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  • The New Graphics Whores: Bit.Trip Beat is Gorgeous, But Retro Style Does Not Equate Quality



    A strange thing happened to me between downloading Bit.Trip Beat and beating its first boss. While delighting in its vivid color, laughing at its signature character leaving rainbows in his wake across digital space, and letting its infectious chiptune beats colonize my brain, I realized that I wasn’t having any fun. That’s fine — I’m a firm believer in the fact that a game doesn’t need to be fun to be good — but I was expecting to have fun. I wanted to have fun. I was engaged by it, but not in a good way. I found the game to be overbearing and stressful. Then it hit me: Bit.Trip Beat is a bad game.

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  • WTFriday: The Splash Woman Rap

    Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.

    "Sometimes it's hard to be Splash Woman..."
    - Tammy Wynette, "Stand By Your Mega Man"

    Thanks to the kind folks at Game Music 4 All, I've become obsessed with some of the more creative video game remixes out there, like the Mother mashup I posted about yesterday. The weekly WTFriday falls on something just as awesome, but far more bizarre: an original Mega Man 9 music video featuring a completely-original rap set to Splash Woman's stage music. The lyrics to said rap shine a little more light on the obvious sexual tension between Mega Man and Splash Woman, and also give us a disturbing look into an alternate universe where Sonic Team somehow became responsible for creating Mega Man's music. But rest assured that Knuckles' rapping abilities fall short when compared to this fan-made project.

    Video after the cut.

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  • Mega Man 9: Powered Up and LittleBigGalaxyMan

    Every now and again, I curse the internet and its countless paths. It’s easy to get lost in here. it’s easy to lost literal hours of your life on completely meaningless, mindless drivel. How many times have you, dear reader, fallen into a YouTube spiral, clicking related video after related video until the moving images no longer hold meaning? Every URL is perilous I tell you. Then I come to my senses and remember the all important truth about the 21st century: the internet is awesome. As is meaningless, drivel, and the access we have to it.

    Despite my recent renaissance with the game, I probably wouldn’t have found out about this brave soul’s Mega Man: Powered Up adventures if it wasn't for aimless internet wandering. They've made a close-to-perfect recreation of Galaxy Man’s stage from Mega Man 9.

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  • Some Games Nadia Played in 2008 Instead of Working: Mega Man 9

     

    When I have to call up numbers for any reason, I rely on “funny” math. 1+1 = cow and whatnot. I don’t like math and math doesn’t like me. There’s a reason why I’m scrabbling as a writer and not pursuing my dream career as an epidemiologist (no, I’m serious).

    This is my roundabout say of saying I miscounted the days and my “Ten Games Nadia Played, etc,” list isn’t going to hit double digits. It will be forever young and I’m comfortable with that.

    One reason I might be so bad with numbers is because I spent a significant amount of my childhood playing Mega Man games instead of doing something useful. When you’re a Mega Man fan, what use is there for numbers above eight? Of course, when it comes time to count the sheer number of sequels and offshoots Mega Man has appeared in, you’re kind of boned. I thought I’d just do like the rabbits from Watership Down and refer to large numbers as “Hrar”--but then rumours of Mega Man 9 showed up and around and I knew the title deserved my attempt to count above eight.

    The first substantial details about Mega Man 9 came through the June 2008 edition of Nintendo Power. It was pretty heartening to read jaw-dropping revelations about a highly anticipated title through a print magazine; that sort of thing just doesn’t happen so much anymore.

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  • Know Your Mega Man Boss Weaknesses. It Will Save Your Life.

    Quick. Name Snake Man's weakness in Mega Man III.

    Your two seconds are up. Do you know it? That's what I thought.

    According to the word on the wind, I'll be getting a BB Gun for Christmas. I plan to arm myself and quiz citizens of the world on their Mega Man trivia. You would do well to study up, and to stock up on Red Bull (I'm thinking about being lenient on ignorant gamers who provide a suitable offering to slake my wrath. They might not be wholly spared, but a shot to the bum is preferable to a shot through the eye).

