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  • Sonic Unleashed is Filled With Lies

    This is a lie: “Sonic is all about speed. Without it, he is not Sonic. So we needed to put absolute priority on the sense of speed.” – Yoshihisa Hashimoto, Project Lead, Game Director, and Lead Game Designer on Sonic Unleashed

    This is also a lie: “Yes, I think this will be the game Sonic fans have been waiting for. Sonic will be reborn in the state he always should have existed in with a new control scheme, fresh new gameplay elements, all while simultaneously returning to Sonic’s roots.” – Yoshihisa Hashimoto

    Yes, Sega has pulled quite the switcheroo with Sonic Unleashed. The very first screens and video that leaked last spring showed only the gorgeous 2D/3D platforming levels in Sonic Unleashed and, since then, Sega has placed all emphasis on these portions in their promotion. It’s classic Sonic play in 3D! It’s a return to Sonic’s roots! It’s what people want in their Sonic games! Even just two months ago, when I sat down to demo the game, I was allowed to watch and play a number of Unleashed’s platforming levels. But only a portion of one werehog brawler level was shown and I wasn’t allowed to play that. Wasn’t ready, they said. Based on what I played then, Unleashed really was the perfect 3D Sonic. It was fast, gorgeous, and you actually had to play the game; pressing right to sprint through Unleashed’s pan-continental levels wasn’t enough to win.

    Well, I finally sat down with the finished version of Sonic Unleashed last night. Turns out Yoshihisa Hashimoto is big liar. He lies to people. He obscures the truth behind honeyed words. He is not a nice man.

    Read More...


  • Sonic: Nope, Still Not Into You

    A while back, I blogged about how my personal problems with Sonic the Hedgehog were keeping me from enjoying his supposedly "good" games.  I didn't have time to play much over my admittedly short and action-packed Thanksgiving break, but I was able to test out my Sonic Hatred Hypothesis on what's supposed to be one of the best installments the series has seen in years: Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood.  This game held quite a bit of promise for the simple reason that it was an RPG that Sonic Team didn't touch with their dirty, dirty hands.  And 1UP.com's review even gave it an A!

    But still, that fundamental hatred for Sonic and His Shitty Friends goes a long, looong way.

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  • Sonic Unleashed's Silver Lining

    The reviews for Sonic Unleashed are out, and they ain't pretty.  It seems that the enthusiast press is showing a lot more skepticism about all of the recent hedgehog reboots, too; Sega's claim of "This time we did it, guys!" has been used so many times that I honestly can't see what angle they're going to approach the next Sonic game from.  Really, the only way that they could save face would be to include a formal apology signed by every member of Sonic Team and a crisp, new one-hundred dollar bill inside every copy of Sonic 2: Unleashed Further.

    But recently, a magical thing happened: something of moderate to good quality related to Sonic the Hedgehog has been released to the public.  Obviously, this is big news.  The item in question, Night of the Werehog, is an animated short which I assume was made to promote Unleashed.  This CGI cartoon may star a character I've grown to hate and a new character I hated immediately, but it's also cute, clever, and, most importantly, tells an interesting story without a single line of dialogue.  We can only hope Sonic Team can learn from this:

    Read More...


  • Fandom: Gone to the Movies



    Video game fans are something else. I've been a gamer since forever but despite my long term interest in the industry, I'm simply not at the level of people who create self playing Mario levels or sprite based Flash movies. These are the super fans who have talent (and a lot of time) on their hands and aren't afraid to use their powers for the forces of geekiness.

    Today I simply must pay homage to the creation of one “Alvin Earthworm” who has brought us Super Mario Bros. Z.

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  • Quality? Not For You, America

    Yesterday, i gave pure evil the benefit of the doubt and claimed that Sonic Unleashed might not be completely disappointing. Soon after making that post, I found out some disturbing news: we (meaning all of you proud, patriotic Americans out there) are getting an inferior version of a game that promises to at least be better than airborne, infectious cancer. According to Wired's Game|Life:

    Sega has announced that the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 versions of Sonic Unleashed in Japan -- where it's known as Sonic World Adventure -- are getting pushed back from their original December 18 release date to the nebulous "spring 2009."

