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  • Things that Make Me Swear Profusely: A Top 10 List - part 2



    In part 1, I listed a few game moments that furrowed my brow and set my teeth on edge, but we really don't see the old temper flare up until we hit the second half. Look away oh faint of heart and sound proof the walls. Now I start yelling.

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  • Things that Make Me Swear Profusely: A Top 10 List - part 1



    I love video games. If you're reading this you probably do too. And yet, even games I like often have parts that I hate. Parts that annoy and dissatisfy. Parts that disappoint. And parts that force my entire vocabulary of profane wordage to erupt involuntarily from my throat in blind rage.

    Starting with the mildest offenders and working our way up, let's see what sets me off.

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  • New Year's PS3 Wish List: part 2



    The first part of my list featured games that have already been released. I'll now end with some titles scheduled for release this year.

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  • New Year's PS3 Wish List: part 1



    I was planning on putting this up before the new year started but I had an end of the year computer melt down. Maybe I should add “get a new computer” to my resolution list. I have no idea if that'll happen but I do know what I'd like to pick up this year: a PS3. It took a long time, but Sony's expensive machine has accumulated enough of a library to interest me with quite a few more good looking titles set to come out this year. With high hopes that the PS3 will see another price drop, I present my list of PS3 gems, old and new, to snatch up in 2009.

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  • Some Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead of Working: Mother--Awwww...

    Mackey stole my big idea to declare Mother 3 one of my favourite games of the year--if not my very favourite of the year--despite it being a two-year-old Game Boy Advance title. I was going to be a rebel. I was going to spit out of the side of my mouth and tell you I don’t give a rat’s ass about your opinion on my taste in games, see?

    Oh well, it’s good to know that I’m not the only one who thinks Mother 3 deserves recognition amongst this year‘s shiny big-budget games. Mackey and I need to stop putting things off, get married and name our twins Lucas and Claus regardless of whether or not they’re male.

    All right, time to stop saying stupid things for the sake of being funny. I’m going to be serious and stupid, now. Mother 3 is the kind of game that reinforces my love for the pastime. When I finished it, I said, “God damn I am so glad I experienced that. I’m happy I’m a gamer.”

    Mackey and I already have about twenty thousand Mother 3 essays between us that covers everything from the game’s emotion-driven story to the rhythm based battle system that involves you in every fight; no more turbo-mashing the “A” button while simultaneously trying to please your girlfriend with the other hand.

    Mild spoilers follow the jump.

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  • My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Mother 3

    It's the end of another year, and that can only mean one thing: it's list season. Inevitably, you're going to see top ten lists by the thousands; and, as an official member of the enthusiast press, I'm afraid I can't violate my directive. But, to make things a little more interesting, I've decided to assemble my 10 favorite games of this year in non-hierarchical form because--let's face facts--it's hard to pick a favorite. And unlike other top 10 lists, this one will be doled out to you in piecemeal for--oh wait, we've reach the end of the list! Thanks for playing.



    I know, I know; Mother 3 didn't come out in 2008--its Japanese release date was April of 2006.  But none of that matters when you're a love-starved Earthbound fan looking for his next fix--and besides, who's writing this list, you or me?  Sorry for getting a bit emotional there, but I can't help it; Mother 3 is a game worth getting emotional about.  Finally getting a sequel to something you've loved for over thirteen years is a pretty monumental event, especially when said sequel doesn't pee all over what made its predecessor good in the first place.  Mother 3 may be tad different than Earthbound, but in keeping with the tradition of the series, it's completely unlike any game out there--despite being built on a very old, Dragon Quest-y foundation.  And thanks to the heroic efforts of Tomato and his translation team, Mother 3 might just be my favorite game of the year.  I now regret never ranking my list entries.

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  • My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Dragon Quest IV: Chapters of the Chosen

    It's the end of another year, and that can only mean one thing: it's list season. Inevitably, you're going to see top ten lists by the thousands; and, as an official member of the enthusiast press, I'm afraid I can't violate my directive. But, to make things a little more interesting, I've decided to assemble my 10 favorite games of this year in non-hierarchical form because--let's face facts--it's hard to pick a favorite. And unlike other top 10 lists, this one will be doled out to you in piecemeal over the next several excruciating days! Please enjoy.



