61 Frames Per Second : bionic commando rearmed

Soon. So Soon: Bionic Commando Looks Even Better, Has Worrisome Dialog

John Constantine — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

We’ve had quite a year, haven’t we Bionic Commando? Treasured stolen moments last summer, when I first saw you soar in a full three dimensions, climbing to pristinely rendered heights never seen before. A rekindling of our youthful flirtations with Rearmed, a reminder that true love is timeless. You are so close now, Bionic Commando. I can hear your steel hand clanking against some ruined skyscraper like a whisper on the breeze, calling me to your summer embrace.

Yes, GRIN’s Bionic Commando sequel is going to be out in just one month, right as 61 Frames Per Second is celebrating its first birthday. In these new clips, you can see just how much its creators have polished the game in the past twelve months. It is gorgeous.

The last time I got my hands on Bionic Commando, it played well, but its levels plain didn’t shine like they do here. I am, however, concerned by some of the incidental background dialog in the first video. I try not to be a purist when it comes to sequels but a soldier saying, “I’m going to fuck you up!” doesn’t really jive with the tone set by Bionic Commando: Rearmed or even this game’s prologue comic book. I’ll reserve judgment until the game is in my arms.

Soon, my love. So, so soon.

Related links:

Bionic Commando Rearmed Fan Trailer
Nobody Puts Bionic Commando in A Corner
Design Resurrection: How Capcom Finally Proved That It’s Game and Not Graphics That Matters
Bionic Commando is Love: Bionic Commando Rearmed is Out. It Matters.
Gone Vertical: Hands-on Bionic Commando

Terminator Salvation: The Videogame More Terminator-y Than Terminator Salvation: The Movie

John Constantine — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 00:30:00 GMT

I’m in a bit of a pickle here. I do not think I can be trusted to make reasonable judgments of GRIN’s games. They made Bionic Commando: Rearmed. In a few months, they’ll have finished the new Bionic Commando. I can’t be trusted to talk about their games. I owe them too much. I apologize. Then again, I think I can give you a fair impression of GRIN’s Terminator Salvation. I got an early look at their tie-in, a prequel to the upcoming movie of the same name, at the beginning of the month. It doesn’t look like a bad game, not by any means. For a movie tie-in, it actually looks very good. But as a GRIN game, Terminator Salvation is a little disappointing.

Terminator Salvation is, like almost every other game made by GRIN, a third-person shooter. You play as John Connor and you run around a post-nuclear-apocalypse Los Angeles shooting evil red-eyed robots who don’t like you. You shoot the robots with shotguns and machine guns. To avoid getting shot by the robots, you hide behind walls, or take cover, if you will. A number of AI partners follow you around Los Angeles to help in shooting these robots, but you cannot give them direct orders. Their tactics work like this: if you go right, they will go left. There are on-rails shooting levels every now and again. That’s about it. From the three sections I got to see played, two early on-foot levels and one on-rails section, it all seemed competent. The shooting and cover seem to work. It looks nice, much as the other Xbox 360/PS3/PC games built on GRIN’s Diesel Engine do, even though the animation is still a little stiff. But there’s just no hook, nothing that makes Terminator Salvation distinguish itself from the rest of Gears-of-War-Clone crowd.

In an interview with Edge, GRIN’s CEO Bo Andersson said, "Our director, Ulf, who comes up with the ideas for our games, says that he'll do whatever IP where he has the opportunity to realise his new gameplay idea. If he's offered the next Terminator game, for example, he'll do it because he has a good gameplay mechanic thought out for it." Ulf’s got a good track record. GRIN’s Wanted: Weapons of Fate spices up third-person cover by having you constantly jumping and rolling around the environment to chain cover points together. Its shooting lets you curve bullets around obstacles to hit hidden enemies. Very novel. Their PC versions of Ghost Recon: Advance Warfighter 1 and 2, like Terminator, have you playing with a squad of AI partners, but you have direct control over their tactics, and you actually create a determined battle plan for your team at the beginning of a level. All of these little tweaks and twists on the exact styles of play in Terminator Salvation are missing, and there are no new ideas to replace them. I didn’t see Ulf’s “new gamplay idea” in this demo. I’m not saying that every game should have something as exciting as a grappling hook in it, but I expected something fresh.