    The move doesn't affect the Wii version -- still set for December 18 -- and the only reasons stated for the delay are to "further enhance the content" and "improve the quality" of the title.

    The North American Xbox 360 version of
    Unleashed is set to come out November 24, and Sega's US site for the game has no mention of any delays.

    The transparency of quotes like "further enhance the content" and "improve the quality" are pretty astounding.  Where was Sega's PR department, whose job is to turn blunt statements like these into easy-to-swallow lies?  You know, stuff like "Our computers ran out of blue" and "We need to stock up on more RAMs."  Right now, Sega's statements are implicitly stating that there will be a lack of both content and quality in the American version of Unleashed, and that ain't good.  It's not uncommon to see a refined edition of a game come out later in Japan and never make it to the States--like Final Fantasy XII International Zodiac Job System--but this is just some straight-up Sega dumbness.

    Sega, we all want to like Sonic again. Why won't you let us?

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  • New Sonic Game Looking Strangely Tolerable

    I know, I know; Sega's been using the marketing ploy of "This time we didn't fuck up!" for over half a decade now. But there's something strangely compelling about this new footage of Sonic Unleashed I recently scrounged up from YouTube. Many of the franchise's problems still exist in Unleashed, but the game play looks refreshingly traditional. Check it out:



    The clip starts out with a less-than-promising addition: a new shitty friend for Sonic who goes by the name of Chip. There's also about two minutes of cutscenes, when all we really need are two sentences: "You are Sonic. Go fast."  But the game play--which resembles the best parts of Sonic Adventure 1 and 2--looks okay, even if it does feature the same sort of cruise control action that's been attached to Sonic since the Dreamcast days.  I've always been under the impression that Sonic needs a complete overhaul; his simple transition from 2D to 3D produced a rather empty series of games that don't require much input from the player.  But still, we takes what we can gets, and Sonic Unleashed could be much worse.

    Of course, I'm going to hold my tongue until the game actually comes out--I won't exactly be surprised if Unleashed needlessly includes multiple game genres and interminable stories about inter-species love. But at least we know that they've gotten one level right! That's all the congratulation my healthy sense of skepticism will allow.

    Related Links:

    Sonic Bound: After Three Botched Reboots, Sonic the Hedgehog May Finally Get His 3D Due
    The Aberration of Sonic
    Sonic's Lost Innocence...Sort Of.

    Read More...


  • Game Compilations: The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly

    Time was, I thought game compilations, museum, and anniversary collections, and anything else you’d want to call them were the cat’s meow. Greatest thing since sliced bread. The *ahem* tits. Then The Mega Man Anniversary Collection for Gamecube came out back in 2004. Fifty simoleons for all eight console Mega Man games plus an opportunity to finally play Mega Man: The Power Battle and Power Fighters? Sounds like a dream come true. Then I found out that instead of the A button making the little blue fella shoot and the B button making him jump, the buttons were reversed for the compilation. There is no way to change this control scheme. It turns playing Mega Man 1 through 6 into a personalized hell, the place where cheat code users go when they die. Compilations are dangerous business because, more often than not, the publisher puts no effort whatsoever into them and people buy them anyway. That’s how you end up with Mega Man’s jumping and shooting getting reversed, how Sega releases not one, but two Sonic the Hedgehog collections with fantastic unlockables that are almost impossible to unlock, and how Namco can release the same damn Galaga/Dig Dug/Pac-man collection nine-hundred times.

