61 Frames Per Second : 8-bit

What's in my MP3 Player: LetThereBeLight, a Mega Man 4 OC Remix

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 03:54:00 GMT

Line up to revoke any good feelings you have about me, because I think that Mega Man 4's soundtrack is better than Mega Man 2's.

”Oh my God Nadia how can you embarrass yourself like this?”

Though I thoroughly believe Mega Man 2 deserves its pedestal in the hearts of the people, I actually don't have the same nostalgic attachment to the title as other Mega Man fans. My first game was Mega Man 3, which I followed up with Mega Man 4. Mega Man 4's gameplay isn't exceptionally good, but the graphics and soundtrack are among the NES' best.

”So you say, but you still sound like you were dropped on your head as a baby and dragged away by a dog, poor wee child.”

Maybe so, but if you give the soundtrack a good listen, you can hear an attempt to go somewhere different. Dustman's stage is far beyond Mega Man's usual rock n roll du jour; it's a subdued tune, quite melancholy, that brings you back to those rainy days you spent indoors with your NES.

It also gave rise to the greatest OC Remix of all time.

LetThereBeLight by musician Stefan Ajax/AmIEvil is a rare instance of a remix I don't feel compelled to explain to any non-gaming company within listening range. The name is a bit deceptive, since one might expect a remix of Brightman's stage (also awesome, don't deny it), but what counts is how it sounds. LetThereBeLight is melancholy, like its source material, but also dark, tortuous, and mysterious. You would expect it to accompany a scene in a movie where the main cast has resolved to find their way out of a haunted forest, but will inevitably end up in the mouth of some hell-dog.

AmIEvil hasn't contributed any OC Remixes for a number of years, but he does seem to have a band that's touring around Sweden. So here's a “Hooray!” for a talented guy, though I do miss his automatically-accessible work.

Related Links:

What's In My MP3 Player: Super Metroid "In Your Prime"
What's In My MP3 Player: Castlevania II "Castle of Tears"
What's in my MP3 Player: Shadow's Theme

The Angry Video Game Nerd's House of Nintendo Horrors

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 03:37:00 GMT

There's been a noticeable lull in publicised Angry Video Game Nerd rants. Apparently, Rolfe is waiting for his contract renewal with ScrewAttack, and he's forbidden to yell until the people who sign his paycheques say it's okay. Man, I've been there.

To tide over the masses, the Nerd has published a short YouTube video showing off his NES game collection. How many Nintendo games do you think he owns? Times 'a lot' by a skillion and you'll get an idea.

Actually, I got more out of this video than I thought I would. The Nerd shows us his legitimate games, but in spite of Nintendo's best efforts, the NES had a lot of titles that weren't anywhere close to legitimate. Tengen's “illegal” version of Tetris was only the Purgatory of a twisted plastic hell. Deeper in the forbidden depths, you will see atrocities like cartridges bandaged together with sticky “Sale!” stickers, and cartridges with connectors poking out of their misbegotten heads.

Come one, come all. Two bits a gander.

Related Links:

The Angry Video Game Nerd Says a Bad Word: Deadly Towers
Periphery: The Angry Video Game Nerd Edition
Wow, Superman 64 Really Was Terrible

Pick Up Chicks In the Zelda Mobile

Nadia Oxford — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 16:28:00 GMT

You deserve a sexy car. That's why you need to own the Legend of Zelda Car. It's a 1978 Ford Fairmount adorned with the full map from the first Legend of Zelda game and other Zelda-related eye candy.

Pictures of the Zelda Car have vroom-vroomed their way into Nintendo Power, Digg, and several game sites. Face it: this is the car you want to lose your virginity in, you studly 29-year-old. Well, good news. It's up for sale.

The owner of the Zelda Car has taken out an ad on craigslist; he (she?) simply doesn't need the vehicle anymore, though it's been as faithful to him as Epona. It's in good condition, has a mere 110,000 miles on it (surely Link has walked/ridden more), and has fairly new shocks and tires.

It's yours for $500.00 USD.

Buy it, will ya!

Related Links:

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Stupidity
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask: Why I Let Termina Go Squish
Faster, Link! Kill! Kill!

The Making of Wrestle Jam from The Wrestler

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 03:28:00 GMT

The Wrestler walked away with my heart this year, even if it didn't walk away with any Oscars. I'm still shaking my fist in the direction of last Sunday. The spoor's going cold though, so I'm better off reading up about the small details that made the movie so heart-rending.

In one scene, Randy “The Ram” Robinson is silently coming to grips with the fact his body has become too broken-down for wrestling. He calls in a neighbour kid to play Nintendo with him—the 8-bit variety of Nintendo—and his game of choice is Wrestle Jam, a custom title with the soul of Pro Wrestling for the NES. As Randy and the neighbour kid click away as The Ram and The Ayatollah respectively, the boy, fed-up with the archaic game (and indeed, Randy himself) talks about Call of Duty 4. The discussion emphasises the old alongside the new, and in a few minutes, the game-based metaphor delivers a punch to the gut that's amplified by Mickey Rourke's perpetual hangdog face and scattered life.

The game scene goes by quickly, but it happens that Wrestle Jam is a fully-functioning game with pixelated graphics, 8-bit music, and (according to the brother and sister team behind its creation) “stupid enemy AI.”

Kotaku has an extensive look at the work that went behind Wrestle Jam, which apparently took graphics artist Kristyn Hume and programmer Randall Furino weeks to create.

What's interesting is that Director Darren Aronofsky recognises the symbolic potential of video games. Outside of The Wrestler, video game interludes are just something to keep characters' hands busy while they verbally recap events. Most actors don't have time for gaming, and thus don't know that mashing furiously on a control pad won't fool anyone involved in the pastime. The end result often looks silly, and is very distracting. Aronofsky made it clear that he wanted The Ram and the neighbour kid to actually play Wrestle Jam instead of doing the phantom button-mash so common to movies.

Robert Denerstein, a formerly a film critic at the Rocky Mountain News, notes that carefully thought-out scenes like the NES session in The Wrestler can add a lot to a movie—but they're rarely implemented.

"Given the prevalence of video games, you would think you'd see more of it. Advances in technology, like the introduction of the cell phone, have made things possible in storytelling that weren't possible before."

Take heed, Directors!

Related Links:

World WTF Federation: Wrestling Games?
Shigeru Miyamoto, The Heartbreak...Man?
Left 4 Dead Snaps into a Slim Jim

We Have Fury: Pieces of Gaming History End Up In Recycle Bins

Nadia Oxford — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 20:27:00 GMT

Today I bring you a sadder, somewhat stranger tale of game waste. This one comes from an employee of Best Buy, “DrSpengler,” who haunts a popular Transformers fan board called The Allspark.

