, semi-regular feature on 61FPS that highlights some of gaming’s most memorable climaxes. Most games end badly. These games sum it all up in style. It goes without saying that Happy Endings is spoiler heavy so beware before you proceed.

    House of the Dead: Overkill could have been an astounding failure. Headstrong Games had a decent pedigree, and there was little doubt that they could make a solid, entertaining rail shooter that stood next to the very best in Sega’s franchise, but humor is hard to implement in any game. Styling Overkill as a 1970s grindhouse feature was a brilliant move in theory, but making something that looks and sounds cool is a far cry from making something smart and legitimately funny. Headstrong pulled it off though. From the guffaw-worthy banter between Detective Washington and Agent G, to the waving American flag that adorns your health bar after stringing together thirty consecutive kills (yes, that combo is called a “Goregasm”), Overkill pulled off the impossible: it was a good game that was also funny.

    But none of its cheese, ultra violence, or winking nods to classic exploitation prepared me for this dialog at the end.

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  • Ode to the Light Gun or The Only Peripheral You’ll Ever Need



    Peripherals are bothersome. A controller is fine; it’s compact and, with the ubiquity of reliable, long-lasting wireless technology, they’ve become easy to store and maintain. These days, controllers just aren’t enough for developers. Every game has to have its own little thing. Oh, I need plastic guitars and drums to play this? A little plastic wheel to act like I’m steering? A massive twenty-four button console array meant to simulate the cockpit of a gigantic walking tank?! Well, la-di-da, Mr. Game Developer! I don’t live in some kind of mansion, I’ve already spent all my money on your products. I don’t have room to store a billion and one plastic devices used for only a single game.

    Like every gamer born before 1990, though, there’s one peripheral my gaming home needs: the light gun. Nintendo may be the young family’s best friend these days, providing safe, accessible entertainment for all, but back in 1985, their consoles came with fake firearms. Those of us who grew up in the US and Europe got a grey Laser Tag knock off that was clearly — a toy later re-colored neon orange and grey to appear even more like a toy — but look at the original sumbitch Gunpei Yokoi designed for the system.

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  • On Sega and the Proper Use of the Wii in 2009

    Every year around this time, I do my annual budgeting for the next year. It consists of these three steps:

    1. Look at the release list for the next few months
    2. Cry
    3. Order a year’s worth of bulk ramen

    Historically, the release of the Nintendo spring schedule alone doesn’t get me to step two. This year it has, but it’s not my fault—the only totally unjustifiable thing I will probably haul out of a store in the spring is Coraline, which will go directly into the “stupid things I’ve bought because of an unhealthy and often inexplicable love of Neil Gaiman” pile.

    No, it’s Sega’s fault. Look at the entirety of the publisher’s Nintendo lineup: a new House of the Dead game. MadWorld, the latest post-modern brawler from the creators of the last, and only, post-modern brawler, God Hand. And a…Sonic game. But those are usually slightly better on Wii!

    This got me looking at Sega’s Wii lineups both new and old, which taken together paint a picture of a publisher that is throwing full support behind the Wii while not falling into the pit of making endless cheap-o party games. In fact, Sega’s Wii games cater almost exclusively to the core. There’s the upcoming first-person shooter The Conduit, as just one example. Looking back, the company has put out, amazingly, new Nights and Samba De Amigo games. And Sega’s cheap-o output has largely been ports of super cheesy arcade games like House of the Dead, Ghost Squad, and Sega Bass Fishing, games old timers like me greatly appreciate. The only casual minigame collection in there is Let’s Tap, and that’s a game where the controller is also the box it comes in. Not all of these games were successful at what they intended to do, but all the same, this is not typical use of the console!

    So congratulations Sega, you’ve learned something that it took other companies till this week to figure out: that the Wii is big business, a lot of people have them, and maybe some exciting, top-tier content on it would be good. Extra bonus points should be giving for picking up the ball Nintendo dropped and actually focusing the brunt of the effort on longtime fans.

    A couple other choice picks from the Nintendo release list after the break.