    Of course, they really can be a treat. Despite all the load times and inaccessible unlockables, the Sonic Mega Collection is still a great way to play Sonic at his best. Occasionally, budget numbers like the Capcom Classics Mini Mix, a no-frills GBA collection with Bionic Commando NES, Strider NES, and Mighty Final Fight, can come along and introduce you to games you’ve never ever heard of. (Seriously, Mighty Final Fight? When did that happen? It’s got mini Haggar!) They are a more palatable alternative to Virtual Console-style downloads too, as far as price is concerned. Sega’s just-announced Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection for PS3 and Xbox 360 comes with forty games, and for thirty bucks you get what Nintendo would charge $120 for on Wii. Plus, they wouldn’t even all fit on the Wii’s memory! But again, the production values are highly questionable.

    Read More...


  • You’re Doing Great, Sega: Space Harrier Returns



    Space Harrier, unlike a lot of Sega’s other arcade games in the mid-80s, was a little light on challenging play. Your little blonde dude and his huge gun flew across the seemingly endless surface of The Fantasy Zone, shooting all kinds of dragons and cycloptic wooly mammoths, but it never quite felt like anything you did had a physical impact on the world. Things exploded when you shot near them but it didn’t ever feel like you were actually causing it to happen. But Yu Suzuki’s debut game stands out in history because it was, and is, staggeringly beautiful. Its scaling sprite graphics were an important landmark on the road to making lush three-dimensional – not true 3D mind you, but close – game worlds. Harrier’s Fantasy Zone is as bizarre and unique a visual space as anything else that came out of Sega (arguably even stranger and more fully realized than Opa Opa’s Fantasy Zone.) It also had some of the most hilarious voiceovers in a game. One of my earliest gaming memories is of a Space Harrier machine repeatedly yelling, “You’re doing great!” in the corner of a Pizza-Hut. It made me laugh so hard, Pepsi came out my nose, and everyone knows that the true test of comedy is whether or not it can make you leak fluid.

    It’s strange then, considering Sega’s recent penchant for resurrecting their iconic franchises, that Space Harrier has remained untouched for twenty years. The only sign of the series since 1988 was Sega’s arcade shooter Planet Harrier in 2001, an obvious spiritual successor but still not a proper Space Harrier 3. If Tez Okana has his way, Space Harrier won’t stay unloved for long.

    Read More...


  • The Aberration of Sonic

    Yesterday, Derrick brought us The Joy of Sonic as assembled by Docfuture, the Internet's premiere professional Let's Play putter-togehter. Docfuture's playthrough of the original Sonic the Hedgehog is a relaxing video that comforts us like a blanket on a rainy day. Through Doc's mellow voice, we are assured all of us, even the furious Sonic, needs to take it easy sometimes. At the same time, it's good to feel strong sometimes. On occassion, we must gain invincibility, don a blaze of sparkles and plow through the things in our life that pee streams of negative energy in our pomegranate smoothies.

    Feeling relaxed and empowered? Then you're ready to travel through Docfuture's follow-up project: Let's Play Sonic 2: Special Edition.

    Sonic 2: Special Edition is a barely known (and, as some portions of this Let's Play will indicate, barely finished) 32X/Sega CD re-creation of the Genesis' beloved Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Few mortals have seen it, but we are blessed because Docfuture's father nabbed the prototype when he worked at Nintendo. The game did make an appearance on an episode Nick Arcade, where a little pigtailed girl lost the challenge to beat Robotnik within thirty seconds accompanied by Dragonforce music that wouldn't come into existence for something like another six years.

    Read More...


  • The Joy of Sonic

    Is there anything more beautiful than the ironic juxtaposition of disparate pop culture icons? No, I didn't think so.

    So what happens when we take the original Sonic The Hedgehog, a game marketed as being fast, loud, and extreme, and present it in a manner not at all unlike Bob Ross's internationally syndicated and universally peace-inducing The Joy of Painting? Why, this video is what happens, of course...

    Read More...


