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The Best News In Sixteen Thousand Years: Cave Story Coming to WiiWare

Well, there were rumours about this possibly happening. I remained cynical and said, "Naaaaah," but I was just putting on my icy bitch act (wait, act?) to keep my heart from being broken. Oh the tears I shed at night in hopes that Pixel's beautiful Cave Story would come legitimately to WiiWare, XBLA, PSN, a Tiger Handheld game, anything that let me get my fix through a different means.

And now, Praise Ballos...

I've ripped through Cave Story forwards, backwards and upside-down; if someone wrote a Cave Story Gama Sutra, I would totally flip through it and nod confidently at, uh, half the positions, I guess. I haven't finished Hell, you see.

I have reason to delay my attempts even further, since there are whispers that the WiiWare edition of Cave Story will have extra features. Fascinating. I wonder what they'll be? Probably Mega Man 9-style achievements that will validate our lives like religion and community service never could.

Yahtzee Says, Support Your Local Independent Developer (He's Right).

If you're 1) a gamer and 2) not insane, then one of your favourite all-time games is Cave Story. Cave Story was planned, designed and developed by one demigod, the radiant Pixel. One of the greatest games of all time came from two arms, two eyes and one brain.

Cave Story works so well because the graphics, sound, story and gameplay all compliment each other beautifully. But what if Pixel had proposed the title to, say, EA and had a hive mind work on the game? For starters, it would look and sound radically different because players today are all about the big noises and shiny things according to the Big Men In Charge (which is why Mega Man 9 has everyone leaping like dogs at a lambchop). The aesthetic shift alone would have sent Cave Story's delicate feng shui swirling down the toilet.

Yahtzee talks about the importance of indie games this week, specifically Braid on XBLA. His argument for indie titles against corporate titles is that too many cooks spoil the broth—or rather, too many faceless men in suits destroy the original intent. Sometimes we all need to step back and clear our heads with games that don't stray far from the man or woman who originally thought up the idea.

Spelunking Through Cave Story

Something in the air--I'm going to blame all that dang fireflower pollen blowing around out there--has me in a retro mood. For all the 3D delights I could be indulging in (my brother loaned me Guitar Hero III), I've recently made a happy return to Pixel's Cave Story.

If you haven't played Cave Story, drop what you're doing and download it. No, I don't care if you're performing CPR on your half-dead mother, you simply must experience one of the most endearing and well-balanced 2D platformers ever developed. It's easy to find and it's free. You have no excuse. No, I don't care if trafalmadorians are lifting you into their saucer right this minute.

Granted, I avoided Cave Story for years because the name sounded like some slow and winding "adventure" through a key-driven maze. "Cave Story" brings to mind cheap NES bargain-bin knockoffs that your well-meaning aunt would buy you at Christmas. Wow, thanks Auntie Shiela. I can't wait to throw this at the dog next time he gets into the garbage--I mean, I can't wait to play this.

about the blogger

John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.