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  • Jimmy Fallon Making Good On His Promise To Gamers

    When it was first announced that Jimmy Fallon would be taking over Late Night, I was unenthused. I never found Fallon to be funny or charming in his past work, and the flight to Florida wherein I watched him and Queen Latifa in Taxi was the longest and most uncomfortable two hours in my recent life to not involve work or girls. When he confirmed that his house band would be the Roots, I was simultaneously interested and disappointed. Hurrah, the Roots get a regular paycheck, but did they really need it so badly as to stoop to being a late night house band? When Fallon started talking asking the Twitter community for interview ideas and promised his show would treat video game releases as if they were movie releases, well, then my interest was officially piqued. Maybe this show will actually be okay. Better yet, maybe it will be worthwhile.

    I watched the first week. Outside of "Slow-Jamming The News" and his interview with Tina Fey, it was not very good.

    I wish I'd watched last night, though...

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  • Give Super Punch-Out a Chance

    I've been talking about Punch-Out a lot this week, from blogging about the new Wii update yesterday to gabbing about it on the Stand Under the Don't Tree and Riddle Me This podcast on Tuesday (episode release forthcoming). In fact, I've had so much Punch-Out on the brain that I happened to overlook the fact that one of my favorite games of all time, Super Punch-Out, saw a Virtual Console release this Monday. And now that I no longer have to play Sophie's Choice when it's time to decide which Wii Channel needs to die for the sake of a new download, you can bet I was beating the living snot out of large, cartoonish boxers as soon as humanly possible.

    I've come to observe that Super Punch-Out is mostly unknown and unloved, especially when compared to its iconic little brother--a cultural touchstone for anyone growing up in the 80s (I guess we all wanted to beat up Mike Tyson). But when you strip away the nostalgia, Super Punch-Out is actually a much better game.

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  • The Problem with Punch-Out

    Hardcore Nintendo fans have been grumbling this generation, and most would say rightfully so; the Wii updates to beloved franchises like Super Mario Kart, Animal Crossing, and Super Smash Bros. have been rehashes--and sometimes downgrades--of games seen last generation. Even The Legend of Zelda: Twlight Princess wasn't much more than a prettier Ocarina of Time. But Nintendo knows what bones to throw to the hardcore, and they throw them well. Take the upcoming Punch-Out, for example; old-school Nintendo fanboys have been heralding it as the Wii equivalent of The Second Coming, despite the fact that it's merely a pretty remake of a game they played 20 years ago. For Nintendo, this is a win-win situation--after all, they can keep the most vocal minority of their fanbase happy while appealing to the casuals who will no doubt buy this game en masse. But to the impartial observer, the freak-out over this long-awaited sequel calls into question just how much we're willing to forgive when something repeatedly jabs at our nostalgia nerve.

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  • Warning: Wii Punch-Out!! Might Just Kill You



    Last week, I came down with a flu like sickness. It was bad. I was sent home from the office twice because, apparently, I sounded like I was coughing whole parts of my insides out of my body. Today I am a well man and it’s all thanks to the power of rest and Mythbusters. Let it be known that, provided you are horribly sick, own an Xbox 360, and are a Netflix subscriber, you too can watch Mythbusters until you are fit, or fitter, than a well-made fiddle. Dr. John Constantine prescribes it! During one particularly awesome episode, Adam Savage was isolating ingredients from Diet Coke to determine which of them causes Diet Coke-Mentos-Explosions. While testing caffeine, Savage mixed a solution while commenting, “This is a lot of caffeine. Enough to kill you.” This blew my bed-ridden mind. Caffeine can kill you? Of course it can, all stimulants can! I’d just never considered it. This revelation, in turn, reminded me how dangerous Nintendo can be.

    Case in point: the new Wii Punch-Out!!. Like caffeine and stimulants of all stripes, fan service can kill a person depending on its purity and provided they have enough of it. Watch this trailer for an example of what a just-under-lethal dose looks like.

