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WTFriday: CNET's Don Reisinger Is Afraid of the Human Body

Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.

So it looks like CNET's Don Reisinger has a bee in his bonnet about EA putting the most terrible, abominable, vomit-inducing creations of all time--human female breasts--into the video game adaptation of The Godfather Part II. If you've grown up in a lovely culture influenced by Christian morality, then you probably know that the naked human body is an affront to God and should be covered at all times, lest we get "devil britches," the unofficial terminology for not feeling any shame. Don seems to subscribe to this interpretation of the world, as his"review" of Godfather 2 is entirely fixated on the presence of nudity--he spends three sentences evaluating the game outside of his boob-induced outrage. Three sentences.

I imagine this hard-hitting commentary was very hard to write for Don, what with him coming down with "the vapors" so often.

Roundtable Discussion: Pushing the Envelope on Sex and Nudity

Relatively recently Grand Theft Auto news made waves by showing a full frontal male nudity scene. Now, this is hardly the first time a human being, male or female, has been shown nekkid in a game. You can at least go back as far as the reprehensible Custer's Revenge for the Atari to find a digital representation of male genitals. The question is, do we really need this sort of thing in a video game?

The Lost and the Damned Bares All

To the consumer of mainstream, American media, there's nothing more abominable or disgusting than the human wang--just think about all of those modern gross-out movies where the depiction of a penis is a joke in and of itself. But before you start wondering how heterosexual women operate knowing that the male sex organ is a source of both disgust and hilarity, you'd best fire up the morality sirens because there's about to be a penis in a video game. Thanks to a tip (no pun intended) from 1UP's Kat Bailey, who probably would not like to be given credit for this, the world is now aware that Rockstar is the first developer brave enough to show its audience an entire penis with the new GTAIV DLC, The Lost and the Damned--even after going so overboard on the strippers' pasties. Before I get too wound up about this clear double-standard, we should probably just get to the clip--which I have hidden behind a cut. Why? Because I care about your job.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.