  • Sega "Gets" the Wii

    As previously stated, the Nintendo Wii is just about two years old now, well enough into its life cycle to no longer forgive developers for unfamiliar hardware restrictions and lazy ports (yes, I'm looking at you, Harmonix and Rock Band). Most people still look at the Wii as home of the goofy mini-game collection despite its having also hosted some truly unique and wonderful unloved gems like EA's Boom Blox, Ubisoft's No More Heroes, Capcom's Zack & Wiki and THQ's de Blob. There is one major game publisher, though, who seems hard-pressed to make the Wii completely awesome with a wide range of aggressive titles, and that publisher is (believe it or not) Sega. That's right, longtime Nintendo rival Sega. Kinda makes you wonder why the Dreamcast flopped...

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  • For Love of the Game: Sonic 2 HD

     

    As I've said a number of annoying times, I've never cared much for ol' Sonic the Hedgehog, even in his beloved classic form. It's a design thing — I can tell you about any number of specific places in Mario, Zelda, Metroid and Mega Man levels, but Sonic levels seem to blur into a procession of the same compositional elements over and over. If you've seen one loop-the-loop, you've seen 'em all, especially when all it takes to get through them is holding right on the d-pad.

    One column in which Sonic cannot be faulted, however, is presentation. Graphics and music have always been the little blue shinbiter's strong suit.

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  • Have You Seen This XBox Game?

    The original XBox didn't exactly speak to my gaming tastes, so I honestly never had a reason to buy one. This lifestyle choice totally worked out for me, except for the few XBox exclusives that had no place on Microsoft's first console. Case in point: Jet Set Radio Future. I don't know what marketing wizards assumed XBox fanboys would be into such a colorful, thoroughly-Japanese vandalism sim, but they were obviously wrong; even when Microsoft started giving away the game for free (along with Sega GT), people still didn't want it. And I should know--I worked gaming retail at the time, and watched multiple copies of Future sit unloved on the shelf.

    So I never really got the chance to play Future as much as I should have; my time with the game was limited to the brief instances of in-store rebellion when I snuck the game into the demo kiosk at work. And I'm sure many Sega fans had the same experience; it was very strange to see the company's creative spirit trapped on the XBox, where it was barely appreciated by the crowd Microsoft was trying to cater to the most (fans of football and explosions). I always believed that Sega's XBox-exclusive games would have been most welcome by GameCube owners--and the company soon found this was true. For cryin' out loud, with Sonic Adventure DX, they were able to sell a Dreamcast launch game four years after the fact!

    Read More...


  • The Ten Greatest Ice Levels in Gaming History, part 3

    Donkey Kong Country – Snow Barrel Blast



    Donkey Kong Country isn’t the most fondly remembered SNES game out there. It was marketed to hell and back in 1994, its pre-rendered characters shoved down millions of gamers’ gullets as a final grasp at technological relevance before the dawn of 3D gaming’s rule. At heart, it’s a simplistic and fun platformer whose visuals have aged poorly. But certain stages in DKC still impress fourteen years later, thanks to a combination of inspired graphical presentation and deft sound arrangement. Snow Barrel Blast is the best DKC has to offer. An ice level that seems simple enough when Donkey and Diddy Kong emerge from an igloo at the start but soars when the sky starts to darken and the level goes from sunny winter landscape to brooding driving snow storm. It’s purely aesthetic, not informing the game’s basic platforming at all. But its beauty makes it the one thing memorable about DKC besides the hype. – JC

    Read More...


  • The Ten Greatest Ice Levels in Gaming History, part 2

    Lost Planet – The Whole Game



    Lost Planet, Keiji Inafune’s attempt to make Halo for Japan, is one of this console generation’s most underappreciated games. The shooting is tight, the levels are impeccably designed, the automated-grappling-hook platforming is neat, and the Starship Troopers-bug baddies are some of the cooler looking HD threats out there. Sure, it has some clunky parts, but the good far outweighs the bad. What’s more, the entire game is all about snow and ice. The initial stages, wandering the frozen wastes of E.D.N. III, are still jaw dropping. It isn’t even the swirling snow or the ice-bound cities; it’s the sound, the crunch, of stomping through snow drifts. My teeth grit just thinking about it. The snowy setting is also behind Lost Planet’s health system. Your health is constantly draining because of the cold, so you’re forced to constantly collect the body heat of felled foes. That is cooler than crawling inside a Taun-Taun. – JC

    Read More...