I’ve got to give them one thing. The on-rails level demoed was a really swell use of the license. I’m no huge fan of Terminator. I love the original movie, like the second, loathe the third, and am completely indifferent to everything else Terminator-related, especially Terminator Salvation. The previews look fine, but where’s James Cameron’s awesome and bleak Los Angeles? McG’s human freedom fighters have assault helicopters and body armor and nice guns! They’re wearing make-up! It’s ridiculous. Terminator Salvation: The Videogame’s on-rails level, however, has you and your team piling into crappy, destroyed pick-up trucks, racing across crumbling city streets, and trying to shoot down one of the flying terminators. It looks like this:

Which is a whole lot like in this, between 1:32 and 1:40:

That’s pretty sweet.

(I lied. One thing Terminator-related I am not indifferent to is Summer Glau, who I would one day like to take to dinner and subsequently marry.)

Related links:

Dr. Spock vs. The Watchmen vs. Terminator: The New Movie Tie-In
Curveball: Hands-On With Wanted: Weapons of Fate
Trailer Review: Wanted
Gone Vertical: Hands-on Bionic Commando

Dr. Spock vs. The Watchmen vs. Terminator: The New Movie Tie-In

John Constantine — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Nostalgia, as Cole’s post on the ever-ubiquitous Final Fantasy VII so deftly illustrated, is a disease afflicting games criticism. It’s understandable why. The people writing about games today (not to mention the majority of people making them) came of age during videogames’ golden age. It’s no wonder fond memories color their perception of the entire medium. Nostalgia isn’t always a bad thing, especially when it inspires creativity. Just look at Bionic Commando Rearmed. But as Luc Sante says, “Nostalgia can be defined as a state of inarticulate contempt for the present and fear of the future.”

Me, I love the future. I’m a ceaseless optimist, fueled by the promise of tomorrow, I am. When I feel the symptoms of nostalgia (itchiness, aquaphobia, uncontrollably defending Battletoads, frothing at the mouth) taking over my brain, I remember movie tie-ins. I think about going to Pompey Video and plunking down four dollars to subject myself to The Rocketeer on NES. I think about buying Die Hard Trilogy as one of my first Playstation games. Then I vomit and, like an exhausted drunk, I feel a little bit better.

The movie tie-in is changing though. While you still see trash like Secret Level’s Iron Man game making millions, the big budget retail rush job isn’t the guaranteed success it used to be. Iron Man may have been a hit for Sega and Secret Level (providing the cash flow to finish the giant flop Golden Axe: Beast Rider), but The Incredible Hulk tie-in, released by Sega just a few months later, sold about as well as cans of Coke II. It isn’t just brand strength and high cost that makes tie-ins a greater risk. Against all odds, standards of quality are going up for consumers. Rather than release another over-budget bad game that fails like Superman Returns, EA decided to kill their The Dark Knight tie-in.

Warner Bros. Interactive, on the other hand, is trying two different strategies. The first is an economical twist on the old formula. The Watchmen: The End is Nigh, released just last week on PSN and Xbox Live to universally awful reviews, is the image of a traditional movie tie-in; a generic, artless beat ‘em up with familiar characters tacked on. This isn’t a success yet, but it was cheap to make and even cheaper to distribute. It’s a smart move that delivers the game directly to its intended audience — I’d wager the marketing speech describes them as “hip, techno-savvy hipster neo-nerds with strong brand familiarity” or something equally grotesque — and keeps the game away from retail competition. Now Paramount Interactive is seemingly following suit with their Star Trek tie-in.

Warner Bros.’ second approach is a bit more interesting. In the next two months, they’re publishing two full retail games, Wanted: Weapons of Fate and Terminator Salvation. Both games are being developed by GRIN, of Bionic Commando fame, and are built on the very same engine. Both are prequels, foregoing the constraints of movie plot adaptation, allowing the developer more creative leeway with the license. They are also both aimed to be short, around eight hours long a piece. By handing the games to a respected, proven developer, utilizing that developers pre-existing technology, Warner Bros.’ is trying to give their games a fighting chance in a competitive field by ensuring they have a modicum of quality. They’re acknowledging that their audience won’t put up with crap.

The future’s a brave new world, ain’t it? I don’t know if these new experiments in movie tie-in games will finally break the thirty-year old history of forgettable garbage, but it’s a start. And, dare I say, it shows a sign of maturity in the business of videogames. Not just in selling them, but in the demands of the people playing and making them.