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  • Punch-Out Wii to Make Early 2009 a Little Less Depressing

    If you asked me what I'm looking forward to in 2009, I'm afraid I wouldn't have a good answer; the only game that I'm anticipating at this point in time, the DS remake of Dragon Quest V, is coming out in less than a month--and that leaves a hell of a lot of this year that needs to be frittered away, especially considering my looming unemployment. But perhaps things aren't as hopeless as they seem; today, Videogamer brightened up what looks to be an otherwise dreary year with the announcement that the upcoming Wii Punch-Out (I refuse to use the title's exclamation points for the sake of clarity) will be hitting store shelves in the first half of 2009. This is exciting because A.) Punch-Out is awesome and B.) hitting people in the face will be a vital skill in our scary new economy.

    There are a lot of expectations being placed on the new Punch-Out; after all, the series has missed two whole console generations thus far. I'd like to believe that Nintendo will do a great job catering to both nostalgia junkies and those looking for a solid pattern-recognizing experience, but the company's "back to basics" approach--AKA, rehashing games they've previously released--makes me worry about the quality of this long-awaited title.

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  • Building A Better(?) Controller

    If there's any one manufacturer I've come to trust with my Wii accessories, it's Nyko. They seem to be tackling each and every problem I've had with the Wii's unique and ubiquitous controller in order of frustration level to (so far) fantastic results. After the frantic Wii launch, gamers worldwide complained about having to change the remote's AA batteries several times while playing Zelda, so Nyko released their Charge Station and I haven't needed AA batteries since. Gamers began choking themselves on the cord between the remote and nunchuck, so Nyko released their Kama wireless nunchuck. Everybody pretty much hated Nintendo's official Wii Zapper plastic shell, so Nyko released the much more sturdy and comfortable Perfect Shot pistol shell. (They've also released a wireless sensor bar, wireless classic controller, rechargable battery pack for the balance board, and other add-ons)

    For their next trick, Nyko decided to redesign the Wii remote itself. Is it more aesthetically pleasing? Lord, no. Is it better? Maybe... it does offer some really sweet new functionality. Introducing the Wand:

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  • Lowering the Standard: Why Nintendo’s Hardcore vs. Casual Commitments Aren’t the Problem

    I tend to sound overly pessimistic when talking about the Wii. I happen to love the system. I think the funky little box has quite a lot going for it and it’s given me a handful of unforgettable gaming experiences, with Wii Sports and No More Heroes chief among them. No, I’m not overly pessimistic about the Wii. I’m overly pessimistic about Nintendo. As much as I want to be excited about a new Punch-Out!, I can’t help but look at the facts: Nintendo has released more traditional, hardcore games in the Wii’s first two years than they did in the Gamecube’s first four and all of them, with the exceptions of Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros. Brawl, have been below the gold standard of Nintendo’s internally developed software from generations past.

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  • The Erotic Adventure of Little Mac

    I grew up sharing my Nintendo with my older brother. It probably won't surprise you all to learn that this meant enduring a lot of hockey games. I far preferred games of the Legend of Zelda and Dragon Warrior variety; long rambling adventures full of swords and monsters that frothed blood yet still came out looking far less violent than Blades of Steel.

    Ah, but I did have a crush on a sports game or two, especially Punch Out!!. We actually owned Mike Tyson's unholy version of the game, which Nintendo now tries to pass off as a bad fever dream the retro community had during a bout of the flu.

    Regardless, I remember what I remember, and I remember being very good at Punch Out!! and its gorgeous successor, Super Punch Out!! for the Super Nintendo. Little Mac kind of faded away after that, but it looks like he'll be back on the Wii. Yes sir, we hated Nintendo at the end of E3 2008, but it looks like we have a big fat reason to get on our knees and kiss ass again. Little Mac never left us; he was only training for the new generation. He's back, and he hasn't grown an inch. That is the right thing according to the order of the universe.

