61 Frames Per Second

Browse by Tags

• Virtual Console New Year's Resolutions

  Inevitably, any post you read anywhere about Virtual Console releases is going to contain some passive-aggressive bitching about what's still not available on Nintendo's digital download service. But I'm not saying that I don't do it, or that it's not undeserved; we're currently in the third year of weekly releases, and there are still some pretty big gaps in the Virtual Console library. So, as a public service to Nintendo, I've decided to offer some suggestions for titles we definitely want to see released on the Virtual Console in 2009; for my sake, consider them New Year's Resolutions.  It was the easiest framing device to come up with for this concept. The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask - The much-maligned Majora's Mask is the bastard son of the Legend of Zelda franchise; released just when PS2 fever was at its most insane levels, this installment in one of Nintendo's most-beloved series left a bad taste in the mouths of gamers who really just wanted to play more Ocarina of Time.  But those who were so quick to judge the time mechanic and oppressive atmosphere of Majora's didn't stick around to find out that it was just the kind of shake-up the Zelda series needed.  So far, the only way to play it on the Wii is through a buggy Zelda collection disc bundled with GameCubes circa 2003; and really, I think it's time for a modern audience to get their mitts on this game. Read More... Posted Jan 06 2009, 04:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: wii, castlevania 3, earthbound, bob mackey, virtual console, majora’s mask, super punch out

• Boogerman: Too Immature for Children

  Yesterday's Virtual console release of the Genesis Boogerman was more than a little odd, mainly because everyone knows that the SNES version is the definitive Boogerman experience. No, wait. Yesterday's Virtual Console release of Boogerman was more than a little odd because it's hard to believe that Nintendo would ever admit this game existed--which may be why they chose to give us the Genesis version. I'd be willing to go on with the standard course of Virtual Console bitching--like how we still don't have Yoshi's Island--but Nintendo's holiday Wii offerings are so meager that I imagine they'll have to find some way of entertaining us this Christmas. I hope. But what is there to be said about a game whose very concept should have been buried in the desert along with all of those infamous E.T. cartridges?  I was 12 when Boogerman came out, which put me right in the game's "immature adolescent" demographic.  But seeing the game (unrented) at my local video store usually filled me with a mix of sadness and shame I have since dubbed "boogermania;" and this really had nothing to do with the fact that I've always had the mentality of a 48 year-old curmudgeon.  There was just something about a corporate-sponsored video game capitalizing on the simple joys of toilet humor that really rubbed me the wrong way.  And even at a young age, I could tell when a concept was just trying waaay too hard. Read More... Posted Nov 25 2008, 11:00 AM by Bob Mackey with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: wii, katamari damacy, interplay, virtual console, grimm, boogerman

• Game Compilations: The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly

  Time was, I thought game compilations, museum, and anniversary collections, and anything else you’d want to call them were the cat’s meow. Greatest thing since sliced bread. The *ahem* tits. Then The Mega Man Anniversary Collection for Gamecube came out back in 2004. Fifty simoleons for all eight console Mega Man games plus an opportunity to finally play Mega Man: The Power Battle and Power Fighters? Sounds like a dream come true. Then I found out that instead of the A button making the little blue fella shoot and the B button making him jump, the buttons were reversed for the compilation. There is no way to change this control scheme. It turns playing Mega Man 1 through 6 into a personalized hell, the place where cheat code users go when they die. Compilations are dangerous business because, more often than not, the publisher puts no effort whatsoever into them and people buy them anyway. That’s how you end up with Mega Man’s jumping and shooting getting reversed, how Sega releases not one, but two Sonic the Hedgehog collections with fantastic unlockables that are almost impossible to unlock, and how Namco can release the same damn Galaga/Dig Dug/Pac-man collection nine-hundred times. Of course, they really can be a treat. Despite all the load times and inaccessible unlockables, the Sonic Mega Collection is still a great way to play Sonic at his best. Occasionally, budget numbers like the Capcom Classics Mini Mix, a no-frills GBA collection with Bionic Commando NES, Strider NES, and Mighty Final Fight, can come along and introduce you to games you’ve never ever heard of. (Seriously, Mighty Final Fight? When did that happen? It’s got mini Haggar!) They are a more palatable alternative to Virtual Console-style downloads too, as far as price is concerned. Sega’s just-announced Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection for PS3 and Xbox 360 comes with forty games, and for thirty bucks you get what Nintendo would charge $120 for on Wii. Plus, they wouldn’t even all fit on the Wii’s memory! But again, the production values are highly questionable. Read More... Posted Nov 06 2008, 05:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, pac-man, street fighter, capcom, bionic commando, nes, sega, mega man, sonic the hedgehog, strider, mighty final fight, game boy advance, virtual console, dig dug, Capcom classics collection, Capcom mini mix, galaga