    It seems that surprise has been a common factor in nearly all of my top ten of 2008 entries; with quite a few of the games that ended up as my favorites this year, I either didn't know what to expect, or I wasn't expecting much.  But the DS remake of Dragon Quest IV was a little different--after all, it was a Dragon Quest game, and those buggers are about as familiar as you can get.  Of course, I assumed the same thing of Square's Final Fantasy IV remake earlier in the summer, only to find the impressive technical improvements outweighed by a baffling new skill system and an unwarranted increase in difficulty.  Thankfully, Dragon Quest IV: Chapters of the Chosen took a markedly different path; instead of warping its gentle features into the twisted form of a more modern RPG, the Enix side of Square Enix (and I can only assume the company is run this way) decided to preserve the super-fast, super-addictive game play of the original title by sprucing up the graphics a tiny bit, and generally making the already-simple NES RPG even more user friendly than it was in 1990.

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  • Looking Ahead: 6 DS Games that I'm Looking Forward To in 2009.



    Yeah, this list didn't quite make it to 10. Maybe if I were more of a virtual pet fan I'd have had an easier time filling this list up. Talk about your over saturated genres, yeesh. I never even picked up Nintendogs. Well, without further ado, here are 6 upcoming DS games that I am interested in.

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  • My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Persona 3: FES

    It's the end of another year, and that can only mean one thing: it's list season. Inevitably, you're going to see top ten lists by the thousands; and, as an official member of the enthusiast press, I'm afraid I can't violate my directive. But, to make things a little more interesting, I've decided to assemble my 10 favorite games of this year in non-hierarchical form because--let's face facts--it's hard to pick a favorite. And unlike other top 10 lists, this one will be doled out to you in piecemeal over the next several excruciating days! Please enjoy.



    I really didn't know what to expect when I picked up Persona 3: FES; I was initially drawn to the game by its budget price of 30 bucks, and the fact that I was about to have a lot of free time on my hands.  My brief flirtations with the Shin Megami Tensei series usually ended in frustration--chalk that up to the fact that I only started messing around with the franchise with SMT: Nocturne, which was notoriously difficult.  But Persona 3 was a pleasant surprise, aside from its typically slow JRPG start where you're not actually allowed to do anything for several hours.  I wasted over 100 hours of my late spring/early summer 2008 time on this game, but that's really nothing to be ashamed of; Persona is a pretty good way to waste your life.

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  • Looking Ahead: 10 Wii Games that I'm Looking Forward To in 2009. part 2



    Everybody is making lists this time of year (and checking them twice) so I figured I'd get in on the act. While most of the lists I'm seeing pop up reflect on games of the past year, I figured I'd wish ya'll an early Happy New Year and knock off a couple lists of games I'm looking forward to in 2009.

    Continued from part 1...

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  • Looking Ahead: 10 Wii Games that I'm Looking Forward To in 2009. part 1



    Everybody is making lists this time of year (and checking them twice) so I figured I'd get in on the act. While most of the lists I'm seeing pop up reflect on games of the past year, I figured I'd wish ya'll an early Happy New Year and knock off a couple lists of games I'm looking forward to in 2009.

    In no particular order...

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  • Joe’s Top Ten Games of 2008 – Number One

    The official mandate has come down from the top—that it is December, and we all write about games, so we all have to pick some arbitrary number of them that we enjoyed above all others this year. I am taking on this task in the way of our forefathers, using their traditional number (10) and order (from great to most greatest). Games were chosen for this list using a highly scientific list of criteria, including but not limited to dopamine levels, blood alcohol content, tarot, and how badly I wanted a button making machine upon completion. This is my game of the year.

     



    1. The World Ends With You


    This one surprised me too, but the more I thought about it, the more I couldn’t justify not putting this vast, strange, innovative and compelling portable game at the top of my list. There’s a lot to think about here, so let’s dive right in.

    The World Ends With You is, at its heart, about cacophony. It’s about the cacophony of urban living—too many people, too many sounds, too many thoughts and banal life stories. It’s about the cacophony of capitalism—too many constantly swirling brands and fads, too many “friendships” borne purely of what you buy and what you own. It’s a game about surviving the barrage, about blocking out the white noise to find your own value in the meaninglessness.

    The story follows the meaning. It’s about a teenager who endures the constant assault on his senses by keeping it all out, and the strange, surreal events of a fatal game that forces him to confront and engage in life. But most interesting is that the mechanics of the game also follow along, and yet are somehow workable.

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  • My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

    It's the end of another year, and that can only mean one thing: it's list season. Inevitably, you're going to see top ten lists by the thousands; and, as an official member of the enthusiast press, I'm afraid I can't violate my directive. But, to make things a little more interesting, I've decided to assemble my 10 favorite games of this year in non-hierarchical form because--let's face facts--it's hard to pick a favorite. And unlike other top 10 lists, this one will be doled out to you in piecemeal over the next several excruciating days! Please enjoy.