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  • You’re Doing Great, Sega: Space Harrier Returns



    Space Harrier, unlike a lot of Sega’s other arcade games in the mid-80s, was a little light on challenging play. Your little blonde dude and his huge gun flew across the seemingly endless surface of The Fantasy Zone, shooting all kinds of dragons and cycloptic wooly mammoths, but it never quite felt like anything you did had a physical impact on the world. Things exploded when you shot near them but it didn’t ever feel like you were actually causing it to happen. But Yu Suzuki’s debut game stands out in history because it was, and is, staggeringly beautiful. Its scaling sprite graphics were an important landmark on the road to making lush three-dimensional – not true 3D mind you, but close – game worlds. Harrier’s Fantasy Zone is as bizarre and unique a visual space as anything else that came out of Sega (arguably even stranger and more fully realized than Opa Opa’s Fantasy Zone.) It also had some of the most hilarious voiceovers in a game. One of my earliest gaming memories is of a Space Harrier machine repeatedly yelling, “You’re doing great!” in the corner of a Pizza-Hut. It made me laugh so hard, Pepsi came out my nose, and everyone knows that the true test of comedy is whether or not it can make you leak fluid.

    It’s strange then, considering Sega’s recent penchant for resurrecting their iconic franchises, that Space Harrier has remained untouched for twenty years. The only sign of the series since 1988 was Sega’s arcade shooter Planet Harrier in 2001, an obvious spiritual successor but still not a proper Space Harrier 3. If Tez Okana has his way, Space Harrier won’t stay unloved for long.

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  • Sega "Gets" the Wii

    As previously stated, the Nintendo Wii is just about two years old now, well enough into its life cycle to no longer forgive developers for unfamiliar hardware restrictions and lazy ports (yes, I'm looking at you, Harmonix and Rock Band). Most people still look at the Wii as home of the goofy mini-game collection despite its having also hosted some truly unique and wonderful unloved gems like EA's Boom Blox, Ubisoft's No More Heroes, Capcom's Zack & Wiki and THQ's de Blob. There is one major game publisher, though, who seems hard-pressed to make the Wii completely awesome with a wide range of aggressive titles, and that publisher is (believe it or not) Sega. That's right, longtime Nintendo rival Sega. Kinda makes you wonder why the Dreamcast flopped...

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  • WTFriday: Goldman's Drama Academy

    Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.

    I have to apologize because today's WTFriday is more than a little dated; but since my buddy picked up The House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return (not exactly a graceful title) for the Wii, I've had Goldman on my mind. Who's Goldman? Why, he's the series' recurring villain, whose plan to "cleanse the world" involves filling it with the most disgusting, abhorrent creatures to not really exist: zombies. But the important thing here is that he's clearly voiced by someone speaking English phonetically. The original Resident Evil tends to come to mind when we think of bad voice acting, but House of the Dead 2 is much, much worse--and rarely ever gets the credit it deserves.

    Check out the following video and dare to tell me that stuff like "the master of unlocking" is even half as bad the marble-mouthed Goldman:



    More tips on public speaking after the cut.

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  • Lowering the Standard: Why Nintendo’s Hardcore vs. Casual Commitments Aren’t the Problem

    I tend to sound overly pessimistic when talking about the Wii. I happen to love the system. I think the funky little box has quite a lot going for it and it’s given me a handful of unforgettable gaming experiences, with Wii Sports and No More Heroes chief among them. No, I’m not overly pessimistic about the Wii. I’m overly pessimistic about Nintendo. As much as I want to be excited about a new Punch-Out!, I can’t help but look at the facts: Nintendo has released more traditional, hardcore games in the Wii’s first two years than they did in the Gamecube’s first four and all of them, with the exceptions of Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, have been below the gold standard of Nintendo’s internally developed software from generations past.

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  • Trailer Review: House of the Dead – Overkill



    Back in what kids are calling “the day”, I spent a lot of time in an arcade in State College, Pennsylvania by the name of Playland. Playland was a classic. Made up of four dark, dank rooms lined with cabinets from every era of gaming up to 2003, it reeked of cigarette smoke and pheromones, always overflowing with people, most of them laughing, a few scowling with concentration. Actual fights were rare, heated Street Fighter fights common. It was beautiful like the sun. For most of the year 2000, I had a routine running at Playland. I would head over once class ended at three o’clock, and I would bring one dollar in quarters. Then I would play House of the Dead and see where that dollar got me. Afternoons that year were spent with one arm stretched in front of the cabinet, memorizing when some grizzled undead monstrosity would pop out from behind a specific wall, and getting just a little farther on a single quarter. I never did manage to beat it on one credit (came close,) but it didn’t matter. It was awesome all the same.

    But not nearly as awesome as House of the Dead’s resurrection in this trailer. Indeed, this trailer may be the awesomest thing I have seen in my life. After watching it, after witnessing this all out zombie brutality, I think I might be suffering from awesome poisoning. Not acute awesome poisoning. Severe.

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  • about the blogger

    John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

    Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

    Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

    Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

    Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

    Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

    Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

    Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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