    It just so happens Cybermoon Studios has visual references for Mega Man boss weaknesses. The games covered include Mega Man, Mega Man 2, Mega Man 3 and Mega Man 9.

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  • Seven Minutes With Mega Man 9's Music

    What are you thankful for this year? If your answer isn't "Mega Man 9" and "Bitchin' guitars," I don't want to talk to you anymore.

    At this point in your life, you've no doubt heard Mega Man 2's "Doctor Wily Stage One" remixed on every instrument from the jew's harp to some dog's armpit. It's high time we start running Mega Man 9's fantastic soundtrack into the ground. Let this Freddie fellow lead the revolution with this lovely seven minute compilation/remix of every tune in the game.

    Be wary of last boss spoilers if you're like me and haven't bested Wily yet. Ugh, the shame.



    Related Links:

    The Mega Man Robot Club
    Mega Man 9 Bosses Look Like Mega Man Bosses
    For Love of the Game: Rockman 7 FC


  • Achievements and Trophies and Unlocking, Oh Meh



    Amazing things are going to happen in 2009. In the first third of the year, we’ll be playing a trifecta of raw, unadulterated Capcom goodness in the form of Street Fighter IV, Bionic Commando, and Resident Evil 5, Killzone 2 will finally come out and not look anything like the concept footage shown at E3 2005, we might find out just what the hell Alan Wake is, and maybe, just maybe, it’ll turn out that Final Fantasy XIII is actually a videogame and not just a three minute clip of a chick with nice hair. Home might even come out! Instead of the adorable little freak version of you that putters around your Wii games – or your Xbox 360, which is the exact same little freak but with hands and a selection of shirts from Old Navy – you’ll get to have a version of yourself that is iPod commercial ready, with glossy hair sharp enough to cut a Nomura character. You’ll get to go bowling, wonder why no one’s playing Warhawk and show off all your trophies. And you will have trophies, rest assured. Come ’09, Sony’s making them an obligatory component of any and all PS3 games.

    I don’t necessarily think achievements and trophies are a bad thing, especially for the type of player who enjoys setting themselves inane goals outside a game’s explicit ones. I just don’t understand why they have to be a necessary feature in every game.

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  • Klonoa: Careful, Namco. You Tread On My Dreams.

    I’m not a purist. No, really. When it comes to classics being revisited, modernized, or remade, I don’t need every facet of the past perfectly preserved just the way I remember it in order to get a desperate nostalgic thrill. I delight in Mega Man 9 because it’s a great game whose presentation and technological limitations are carefully made design choices, not because it’s a new NES game. I’ll let you in on a secret: I actually like Mega Man 7 and 8. Yeah, that’s right. I think they’re good games. Not as good as their forebears, but all the same. When the new Bionic Commando was announced last year, even before Rearmed was revealed, I didn’t balk at Radd Spencer’s Adam-Duritz-makeover. I think the new look is cool, especially the way his dreads flow behind him like delicate willow branches as he soars through dystopian cityscapes and… oh! Excuse me. What I’m getting at is that not everything from yesterday is sacred. Some things, especially in games, should be changed. Final Fantasy III DS is a good thing. The NES original is just too slow now. Tomb Raider Anniversary preserves a revolutionary game’s best qualities while also making it, you know, playable. In with the new, out with the old may not be an all-encompassing maxim, but it’s more often than not good advice.

    That said, Namco, if you go through with this, I will hurt you.

    The Raw Meat Cowboy himself over at GoNintendo received a survey from Namco-Bandai today, the subject of which was their impending Wii remake of Klonoa: Door to Phantomile. RMC has smartly inferred that Namco is testing the waters to see if Klonoa should be localized for North America. One of the questions in the survey asks which of these two character designs is preferable.