Best Buy has a recycling program in place for electronic items. The chain will take your fizzled, your sizzled, your broken televisions yearning to be scrapped. It's a good way to paint your conscience green, since disposing of electronics in the traditional way is a Captain Planet no-no.

So Best Buy has the “Recycle” thing down pat, but it brickwalls at “Reuse.” Employees are absolutely forbidden to take away or purchase items that are brought in for recycling—and there are some vintage pieces of game history that are being crushed into little cubes, here. DrSpengler recalls one jaw-dropping throwaway: a 1985 NES action set, in-box, all cables and pack-in materials included, minus the Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt combo. Even the Zapper was grey, the precursor to the more iconic orange-and-grey light gun.

Best Buy is paid to recycle items, and likely ship the boxes by weight, so it's no surprise they don't want employees to paw through their profits. I can't even wholly blame Best Buy for callously chucking a snippet of gaming's past into a marked box. Whomever owned that little beast obviously had no idea what they were holding on to. That, or some collector's over-tidy mother got a good ol' fashioned screaming-at that evening.

MattG, who runs a gaming blog called Press The Buttons, thinks we really need to be more careful about this sort of thing:

This makes me absolutely furious. These items are part of our history. I'm reminded of how television studios used to destroy their old films and tapes to make room in warehouses. The destruction means that we're missing big chunks of our shared entertainment culture. Ever wonder why you never see video clips from the early years of The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson? It's because NBC trashed the old tapes in the late 1960s in the belief that old episodes had no value and were taking up valuable storage space. I know there are much more important things to be worked up about, but trashing these perfectly functional treasures really upsets me.

Related Links:

Gaming: A Throwaway Hobby?

Dragon Quest IV: Re-Reading the Chapters of the Chosen

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 04:22:00 GMT

Keeping true to my reputation as the Fastest Gamer in the West, I'm still playing through Dragon Quest IV. I played the NES original, though I never finished it. I was put off by the fact a Dragon Warrior game had a story, and I just never got into it. I was a very dull child, as you can imagine.

Dragon Quest IV's branching story isn't anything that would throw Stephen King into a jealous rage, but it's fun and ambitious, and I appreciate it very much. Jumping from the flat-rate story in Dragon Warrior III (“Save the world because your father fucked the mission up”) to a headstrong cast of warriors with their own thoughts and feelings just kind of knocked me for a loop back then. The Loto Saga was effectively over with Dragon Warrior III, and I had decided to be a pouting child about Square-Enix's decision to move on.

I know a bit better now. In fact, I admire Enix's methods very much. The story for the first entry in the Zenithian Saga is light but filling, and it keeps impressively well. I get the impression that it was well ahead of its time, at least for North America, where little trolls like myself looked at it and said, “Whatever.” The branched means of storytelling in Dragon Quest IV, which ultimately has everyone meeting at the pub after doing their own thing for a time, isn't a mechanic that's employed to a huge extent today. When it does come into play, you don't stand behind the counter as a fat merchant, selling weapons to earn commission enough for your very own copper sword. It's just a copper sword, yes, but it's damn well the hardest copper sword you'll earn—and a weapon you'll feel a significant amount of affection for. Dragon Quest IV's story is so bold and lovable, it's hard to believe it originated on the 8-bit Famicom.

When I was a little older, I really warmed up to the idea of RPGs having complicated stories and a movie-like cast of characters. It just took some time to accept the idea of supporting actors who were more than a sword or magic staff at my disposal. When it happened though, I felt like a mom who'd finally realised that her kids had grown up and acquired their own motivations and ideas.

Creepy metaphor. Sorry.

Related Links:

The 61FPS Review: Dragon Quest IV: Chapters of the Chosen
Anticipation Time: Dragon Quest IV
Unwrapped: Dragon Quest IV

The Duck Tales Moon Theme--With Lyrics

Nadia Oxford — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 04:41:00 GMT

Duck Tales for the NES presented a rare moment in my gaming history: it marked an instance in which my friends and I were all on the same page about a video game. I was the hardcore gamer (loser) of the bunch, meaning I often had my heart broken when we'd have a sleepover party and a Mega Man game rental would lose out to licensed slurry like Bart vs The World.

But Duck Tales...ah, Duck Tales was a familiar property, and it was one of the best platformers on the NES. My friends didn't have to cringe away in confusion from some anime mascot and I didn't have to watch them argue slowly about how to make Bart Simpson advance past the snow cave level.

Duck Tales' accessibility gave us another rare occurrence. An entire generation became familiar with one particular piece of game music: the Moon level. Even kids who didn't clock in all that many hours on the Nintendo slowly smile when they hear the tune and recognition dawns.

“Brentalfloss,” a gentleman who adds lyrics to classic Nintendo music, has given the same treatment to Scrooge McDuck's journey to the Moon. The lyrics mostly deal with McDuck's slow, sad spiral into a world of delusions fueled by his lust for gold. That's a grim picture: a millionaire mallard lying dead on a barren, cold wasteland at the end of a disastrous search for riches. But in his death-dreams, he's still jumping up and down on top of giant moon rats.

Related Links:

Chiptune Friday: Dangerous Disney Ducks!
Darkwing Duck: Disney's Secret Mega Man
Screw Attack Remembers Lion King: I Remember a 16-bit Hell

Castlevania III: Dracula's Reign Ends, Sypha's Baby Factory Opens

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 02:45:00 GMT

When I was a kid, I ate crayons while I was supposed to be tested for giftedness, I lost interest in achieving the honour roll when I found out it wasn't covered with sticky frosting, and I could never understand why grown-ups got so uppity if I was wearing my shirt backwards (still can't). But I finished Castlevania III all by myself, without cheating, and I'm still damn proud of that. It remains one of about two games both my husband and I played as kids, but only I've completed.

I've only finished the game with Grant as my aide, mind you. Even my childlike stupidity and gullibility had its limits. “Ha ha,” I said as I watched the credits scroll, “I am never doing this again!”

Ah, but it looks like I will with the help of the Virtual Console. Once I get my platforming legs back, I'd like to try and finish the game with Sypha. I've seen her ending already thanks to the modern magic of YouTube, but it still fascinates me. The second Dracula dies, the schmatte covering Sypha's head falls off on cue and Trevor's like, “Holy shit, Imma touch this bitch.” And he does.

Sypha's gender is pretty ambiguous up to that point. It's basically a Samus-style unveiling, but Samus was alone in the depths of space. The only person who was present when she said, “Um, excuse me, I have a vagina,” was the player.

So what's the deal between Sypha and Trevor? Did he know from the start that Sypha was a female, but he said “Shhh, let's not tell the player until they've finished the game and gone half-mad through the attempt?”

Or did Sypha wait until that moment to show Trevor what was under her robes, and Trevor just said, “Oh, well, you're a girl.” (*belt hitch*) “I guess we'll be makin' some babies, then?”

Only they know, bless their little pixel-sized hearts.