    Back in early 2006, when I picked up the first DS Phoenix Wright, I really didn't know what I was getting into.  Sure, the novelty of the whole "lawyer sim" thing would've been enough to carry me through at least one game, but thankfully, Phoenix Wright was more than just a gimmick.  For nearly two years, I found myself wrapped up in the epic trilogy of Phoenix Wright (at around 15-20 hours' worth of reading in each one, they'd make J.K. Rowling balk) until its inevitable end in late 2007's Trials and Tribulations.  But after the wrapping up of Capcom's convoluted tale, I still wanted more--and after staring at the same dated sprites for three whole games, it was about time for a DS-developed lawyer quest, as Capcom had teased with the substantial bonus mission at the end of Ace Attorney.  Capcom eventually promised to grant nearly all of my wishes with a brand-new installment in their created genre, but I was a little skeptical that the replacement of protagonist Phoenix Wright with some new, young pup would sour me on the sequel.

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  • 10 Games Nadia Played in 2008 Instead of Working: Wii Fit

    I'm not speaking to Wii Fit today, as it told me I gained two pounds over the course of 24 hours. But Wii Fit has done so much for me, I can't stay mad at it forever.

    (Don't tell Wii Fit I said that. I want it to learn a lesson.)

    Of all the games I've played this year, I have to say that Wii Fit has captured most of my time. You might say, “Well, that's because it's a fitness game and you want to get fit, stupid.” So true, but think about it. Why do people turn their exercise bikes into towel racks by week three? Because there's little motivation to hop on the contraption. You can't feel your ass grow, so you don't have too many reasons to go through the tedium of a daily “ride.”

    Wii Fit combines three factors that keeps its faithful coming back for more: motivation (through a graph that traces your weight loss, or in my case, gain), variety and timed exercises. It's satisfying to see the minutes you spend on yoga, aerobics and muscle toning get added up in your little piggybank. After thirty minutes have been stored up, the little piggybank does a dance, signifying that you have exercised an adequate amount for the day and may reward yourself by stuffing a cheeseburger in your face.

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  • My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Fable 2

    It's the end of another year, and that can only mean one thing: it's list season. Inevitably, you're going to see top ten lists by the thousands; and, as an official member of the enthusiast press, I'm afraid I can't violate my directive. But, to make things a little more interesting, I've decided to assemble my 10 favorite games of this year in non-hierarchical form because--let's face facts--it's hard to pick a favorite. And unlike other top 10 lists, this one will be doled out to you in piecemeal over the next several excruciating days! Please enjoy.



    One of the major reasons Fable II surprised me with its greatness is that Lionhead's medieval sequel was completely off of my radar until I needed something to play in October.  Before that, the last time I had flirted with any of Peter Molyneux's creations was 1999's Dungeon Keeper II--and many would've agreed that was the perfect place to leave the ambitious developer behind.  But Fable II was a redemption for Molyneux, and one he desperately needed, at that; after nearly an entire decade of disappointments, gamers were getting less and less interested in the shit he'd been shoveling.  Thankfully, Fable II is remarkably less fecal than his 00 output--it's actually damned good.

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  • Joe’s Top Ten Games of 2008 – Part Three

    The official mandate has come down from the top—that it is December, and we all write about games, so we all have to pick some arbitrary number of them that we enjoyed above all others this year. I am taking on this task in the way of our forefathers, using their traditional number (10) and order (from great to most greatest). Games were chosen for this list using a highly scientific list of criteria, including but not limited to dopamine levels, blood alcohol content, darts, and how well the box art fit into my photo mosaic of Satoru Iwata. Today is #4-#2.

     


    4. No More Heroes

    I don’t think I’ve ever cackled with glee more often at a game than I have at No More Heroes. It’s the ultimate otaku fantasy simulator, and it revels in obsession and bombast. It’s also the ultimate otaku simulator, and it revels in loneliness and sociopathy. Were the clunky town-based elements a bad impersonation of western sandbox design, or a cynical elbow to the ribs of western sandbox design? Is it a legitimately great game or a bad game that’s ironically great, and could it somehow be both? And what was up with that real ending? For No More Heroes, a game that loves and hates itself in equal measure, these questions could be debated endlessly. The most outrageous game of the year, and the must-play of the last twelve months that most people didn’t.

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  • 10 Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead Of Working: Bionic Commando Rearmed

     

    Having grown up with two brothers and personally scoring somewhere in the negatives on the official Femininity Chart, you would think that Bionic Commando would have found its way into my Nintendo library somehow. Alas, no. Though I was always aware of Rad Spencer and his important contribution to history (making Hitler's head and secret headquarters EXPLOD), I didn't adopt any fondness for Bionic Commando until I watched my husband do a playthrough. My eyes followed that swaying red-headed soldier like a pendulum. Where do I sign up for the Bionic Harem?