• Remembering Earthworm Jim

  Once again, the Wii's Virtual Console has yet another game worth playing--and remembering--with this Monday's release of Earthworm Jim. I'm a little bummed that Nintendo's Virtual Console Superlabs (AKA a dartboard) decided to release the Genesis version over the superior SNES one; there may be an extra level, but the lack of colors and a decent sound chip kinda poos all over what's supposed to be a high-fidelity 2D experience. And make no mistake; EWJ is still a pretty game--especially considering what developer Shiny put out when they moved to 3D graphics in the late 90s. But before their fall from grace, Shiny was pretty respected; and the first two Earthworm Jim games were the reasons why. The sense of humor the games carried--while nothing new to the PC gamer of the mid-90s--was certainly fresh, even if some of the gameplay wasn't. If you had played any other Dave Perry-developed game before Jim, like Cool Spot or the completely overrated Genesis version of Aladdin, you're bound to notice a few similarities. All of Perry's 2D games have this sort of Bubsy-esque floatyness to them, and an overall cheapness that's masked by the amount of animation given to all the sprites--which was quite amazing in a pre-Metal Slug world.  For all of the care put into the visuals, though, both Jim games suffer from being terribly unbalanced from stage to stage.  It wasn't until I got a level select code that I was actually able to enjoy either game. Read More... Posted Oct 28 2008, 01:30 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: wii, earthworm jim, bob mackey, virtual console, dave perry, shiny

• Secret of Mana is Bug-Tastic

  If you're like me, then you're probably playing Monday's Virtual Console release of Secret of Mana. The only excuse I'll accept is massive head trauma--and we're talking brains-leaking-from-a-gaping-wound trauma. That's the only way you can explain not playing Secret of Mana for the low, low price of eight bucks. Why, in 1993 I had to do some hardcore begging to get my parents to drop 60 dollars on this game, and that's back when American money had value! But I digress. After playing Secret of Mana, you've probably recognized two distinct facts: 1.) The game is awesome as hell, and 2.) It's also buggy as all get-out. I've never been privy to any real game-destroying antics, but the general weird glitchyness of Secret of Mana always made the game feel like its programming was held together by bubble gum and string. We can't exactly blame Square's Iranian super-programmer Nasir Gebelli, though; while originally designed to take advantage of the doomed SNES CD add-on (which eventually became the Playstation), Secret of Mana was hastily transformed into a regular-old SNES game once Nintendo washed their hands of CD-ROM technology. This change left some unfortunate problems in its wake. Read More... Posted Oct 15 2008, 08:30 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: wii, rpg, square, bob mackey, virtual console, secret of mana, glitches

• Time For Terranigma! Right?

  Friends, join me in a round of "Let's Push Our Effin' Luck." The Virtual Console has done such a good job at not sucking for the past few weeks that it's only natural for me to raise my hopes and watch them get sheared. So, Nintendo. Square-Enix. Everyone. Time to stop starting and stopping like a nervous thoroughbred. It's time for commitment. It's time for Terranigma. When you were young, you probably played Soulblazer and/or Illusion of Gaia on the Super Nintendo. Both games provided Zelda-flavoured adventures that were nevertheless unique. Illusion of Gaia in particular still stands out in my mind for its mild hero, Will, a boy with telepathic powers who must jump-start Earth's stagnant evolution. Terranigma actually preceds Will's journey and Soulblazer story-wise, casting the player as Ark. Ark is cast out of his Eden-like villiage and tasked with beginning the very evolution that Will is later called upon to re-direct. Terranigma plays similarly to Illusion of Gaia, but it might seem unfamiliar because it never made it to North America. It did, however, see a release in Europe. So there's the beauty part: Terranigma already has an English translation waiting patiently for us. Read More... Posted Oct 14 2008, 06:54 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: square-enix, retro, super nintendo, 16-bit, nadia oxford, virtual console, terranigma, illusion of gaia, soulblazer