Related Links:

Suffering Castlevania Fatigue
Watcha Playing: Castlevania Portrait of Ruin
Castlevania: Curse of the Stupid Red-Headed Kid

Some Games Nadia Played in 2008 Instead of Working: Mega Man 9

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 22:55:00 GMT

When I have to call up numbers for any reason, I rely on “funny” math. 1+1 = cow and whatnot. I don’t like math and math doesn’t like me. There’s a reason why I’m scrabbling as a writer and not pursuing my dream career as an epidemiologist (no, I’m serious).

This is my roundabout say of saying I miscounted the days and my “Ten Games Nadia Played, etc,” list isn’t going to hit double digits. It will be forever young and I’m comfortable with that.

One reason I might be so bad with numbers is because I spent a significant amount of my childhood playing Mega Man games instead of doing something useful. When you’re a Mega Man fan, what use is there for numbers above eight? Of course, when it comes time to count the sheer number of sequels and offshoots Mega Man has appeared in, you’re kind of boned. I thought I’d just do like the rabbits from Watership Down and refer to large numbers as “Hrar”--but then rumours of Mega Man 9 showed up and around and I knew the title deserved my attempt to count above eight.

The first substantial details about Mega Man 9 came through the June 2008 edition of Nintendo Power. It was pretty heartening to read jaw-dropping revelations about a highly anticipated title through a print magazine; that sort of thing just doesn’t happen so much anymore.

At first I was disappointed that Capcom wasn’t though with state-of-the-art turbo-powered graphics for Mega Man 9, but then I quickly realized it was pretty clever on their part. Mega Man games have always had pleasing graphics, but they should be about gameplay, tinny music and controls you can swear by.

Nostalgia is a powerful, blinding master that still has hordes of twenty-somethings believing that the cartoons and video games that raised them in the ’80s contained beautiful statements on the human condition instead of subliminal suggestions to buy toys. Mega Man 9 caters to every pore in an ’80s/‘90s fan boy, or fan girl; when I played it, my reflexes were whisked back to the summer I slowly mastered Mega Man 3, my very first Mega Man game.

That comparison alone is assurance that Mega Man 9 is more than empty nostalgia. It’s a phone call back to our eleven-year-old selves, a visit from a loving but slightly eccentric military grandfather who pokes you in your paunch and orders you to drop and give him fifty. Maybe we didn’t need a reminder of how nastily hard games were when we were kids, but the fact Mega Man trusted me help him rescue Doctor Light without first subjecting me to an hour-long tutorial makes me adore him, no matter what he put me through.

Related Links:

Mega Man 9 Goes Back To Your Roots. Way Back.
Mega Man 9 Bosses Look Like Mega Man Bosses
My Last Mega Man 9 Post, I Swear

Unwrapped: Dragon Quest IV

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 02:03:00 GMT

Ahhh, Christmas. This is a nice time of year for a freelance writer. I’m going to ingest fermented liquids that take the edge off my passion for writing, and editors don’t feel like wading through my crazy letter soup to ball together the few sensible words that congealed in the broth. So I’m told “That’s enough, get outta here. Merry Christmas.” And I start blubbering about my little son Tim dying slowly of acidosis and rickets. Then I settle down and finally, finally get caught up on the games I was too busy writing about to actually sit and play.

First task: Finish Chrono Trigger DS and set aside the five thousand hours that’s required to sweep through the “bonus” dungeons. I’ve not experienced them fully, but I’ve been made to understand that the quotation marks are richly deserved. I can’t wait to find out why. I hear it has something to do with a fetch quest! Boy oh boy!

Second: break out and play Dragon Quest IV. Hell yes, Akira Toriyama double-feature. I’m an unapologetic fan girl and will remain thus until I drop my love for human-devouring dinosaurs bristling with spikes and unscientific add-ons.

STATUS, 22/12/2008: I still think dinosaurs are rad. Associated love for Akira Toriyama: Stable.

The original Dragon Quest III/Dragon Warrior III for the NES left an indelible impression on me; ask me sometime about the story I wrote that featured an original plot but lifted monsters straight from the game. On second thought, don’t. The point is, Dragon Quest III remains a favourite even today, but the original Dragon Quest IV/Dragon Warrior IV kind of slipped by me. It was a hard game to find and by the time it was available, I had moved on to the SNES and would shortly become too cool for boring old stories about demon kings against classic heroes.

Oh God. Come back, boring old stories about demon kings versus classic heroes. I’m spending Christmas with my father-in-law, the days stretch ahead of me and I miss journeying with characters who won’t poison me with their hair gel fumes.

Related Links:

The 61 FPS Review: Dragon Quest IV: Chapters of the Chosen
Anticipation Time: Dragon Quest IV
RPGs Make Me OCD

Know Your Mega Man Boss Weaknesses. It Will Save Your Life.

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:46:00 GMT

Quick. Name Snake Man's weakness in Mega Man III.

Your two seconds are up. Do you know it? That's what I thought.

According to the word on the wind, I'll be getting a BB Gun for Christmas. I plan to arm myself and quiz citizens of the world on their Mega Man trivia. You would do well to study up, and to stock up on Red Bull (I'm thinking about being lenient on ignorant gamers who provide a suitable offering to slake my wrath. They might not be wholly spared, but a shot to the bum is preferable to a shot through the eye).

It just so happens Cybermoon Studios has visual references for Mega Man boss weaknesses. The games covered include Mega Man, Mega Man 2, Mega Man 3 and Mega Man 9.

Which means when I stuff the business end of my Red Ryder up your nose and slur “Dust Man. Which is it?”, you're going to have a problem. Unless CyberMoon keeps drawing for the good of humanity.

Related Links:

The Mega Man Robot Club
Mega Man 2 vs Mega Man 3 The Battle For Everlasting Peace
Mega Man 9 Bosses Look Like Mega Man Bosses

Let Dotter Dotter Take You to the Third Dimension

Bob Mackey — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:00:00 GMT

In yet another addition to the "I wish I could read Japanese so I could find out more about things that are completely awesome" file (admittedly, the file has a big name and I'm currently looking for a way to shorten it), comes a little Japanese blog by the name of Dotter Dotter--at least, that's what I think it's called. Listen, those are basically the only english words on the page, so I'm going to assume I'm right. Anyway, names aren't important here; what is important is the fact that this dude (or lady-type person) has created some really great images based on old-school Nintendo sprite art. Like the following:

As you can see, language is irrelevant when it comes to something this awesome. But having some basic understanding of Japanese would at least let me know if there are some wallpaper-sized versions of these images available on Dotter Dotter. Without a doubt, that would be much more awesomer.