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  • Watcha Playing: The Palette Cleanser



    The past six weeks have been teeming with meaty, action games. I’ve been working through them slowly but surely, like an elegant seven course meal. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed was thick, hot comfort fare, a brief appetizer of sloppy design coated in delicious Stormtrooper and rancor killing action. The game’s a buggy mess, really, the gaming equivalent of empty calories, but definitely satisfying. Then there was the dynamic horror duo of Dead Space and Silent Hill: Homecoming, a soup and salad combo built to terrify. They didn’t really scare, but instead delivered visceral body simulations. Both games succeeded by making you constantly aware of your avatar’s physical presence and the heft of their actions, and they achieved this through a careful synergy between atmosphere and play. Yakuza 2 was truly the main course, a game I had no expectations for whatsoever that turned into an all time favorite. Its broad adventure, pulp tale of cops and crooks, and simple but ceaselessly engaging fisticuffs were nourishing, more substantial than anything released on current gen consoles. For dessert, Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia. Another bonafide surprise, Ecclesia turned out to not be another retread through Igarashi’s decade-old formula, but a challenging successor to Castlevania 2 with fierce action whose variety and elegance was exceeded only by the game’s environments. Yes, it’s been a great month of big games, but it’s been the small things I’ve played in between them, games I’ve played for no more than a handful of minutes here and there, that have given the most *ahem* food for thought.

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  • Paper Covers Rockman

    Megaman 9 has clearly generated an amicable chunk of fan-love since its surprise announcement, wide digital release, and universally exceptionally positive reception. But it ain't a phenomenon until it's got a truly unique and beautiful fan video project on youtube, right?

    Well color Megaman 9 Forest Green Phenomenon because this video is 120% pure awesome...

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  • Read This Fabulous (and Translated) Rockman 9 Mini-Manga

    You have probably embraced every corner and fold of Mega Man 9 by now. If you haven't, you are a bad human being and I'll speak to God about revoking your humanity.

    As for the rest of you, there's one last bit of Mega Man 9 love that you have been lacking...until now. The Rockman 9 arranged soundtrack came with a small manga put together by manga-ka Hitoshi Ariga. It relays Mega Man 9's story and depicts Dr Light's struggle before he's thrown into robot pound-you-in-the-output prison. It's surprisingly dark, but one hundred percent awesome. And now, it's one hundred percent translated thanks to The Mega Man Network. You can read it here.

    You'll likely notice right away that Ariga is pretty fantastic at what he does. He's done a great deal of Mega Man-related manga in the past, so he's in his element with this bit of loveliness. I can't immediately think of another manga-ka who has so much fun with his characters' attire. Dig Dr Wily's skeleton tie and sunglasses. Awesome. Even Dr Light looks cool in his stylish trench coat.

    Read and enjoy.

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  • Let the Mega Man 9 Speedruns Continue

    Some weeks back, our very own Bob Mackey reported on the first speedruns of Mega Man 9. But the best clip out at that point was multi-segmented and started out with 999 screws, which is kind of cheating in my book. Now, watch as champion speedrunner Nicholas “SirVG” Hoppe (who holds world speed records on such classics as Actraiser, Kirby: Nightmare in Dreamland and Castlevania: Rondo of Blood) delivers the goods with a single-segment, new-game run. (And provides entertaining captions to boot.)

    Hit the jump to check it out.

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  • Mega Man is a Dick

    From the good human being who brought us "BISOOOOON!" comes a video of Mega proportions: Mega Man 10: WTF?

    "WTF" is all you need to describe the Ruby-Spears Mega Man cartoon that aired in the early '90s. No other cartoon licensed by Capcom or otherwise varied so wildly in quality. Yes, I am counting Street Fighter and Dark Stalkers. Neither of those had the dizzying high of Mega X (in which Mega Man X chases Vile and Spark Mandrill to the past and blasts the holy shit out of everything around him in spite of being a pacifist in the games) or the bowel-dropping low of Curse of the Lion Men (which simply has to be seen to be believed).