    (And what did I just say about scoring in the negatives on the official Femininity Chart?)

    I tried to take control of Rad. When my attempts to make him swing out of the television screen and into my lap failed, I decided I'd at least try to get him through his no-jump adventure. I couldn't get through Area 01. It was an embarassing disaster and Hitler won. I figured Bionic Commando was simply something you had to be born into if you wanted to stand any chance of finishing it.

    Time went by, stealing a drop of my life with every tick, and there dawned an age (Now) wherein game developers learned the value of nostalgia. Remakes and revamps of old classics, they reasoned, would send twenty- and- thirty-somethings running to Playstation Network and Xbox Marketplace like sows to the trough. Indeed, we sucked it all down, but there's no shame in indulging in a high-quality remake like Bionic Commando Rearmed.

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  • Joe’s Top Ten Games of 2008 – Part Two

    The official mandate has come down from the top—that it is December, and we all write about games, so we all have to pick some arbitrary number of them that we enjoyed above all others this year. I am taking on this task in the way of our forefathers, using their traditional number (10) and order (from great to most greatest). Games were chosen for this list using a highly scientific list of criteria, including but not limited to dopamine levels, blood alcohol content, dice rolls, and the likelihood that the game contains secret spreadsheets full of crime. Today is #7-#5.

     


    7. Mirror’s Edge

    Mirror’s Edge isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but in terms of adding to the language of the medium it’s probably the most important of the year. Prior to Mirror’s Edge, first-person platforming pretty much didn’t work (Jumping Flash aside); now it does, and it does in a gripping way that ensures it will be badly copied by many first-person shooters to come. But the way the platforming was handled also, perhaps more than any other game ever, made the player feel like they were truly inhabiting the body of the protagonist. Mirror’s Edge has a moment, and only one, where the camera leaves the point of view of Faith. It’s the most powerful gaming moment of 2008.

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  • Joe’s Top Ten Games of 2008 – Part One

    The official mandate has come down from the top—that it is December, and we all write about games, so we all have to pick some arbitrary number of them that we enjoyed above all others this year. I am taking on this task in the way of our forefathers, using their traditional number (10) and order (from great to most greatest). Games were chosen for this list using a highly scientific list of criteria, including but not limited to dopamine levels, blood alcohol content, coin flips, and the rate at which the number of in-game explosions approached infinity. Today is #10-#8.

     


    10. Fable 2

    I played Fable 2 during a two-week period in which I saw some significant real-life difficulties, so the game’s emotional moments, being fiction, didn’t resonate as strongly with me as they did with others. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate the risks the game took or the choices it forced the player to make. Yet while it went further than most games, it still didn’t go far enough, with punishment for doing the right thing in the face of temptation still being too easy to make up for later. But the game play was there; Fable 2’s shallow but broad mechanics encouraged experimentation while making sure there was always something new to try.

     

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  • 10 Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead Of Working: The World Ends With You

    If my organs don't randomly decide to leap out my mouth and run down the street before I finish my Top Ten Games for 2008, you'll come to notice that I have a lot of Nintendo DS games put down as personal favourites. Could it be that I ride the subway often enough to feel like the kin of the Morlock? Mmmmmaybe.
     

     
    The World Ends With You was probably the nicest surprise of the year for me. I cared very little for the game when it was in its development stages: one gaggle of Kingdom Hearts fangirls is all it takes to forever spoil your appetite for Tetsuya Nomura.

    So when I accidentally found myself with the game for review purposes, I threw a sulk in the style of The World Ends With You's orange-haired protagonist. He even started the adventure with an inner monologue about how the world in general could descend into Hell for all he cared, waah waah, Linkin Park.

    I'm a sullen bitch who bites people on the ankle when they prove me wrong, but it was a joy to discover just how wrong I was about The World Ends With You.

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  • My Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order: Grand Theft Auto IV

    It's the end of another year, and that can only mean one thing: it's list season. Inevitably, you're going to see top ten lists by the thousands; and, as an official member of the enthusiast press, I'm afraid I can't violate my directive. But, to make things a little more interesting, I've decided to assemble my 10 favorite games of this year in non-hierarchical form because--let's face facts--it's hard to pick a favorite. And unlike other top 10 lists, this one will be doled out to you in piecemeal over the next several excruciating days! Please enjoy.