• Virtual Console: Now the Best Thing Ever

  Remember back when the Virtual Console sucked? Of course you do; it was just this past summer. During those hot, boring months, I sat on about 2000 Wii Points; hope soon became a forgotten concept as Nintendo slowly trickled out games I've never given a damn about. By the time August rolled around, I was half-expecting to see a Virtual Console Monday featuring the Sega Genesis version of Chuck Rock along with a free Wii screen saver that would scroll the words "KILL YOURSELF" across the screen if you left the Wii-mote idle for more than 20 minutes. But since the beginning of Fall, Nintendo's really gotten their Virtual Console shit together; and today's release of both Secret of Mana and World of Goo is proof of that. Sure, I'm in the dead center of a semester that's left me so haggard I can barely type this post without using my keyboard as a makeshift pillow, but... Secret of Mana. Read More... Posted Oct 13 2008, 08:45 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: wii, world of goo, square, bob mackey, virtual console, secret of mana

• Reminder: Shining Force is Awesome

  It may be relatively unknown, but Sega's Shining series has been pretty prolific since its 1991 debut; the little research I've done tells me that there have been 16 games in the franchise--though it's important to note that anything Shining started to suck around 1997 or so.  The loss of developer Camelot Software Planning, combined with Sega's general financial failure, caused the Shining name to be repeatedly exploited in games that had absolutely nothing to do with the series' S-RPG roots.  To be fair, Camelot didn't always have the Midas touch when it came to the Shining series--see aberrations like Shining Wisdom--but Sega and its development teams seem committed to slapping the Shining name on everything but strategy RPGs.  And that's a damn shame. Now that Camelot has been exclusively pumping out Nintendo sports games, all we are left with are memories, and the weeks Nintendo decides to release good things on Virtual Console Mondays.  This happens to be one of those weeks, what with Shining Force II hitting the Virtual Console today.  Now we can rest assured that our memories haven't lied to us; Shining Force is awesome!  Now let's just be glad that Camelot decided to let the interminable Golden Sun series die, lest their reputation be damaged. Read More... Posted Oct 06 2008, 09:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: wii, sega, bob mackey, virtual console, shining force

• What I'm Playing This Weekend: Super Mario Bros 3

  And I mean the original Super Mario Bros 3, babes. Well, as "original" as a Virtual Console title gets. I doubt I'll be playing for long. My husband and I have been going through the game level by level--no warping, of course--in a two-player game and making stupid remarks and now we're in Bowser's domain. Most of the stupid remarks are mine and go back to the days when I used to play with my brothers. My husband was a single child and I think he missed out on a special kind of chemistry that only two genetically-similar kids can provide when they're plopped in front of the television. For instance, every single time I go into a Toad House while donning a raccoon tail, I select a box by pressing A and B together. If I'm lucky, Mario's gorgeous butt will face us and I can say, "Ha ha, he's peeing!" It never gets old. At least I don't think so. Read More... Posted Sep 12 2008, 09:58 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: wii, super mario bros 3, mario, super mario advance 4, nostalgia, virtual console, 8-bit nadia oxford, super mario all stars

• Ten Reasons Why Secret of Mana Sucks

  Caution: Humor and Satire Within. I want to make two things abundantly clear. I love Super Nintendo-era Squaresoft. I love those games with a ferocious passion that transcends nostalgia. I am not being cute or silly when I say that Chrono Trigger changed my life. It did. Had I not played that game for the first time in December of 1996, I would have never kept writing, would have never been listening to the soundtrack which led to my getting up the courage to making a move on my first serious girlfriend, and a number of other causal ripples coming out of that formative experience. I also want to make it abundantly clear that I have very little time for baseless hating on anything, whether it be a human being, a flavor of lollipop, a book, or videogame. That said, Secret of Mana sucks and I hate it. I have tried. Lord knows I have tried to play, to beat, and to love that game. I have tried so damn hard. But the truth is inescapable. It sucks and it will always suck. Here’s why! Read More... Posted Sep 12 2008, 02:00 PM by John Constantine with | with 6 comment(s) Filed under: john constantine, top ten, chrono trigger, square-enix, virtual console, secret of mana

• Flying Gay Men Invade Virtual Console!