Related Links:

Trailer Review: Retro Game Master
Don’t Call It Retro: Mega Man 9 and Design Resurrection
Where I Draw the Line With Retro

10 Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead Of Working: Bionic Commando Rearmed

Nadia Oxford — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 02:14:00 GMT

Having grown up with two brothers and personally scoring somewhere in the negatives on the official Femininity Chart, you would think that Bionic Commando would have found its way into my Nintendo library somehow. Alas, no. Though I was always aware of Rad Spencer and his important contribution to history (making Hitler's head and secret headquarters EXPLOD), I didn't adopt any fondness for Bionic Commando until I watched my husband do a playthrough. My eyes followed that swaying red-headed soldier like a pendulum. Where do I sign up for the Bionic Harem?

(And what did I just say about scoring in the negatives on the official Femininity Chart?)

I tried to take control of Rad. When my attempts to make him swing out of the television screen and into my lap failed, I decided I'd at least try to get him through his no-jump adventure. I couldn't get through Area 01. It was an embarassing disaster and Hitler won. I figured Bionic Commando was simply something you had to be born into if you wanted to stand any chance of finishing it.

Time went by, stealing a drop of my life with every tick, and there dawned an age (Now) wherein game developers learned the value of nostalgia. Remakes and revamps of old classics, they reasoned, would send twenty- and- thirty-somethings running to Playstation Network and Xbox Marketplace like sows to the trough. Indeed, we sucked it all down, but there's no shame in indulging in a high-quality remake like Bionic Commando Rearmed.

Grin's re-imagining of Bionic Commando made the game far more accessible difficulty-wise, but without sacrificing too much of the old skool pain we all enjoy getting reamed with. I found it a great middle-of-the-road experience, plus the game was thick with fantasitc character design and humour. Rad is just so cool. I wish he'd come to my birthday party.

The spankin'-new 3D Bionic Commando is due out next year. Looks like Rad Spencer's carefree ways and awesome sunglasses have gone the way of the '80s, but heck, I'm still game.

Related Links:

Derrick's Top 13 Games of 2008--Part 1
Top 5 Reasons Why 2009 Will Bring the End of Lists
My Top 10 of 2008 In No Particular Order: Grand Theft Auto IV

Mega Man Dies and Goes To Robot Hell For His Sins

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:01:00 GMT

Wise people are known to furrow their brows, stroke their beards and wonder why Doctor Wily just doesn't throw his entire stable of robot jerks at Mega Man. There are two answers to that question. First, there is certainly something psychological with Wily's slow trickle of Robot Masters; the even distribution gives Mega Man a challenge, but doesn't overpower him. This, in turn, leads to some rambling theory about every human's need to chase a Questing Beast.

The second answer is probably the right one: if Mega Man had to fight every Robot Master at once, his games wouldn't be much fun, stupid.

Gee, the guy who put together this video makes it look so easy. In fact, there's something primal and just a little sexual about this nine-man confrontation.

Just when you thought we'd never see another interesting Robot Master, here comes METBUBBNEAANAASOMANKNANWOAOAAIR Man.

Related Links:

What I'm Playing This Weekend: Mega Man Anniversary Collection
Mega Man is a Dick
Mega Man 9 Trailer: I'm Drowning in My Childhood

The Videogame Ages, part 2

John Constantine — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 22:00:00 GMT

In part one of The Videogame Ages, I discussed the inadequacy of “generation” language in gaming, and laid out The Golden Age of gaming. In part two, I look at the Silver and Bronze ages before taking a look at the modern era and the future.

The Silver Age – 1983 to 1996
8-Bit, 16-Bit, Early Handheld, Early 3D, Advanced PC and Arcade

The silver age of games is defined by expansion, in not just playability but breadth of experience. When home computers became affordable and home consoles began diversifying, games started transforming from immediate, single-mechanic experiences into more lasting forms. Silver age games were still about escalating challenge, but high scores ceased being the goal, replaced by definitive endings. Games started becoming more explicitly narrative-driven, as aesthetic justification on consoles and as the focus of many PC games (see the entire adventure game genre.) Portable gaming also started to rise to prominence during this period, early single-screen LCD games replaced by multi-game consoles like the Game Boy and Atari Lynx. Arcade and PC game technology pulled far away from home consoles, but all games were shifted from the rough visual abstraction of golden age games, into more aesthetically recognizable presentations – albeit still cartoonish impressionistic rather than realistic. The rise of polygonal 3D graphics, both real-time full 3D (Yu Suzuki’s Virtua series) and pre-rendered (Myst, etc.), at the end of the silver age marks the transition to bronze. In 1996, with the release of Mario 64, Tomb Raider, and Quake, the silver age comes to a close.

The Bronze Age – 1996 to 2006 (maybe)
32-bit, 64-bit, 128-bit, Death of Arcades, PC Equalization

While golden age games’ boundary was a single screen and silver age games were largely confined to movement from left to right or down to up, the bronze age is the birth of 3D space as gaming’s chief concern. This isn’t to say that games that take a place on a 2D plain ceased being important or a valid medium for experimentation (though they certainly became marginalized on consoles, PCs, and in arcades.) But creating spaces with depth similar to the physical world took center stage in design. This push toward realistic spaces is mirrored in game aesthetics. Nearly all the technological benchmarks of the bronze age have come from creating as lifelike a facsimile of real life as can be achieved on any technology. PC games typically set that high water mark, though by the end of 2006, home consoles had largely caught up to PCs, much as they did with arcade games during the first few years of the 20th century (arcades are close to extinct now.) Game narrative started heavily borrowing from film’s storytelling language, relying on scripted scenes voiced and acted by digital characters in an attempt to tell deeper stories, but games also started developing there own unique storytelling language during this period, some games allowing the player to always be immersed in drama through play (see: Half-Life.) Multiplayer games no longer required physical proximity with the rise of online play on both PCs and consoles, and portable gaming started offering richer, longer play experiences, akin to those found on consoles.

I’m not totally convinced that the bronze age has ended yet, but the telltale signs of gaming’s latest age-defining shift have been popping up with some frequency over the last few years. The argument can be made that the Heroic Age of gaming is one of community via online networks and MMOs, user-generated content (see: Spore, LittleBigPlanet, Halo 3, Boom Blox, etc.), and experiential gaming. Experiential gaming is a big one whose mettle has yet to be tested, whether or not broad physical activity, from waving a Wiimote to playing fake musical instruments, will catch on. It’s certainly a dramatic shift to see experiential gaming leave its one-time home, the arcade, and transform into a driving force of home gaming. Then again, who knows? Maybe the golden age of gaming has only just ended, and its now, when players can finally build games themselves inside of other games, that the silver age has begun. Let me know, dear reader.