    While reading the latest GameSpite update, I couldn't help but nod my head in agreement at Spite King Jeremy Parish's trenchant comments on the modern gaming blockbuster.  Especially this:

    It makes me angry that reviewers actually called GTAIV's narrative "Oscar worthy," because (1) no, it really wasn't and you guys seriously need to go and watch a good movie, OK?; and (2) that kind of empty praise is just going to encourage Rockstar to keep focusing on the sloppy, poorly-written pulp noir aspects of their creations to the detriment of the part that actually makes GTA unique and fun: the gameplay.


    And yet, GTAIV still made it onto my favorite games of 2008 list.  Have I lost all credibility?  Did I ever have any?  Don't fret, dear reader; GTAIV is one of my favorite games of the year by virtue of that fact that it occupied so much of my carefree summer (god how I miss it).  When you make twenty attempts to beat a game's final mission, there's gotta be some love there, right?

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  • Joe’s Top Ten Games of 2008 – Special Jury Prizes

    The official mandate has come down from the top, as you have seen—that it is December, and we all write about games, so we all have to pick some arbitrary number of them that we enjoyed above all others this year. This is an arduous task that we have all figured out ways to cheat at, and I am no different. Though I will pick ten games, exactly, and present them in order from #10 to the best game of the year, I will not be starting that list today. Instead, here are my special jury prizes for the year. These games would have made it into my top twenty. They all did one or two things pretty well, and many deserve more recognition than they ended up getting.

     


    Best Games to get Your Girlfriend to Play GamesWii Fit and Echochrome: A tie here, for two otherwise incomparable games. Wii Fit is an obvious one, as it has been specifically targeted at women and is barely a game at all—it’s really just a charmingly presented tool. Echochrome is much more interesting, because it’s a gamer’s game through and through. Despite being maybe the most abstract game released this year, it’s actually surprisingly easy to get the layperson to understand it—“the M.C. Escher game” is a fully illuminating description that almost anyone is at least intrigued by. That both of these games were technically ambitious (Wii Fit in hardware, Echochrome in software) is not a coincidence, as this is the kind of lateral thinking that grows the scope of the medium.

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  • Derrick's Top 13 Games of 2008 - Part 2

    Missed part 1? Click here!

    9 - Space Invaders Extreme (DS/PSP):
    One of the most iconic arcade games of all time crossed its 30th anniversary this year, and to celebrate they reinvented the whole damn thing. We've seen this before, but Space Invaders Extreme was different. How? It was flippin' awesome this time. Bright colors and flashing lights, sound effects that sync with the club-ready music, new power-ups and new aggressive enemies, Space Invaders Extreme turned the arcade classic into an underground rave of interplanetary destruction. And, as I already said, its flippin' awesome. I prefer the DS version, but both are great, and for the bargain price of $19.99 there's really no reason not to pick up this addictive portable reimagining.

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  • 10 Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead Of Working: Super Smash Bros Brawl

    My games writing career saw a healthy boost in 2008. Ironic counter to my success: a subsequent decline in personal opportunities to sit back and play games for my own enjoyment.

    This is not a phenomenon exclusive to me. I often get hissing telephone calls in the dead of night from writers and editors at 1UP.com, IGN, Gamespot, etc: "One of ussss, one of ussss. Hey, have you played Fallout 3 yet? Didn't think sssssso."

    My obligatory "Best Of" list is a little malnourished as a result. I had a lot of review titles shoved down my throat and now my liver is a quivering, delicious mass. I mean, nothing was wrong with Ninja Reflex DS, but--yeah, I'll stop here (it did get me through a long wait at the passport office).

    Still, it's not like my favourite hobby has transformed entirely into stylus-poking drudgery. I still had some good times.


    There is a story behind my acquisition of Super Smash Bros Brawl. It involves the worst winter I've ever experienced and the worst snowstorm that capped that worst winter. I smashed, so to speak, through some belly-high drifts just to attend the game's damnable midnight launch. I'm too old and crotchety for midnight launches in the best weather; rest assured it was all my husband's idea.

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  • about the blogger

    John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself.

    Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.

    Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.

    Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines. Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.

    Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.

    Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.

    Cole Stryker is an American freelance writer living in York, England, where he resides with his archeologist wife. He writes for a travel company by day and argues about pop culture on the internet by night. Find him writing regularly here and here.

    Peter Smith is like the lead character of Irwin Shaw's The 80-Yard Run, except less athletic. He considers himself very lucky to have this job. But it's a little premature to take "jack-off of all trades" off his resume. Besides writing, travelling, and painting houses, Pete plays guitar in a rock trio called The Aye-Ayes. He calls them a 'power pop' band, but they generally sound more like Motorhead on a drinking binge.


    Send tips to 61fps@nerve.com