Related links:

Design Resurrection: How Capcom Finally Proved That It’s Game and Not Graphics That Matters
Curveball: Hands-On With Wanted: Weapons of Fate
Maybe You Should Just Watch Them: Hands-On With Watchmen

Pole’s Big Adventure: Sega Rides the Retro Train, Takes Advantage of You

John Constantine — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:30:00 GMT

A couple of weeks back, Sega Japan launched a countdown website sporting a peculiarly recognizable icon: a pixilated mushroom. Instead of the spotted red or green associated with the company’s one-time rivals, this mushroom was purple with yellow spots. It was an ugly little blighter and fueled all sorts of speculation as to what would be shown at the end of the countdown. An 8-bit style Sonic & Mario platformer where Robotnik has poisoned all the mushrooms! An 8-bit style game where Alexx Kidd and Mario open a day spa and compete for Birdo, Athena, and Dig Dug’s affections!

Okay. Fair enough. I am the only man who thought Sega might be making either of those games. The 8-bit part was spot on though. The game turned out to be Pole’s Big Adventure, an WiiWare original aping early Famicom games in the spirit of Retro Game Challenge. The funky looking mushroom’s a big hint as to what Pole’s Big Adventure is all about, namely messing with preconceived notions based on Super Mario Bros. You don’t break bricks with your fist, you break them by shooting them, and the same goes for getting treats out of question boxes. Go down a pipe, immediately pop back up covered in… goo? The video isn’t clear on what you’re covered in. And when you do find that mushroom out there, it will make you grow until you die. Pretty clever there, Sega.

Pole’s Big Adventure isn’t the most brilliant parody, but it’s a noteworthy change from the usual vintage gaming send up. Playing on the most recognizable tropes in gaming history is a unique hook amidst the recent 8-bit design renaissance. Bionic Commando Rearmed and Legend of Kage 2 are expert examinations on old play models, but none of them are concerned with subverting a players nostalgia-born familiarity. It’ll be worth playing Pole’s Big Adventure solely to find out how far it goes in subverting that familiarity. And unlike most parodies, Pole’s is a full game.

Head over to Siliconera to check out another video, featuring pipe goo goodness.

Related Links:

Design Resurrection: How Capcom Finally Proved That It’s Game and Not Graphics That Matters
Don’t Call It Retro: Mega Man 9 and Design Resurrection
Follow Up: Mega Man 9 and Design Resurrection Part 2
More Downloadable Remakes! More, Says I!

Bionic Commando Rearmed Fan Trailer

Nadia Oxford — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:27:00 GMT

”Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.”

“This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

“Your number's up! Monster!!”

I think we're all agreed on which famous quote deserves to echo through the generations. Sadly, Rad Spencer will probably never have his chance on the big screen, but at least artistic justice can be served through the Internet. A cool person named OzShadow put together a fan trailer for a Bionic Commando “movie” with footage and sound from Bionic Commando Rearmed.

We have to count on movies to teach our kids about thawed-out dictators who stab their closest associates in the back before being done in by a gooey head shot, because God knows they don't learn any important history in school.

Related Links:

10 Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead of Working: Bionic Commando Rearmed
Bionic Commando Rearmed: T-Minus One Week
Bionic Commando Is Love: Bionic Commando In Eighteen Minutes

10 Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead Of Working: Bionic Commando Rearmed

Nadia Oxford — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 02:14:00 GMT

Having grown up with two brothers and personally scoring somewhere in the negatives on the official Femininity Chart, you would think that Bionic Commando would have found its way into my Nintendo library somehow. Alas, no. Though I was always aware of Rad Spencer and his important contribution to history (making Hitler's head and secret headquarters EXPLOD), I didn't adopt any fondness for Bionic Commando until I watched my husband do a playthrough. My eyes followed that swaying red-headed soldier like a pendulum. Where do I sign up for the Bionic Harem?

(And what did I just say about scoring in the negatives on the official Femininity Chart?)

I tried to take control of Rad. When my attempts to make him swing out of the television screen and into my lap failed, I decided I'd at least try to get him through his no-jump adventure. I couldn't get through Area 01. It was an embarassing disaster and Hitler won. I figured Bionic Commando was simply something you had to be born into if you wanted to stand any chance of finishing it.

Time went by, stealing a drop of my life with every tick, and there dawned an age (Now) wherein game developers learned the value of nostalgia. Remakes and revamps of old classics, they reasoned, would send twenty- and- thirty-somethings running to Playstation Network and Xbox Marketplace like sows to the trough. Indeed, we sucked it all down, but there's no shame in indulging in a high-quality remake like Bionic Commando Rearmed.

Grin's re-imagining of Bionic Commando made the game far more accessible difficulty-wise, but without sacrificing too much of the old skool pain we all enjoy getting reamed with. I found it a great middle-of-the-road experience, plus the game was thick with fantasitc character design and humour. Rad is just so cool. I wish he'd come to my birthday party.

