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• Entitled PC Gamers Whine about Rights

  Stardock's PC Gamer's Bill of Rights is a laughable and self-defeating piece of diggbait, sure to be received by mouth-breathing PC gamers with a hearty "hear hear". It's bull -- the moment you shell out cash is the moment you need to stop whining about rights. The list, with my take, after the jump: Read More... Posted Sep 02 2008, 02:00 PM by Cole Stryker with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: kotaku, cole stryker, gamers, diggbait, pc games, stardock

• The Contrarion: Games Critics Awards are a Pointless Waste of Time

  Each year, journalists form 36 media outlets aggregate their views on E3's best games -- "games that will shape the future of interactive entertainment". What a stupid, worthless accolade. The journalists are basically judging on trailers and brief "hands-on" time. Why would any self-respecting journalist bother participating in such a masturbatory contest? Cripe, Kotaku managed to squeeze five posts out of it. Spore has secured a place for the last three years. Past winners include classics like Def Jam: Fight for New York, Majestic, Oni, Um Jammer Lammy, and Sentinel Returns. Real paradigm shifters, those. Shaping the future of online entertainment. The full breakdown....AFTER THE JUMP!!!1 Read More... Posted Aug 06 2008, 12:00 PM by Cole Stryker with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: kotaku, fallout 3, cole stryker, spore, game critics awards, stupid

• Fat Princess Gobbles Her Way into Blog Drama

  You know, you just can't please these feminazis! All they do is whine about how women in video games all wear bronze bikini armor and boast gravity-defying boobies. Right guys? Enter Fat Princess. Finally, a game highlights a cake-guzzling damsel in distress, and they're still up in arms. From Shakesville via Kotaku: I'm positively thrilled to see such unyielding dedication to creating a new generation of fat-hating, heteronormative assholes. It's not often I have the opportunity to congratulate a cutting-edge tech company on such splendiferous retrofuck jackholery. Way to go! The Fat Princess of Shakes Manor salutes you. Read More... Posted Jul 24 2008, 05:00 PM by Cole Stryker with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: kotaku, cole stryker, feminism, salon, fat princess, women, ps3

• Toys are "Better than Video Games"?

  "Who put this thing together? Me, that's who! Who do I trust? Me!" - Tony Montana That's what I thought of when I read the following: Since Wii Music has no discernible scoring system, no goals and little in the way of those squishy innards that makes a game a "game," isn't it just a "musical toy"? That was the question posed by one European journo. "Yes, that's right," Miyamoto curtly replied "And that's why it's better than a video game." OK, Miyamoto, you've used up your last "Get out of Jail Free" card with this one. I stuck with you through the turbulent N64/Gamecube years, and I was happy to see you take it to the top with the Wii. But the above quote is so screechingly wrong, so not what I wanted to hear from E3. Read More... Posted Jul 18 2008, 12:00 AM by Cole Stryker with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: kotaku, cole stryker, casual games, shigeru miyamoto, wii music

• Kojima's In Another World

  Depending on what side of the world you live on, you might even say Metal Gear Solid's daddy is Out Of This World. I already know I'm a hopeless nerd, so I have no problem confessing that I love to find out about what inspires creative types. I get to say "Oh hey! Me too!" and for a precious second, I feel validated. Then the shadows gather again. Kotaku published an article about the five games that matter to Hideo Kojima. Super Mario Bros is a given, but I was happy to see that Eric Chahi's brooding alien adventure Another World was on the list as well. Another World, cleverly renamed Out Of This World in North America, comes from a rare point in history when computer gamers had every right to laugh at console gamers. While young scientist Lester Knight Chaykin picked his way through a grim and hostile alien world with seemingly no hope of getting home, he took hundreds of enthralled Amiga, Apple II and DOS owners along with him. Every move he made counted, because one wrong turn or one bad step was all it took to die a hauntingly animated death. Every victory in Another World was bitterly earned, every discovery mattered. Meanwhile, console gamers said "Ook Ook", threw their NES controllers at the screen and picked each other for lice. Read More... Posted Jul 10 2008, 08:50 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: kotaku, hideo kojima, adventure games, alien, out of this world, another world, buddy, lester knight chaykin, interplay, inspirations, eric chahi