    Nevertheless, I followed the cartoon. I didn't often like what I saw, but "Day of Sigma" was still more than ten years over the horizon so I had to make do somehow. I would just kind of let my brain glaze over and jerk reflexively whenever I heard "Sizzling circuits!"

    But I never realised until seeing this video that Mega Man was an out-and-out dick to Roll so often.

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  • Infinite Mega Man 9: Composer Ippo Yamada Talks Living Up to a Serious Musical Pedigree

    You would think that, two weeks out from its release, we would cool our metaphorical jets and stop talking about Mega Man 9 quite so much here at 61 Frames Per Second. You would be wrong. Dead wrong. So wrong, that after you thought this thought, we would show up at your house, defeat you in single combat, and get your secret weapon to put to our own heroic uses. Probably not, actually. You are a powerful robot master, dear reader. I would need many energy tanks to take you down, but frankly I’m not made of bolts, so defeat’s inevitable. Let us agree, instead, to ride my robot dog into the sunset with one another and continue to discuss the most glorious and improbable creation that is Mega Man 9.

    More specifically, let us discuss its quality collection of crunchy jams, that soundtrack that hops between thematic reference and impressive original melody writing with veritable ease.

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  • Let the Mega Man 9 Speed Runs Begin

     

    It took much longer than I thought, but intrepid 2D platform fans have finally started uploading the fruits of their labor; so now, those with skills outside the Mega Man domain (i.e., me) can stare in awe and wonder as puddles of drool develop at their feet.  What I've chosen to share with you today is--at the moment of this writing, anyway--the fastest Mega Man 9 speed run currently available on YouTube; though research tells me that the world record is a minute and change less than cordic's time of 23:16.  Follow the fun here, or watch below through the techno-wizardry known as embedding:



    I'm not one to call anyone's Mega Man skills into question, but cordic cheeses this run just a little bit; note the starting amount of 999 screws, and the fact that this run is segmented as opposed to being one straight shot. But there's a whole lot of raw talent here--and if this dude doesn't have a turbo controller, I am prepared to call him out as a robot foolishly trying to integrate himself into human society. We're onto you, robot.

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  • Too Many Crayons



    As I write this, I'm in a conversation that has me thinking about old games and how they were developed. The game that has prompted this moment of musing is Mega Man 9. I like what's been done with Mega Man 9 and the purposeful 8-bit approach, not because I care for the NES style but because I like the intentionally imposed restrictions. Sometimes, when the sky is the limit, sloppy design can result. I'd like to see more developers give their teams pet projects like this just to hone their skills and learn the value of efficiency.

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  • Darkwing Duck: Capcom's Secret Mega Man

    Since we've all got Mega Man 9 on the brain--and because XBox 360 owners won't even get to play the game until tomorrow--there's never been a more appropriate time to talk about Capcom's 2D legacy.  Tragically, a good chunk of Capcom's 8-bit output will never be seen or played again outside of illegal methods or flea market acquirements; the rights to various Disney franchises, once held by the company, are now elsewhere, leaving us with quite a few orphaned and homeless games dating from the late 80s to the early 90s.  It doesn't look like Capcom or Disney is interested in bringing these titles back to life--and Disney especially seems to be fond of completely ignoring most of their older television animation--so all we're only left with memories, and the magic of emulation.

    Surprisingly, playing Mega Man 9 over the past week has caused memories of Capcom's Darkwing Duck to start leaking from my brain, so I went back to the game to find out why.

    The shocking truth? Darkwing is shamelessly similar to Mega Man--he even makes that same little cricket-y noise when he lands on his feet. But Darkwing (the game) lacks many of the accoutrements that can lower the blood pressure of the frustrated Mega Man player; there're no boss weaknesses, energy tanks, or robotic dogs to help shield you from certain death.  Darkwing does have a few more moves than Mega Man, but being able to shield yourself from projectiles and hang from certain objects only facilitates more scenarios where you will die.  Repeatedly.