The spankin'-new 3D Bionic Commando is due out next year. Looks like Rad Spencer's carefree ways and awesome sunglasses have gone the way of the '80s, but heck, I'm still game.

Related Links:

Derrick's Top 13 Games of 2008--Part 1
Top 5 Reasons Why 2009 Will Bring the End of Lists
My Top 10 of 2008 In No Particular Order: Grand Theft Auto IV

Klonoa: Careful, Namco. You Tread On My Dreams.

John Constantine — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMT

I’m not a purist. No, really. When it comes to classics being revisited, modernized, or remade, I don’t need every facet of the past perfectly preserved just the way I remember it in order to get a desperate nostalgic thrill. I delight in Mega Man 9 because it’s a great game whose presentation and technological limitations are carefully made design choices, not because it’s a new NES game. I’ll let you in on a secret: I actually like Mega Man 7 and 8. Yeah, that’s right. I think they’re good games. Not as good as their forebears, but all the same. When the new Bionic Commando was announced last year, even before Rearmed was revealed, I didn’t balk at Radd Spencer’s Adam-Duritz-makeover. I think the new look is cool, especially the way his dreads flow behind him like delicate willow branches as he soars through dystopian cityscapes and… oh! Excuse me. What I’m getting at is that not everything from yesterday is sacred. Some things, especially in games, should be changed. Final Fantasy III DS is a good thing. The NES original is just too slow now. Tomb Raider Anniversary preserves a revolutionary game’s best qualities while also making it, you know, playable. In with the new, out with the old may not be an all-encompassing maxim, but it’s more often than not good advice.

That said, Namco, if you go through with this, I will hurt you.

The Raw Meat Cowboy himself over at GoNintendo received a survey from Namco-Bandai today, the subject of which was their impending Wii remake of Klonoa: Door to Phantomile. RMC has smartly inferred that Namco is testing the waters to see if Klonoa should be localized for North America. One of the questions in the survey asks which of these two character designs is preferable:

Yes, there on the right is Klonoa, already slightly altered to more closely resemble his 21st century self than the Klonoa of 1998. It’s great, he’s looking good. On the left, is some monstrosity, a Japanese Poochie, his raised ears giving off a deliberate whiff of the EXTREME. He has just enough buckles and straps to satisfy a Nomura. The implication is that Namco thinks this bastard would be more suited to North America’s indelicate palette.

Now, there are going to be some vague spoilers here, so beware. Even beyond the fantastic platforming, level design, and soundtrack, what makes Door to Phantomile so special is that it subverts expectation. Klonoa himself, and his introduction in the game, portray complete innocence, a cutesy cartoon anthropomorphic at play in a pleasant fantasy world. But the game quickly becomes melancholic, and by game’s end, the pleasant Disney aesthetic is pulled away, violently, to reveal that the story is, in fact, a tragedy. The game is about a loss of innocence, and the character’s design is essential to that theme. This redesign places the character more firmly in a recognizable, and marketable, anime tradition, where existential angst is an expected component. Remaking Klonoa in this image completely betrays the point of Shuichi Sakurazaki’s story.

Don’t do this, Namco.

(Link: GoNintendo)

Related links:

Where is Shuichi Sakurazaki, Creator of Ninja Gaiden?
Klonoa's Truimphant(?) Return
Christmas in Nintendoland: The Tokyo Conference
The Tale of the Identical Box Art
Lowering the Standard: Why Nintendo’s Hardcore vs. Casual Commitments Aren’t the Problem
Abominations of Technology: Pre-Rendered Graphics

Continuing the Old-School Conversation

Bob Mackey — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 23:00:00 GMT

Boy, we here at 61FPS sure are thinking with a hive mind today--and it's all due to a lovable, fast-talking British fellow who's already popped up a few times on our blog in the past 24 hours. Needless to say, the reactions of our own bloggers have been intriguing, so I thought I'd continue the old-school conversation with my own post.

First of all, retro is undoubtedly back in style--if that isn't contradictory enough for you. I was going to begin this post by going through a list of the most recent retro remakes/revivals, but there's just too damn many. Right now, I'm completely stuck in the past with Mega Man 9 and the DS remake of Dragon Quest IV, and I couldn't be happier. As much as I try to resist the crippling powers of nostalgia, it does get to me; and, in some ways, I realize the tragedy of buying my childhood back, one game at a time.