Part 1

Related links:
Comparison of Wiki Articles Proves Geeks Inherited The Earth
MMO Predicts Life in 10 Years
Men Are From Hyrule, Women Are From Simville: If Gender Defines the Games We Play, Why Does Everyone Play By the Same Rules?
9/9/99 9 Years Later
Fix It: Alone in the Dark, Tiger Woods, and the Death of the Glitch
Everyone Will be Able to Rock

The Videogame Ages, part 1

John Constantine — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 21:30:00 GMT

This past Friday, I tried to slip a little piece of language into a discussion about game emulation that I was wary about using at all. At this point, the go-to boundaries for discussing videogames’ admittedly small history is console-technology generations. We say 8-Bit or 16-Bit because these are easy identifiers based on competing, contemporary technologies. But the language “The 8-Bit Generation” doesn’t account for arcade technology, PC games, or portable gaming. Now that Bob Dvorak’s Tennis for Two is officially fifty years-old, I think we can finally start applying broader terms to gaming’s evolutionary eras. Obviously history is fluid, and chances are these classifications won’t hold true in 2050, but for now they work. The Hesiodic ages, as laid out here, consider games on every platform; the rigid parameters of home consoles, the advanced nature of PC and Mac gaming throughout the 1980s and ‘90s, the fast strides made by arcade technology throughout that same period, and the predominantly inferior technology available in handheld gaming. Unlike Hesiod’s Ages of Man, however, the videogame ages are (mostly) a positive progression. Please note: these are not strict definitions. This is a discussion, and I want everyone to make their opinions heard in the comments section. Now then, onward to the Golden Age.

The Golden Age – 1958 to 1983
Dvorak, MIT, Early Arcade, Early Home Console

The golden age of gaming began in 1958 and was, for almost a decade and a half, almost exclusively concerned with tennis. It took Nolan Bushnell getting clever for us to start calling it Pong. Tennis for Two, Magnavox’s Odyssey, and Bushnell’s advice to “avoid missing ball for high score” was pretty much the only game in town until the mid-70s with some notable exceptions. The second videogame ever made has a more recognizable legacy in today’s games. Steve Russell’s Spacewar!, started in 1961 as a side-project of the Tech Model Railroad Club at MIT (history’s first hackers, dontchaknow,) shares the two-player, two-object dynamics of Pong but the gameplay focused on actually destroying your opponent in a science-fiction setting. These games set the standard for the golden age: individual play mechanics presented on single screens. By the late-70s and early-80s, as Atari and other early consoles that could play multiple games were becoming common, games started expanding in both scope and ambition. Adventure, Pitfall, and others introduced continuity in their worlds, while Pac-man and Donkey Kong made the first stabs at introducing narrative. On the technology end, 1980 saw scrolling action in Defender and the larval form of 3D play, vector graphics, in Battlezone. The game industry crash and the release of the Famicom in 1983 mark the end of this period.

Part 2

Related links:
Comparison of Wiki Articles Proves Geeks Inherited The Earth
MMO Predicts Life in 10 Years
Men Are From Hyrule, Women Are From Simville: If Gender Defines the Games We Play, Why Does Everyone Play By the Same Rules?
9/9/99 9 Years Later
Fix It: Alone in the Dark, Tiger Woods, and the Death of the Glitch
Everyone Will be Able to Rock

Yahtzee Presents A New Angle On Nostalgia (Sort Of)

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:05:00 GMT

While Mr Constantine gets over his case of the vapours, I'd like to offer my own perspective on Yahtzee's scorn towards Mrs Rad Spencer. One bit in particular caught my interest.

(::Pipe puff::)

Most of North America had the honour of growing up alongside the Nintendo Entertainment System. A great deal of Europe, if my video game lore is up to snuff, did not. I remember my older brother coming home from a visit to Ireland and telling me about how everyone there still played Atari 2600. I was all like, "No waaaaay!" Then the UK's ultra-sweet take on Smarties rebelled against my stomach and I vomited everywhere.

In his latest rant against Bionic Commando and all things fun, Yahtzee briefly mentions that his household was a Commodore 64 household--in other words, he didn't grow up with Bionic Commando or a lot of our favourite 8-bit treasures. Having grown up with a Commodore 64 as well as a Nintendo, I have no trouble admitting that one system offered a complex gaming experience full of adventure and thrills whereas the other one offered me a lot of eyestrain thanks to glitchy graphics and scratched disks. Try to guess which system is which. You may be surprised.

I agree with Yahtzee when he says that way too many of us look back at our old games through rose-tinted glasses. A lot of NES games--and gosh, even games on the SNES, a system I love with all my heart--were terrible. But not all of them. Certainly not Bionic Commando, which may be difficult and frustrating at times, but is not badly put-together in the least.

Asking why Rad can't just jump over objects instead of grappling past them is like asking why we can't dig holes in water. It's just not the way things are done. We don't have to sit around and play the Game of Life. It's a cheap, plastic scaled-down version of a typical grown-up's boring lot. But there's something obscenely fun about it, so play we must.

Still, it's interesting to see how Yahtzee's place of birth affected his outlook on the games we love. I disagree with his view on Bionic Commando and Bionic Commando Rearmed, but it's also possible that our early years of gaming implants vital ideas of what a game should be. Being raised on different systems means different points of views.

Or Yahtzee's just flat-out wrong. That's possible too.

Related Links:

Nobody Puts Bionic Commando in a Corner
Yahtzee and the Webcomics Plague
Sweaty, Oily Barbarian Men Are Waiting For Your Purchase

What I'm Playing This Weekend: No Freakin' Clue, Boyo

Nadia Oxford — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 23:00:00 GMT

My husband and I downloaded a whack of Virtual Console games a couple of weeks ago, and it looks like we're through our backlog already. Last week I mentioned that we were going through Super Mario Bros 3 and of course, that's long since been done with. We travelled from the breezy plains of Grass Land to the twisted ruined mushroom villages in Dark Land. Also, I used a Hammer Bros music box at the end of Pipe Land and the lullaby music carried over to Dark Land. Tee hee.

For someone who writes about games for a cursed living, I rarely get a chance to settle down and play what I want, except on weekends. Oh, cold irony. Looks like I'll have to opt out of gaming this weekend though because apparently some sort of last-minute miniature family reunion is going on involving cousins from Belfast. There will be drinking. Drinking is good, but it's best performed in conjunction with gaming. I guess I won't have that option unless I haul along Guitar Hero or something, but I'm a terribly lazy girl.

However, Mega Man 9 is almost on us, so I guess this is as good an opportunity as any to practise my finger-bending exercises. I feel like a parent who's sending her kid out onto the stage. Please don't fall on your face, darling. You'll embarrass me and I'll have to move to the Yukon and pose as a sled dog. Bark bark!