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  • The Mathematical Guide to Mega Man

    If you've even thought about getting all of Mega Man 9's in-game achievements, then you're either a robot, or just plain crazy; and I commend you, you magnificent bastard. Unfortunately, I lack the fortitude to push myself through these optional challenges--and the time it would take me to train for them could be better spent learning another language or painting tiny things on grains of rice.

    Since the achievements of Mega Man 9 are practically built for being filmed and upoloaded to the Internet, I'm anticipating the hundreds of speed/challenge runs that will inevitably end up on YouTube (if they're not already there).  And if you're interested in shaving hundredths of a second off of your final time, then boy have I got a website for you.  TASvideos, a tool-assisted speedrun page, has a special section on the NES Mega Man games that provides more information than you'd ever want to know.  Here's an example: 

    In many platform games, you don’t need to be exactly positioned to grab a ladder. You can stand about 10 pixels beside the ladder and when you press up (or down), you’ll immediately grab the ladder.

    In Mega Man games, this means that by walking or jumping past a ladder you can grab the ladder for 1 frame and immediately release it in order to gain extra movement very quickly. Walking across the ladder would take about 12 frames, but by grabbing it from distance and releasing it you can shorten it to about 8 frames.


    I'm not sure how much of this material is compatible with Mega Man 9, but some brave soul out there has to have the free time and social disorder necessary to find out. Let's wait and watch.

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  • My Last Mega Man 9 Post, I Swear

    Mega Man 9 is currently kicking my ass and making me rethink my status as a gamer; after a little over an hour of play, I've only seen a few robot bosses and nearly beat Splash Woman.  Needless to say, this is a time of crisis, and I need my friends more than ever.  So before you lose all respect for me and never read any of my posts again, I have a few substantive things to say about the game.  Thanks for your support.

    I'd like to begin by saying that, thanks to a self-imposed media blackout, I knew practically nothing about Mega Man 9 before I sat down to play it. Only later, after I had my fill of cursing at spikes, I sat down to read 1UP scribe and Mega Man fanatic Jeremy Parish's excellent review; it was the first source to inform me that Mega Man's slide and charge shot--established from the third and fourth entries in the series, respectively--were both missing from 9. This came as a bit of a shock, since I'd played the game for a while and hadn't even noticed.  Could this have been some very boring episode of The Twilight Zone?

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  • Nintendo Fred's Sweet Revenge

    I have no idea who specifically makes the decisions about when certain games are released on the Virtual Console and WiiWare. For the purposes of this blog play, I'll refer to this entity as "Nintendo Fred."

    Likewise, I have no idea who's in charge over at Bplus studios. For the purposes of this blog play, I'll refer to him as Bplus Phil, since "Phil" is a proud Austrian name.

    Earlier today when I was sniffing around the Wii Shop Channel for my birthright, Mega Man 9, a drama played out in my head. It went a little like this.

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  • The Mega Man Robot Club

    You'll have to forgive me, because I really can't think of anything but Mega Man today; I even had my students play some of Mega Man 3 under the tortured logic that they might learn something. Believe me when I say that this in-class experiment fully integrated the terms from our reading, and wasn't just an excuse to see the game projected on a massive screen.

    Mega Man was the size of my head.

    But with today's release of Mega Man 9, it isn't much of a surprise that I've been enveloped in Blue Bomber (please note that no one has ever sincerely called Mega Man that) nostalgia.  Fittingly, this nostalgia brings me back to my childhood, where for a few years my life was based on Mega Man's teachings.  Around the release of Mega Man 3, during recess I regularly met with schoolyard chums who, instead of running around and playing on the dangerous concrete-and-steel Nixon-era playground equipment, would go through page after page of loose-leaf paper coming up with Mega Man robot boss designs.  It was a great creative exercise that went beyond the little boy conceptual borders of Pee Man and Poop Man.