It's safe to say that I'm on the same page as John and Nadia when it comes to Bionic Commando: Rearmed--but there are certain retro quirks that irk me when they appear in a modern-day game. Take the concept of "lives," for instance; it's something that I've wanted to write an in-depth article about for a long time (and I just may do that!). I'm completely against punishing a player with tedium (i.e., replaying long stretches of a game) for screwing up; but if Mega Man 9 didn't have a lives system, it would feel very, very wrong. Despite it kicking my ass up and down the block for a week, there are certain old-school ideas that work best in certain contexts.

On the other hand, a game like the Wii's Zack and Wiki absolutely did not need a lives system--especially when the developers seemed so keen on murdering you for experimentation and exploring; not a good idea when finicky Wiimote controls can screw you at every turn. And look at Super Mario Galaxy--what exactly were the point of lives in that game? I've never had a game over in Galaxy, but I'm sure losing all of my lives would provide me with nothing but a brief period of inconvenience as I loaded up my old save. Is that supposed to encourage me to play better?

I guess what I'm saying is we should keep the old mechanics where they belong, and revamp the ones that would be inexcusable today. Bionic Commando: Rearmed did a great job at this; what do you guys think?

Related Links

Bionic Commando is Love: Bionic Commando Rearmed is Out. It Matters.
One Crazy Summer of Arcade
Yahtzee Rolls With the Big Dogs, Takes the Piss Out of GTA4

Yahtzee Presents A New Angle On Nostalgia (Sort Of)

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:05:00 GMT

While Mr Constantine gets over his case of the vapours, I'd like to offer my own perspective on Yahtzee's scorn towards Mrs Rad Spencer. One bit in particular caught my interest.

(::Pipe puff::)

Most of North America had the honour of growing up alongside the Nintendo Entertainment System. A great deal of Europe, if my video game lore is up to snuff, did not. I remember my older brother coming home from a visit to Ireland and telling me about how everyone there still played Atari 2600. I was all like, "No waaaaay!" Then the UK's ultra-sweet take on Smarties rebelled against my stomach and I vomited everywhere.

In his latest rant against Bionic Commando and all things fun, Yahtzee briefly mentions that his household was a Commodore 64 household--in other words, he didn't grow up with Bionic Commando or a lot of our favourite 8-bit treasures. Having grown up with a Commodore 64 as well as a Nintendo, I have no trouble admitting that one system offered a complex gaming experience full of adventure and thrills whereas the other one offered me a lot of eyestrain thanks to glitchy graphics and scratched disks. Try to guess which system is which. You may be surprised.

I agree with Yahtzee when he says that way too many of us look back at our old games through rose-tinted glasses. A lot of NES games--and gosh, even games on the SNES, a system I love with all my heart--were terrible. But not all of them. Certainly not Bionic Commando, which may be difficult and frustrating at times, but is not badly put-together in the least.

Asking why Rad can't just jump over objects instead of grappling past them is like asking why we can't dig holes in water. It's just not the way things are done. We don't have to sit around and play the Game of Life. It's a cheap, plastic scaled-down version of a typical grown-up's boring lot. But there's something obscenely fun about it, so play we must.

Still, it's interesting to see how Yahtzee's place of birth affected his outlook on the games we love. I disagree with his view on Bionic Commando and Bionic Commando Rearmed, but it's also possible that our early years of gaming implants vital ideas of what a game should be. Being raised on different systems means different points of views.

Or Yahtzee's just flat-out wrong. That's possible too.

Related Links:

Nobody Puts Bionic Commando in a Corner
Yahtzee and the Webcomics Plague
Sweaty, Oily Barbarian Men Are Waiting For Your Purchase

Me and My Bitchin' Backlog

Bob Mackey — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Don't lie to me. If you're a gamer, you've got a backlog. And for most of us, these stacks of unplayed and/or unfinished games are a testament to poor choices, personal failures, and conspicuous amounts of disposable income/growing debt. The first step in all of this is to admit that we have a problem, and that's exactly the point of this post. I will air my dirty laundry for all to see, only if you promise to do the same. Please abide by the rules of Web 2.0, and no one gets hurt.

What follows is a list of shame, my reasons for giving up, and a prediction of if I'll ever go back and play with these little digital orphans. I hope this doesn't take longer than I think it will.

Game: Final Fantasy XII

Reason for Quitting: Too much grinding/something about an evil twin.

Will I Go Back: I already started again today. THE CYCLE BEGINS ANEW.

Game: Etrian Odyssey 2

Reason for Quitting: The first game was difficult in a way you could respect; the sequel exaggerates the difficulty to the point of tedium.

Will I Go Back: Probably. I finished the first game, so I have the kind of mental problems that will keep me coming back to the sequel.