  • The Ten Greatest Ice Levels in Gaming History, part 1

    Autumn may only be a few weeks old, but, as it is with all seasons, you can feel its successor growing during the increasingly long nights. It’s getting cold and the chill has got us thinking about cool things, here at 61 Frames Per Second. As a result, we’re doing two things. One, we’re quoting Batman and Robin far more than we should. Two, we’re thinking about ice levels. Ice levels, like fire levels, refers to a theme more than a specific element. An ice level is more than ice. It’s freezing water, driving snow, strong wind, and grey skies. It’s gaming that makes you want to wrap up in a giant bearskin rug. Naked. Or not, to each their own. Here, we present to you, the top ten greatest ice levels in gaming history. – John Constantine

    Chrono Trigger – Death Peak


    *Spoilers. Big Ones.*



    The snow-capped peak is not an uncommon locale in role-playing games. You’ve been there before: there’s a giant monster, typically abominable, waiting for you at the summit, and the journey to him is guaranteed to entail solving an ice block puzzle or three. You are also guaranteed to find some convenient Ice Armor or even, if you’re lucky, a Fire Sword. Chrono Trigger’s Death Peak, the lone natural environment in the Lavos-ruined 2300 AD, is different. It is, ostensibly, optional. Like everything else in Trigger’s end game following the silent hero’s death, you can skip the mountain entirely, though ascending it is fundamental in reaching the plot’s true conclusion. Death Peak is the physical embodiment of everything at stake in Trigger’s conflict, a frozen place inhabited by stray creatures, cold, and Lavos’ offspring, growing fat on decay, waiting to leave the dead planet to claim others as their own. Its challenge is both environmental and emblematic: your surviving heroes must push against snow and wind, against nature, to both save the world and also their fallen friend. No boss waits at the pinnacle, just a dreary sky and a chance to use the Chrono Trigger itself. When Crono is resurrected, the wind and snow cease, the sun emerges from the clouds and is eclipsed. If you choose to see it, it is the turning point in the game, the moment hope overcomes despair. – JC

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  • Sonic's Lost Innocence...Sort Of.

     
    I'm not exaggerating when I say that 2006's Sonic the Hedgehog for the Xbox 360 remains one of the worst titles on the console. The game's release was a bad time for the Xbox 360, for Sega, Sonic and the idiots who believed in him (myself).

    The controls for the game are inexcusably atrocious, but it's not much of a loss anyway since the gameplay is as stale as last December's bread. More, people get squicked when they think of the implied romance between Sonic and Elise, a human princess who's literally pregnant with Mary Sue attributes. Doubtlessly the internet's automatic disdain for the furry culture has worn away at our tolerance, but even I have to say "Ewww." I do not envy the woman who has to give birth to spiky hedgehog-hybrids.

    As it happens, I can't fault Sonic Team for giving Sonic a human love interest. As it happens, he was always destined to make it with a homo sapiens. Just...not an underage one.

    Read More...


  • Sonic Bound: After Three Botched Reboots, Sonic the Hedgehog May Finally Get His 3D Due



    We wear our hearts on our sleeves here at 61 Frames Per Second. You may have noticed certain predilections that dominate our mutual attentions, loves and desires that may, when considered under the right conditions, call our journalistic integrity into question. We all love Mega Man. We yearn for the creations of a long dead corporation once known as Squaresoft. We burn incense at an 8 and 16-bit altar, muttering somber devotionals to the arcane arts of platforming, of acquiring power-ups from felled foes, while clutching frayed totems depicting our saints as well as our sinners. Some of us, and I won’t say who, like Bionic Commando too much. But there are other icons of gaming’s pantheon that I find us continuously, and inexplicably, returning to again and again. Why is it that 61FPS, as a collective, torrid consciousness, keeps discussing Sonic the Hedgehog? Especially considering the regular topic of discussion is how crap Sonic has become as a franchise?