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  • Mega Man 9: IT'S OUT NOW

    Barring some sort of life-altering world crisis, Mega Man 9 should be available on the Wii's Shopping Channel at this very moment. That's right; a new official Mega Man game now exists in the universe. What did you do to deserve this? Probably nothing; but I'm sure you have 10 bucks, and that certainly makes up for all of the karma.

    If you don't own a Wii, you're going to have to wait a few excruciating and interminable days before you can download Mega Man 9 on your XBox 360 or PS3.  But if you really think about it, the Wii is the best platform for Mega Man 9--and this has absolutely nothing to do with the typical snide commentary about the comparatively lackluster graphics of Nintendo's console.  Out of the big three home systems, only the Wii has a controller befitting of Mega Man's 2-D legacy.

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  • Mega Man 9 Review: Pay No Attention to the Numbers. For My Sanity and Yours.

    I don't get to review stuff too often in my writing "career." I'm far more thankful for this than you might imagine.

    I correct myself. I do actually review Japanese manga over at Mania.com and I'm pretty okay with receiving free manga. But reviewing manga is as easy as petting a dog. I read the story within an hour, write up my opinions and Bob's yer uncle, as my mom says (for some reason). Reviewing a game, on the other hand, is as treacherous as petting a wolf. You might get through it alive, but then again you might be missing your large intestine by the end of it.

    Writing a game review is such a nasty business because gamers decided at some point that they're allergic to reading. It all comes down to the numbers. Yes, numbers are the universal language, but come on. The world is so much larger than 8.8.

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  • What I'm Playing This Weekend: No Freakin' Clue, Boyo

    My husband and I downloaded a whack of Virtual Console games a couple of weeks ago, and it looks like we're through our backlog already. Last week I mentioned that we were going through Super Mario Bros 3 and of course, that's long since been done with. We travelled from the breezy plains of Grass Land to the twisted ruined mushroom villages in Dark Land. Also, I used a Hammer Bros music box at the end of Pipe Land and the lullaby music carried over to Dark Land. Tee hee.

    For someone who writes about games for a cursed living, I rarely get a chance to settle down and play what I want, except on weekends. Oh, cold irony. Looks like I'll have to opt out of gaming this weekend though because apparently some sort of last-minute miniature family reunion is going on involving cousins from Belfast. There will be drinking. Drinking is good, but it's best performed in conjunction with gaming. I guess I won't have that option unless I haul along Guitar Hero or something, but I'm a terribly lazy girl.

    However, Mega Man 9 is almost on us, so I guess this is as good an opportunity as any to practise my finger-bending exercises. I feel like a parent who's sending her kid out onto the stage. Please don't fall on your face, darling. You'll embarrass me and I'll have to move to the Yukon and pose as a sled dog. Bark bark!

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  • I Will Push Over Your Grandmothers For a Mega Man 9 Press Kit

    We're all friends here at 61 FPS and I believe in being straightforward with my friends. Therefore, I don't think I need to keep it a secret that I am willing to do some pretty reddish work at night to get my paws on this sexy, sexy Mega Man 9 press kit.

    I have a fish-scaling knife. I have Jethro Tull on my iPod. It's Go time.

    Threats of violence aside, I have to admire the firm grasp Capcom has on fan nostalgia. Sure, the company is teasing us like a kid holding a steak just out of the reach of a chained dog, but there aren't too many other companies out there that are willing to make fun of their past atrocities. Cover-ups seem preferred. Look at Konami's wretched attempt to erase "WHAT IS A MAN" away from the Internet lexicon with the re-translation of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night on the PSP.

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  • Sweet, Sweet Energy: Drink a Mega Man E-Tank

    Is an evil scientist totally getting all up in your face? You know what you need: a can full of honeybee secretions.