Game: Final Fantasy Tactics A2

Reason for Quitting: I think I put it down for the Final Fantasy IV remake, which was probably a mistake.

Will I Go Back: It's likely. Final Fantasy Tactics is the perfect game to play when stuck in mass-transit.

Game: Zack and Wiki

Reason for Quitting: God did I love it, but that death mechanic really tried to destroy the fun at every opportunity.

Will I Go Back: I'm so close to the end, it would be pretty stupid if I didn't.

Game: Half-Life 2:Episode 2

Reason for Quitting: It's pretty intense, and I need to be in the right mood for something like that.

Will I Go Back: I have vowed to do this before Episode 3, so I've got at least another year.

Game: Osu! Tatake! Ouendan 2

Reason for Quitting: The music isn't as good as the first game, and I think the gameplay itself has become less of a novelty.

Will I Go Back: One day, if only for import gaming street cred.

Game: Bionic Commando:Rearmed

Reason for Quitting: The last level: huge jerk.

Will I Go Back: I have to say yes, or some people on 61 FPS may hurt me.

Note: This does not include the games I have that I'd like to replay; that material belongs on a longer, though equally-compelling, list. But before I do that, tell me of your own secret shames.

Related Links:

Games You Keep Coming Back To
Final Fantasy IV DS: Love, Hope and Betrayal For the Busy Commuter
Bionic Commando is Love: Bionic Commando Rearmed is Out. It Matters.

One Crazy Summer of Arcade

Bob Mackey — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Today's LIVE Arcade release of Castle Crashers and the recent trend of incoming college freshmen gathering in front of me to learn writing can only mean one thing: summer is over. But man, what a summer it was. So many memories made while only moving slightly to avoid bedsores.

Of course, I speak of Microsoft's five-week-long "Summer of Arcade," an event that saw the back-to-back release of five awesome Xbox Live Arcade titles: Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2, Braid, Bionic Commando: Rearmed, Galaga Legions, and Castle Crashers. Sure, it started a little late, and it neglected to include a few of the more recent remakes (Commando 3 and 1942: Joint Strike got just a little bit screwed by the timing), but I can't remember a time that so much multi-genre awesomeness was packed into such an affordable month.

More importantly, though, I think it's a look at things to come for the future of gaming.

I'll admit that I haven't gotten around to getting Galaga and Castle Crashers yet--blame the deviousness of both Braid and Bionic Commando for this. But the thing is, I plan on eventually getting all of the Summer of Arcade titles because they're perfect for my life right now. It's not that I'm exceptionally busy--I'm just suffering epic-induced burnout that might have been brought on by playing Grand Theft Auto IV far past the point of enjoyment. Really, the thought of any game taking up more than 10 hours of my time makes me long for the simple joys that XBox LIVE has brought me over the past month. April was the last time I bought a full-priced 360 game, and I really can't see myself doing it again until the holidays.

All of this has made me ponder the following discussion-worthy question: is XBox LIVE Arcade making us rethink the current philosophy of bank-breaking, world-destroying, blockbuster games? I'm content to live in a world where a new (ostensibly) NES Mega Man is a celebrated certainty, rather than the dream of a ROM-hacking madman.

Related Links:

Yahtzee Says, Support Your Local Independent Developer (He's Right).
Bionic Commando is Love: Bionic Commando Rearmed is Out. It Matters.
Mega Man 9 Goes Back To Your Roots. Way Back.

Quickies: Homestar Ruiner

Derrick Sanskrit — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

While we were all ridiculously pumped for Bionic Commando: Rearmed last week, there was another highly-anticipated downloadable game to tide us over for the first half of the week: Telltale Games' point-and-click WiiWare adventure Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People Episode One: Homestar Ruiner. Odds are good that if you're on the internet you're already somewhat familiar with the world of Homstar Runner and its brash luchador masked star Strong Bad, and, if you're anything like me, you were with them from fhqwhgads and quit right around Cheat Commandos. A quick glance through the Toons section of the site shows that, like The Simpsons and Family Guy, I'm probably better off for having missed the past few years of redundancy. How does this bode for the first official H*R video game?