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  • Christmas in Nintendoland: The Tokyo Conference



    If you were a bit disappointed by Nintendo's poor showing at E3, the company's recent Tokyo press conference should make you very, very happy.  While their announcements were nothing mindblowing--though that's to be debated--it was nice to see that, despite the rumors, Nintendo hasn't forgotten about their fans.  Here's a brief trailer of some future Wii software that should leave you drooling for the upcoming Tokyo Game Show. It also has footage of the Klonoa remake I wrote about yesterday:



    So what exactly do we have here? In total, it looks like we're going to see new versions of Sin and Punishment, Tales of, Trace Memory, and most importantly, Punch-Out. I'm personally excited by the last announcement because, with the instant recognition and appeal of Punch-Out, it's strange that Nintendo really hasn't done anything with the franchise since the SNES sequel, Super Punch-Out.  And I may get beaten mercilessly for this, but Super Punch-Out was a much better game than the original; the same basic gameplay was intact, but in a bigger, prettier, and slightly more complex form.  Obviously, there're some interesting things you can do with the Wii-mote in a boxing game--and I assume they'll try a little harder than the slightly-lousy boxing offered in Wii Sports.

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  • Chiptune Friday: A Test of Island Courage!

    As a lifelong coast-dweller, I am well aware of the fact that hurricane season is upon us. With this in mind, I feel that it's the right time to bring out my favorite island-hopping adventure game, StarTropics from Nintendo. Here's the happy little ditty that plays in Chapter 6: Reunion when your young adventurer finally finds his missing archeologist uncle, Dr. J:

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  • The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial, Part 3

    Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!



    We cite Punch-Out!! here not for
    starring Mike Tyson (a controversial figure, even before his rape conviction), but for the degree to which it epitomizes a trend that would dominate gaming in the late-'80s and early-'90s: the "beat up stereotypes from around the world" gameplay model. Granted, most of Punch-Out!!'s characters are too ludicrous to really offend; it's hard to imagine Pacific Islanders getting all up in arms about King Hippo being kind of a jackass. That said, the sight of cross-eyed Piston Honda babbling "Sushi, Kamikaze, Fujiyama, Nipponichi!" as a mid-match battle cry is a little unsettling. — PS

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  • The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial, Part 2

    Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare



    Call of Duty 4 is a game obsessed with realism, its depiction of combat situations and the tools of war meticulous to an almost terrifying degree. Early in the game, you are placed in the gunner’s seat of an AC-130 Spectre over a Ukrainian field, the night vision view of an aerial assault looking no different than an Iraq war newscast, the radio confirmation of kills unsettlingly casual; a game so realistic that it mimics a soldier’s detachment from killing. It’s strange then that the game, for all its incessant specificity, sends the player to kill Arab soldiers in “the Middle East”, and not an actual nation. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare has sold over seven million copies in a war-weary United States in under a year. Am I the only one who finds this sort of depersonalization unsettling? — JC

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  • The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial, Part 1

    Games have been raising hackles since their inception. Howell Ivy kick-started gaming and controversy’s relationship when he designed Death Race in 1976, a simple black and white game that was, well, about running people over for points. That was enough to get America riled up, prompting 60 Minutes to run the first of many, many televised news stories about the psychological effects of gaming. But public outrage is unpredictable. Politicians and parent groups have been shocked by d-list titles like Manhunt and Night Trap while more popular, widely played games with far more inflammatory content have passed by unnoted. Today, 61 Frames Per Second presents The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial. A number of these are games that we are surprised did not cause uproar in a number of communities. The rest are games that we ourselves find seriously questionable in content. How do you feel about these videogames? Indifferent? Appalled? Leave a comment and let us know. — John Constantine

    NARC



    I don't know about you, but I have at least a couple of friends who have occasionally sold drugs. They're pretty lucky they grew up in the relatively permissive '90s, and not in the merciless, Reaganite '80s presented in NARC. Sure, NARC gives you bonus points for arresting dealers instead of killing them, but that's because it's almost impossible to do. Far easier is just perforating them on the spot. As my fellow blogger Cole notes, "I guess dismembering hundreds is okay if they're pushin'." In fact, there was some parental outrage over NARC's unprecedented level of gore, but its moral assumptions went pretty much unchallenged. — Peter Smith

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  • about the blogger

    John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

    Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

    Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

    Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

    Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

    Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

    Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

    Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


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