    I suppose the answer is two fold. Once upon a time, Sonic the Hedgehog games were truly special. The original quintet of platformers, including Sonics 1 through 3, Sonic and Knuckles, and Sonic CD, were a legitimate paradigm shift for their genre and endure as eminently playable games today. But Sonic is also the poster child for brand dilution through over-saturation. Abused mascots like Mega Man, Spyro the Dragon, and Crash Bandicoot have nothing on good old Sonic; ten console titles in the main series, close to twenty spin-offs, and fifteen handheld titles, and all of them are, at best, inoffensively forgettable and, at worst, downright bad. To make matters much worse, the core Sonic series (the games Sega positions as flagship titles) has never successfully made the leap to three-dimensions. The Sonic Adventures, Sonic Heroes, and Sonic the Hedgehog ’06 failed as attempts at translating the Genesis titles’ frenetic platforming but further watered down the formula by not allowing Sonic to carry the games on his own (read: shitty friends.) It’s no wonder we’re fascinated by Sonic: he’s the fastest train wreck alive.

    Read More...


  • A Long-Scorned Sonic Fanfic Writer Seeks Redemption

    When my husband and I got married, his dowry was a box full of video game fanfiction he'd printed out in the olden days (1994 or so). It's far more valuable than you think. For one thing, it'll start some toasty fires when the oil situation inevitably leaves us freezing in the dark. More importantly, this box is a link to the past (sword stabs logo, screen flashes). It's a link to David Gonterman.

    See, fanfiction is not a new hobby that was nourished by the rise of Inuyasha. It's at least as ancient as the Bible and tales of King Arthur and Robin Hood. As long as people are pompous enough to say, "Holy crap, watch me do one better on the Word of God," fanfiction will thrive.

    In the mid-'90s, the Interwebs was little more than a collection of two-meg mud huts bordering a dark forest full of gibbering goblin .gifs, but even then we had our storytellers. In an age when Sonic the Hedgehog was still worth bowing to and not a stumbling franchise living solely on the love of its furry fanbase, we had fanfic writers dedicated to the hedgehog. And the most infamous one was David Gonterman, aka "Daveykins Foxfire."

    Read More...


  • Me VS. Blue Hedgehog



    Just yesterday Bob Mackey posted about his experiences with Sonic the Hedgehog. Naturally, this put me in mind of my own rather odd relationship with Sega's troubled mascot. Back in the days of the 16 bit wars I was deep in the Nintendo trenches, so anything that came from Sega was of the devil. Sonic was an enemy general to be assaulted on any playground where gamers collided in verbal combat. Okay, enough with the war analogies. After growing up and leaving my blind brand loyalties behind, I decided to try and like the guy. After all, with such a large fan following, Sonic games had to be pretty good right?

    Read More...


  • Sonic the Hedgehog: I'm Just Not that Into You

    Inexplicably, the top six-or-so titles on my GameFly queue were unavailable, so I was sent Sonic Rush for the DS--a game I had originally added back when I signed up for the service nearly three years ago.  Of all the recent Sonic the Hedgehog titles, the often-overlooked handheld games have been the least offensive--and dare I say, fun--extensions of the franchise, mainly because they're about Sonic running to the right, and have the good sense to not include sexual tension or political intrigue.