The good news is the game is really funny. Much like their past efforts with Sam & Max and Bone, the team at Telltale Games has really paid close attention to their source material and delivered easily the funniest and most thoughtful Homestar Runner cartoon in years. The bad news is that this is a game, not a cartoon, and all the parts where you're not just kicking back watching the characters be incredibly rude to each other are... well... less than fun. In traditional point-and-click tradition, you, as Strong Bad, must collect all sorts of objects around town which you will use elsewhere to solve puzzles and progress the story or otherwise goof off. The entire game (episode 1 of 5) takes about two hours to play through, and much of that is wandering about trying collected items on different objects in the chance that it will cause something to happen. That's not to say there aren't a few fun sections of actual gameplay. I was particularly smitten with the goofy "stealth" section, and "The Race To The End Of The Race" was a pleasant blend of problem solving and action minigame, still, there is not much to justify Homstar Ruiner's existance as a game rather than a really well-produced cartoon.

Perhaps what is most troubling is the cost of the game. PC users, Telltale's primary demographic, can pick up each episode for $8US or subscribe to the full season of five for only $35 while Wii owners pay $10 for each episode, though I didn't notice much Wiimote integration. Buying all five will cost the same as a brand-new copy of Mario Kart Wii, Super Smash Bros Brawl or most any other AAA Wii title except without any of the fancy packaging to show it off. Additionally, SBCG4APE1HR takes up more space in the Wii's internal memory than any other WiiWare game to date. Add to this the fact that several players have reported a game-freezing glitch and that I myself noticed numerous graphical glitches and this does not feel worth the price. A $10 downloadable console game these days is Bionic Commando: Rearmed, PixelJunk Eden or Paper Mario. In the past, Telltale has been nice enough to produce a disc version of their Sam & Max seasons for customers who purchased all of the individual episodes and I would feel more inclined to continue supporting this series if I knew SBCG4AP would get a similar treatment for Wii since I'm paying full price already. It's certainly more fun so far than Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law, which itself was little more than an animated movie with occassional breaks for pointing and clicking. It's a shame that none of these new point-and-click Wii adventures are nearly as engaging as Zack & Wiki...

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Worlds of Power: Books That Worried Your Parents and Pissed Off Your Teachers

Nadia Oxford — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:45:00 GMT

My weekend sojourn with Bionic Commando Rearmed's Mr Rad Spencer reminded me of all things good, pure and 8-bit. I even remembered that my husband owns most of the Worlds of Power books, novel "adaptations" of popular Nintendo games from Back in the Day™. He transferred them over to our new basement apartment home after we were married; it's a dowry my parents are proud of, I'm sure.

Alas, I cannot find the Bionic Commando adaptation, but if I were to guess, I'd say Rad Spencer wasn't allowed to shoot anyone with his awesome guns. I did find Ninja Gaiden, which is dedicated to "the Ninja in everyone's dad." Holy shit, I thought my dad just sold alarm systems. This is awesome news.

I don't know if you kids today have book fairs, but they were a staple of my school days. My generation was not in love with the printed word and teachers did their best to make sure we didn't fall into any affairs. They policed our book fair purchases, declaring comic books to be verboten "trash," especially comic books about the Ninja Turtles or that rude Bart Simpson. The cutting-edge Nintendo Entertainment System was the worst enemy of my grade school marms, so F.X. Nine's Worlds of Power was book fair contraband, too.

I think any teacher who discourages a kid from reading material aimed at him is missing the point of their job, but I have to admit that Worlds of Power is junk food for the mind. The characterisation is bad, the writing is overly-simple and the transparent attempts to avoid references to violence are laughable and even insulting. Everyone knows that Ryu's father dies at the start of Ninja Gaiden; it was console gaming's first vault into storytelling beyond Mario staggering across eight kingdoms in a heart-breaking search for his princess. The Worlds of Power books, desperate to win the approval of adult authorities (not bloody likely), minimised human deaths in its pages and in fact brought Ryu's father back to life.

No. Bad. Jesus brings forth the dead, not F.X. Nine.

I'm going to search very hard for our Bionic Commando book. If I fail, I'm sure I can find some substitutes and we'll all go on a G-rated literary journey. In the meantime, enjoy 8-Bit Lit, an excellent 1UP feature that will learn you some game novel history and is dedicated to the bionic soldier in everyone's mom.

Related Links:

Watcha Playing: Ninja Gaiden Dragon Sword
Gone Vertical: Hands-On Bionic Commando
There Is Nothing Funny About Bionic Commando Funny Books

What I'm Playing This Weekend: Mega Man Anniversary Collection

Nadia Oxford — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 22:37:00 GMT

I am a rotten Mega Man fan. I only acquired the Mega Man Anniversary Collection last week. But wait! Put down the cat o' nine tails!I have an excuse!

Um...