    Old video games left a lot of blanks for our imaginations to fill in. I always figured Mega Man's energy-restoring E-Tanks were filled with gasoline, oil, or something else that would kill me in a quick fit of screaming torment. However, souvenir E-Tank "energy tanks" have hit the shelves in Japan and it would seem that Mega Man's source of energy is delicious, nutritious royal jelly.

    The Mega Man Network has a short, translated review of the drink:

    "The drink is clear, and 'flavor and ingredients are typical to that of any other sports drink, though it has a strong aftertaste of royal honey - the drinks primary flavoring constituent. Nevertheless, he felt that the beverage does deliver a spot of energy for those laggy days at work or right after giving your all in sport.'"

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  • For Love of the Game: Rockman 7 FC

    Most people agree that the Mega Man series went downhill around Mega Man IV. I'm with 'em. But Mega Man IV, V, and VI are pretty great all the same, which is more than you can say for Mega Man 7. Boy, do I hate Mega Man 7. Some people say Mega Man 7 is good, but they are charlatans with no taste. Everything got cutesy all of a sudden, the music sucks, and the feel is completely off, probably because the character sprites are so big that there's no room to maneuver.

    Luckily, some enterprising soul in Japan put his programming (and art and music) skills to the test, and came up with Rockman 7 FC, the greatest thing I've seen all week.

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  • New Mega Man 9 Trailer: I'm Drowning in My Childhood

     

    Don't throw me a lifejacket, though. I'm quite happy here.

    On its way to gearing up for E3, IGN posted a fresh new Mega Man 9 trailer. For starters, the trailer finally confirms that Mega Man 9 is in fact destined for PSN and XBLA as well as WiiWare. Game news outlets and even series creator Keiji Inafune have been back and forth about this. In a recent interview with GamesRadar, Inafune said "We haven’t announced a XBLA or PSN title yet. Do the fans want them?"

    I guess he was playing around, that sly dog. I revere him.

    The trailer includes a good deal of gameplay footage. Lots of pits, spikes, and those disappearing-reappearing blocks that used to haunt your childhood nightmares. I know a certain robot dog who will be fitted with his jet upgrade as soon as possible.

    What's really thrilling to see make a return are the big colourful animal robots that would block your progress in Mega Man 2 and beyond. A circus elephant with a big red ball will be joining the mechanimal stable, which includes notables like Hot Dog from Mega Man 2, those damnable orange cats from Mega Man 3 and of course, Dragon. You know what game Dragon is from, right? He made you crap your Alf underwear when he first appeared. Don't deny it.

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  • The Ten Greatest Classic Mega Man Levels, Part 3

    Shadow Man



    As Pete said, Mega Man III started to strain the series' robot-masters-as-industrial-tool conceit. Silly as Top Man is, I have even more trouble getting my head around Shadow Man and his lair sitting at the bottom of a waterfall of lava. What was the civic-planning meeting like for this one? "Finally, we have used the remaining funds in 200X's robot-master budget to build a crazy-sweet ninja robot who lives in a rad fortress at the bottom of a lava flow. He will be protected by robot frogs and parachuting heads." "Madness! Why would you do such a thing?" "Because, sir. It is awesome." Know what? He's right. — JC

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  • The Ten Greatest Classic Mega Man Levels, Part 2

    Metal Man



    More than your average Mega Man stage, Metal Man's feels collosal. Who knows why — maybe it's the giant screws and gears in the foreground, or the dense, heavily animated background (technically quite impressive) of pistons and cogs. Or maybe it's that Metal Man's stage actually has somewhat less variety than most of Mega Man II's stages, thereby suggesting a larger size. Whatever the reason, the scope seems massive. The stage itself is relatively short, but it feels like just a small part of a vast, rusted-out fortress of industry. — PS

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  • about the blogger

    John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

    Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

    Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

    Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

    Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

    Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

    Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

    Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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