Related Links:

What I'm Playing This Weekend: Mega Man Anniversary Collection
What I'm Playing This Weekend: Super Mario Bros 3
The Delights of Continuity in Mega Man and Abroad

Robot Chicken Torments the Excite Bike Guy

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 22:03:00 GMT

I've always been of two minds about Robot Chicken. It's basically a lot of claymation jokes about our favourite childhood toys and mascots farting and pooping and I am so above that. (*frt*) But sometimes the show comes out with something that makes me laugh in spite of myself. It happened again today, in the middle of a library. :(

Robot Chicken: Excitebike follows the innocent little biker from Excite Bike on the NES. He's just tooling around, driving home from a long day at work to see the wife and kids--

Wait, does the Excite Bike dude have a name or a background? What do we know about his life? His motivation? His credit history? Even F-Zero's tight-muscled pilot, Captain Falcon, has gained a certain amount of infamy. We now know he loves to brawl, he writes slash fanfiction about himself and Samurai Goroh and he fathered an illegitimate son somehow.

And despite all that, I think I'd rather date the Excite Bike guy. A bit of mystery is sexy. Looks like he'll have to take care of his shattered legs, first.

Also, I'm a new admirer of the adjective "anus-shattering."

Related Links:

Seth McFarlane Animates Mario Short
Quickies: Homestar Ruiner
Will Games Ever Be Funny?

I Will Push Over Your Grandmothers For a Mega Man 9 Press Kit

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 23:09:00 GMT

We're all friends here at 61 FPS and I believe in being straightforward with my friends. Therefore, I don't think I need to keep it a secret that I am willing to do some pretty reddish work at night to get my paws on this sexy, sexy Mega Man 9 press kit.

I have a fish-scaling knife. I have Jethro Tull on my iPod. It's Go time.

Threats of violence aside, I have to admire the firm grasp Capcom has on fan nostalgia. Sure, the company is teasing us like a kid holding a steak just out of the reach of a chained dog, but there aren't too many other companies out there that are willing to make fun of their past atrocities. Cover-ups seem preferred. Look at Konami's wretched attempt to erase "WHAT IS A MAN" away from the Internet lexicon with the re-translation of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night on the PSP.

Not Capcom. Look at the gorgeous "box art" they've penned for Mega Man 9. The back of the box art even features that flaming artwork of Captain Commando, who used to thank you personally for purchasing Capcom's latest high quality game pak. It makes me proud to see that one of the game industry's biggest beasts has not forgotten its facepalm-inducing heritage.

Though it's not a common practise for press kits, word has it that Capcom is thinking of selling about 250 of these pretty bundles in the Capcom Store. 250. The gaming world has a huge hard-on for nostalgia right now. How is a quantity of 250 going to sate our voracious appetites?

Then again, I guess if gold was just lying around for any commoner to smear up with his snot and spit, it wouldn't be so valuable.

Related Links:

Mega Man 9 Goes Back to Your Roots. Way Back.
New Mega Man 9 Trailer: I'm Drowning in My Childhood
It's Official: Capcom Has Been Taken Over By Nerds

Rockman Lucky Star

Nadia Oxford — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 01:41:00 GMT

Ewww, who stunk up the blog with religion and serious crap?...Oh, it was me. Sorry guys. Friday is not for thinking. Friday is for sillies, especially Fridays that herald the looong weekend. I'm gonna drink a beer and get so drunk.

And by "a beer" I mean fifty.

I don't think I'd want to live in a world without silly anime dances. I don't know how many of you are fans of Lucky Star (I personally haven't seen it yet), but the adorable Mega Man parody of the opening can be appreciated no matter your alignment. There's some impressive sprite work to be had. Bonus footage of Gravity Man flipping Roll and Kalinka upside-down.

It's not quite what you think. Sorry. Lord, the whole thing is very innocent.

I wish you the best long weekend ever.

Related Links:

Listen to Video Games Live in your Car
WTFriday: FMV Hell
Ne, Rokkuman! Yaranaika?: The World of Hyadain

Mario Will Not Retire. He Will Outlive Us All.

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 02:05:00 GMT

Growing up, we all kind of hated the rich kid. Even if he was the sweetest child in the world who only wanted to share his toys and candy and have us come over and play in his hedge maze (remember that episode of Care Bears? If not, silly me, I just made up another euphemism for sex), we'd lapse into an uncomfortable, cringing silence around him, like dogs in the presence of an alpha. When he wasn't around, we'd seethe and hiss in his direction.

There are gamers in this world who are similarly intimidated by the existence of our hairy king, Mario. He benevolently brought many of us into this glorious, mind-gelling hobby. He has walked, run and jumped with us since we were children. Thanks to Mushroom Kingdom logic, we have baffled our teachers with adamant declarations about raccoons flying and fireballs bouncing underwater. Just last year, we soared through space with our magic plumber and visited more fantastic planes than the Little Prince.

Mario is grand. And that's why the latest Internet fad, in which bloggers call for his retirement, is impotent and sad.

I'm still unsure who first decided to make the ill declaration; likely someone desperate to crown himself King Controversy. This time, freelancer Patrick Goss takes the throne and gives us his reasons why Mario should give it all up and open a spaghetti farm.

The article is admittedly well-written and free from the venom that usually shoots from the mouths of message board trolls who feel qualified to look down on Shigeru Miyamoto. Still, I feel obligated to counter.

I don't feel like Mario needs to “bow out gracefully.” The Mario games are not a television series being torn apart by epic writer fights and demands for more money. We receive one, maybe two Mario games per console generation, with the NES being the obvious exception. Each title is invariably well-received and loved. In the interest of not starting a war, I'm not going to say too much about Super Mario Blacksheep--er, Sunshine.

Goss mentions Disney, which doesn't manufacture much in the way of Mickey Mouse cartoons lately and instead has moved on to other properties. He's right. Be sure to catch The Little Mermaid XXVII: Ariel's Hysterectomy, available on DVD this summer.

The thesis of Goss' article argues that Mario is in danger of being taken for granted or becoming passe. There was a time when Mario was passe; he choked desperately on Sonic the Hedgehog's wake. We all left him behind to go play with Sega's new pet. When it slowly became obvious that Sonic had rabies, Mario was waiting for us. We were sheepish, but we had learned a lesson. Oh God, did we learn a lesson.

Mario was every kid's hero when I was growing up and he remains a hero to young kids. If you think any differently, visit a game store and watch the kids pore over him and chatter about their own experiences in the same excited way we talked about Super Mario 2 and its successors. There's nothing to be gained from taking that away from them.

Related Links:

Super Mario World is Terrifying!
WiiWare: Nintendo, Babe, it Just Isn't Working Out
So I Hear Folks Are Upset With Nintendo

The Angry Video Game Nerd Says a Bad Word: Deadly Towers

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 23:04:00 GMT

Sons and Daughters of the 8-bit Gods, it is time. The Angry Video Game Nerd has summoned the power of his inner heart and our contributed swears to bark back at the evil that eclipsed our Nintendos so long ago: Deadly Towers.

Note that the audio on this movie is Not Safe For Work in any regard. Things get pretty raunchy at record speed.