  The Cho Aniki series of aggressively-gay horizontal shooters has always been easy joke fodder; for about three or four years in a row, a Cho Aniki screenshot/caption tag-team appeared in nearly every issue of EGM. Through the march of time, Boong-Ga Boong-Ga has since replaced Cho Aniki in the "Oh, those wacky foreigners" category, but we've never been graced with an American release of any Cho Aniki game...until today. The VC still lack Earthbound, Majora's Mask, and Yoshi's Island, but today Nintendo decided to rectify the dearth of TG-16 shmups on their digital download service by releasing the first Cho Aniki game. I can't tell you if it's good or bad, but I can tell you that it's weird. Everything I know about the Japanese view of homosexuality is based on portrayals of gays in Japanese media, which boils down to the stereotype of male homosexuals being buff bodybuilders (with a surprising lack of mustache), and that the mere presense of gays is a joke in and of itself. A still image of Will and Grace would probably be considered the height of humor in Japan. Read More... Posted Sep 08 2008, 04:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: wii, bob mackey, virtual console, homosexuality, shmups, cho aniki

• The Dividing RPG: Secret of Mana

  Squaresoft's Secret of Mana will be coming to Virtual Console this September, probably as Seiken Densetsu 2. It's probably a good thing Square-Enix didn't try to reshuffle the Mana titles when they came to America. Re-numbering Final Fantasy already requires more math than I want to do outside a school setting. (Yes, I was a dunce, and I still am according to expert testimony.) Secret of Mana's VC revival got people a-muttering on message boards and IRC. And I was shocked and appalled to learn that there are people out there who care not for Randi's pastel-coloured adventure to find a giant tree. They called it dated. They called it boring. They called it buggy, and "buggy" is actually being generous. By all programming logic, every copy of Secret of Mana should have imploded on the store shelves. I might be biased. Secret of Mana was my first RPG outside of the Dragon Warrior/DragonQuest series, so it wasn't too hard for me to be blown away by the harrowing story of an orphan who was fathered by a sword. Read More... Posted Sep 02 2008, 04:00 PM by Nadia Oxford with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: snes, rpg, japan, square-enix, 16-bit, nostalgia, nadia oxford, virtual console, computer ai, seiken densetsu 3, seiken densetsu 2, secret of mana

• Sweet Sassy Molassey! Super Mario RPG on the Virtual Console

  It always sucks to hear what other countries are getting in their respective digital download marketplaces, because America tends to get the shaft. A typical scenario: "Hey, look: the Japanese Playstation Store got Metal Gear Solid and Einhander! What's new for the US this week? Blasto." *sound of gun being cocked* But someone, somewhere, must have taken pity on the puny American dollar, because Super Mario RPG--a game that was released elsewhere earlier in the summer--is now available for download on the Wii's Virtual Console. This is big news, because A.) Super Mario RPG is the most "important" game to come out for the VC since god knows when, and B.) hells yes it is worth buying. Read More... Posted Sep 02 2008, 03:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: wii, square, bob mackey, virtual console, super mario, super mario rpg

• I Wish I Had Bought Tetrisphere.

  Tetris, who isn't familiar with Tetris? I owned the original Game Boy once upon a time so naturally I had the game that started the craze. But I have a secret to share. I wasn't really a fan. It was okay, but I seemed utterly immune to its spell. Really, I'm not much of a puzzle game fan. Oh sure, I like puzzles that are worked into other games, like platforming games or adventures and such, but pure puzzle games have never attracted me that much. But I really do wish I'd bought Tetrisphere. Read More... Posted Aug 29 2008, 11:00 AM by Amber Ahlborn with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: nintendo, amber ahlborn, n64, tetris, game boy advance, virtual console, retro game, tetrisphere

• Ys and You

  Monday saw the release of Ys Book I & II for the Wii's Virtual Console, making it the first time since mid-May I was remotely interested in anything on the service.  Standard VC bitchery: Nintendo, I am willing to buy digital versions of games I already own.  The save battery on my Earthbound cart still worked in 2005, but in the horrible year of 2008, who knows? If you weren't too aware of gaming in the early 90s, Ys Book I & II was basically the Halo of the ill-fated TurboGrafx-CD--not in how it was treasured by millions of gamers, but by what a showpiece it was for the hardware.  In 1990, CD-ROM technology was still astoundingly new, and NEC knew it could impress the pants off of prospective console buyers; hence, the showing of promotional videos featuring footage of Ys in gaming stores across the country (and I should know, because for some reason NEC also sent a handful of copies to my house). Read More... Posted Aug 26 2008, 12:00 PM by Bob Mackey with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: wii, rpg, bob mackey, ys, virtual console