    So it's fair to say that nothing really offended me about Sonic Rush in the brief amount of time I tried it out, aside from the fact that Jet Set Radio composer/beatmaster Hideki Naganuma was apparently demoted to working on low-profile Sonic games. Seriously, the guy is awesome, and Sega needs to put him on as many projects as they can. Musical outrage aside, I wasn't exactly bored with Sonic Rush; in fact, I couldn't even muster up the motivation that boredom requires to exist. It seems that every Sonic game--no matter how high the quality--produces nothing but complete apathy in me, and I've been trying to find out why.

    Read More...


  • WTFriday: The Adventures of Sonichu

    Note to readers: WTFriday is a weekly feature where I find something stupid about video games and get you to laugh until it goes away. Please try to forget this is what I normally do every day of the week.

    What is it about Sonic the Hedgehog that naturally includes him in all aberrant online behavior? This is the question we will try to answer today as we explore the mind of a manchild and try not to get lost or sign up for DeviantART accounts.  The manchild in question goes by the hacker alias of "Sonichu;" and for a brief biography, I'll turn to our friends at the Internet's bullying headquarters, Encyclopedia Dramatica:

    Chris-chan (AKA: Sonichu, CWC, Christian Weston Chandler) is a self-proclaimed 26-year-old "high-functioning autistic" virgin man-child, and creator of his own awesomely drawn series of comics starring his brilliant crossover of Sonic and Pikachu. He is also incredibly arrogant, sexist, homophobic and racist. Despite being a complete loser, his standards for a "potential Sweetheart" are laughably high and specified. He is known to stereotype women, often thinking that they are unable to notice him at the mall because they are "too busy shopping".


    In case you couldn't tell, the rabbit hole on this one is pretty goddamned deep.  But all you need to know is that some well-meaning fans have transformed his semi-autobiographical stories into a full-fledged multimedia experience, much like how Ken Burns combined banjo music and a few pictures of the civil war and ended up with PBS gold.  Here's the first episode:



    More unmedicated fun after the cut.

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  • 9/9/99 9 Years Later

    Numerology fans take note; what was one purported to be the biggest day in entertainment history took place exactly 9 year ago. Plagiarism fans also take note: I got this idea from the latest episode of Retronauts.

    Yes, we're nearly a decade from the launch of Sega's little-console-that-could-but-didn't, and aside from making me feel incredibly old, this anniversary of sorts had me thinking about just where I was on 9/9/1999. My most distinct memory of that time period--which is mostly fuzzy and inexplicably filled with Pokemon--is being madly in love with a high school girl. Luckily for her, I was also in high school; but even with us having that much in common, it was never meant to be. So did I console myself by splurging and then weeping on Sega's newest system? Fittingly, Final Fantasy VIII absorbed most of my pain in telling the story of an emotional cripple that made me look much more stable by comparison.

    I eventually got a Dreamcast a whole year later, but my relationship with it was just as sordid and artificial as my high school fling. I used it.

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  • 16-bit Morals: Sonic Warns You About Uncle Ernie

    I watched video game-based cartoons for two reasons. First, it was something to fan my buzz when my parents made me turn off the Nintendo. Second, to feed the fanfic writer gestating inside me. I hoped that game cartoons would expand on the meagre stories games offered back then. I probably don't need to tell you that I was often disappointed. In the beginning, I actually believed that these cartoons were written by highly-paid enthusiasts who were bursting with their own ideas. I didn't think of them as desperate writers who recruited their nephews and nieces for crash courses in Mario lore (obvious exception: Bob Forward, who wrote the Legend of Zelda and Beast Wars). It didn't take long for the truth to hit me, and it wasn't the bad writing that betrayed these ladies and gentlemen. It was the kindergarten-level morals that got crammed into most episodes of most everything.

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  • Sonic is for Porn

    Dic's Saturday morning Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon--often referred to by its (very dedicated) fanbase as "SatAM"--remains an example of one of video gamedom's higher quality cartoon adaptations. The intro lives on in the hearts of our inner children. When we hear it, we recall our bowls of Trix and waking up before everyone else and oh my God, I can't even concieve of not sleeping in on a Saturday morning. Not even for Sonic.