See, when the Gamecube and Playstation 2 crouched at the starting line for Big Shiny Console Love Race!! 2000, we bet on the Gamecube. Nintendo's purple lunchbox proved to be the wrong choice for anyone who wanted to pick up Mega Man Anniversary Collection, because the developers at Atomic Planet decided to reverse Mega Man's jump and shoot buttons--"A" being shoot and "B" being jump. Anyone weaned on the Blue Bomber might understandably be traumatised at this nonsensical reversal, especially since Atomic Planet thoughtfully excluded the ability to change controller settings.

So here we are now, a little less poor than in previous years (holy cow, not by much) and able to afford a Playstation 2. A friend gave us the superior PS2 adaptation of Mega Man Anniversary Collection and now my husband and I are taking turns appreciating the classics instead of engaging in social interaction with our human peers.

Presentation-wise, Mega Man Anniversary Collection could certainly stand a tweak or three. Parts of the game is based on the Japan-exclusive Rockman Complete Works, meaning Atomic Planet had to translate a lot of tips and bonuses from moon language to something resembling English, but not quite. Pint-sized Russian hostage Kalinka offers tips throughout Mega Man 4, for example, and someone didn't check context before translating the poor girl. As a result, when I stand before a yawning spike pit she'll tell me, "Good thing I have Rush Jet." That's great. Er, can I have him back?

...Wait, scratch this post. While I was typing it, my husband got his review code for Bionic Command Rearmed (he kissed the cat in celebration), so Mega Man might be taking the weekend off.

Then again, does justice ever take a weekend off?

Related Links:

Mega Man 9 Goes Back To Your Roots. Way Back.
The Ten Greatest Classic Mega Man Levels, Part 1
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More Downloadable Remakes! More, Says I!

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 23:04:00 GMT

Bionic Commando Rearmed is apparently excellent, not like there was ever any doubt (well...maybe just a titch).

Chances are good that Mega Man 9 will be playable as well, which leads me to believe that Capcom has a pretty good idea about how to handle its remakes. I would like to see more.

On one hand, the state of the gaming world is making me brood like Yahtzee. Why are the most exciting games of today remakes and sequels to old franchises? Am I a dirty person for being more excited about ancient gaming lore than Mirror's Edge?

I don't know if there are any rabid Osamu Tezuka fans among us, but the whole ordeal reminds me a bit of the Phoenix manga series. In it, mankind's progress sputtered and stalled because he became nostalgic for the past instead of trying to innovate for the future. Eventually, the human race decayed and crumbled before the master computers running the world burnt civilization to the ground with hydrogen bombs. Gamers' pining for the past might be a grim prophecy. We should tread carefully and be wary.

On the other hand...hey, Bionic Commando Rearmed!

I personally hope this opens the door for, um, remakes of remakes. I adored Mega Man Powered Up and Mega Man Maverick Hunter X for the PSP, but both of them sold poorly. This may or may not have something to do with the PSP being owned by next to no one (okay, that's hyperbole. It's owned by two people). Keiji Inafune had planned to re-make both the Mega Man and Mega Man X series on the PSP, but the project is now in limbo.

Will the likes of Bionic Commando Rearmed bring hope back to the children (me)? It's doubtlessly cheaper to produce an online game versus shipping, marketing and distributing a hard copy. Will Mega Man Powered Up get a second chance?

Just so you know, I'm willing to smother you all in your sleep for a chance at Mega Man Powered Up 2.

Related Links:

Mega Man 9 Bosses Look Like Mega Man 9 Bosses
The Five Greatest Enhanced Remakes-And Five That Weren't So Great, Part 2
Gone Vertical: Hands-On Bionic Commando

Emergency Rescue!! Super Joe!!

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:55:00 GMT

If you're ever looking for a very poor lunch idea, might I suggest two Red Bulls and a package of dehydrated mango slices?

One thing Americans need to be less shy about is singing along to superhero ballads. The Japanese, on the other hand, are really fantastic about belting out anthems for their heroes. Bear witness to any opening for any shonen anime or programme. Very few clock in at less than a minute and most of them go on for a minute and a half. All of them are enthusiastic: the singer is always a super-energetic Japanese guy who bellows as if this rubber monster-throttling knight sprang from his own loins.

It pleases me to say that Capcom has captured the spirit of Bionic Commando perfectly with its sentai-flavoured trailer for Bionic Commando Rearmed. Are you ready to blow up Hitler's head, kids? Please pray for the success of Radd Spencer for best luck!

Related Links:

Gone Vertical: Hands On Bionic Commando
Bionic Commando Rearmed Delayed, 61FPS Breaks Stuff, Is Happy About Soundtrack
There Is Nothing Funny About Bionic Commando Funny Books