• Counterpoint: Games Shouldn't Try to Be Movies

  Tim Travers, Rolling Stone's movie critic has proclaimed GTA the "best summer popcorn movie" but I couldn't help but opt out of the merry round of high-fives going on over at Kotaku. For a couple reasons: First, GTA IV doesn't really break any new ground. It's a better looking, more detailed iteration of GTA III. Travers claims it's a "wow of a start" (whatever that means) on the road to cinematic artistry. I loved what I saw of GTA IV. It's a visceral experience with excellent pacing. The game did not drag for a moment, and it's detailed universe is a huge improvement to Liberty City's literal and figurative jagged edges in GTA III. But mechanically, it's nothing new.  Secondly, and most importantly, I don't want to see games moving in this direction. I think Will Wright (boy am I in love with this fella lately) was dead on when he claimed in a recent interview that "...game designers suffer from envy...and many of them want to be film directors."   Read More... Posted Jun 18 2008, 05:00 PM by Cole Stryker with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: kotaku, cole stryker, movies, rolling stone, metal gear solid 4, gta iv

• We Can Kick Salman Rushdie’s Ass in Street Fighter

  Probably! I mean, it seems likely, I don’t even know if the guy’s ever played Street Fighter. He is a gigantic geek though. Guy can speak Elvish! Admitted it in public and everything. While you might recall my mentioning a number of novelists crossing over into videogames, this is, unfortunately, not one of those stories. Read More... Posted Jun 10 2008, 11:00 AM by John Constantine with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, kotaku, street fighter, salman rushdie

• Kotaku Endorses Products Unaware

  Yesterday Kotaku published a post regarding how Figure Prints, a company that creates 3D models of WoW avatars, ran an ad in a comic book with a testimonial from Axel at Kotaku. The compelling testimonial reads, "Wow... I NEED ONE!!!" Problem is, no one who writes for Kotaku goes by the name of Axel. It turns out that the company snagged the gushing prose of one of Kotaku's bleating commenters, attributing the quote to Kotaku.com, where it technically appeared. And the commenters are all slapping Axel on the back with hearty shouts of, "Kotaku commenters FTW!!" Read More... Posted Jun 04 2008, 02:00 PM by Cole Stryker with | with no comments Filed under: kotaku, world of warcraft, advertising, journalism, ethics

• Sex in Games: Daniel Floyd is a Smart Cookie, But No Al Green

  I’m pretty confident that panties were not thrown at Mr. Floyd when he presented this video in his Media Theory class at Savannah College of Art and Design. You can tell just tell he's no Prince of Love. Passing judgment on relative sexiness aside, Mr. Floyd’s put together an accessible history, analysis, and compelling argument on the future of sex in videogames. The man makes a good point when he says that mature treatments of sexuality must come from game designers themselves. But, truthfully, the people who play games have as much responsibility as designers in introducing thoughtful sexual themes into games. If gamers don’t show a willingness to turn a way from the stock settings and premises of most games, designers and, more importantly, publishers won’t see a need to satisfy that audience. Sexuality in games’ real hope lies not just in designers but in digital distribution. Game makers looking to explore human relationships, intimacy, and sex itself will find their greatest opportunity on the internet, free of publishing restraints and the scrutiny that comes from selling games in mainstream outlets. All the same, good on you, Mr. Floyd. High five. Catch the video after the jump. Read More... Posted May 27 2008, 02:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, kotaku, al green, sex

• This Just In: Japanese Gamers Perv Out At A Young Age

  ...kind of. According to Kotaku, 2.8 percent of Japanese fifth graders play erotic games. Read More... Posted May 19 2008, 01:00 PM by Peter Smith with | with no comments Filed under: peter smith, kotaku, porn videogame, bbs, fifth graders, japan, erotic bishojo adventure game for adults only, marcel proust, private nurse

• For Love of the Game: Metroid II Remakes

  The original Metroid is one of my all-time favorite games, so my feelings about Metroid: Zero Mission, Nintendo's 2004 remake, are predictably mixed. Zero Mission repairs some of the archaic aspects of the original, like wonky controls, an annoying password system and the obligation to refill your energy every time you return to the game. On the other hand, it diffuses the sprawling, almost Lovecraftian eeriness of the original with its aggressive handholding — a trademark fault of late-period Nintendo games. It also unforgivably bungles one of the greatest climaxes in videogame history — the slaughter, by the player, of a shrieking brain in a jar, followed by a slippery-thumbed ascent up an exploding escape shaft — by tacking on a painfully out-of-place stealth section. In any case, Nintendo's obvious follow-up was a remake of Metroid II: Return of Samus, a game that arguably needed revamping more than the original. Read More... Posted May 12 2008, 01:00 PM by Peter Smith with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: peter smith, metroid, remake, nintendo, for love of the game, sr388, fan project, kotaku, metroid ii return of samus, metroid zero mission, another metroid 2 remake, super metroid, metroid fusion, metroid sr388, hp lovecraft, game boy