    Most of us have grown up and become stale adults with worries about bills and running out of Dulcolax. Our tastes have changed as well; now instead of laughing along with Sesame Street, we laugh along with Avenue Q (maybe).

    Ah, but perverts may yet rejoice for this opportunity to recapture and distort their childhood. A thoughtful Sonic fan crossed Avenue Q's "The Internet is For Porn" with the animated cast of Sonic the Hedgehog. (Mildly NSFW.) Of course, every genius with free, spyware-laden editing software has crossed Avenue Q with every franchise ever (including your mom. Oh!--Zing!), but there's something very special about the obese Dr Robotnik bellowing "For porn!" Unfortunately, the image of Robotnik surfing the Internet for delights now hovers in my brain like a spectre.

    Someone get me a funnel and some lighter fluid.

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  • The Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix Soundtrack - An Inside Look

    In this exclusive follow-up to our interview with Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix soundtrack producers David "djpretzel" Lloyd and Larry "Liontamer" Oji, djpretzel himself gives us a breakdown of four tracks from the game:

    E. Honda 'Dosu-Koi'
    djpretzel




    "This was the track that I set my sights on early in the process. McVaffe has had an excellent mix of this track on OCR for a long while, modeled after Madonna's song 'Music,' but Capcom weren't feeling it for in-game usage, so I decided to take a shot.  My initial version was way too aggressive, and got the hundred-hand slapdown itself, but I went back to the drawing board and did something mellower, with more of an emphasis on Asian instrumentation.  There's shamisen, koto, shakuhachi, AND taiko in there, so it's got the 'big four' of Japanese instruments (more or less) and is more appropriate to the sumo bath house setting."

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  • 61FPS Q&A: David Lloyd and Larry Oji of OC ReMix on the Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix Soundtrack (Part 2)

    What are some of your favorite game soundtracks? Favorite composers?
    djpretzel: Yuzo Koshiro, Dave Wise, Yasunori Mitsuda, Tokuhiko Uwabo, and Koji Kondo are all amazing... Super Castlevania IV, Revenge of Shinobi, Lunar (Sega CD version!!), Chrono Trigger, Xenogears, Final Fantasy VI , Mega Man II, and Super Mario Galaxy are my favorite game scores at the moment.

    Larry Oji:
    Favorite soundtracks and composers tend to go hand in hand. I'm a big fan of Koji Kondo's work on the Super Mario series, Masato Nakamura's on the Sonic the Hedgehog series (Sonic 3 & Knuckles, though not his, was excellent too), Alph Lyra for the Street Fighter II series, David Wise for Donkey Kong Country and Battletoads, Kazunaka Yamane for the Double Dragon series, and Yuzo Koshiro for the Streets of Rage series. That covers a lot of the games I played as a kid. Since learning more about the history of game music, I love so much stuff now, I can't even rattle it off. But my second-favorite composer, little known in the States, is Yasuhisa "Yack" Watanabe. His stuff is a lot more known in Japan, including as a member of Taito's Zuntata group, but almost no one tries to arrange his material; it's pretty far out there, so I can understand why. Sometimes his stuff doesn't resonate with me, but he's put out some incredible compositions. Then my personal favorite is British composer Tim Follin, whose nearly two-decade career composing for games was unparalleled, as far as what I've personally enjoyed. Check out his compositions for Ghouls 'n Ghosts, Solstice, Spider-Man and the X-Men: Arcade's Revenge and Silver Surfer. He always strove for creative techniques and cool textures with his chiptunes. Plus, his modern soundtracks like Ecco the Dolphin: Defender of the Future and Lemmings for the PSP were equally impressive. I've been slowly plugging away at a small OC ReMix album project paying tribute to his work, so before the end of this year, Dirge for the Follin should finally be out there, lamenting the fact that he retired from the industry.

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