Personally, I think I would have preferred a complete review instead of a bunch of strung-together swears, however foul (wait, I am talking about the Angry Video Game Nerd, right?). Deadly Towers is a game that doesn't come by often. It's as rare as Dracula's centennial resurrection and fifty times more frightening. Most "bad" games are merely mediocre, or they fail for very obvious reasons like making the controller come to life and bite you on the thumb. You say to yourself, "This game is an unfair piece of crap" and you throw it out the window in good conscience.

But when you play Deadly Towers, your brain goes numb. You know you're playing a terrible game, but you're helpless to turn away. It's like those nightmare stories about paralysed patients waking up on the operating table and lying frozen while the scalpel cuts into them.

When you turn on Deadly Towers, you're subject to a long and rambling story that's obviously been translated by apes with twisted optic nerves. The graphics are grey and washed-out. The challenge is indescribably hard and the bonging MIDI music will drive you naked into the street, brandishing a butcher knife. But a lot of NES games can be described as grey, forgettable adventures that are difficult to navigate. Somehow, Deadly Towers takes all these adorable traits, amplifies them by a thousand and throws them all together to mate in an orgy of flying cock-swords that stab you in the ear twenty times before you begin to fathom what's going on.

In other words, the Nerd has put up with a lot in the past by playing all the way through games that no one wants to touch. It's obvious he couldn't bring himself to pass Deadly Towers' initial Pit of Horror and Dispair (aka Level One) and I'm not about to hold that against him.

Related Links:

Periphery: Angry Video Game Nerd Edition
The Nerd Needs You!
Wow, Superman 64 Really Was Terrible

Worlds of Power: Books That Worried Your Parents and Pissed Off Your Teachers

Nadia Oxford — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:45:00 GMT

My weekend sojourn with Bionic Commando Rearmed's Mr Rad Spencer reminded me of all things good, pure and 8-bit. I even remembered that my husband owns most of the Worlds of Power books, novel "adaptations" of popular Nintendo games from Back in the Day™. He transferred them over to our new basement apartment home after we were married; it's a dowry my parents are proud of, I'm sure.

Alas, I cannot find the Bionic Commando adaptation, but if I were to guess, I'd say Rad Spencer wasn't allowed to shoot anyone with his awesome guns. I did find Ninja Gaiden, which is dedicated to "the Ninja in everyone's dad." Holy shit, I thought my dad just sold alarm systems. This is awesome news.

I don't know if you kids today have book fairs, but they were a staple of my school days. My generation was not in love with the printed word and teachers did their best to make sure we didn't fall into any affairs. They policed our book fair purchases, declaring comic books to be verboten "trash," especially comic books about the Ninja Turtles or that rude Bart Simpson. The cutting-edge Nintendo Entertainment System was the worst enemy of my grade school marms, so F.X. Nine's Worlds of Power was book fair contraband, too.

I think any teacher who discourages a kid from reading material aimed at him is missing the point of their job, but I have to admit that Worlds of Power is junk food for the mind. The characterisation is bad, the writing is overly-simple and the transparent attempts to avoid references to violence are laughable and even insulting. Everyone knows that Ryu's father dies at the start of Ninja Gaiden; it was console gaming's first vault into storytelling beyond Mario staggering across eight kingdoms in a heart-breaking search for his princess. The Worlds of Power books, desperate to win the approval of adult authorities (not bloody likely), minimised human deaths in its pages and in fact brought Ryu's father back to life.

No. Bad. Jesus brings forth the dead, not F.X. Nine.

I'm going to search very hard for our Bionic Commando book. If I fail, I'm sure I can find some substitutes and we'll all go on a G-rated literary journey. In the meantime, enjoy 8-Bit Lit, an excellent 1UP feature that will learn you some game novel history and is dedicated to the bionic soldier in everyone's mom.

Related Links:

Watcha Playing: Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword
Gone Vertical: Hands-On Bionic Commando
There Is Nothing Funny About Bionic Commando Funny Books

What I'm Playing This Weekend: Mega Man Anniversary Collection

Nadia Oxford — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 22:37:00 GMT

I am a rotten Mega Man fan. I only acquired the Mega Man Anniversary Collection last week. But wait! Put down the cat o' nine tails!I have an excuse!

Um...

See, when the Gamecube and Playstation 2 crouched at the starting line for Big Shiny Console Love Race!! 2000, we bet on the Gamecube. Nintendo's purple lunchbox proved to be the wrong choice for anyone who wanted to pick up Mega Man Anniversary Collection, because the developers at Atomic Planet decided to reverse Mega Man's jump and shoot buttons--"A" being shoot and "B" being jump. Anyone weaned on the Blue Bomber might understandably be traumatised at this nonsensical reversal, especially since Atomic Planet thoughtfully excluded the ability to change controller settings.

So here we are now, a little less poor than in previous years (holy cow, not by much) and able to afford a Playstation 2. A friend gave us the superior PS2 adaptation of Mega Man Anniversary Collection and now my husband and I are taking turns appreciating the classics instead of engaging in social interaction with our human peers.

Presentation-wise, Mega Man Anniversary Collection could certainly stand a tweak or three. Parts of the game is based on the Japan-exclusive Rockman Complete Works, meaning Atomic Planet had to translate a lot of tips and bonuses from moon language to something resembling English, but not quite. Pint-sized Russian hostage Kalinka offers tips throughout Mega Man 4, for example, and someone didn't check context before translating the poor girl. As a result, when I stand before a yawning spike pit she'll tell me, "Good thing I have Rush Jet." That's great. Er, can I have him back?

...Wait, scratch this post. While I was typing it, my husband got his review code for Bionic Command Rearmed (he kissed the cat in celebration), so Mega Man might be taking the weekend off.

Then again, does justice ever take a weekend off?

Related Links:

Mega Man 9 Goes Back To Your Roots. Way Back.
The Ten Greatest Classic Mega Man Levels, Part 1
For the Love of the Game: Rockman 7 FC

Yahtzee On E3: Are We Gaming in an Age of Uncreativity?

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 23:54:00 GMT

Like clockwork, the latest Zero Punctuation showed up on Wednesday afternoon. I think the gaming world shall go mad if Yahtzee misses a week. How are we ever to know that it's Wednesday?

Australia's grumpiest gamer weighed in on this year's E3 with a pretty hilarious ejaculation(!) of mild outrage: seeing as E3 2008 was as exciting as discount hamburger, Yahtzee had the right to punch the event in the solar plexus. He did bring up one point I've been thinking about: with the surge of sequels we've been seeing for established franchises, it almost seems as if no one's had an original game idea for a long time. Yahtzee makes mention of crazy old NES games that starred French chefs "riding on stickbugs and armed with guns that shot velociraptors."

It's a common complaint and it seems as if we're hearing it more than ever these days. It's not like there's reason to dismiss it as hyperbole, either. When the most unusual title at a big name trade show is a Mega Man title, it's time to descend into Hell and thaw out poor Satan.

I haven't decided if I'm totally in agreement with Yahtzee. I remember the NES very well, especially my family's weekend trips to rent games. My two brothers and I took turns with the weekly rentals. Pity the fool who picked up a second-rate platformer game because s/he wasn't renting anything else for three weeks. I quickly learned how not to become a victim. It was a painful journey full of disappointment, floaty controls and terrible tinny music because boy howdy, there was a lot of crap on the shelves of those Mom n Pop video stores.

I will admit that developers were more eager to try new ideas in gaming's infancy. Imagine if Miyamoto announced that he was turning the Zelda series into a sidescroller in this fertile age of fandom and Internet rage. The fandom popped a collective hernia when Link returned to his cartoon roots on the Gamecube--even though the gameplay for Wind Waker was not changed dramatically from Ocarina of Time.

We have comfortable formulas now and developers aren't eager to fix what ain't broke. Still, I don't believe gaming will stagnate. Yahtzee himself admits that Mirror's Edge looks fantastic and Fat Princess looks like a riot, overblown controversy aside.

If I can play a Mario Galaxy in between a batch of solid titles, I'm happy. Yeah, don't call on me to lead a rebellion against a corrupt Government or anything. I'll disappoint you like crazy.

Related Links:

Yahtzee and the Webcomics Plague
Yahtzee Rolls With the Big Dogs, Takes the Piss Out of GTA4
Sweaty, Oily Barbarian Men Are Waiting For Your Purchase

New Mega Man 9 Trailer: I'm Drowning in My Childhood

Nadia Oxford — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 00:18:00 GMT

Don't throw me a lifejacket, though. I'm quite happy here.

On its way to gearing up for E3, IGN posted a fresh new Mega Man 9 trailer. For starters, the trailer finally confirms that Mega Man 9 is in fact destined for PSN and XBLA as well as WiiWare. Game news outlets and even series creator Keiji Inafune have been back and forth about this. In a recent interview with GamesRadar, Inafune said "We haven’t announced a XBLA or PSN title yet. Do the fans want them?"

I guess he was playing around, that sly dog. I revere him.

The trailer includes a good deal of gameplay footage. Lots of pits, spikes, and those disappearing-reappearing blocks that used to haunt your childhood nightmares. I know a certain robot dog who will be fitted with his jet upgrade as soon as possible.

What's really thrilling to see make a return are the big colourful animal robots that would block your progress in Mega Man 2 and beyond. A circus elephant with a big red ball will be joining the mechanimal stable, which includes notables like Hot Dog from Mega Man 2, those damnable orange cats from Mega Man 3 and of course, Dragon. You know what game Dragon is from, right? He made you crap your Alf underwear when he first appeared. Don't deny it.

Little bits of the opening story are available in the trailer as well. Looks like Mega Man's dealing with a good ol' fashioned robot rebellion with just the slightest twist of intrigue: Dr Light has been framed for the latest party. Otherwise, as far as I can tell, there's no mysterious new heroes, no angst, no batty Biblical references. Good.

Other characters might be playable, though. Did you happen to spot Roll clinging onto the RushJet for dear life? It's funny because housekeeper robots are supposed to stay in the kitchen! Ha ha!

Spelunking Through Cave Story

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 21:29:00 GMT

Something in the air--I'm going to blame all that dang fireflower pollen blowing around out there--has me in a retro mood. For all the 3D delights I could be indulging in (my brother loaned me Guitar Hero III), I've recently made a happy return to Pixel's Cave Story.

If you haven't played Cave Story, drop what you're doing and download it. No, I don't care if you're performing CPR on your half-dead mother, you simply must experience one of the most endearing and well-balanced 2D platformers ever developed. It's easy to find and it's free. You have no excuse. No, I don't care if trafalmadorians are lifting you into their saucer right this minute.

Granted, I avoided Cave Story for years because the name sounded like some slow and winding "adventure" through a key-driven maze. "Cave Story" brings to mind cheap NES bargain-bin knockoffs that your well-meaning aunt would buy you at Christmas. Wow, thanks Auntie Shiela. I can't wait to throw this at the dog next time he gets into the garbage--I mean, I can't wait to play this.

As reality would have it, Cave Story is far more ambitious than its simple title lets on. Though it is freeware developed over the course of five years by one noble man (Pixel), Cave Story plays like the best of Mega Man, Gunstar Heroes and Metroid and is comparable in length to many of your favourite 2D adventures. It's not too short and it doesn't drag on. Its difficulty is adjustable depending on how you play it; there's no challenge selection, but you can steer away from--or towards--much pain depending on the choices you make and the weapons you choose.

If you're masochistic, you can literally choose to go to hell. Good luck with that.

With its simplistic but distinctive graphics and its rocking 8-bit sound library that deserves to be on every iPod in the nation, Cave Story will bring you joy, peace and love. It's certainly filled up the airless black void that used to be my heart.

Mega Man 9 Goes Back To Your Roots. Way Back.

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:00:00 GMT

If you grew up playing the Nintendo Entertainment System, then you also grew up with a persistent blue scamp named Mega Man. The adventures of the little boy robot and his red dog take us back to long hours spent in chilled suburban basements, stuffing our gobs with pizza while eluding Dr Wily's robots.

The Mega Man series has given birth to no less than six spin-off series over the past twenty years, taking us far away from those days of greasy control pads and cherry Kool-Aid. The last entry in the original series (as in, numerical sequels without any extra letters attatched to "Mega Man") was Mega Man 8, released over a decade ago. It was no surprise when recent whispers about Mega Man 9 were dismissed as rumour.

But lo, the August issue of Nintendo Power talks to series creator Keiji Inafune about the phantom game, which is a phantom no more. The original Mega Man is back. Literally. Mega Man 9 will feature NES-style graphics and will be available for download on Xbox Live, Playstation Network and as a Wii Ware title.

These are not "NES-style graphics" as in neon-shaded highlights slapped over old sprites that throb obsencely to pumping music. Looking at the screenshots in Nintendo Power will hit you so hard with memories of Mega Man 2, your teeth will rattle.

The simplicity is a pretty big jump back from the lush graphics of Mega Man 8. I mean, nostalgia is awesome, but dayumn.

Still, maybe this is what the gaming world needs. A budget-priced download that will doubtlessly provide at least a few hours of uncomplicated hardcore platforming. I know I'm due for my fix.

Oh, and what's a Mega Man title without its harem of Robot Masters? Mega Man 9's stable reportedly includes: Magma Man, Galaxy Man, Jewel Man, Concrete Man, Hornet Man, Plug Man(!!!!), Tornado Man and Splash Woman(???) .

I don't know what to say about Splash Woman. I guess I wanted to see a female robot master when I was eight years old, but I'm kind of over the gender inequality now. It's a good trade-off for blowing up evil robots.

And the less I speculate about Plug Man, the better.