61 Frames Per Second : brain age

Newsflash: Your DS Isn't Making You Smarter

Bob Mackey — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:00:00 GMT

It was almost three years ago that Nintendo's Brain Age hit the DS in America, bringing with it promises of increased mind power, as well as several dozen copycats. Like many others, I was caught up in brain training hysteria in mid-2006, though the novelty of tracking my progress at a handful of mini-games didn't really last more than a few weeks. But I guess in the long run, dropping my regiment of mind exercises didn't matter, now that there's more news of Brain Age's general uselessness as a grey matter stimulant. According to a report from Joystiq, "Consumer group Which assembled a panel of three neuroscientists to test the ideas that brain training games improve memory and help prevent dementia. The panel found 'weak' or no evidence to support the claims."

Of course, it's doubtful that anyone takes the claims (mostly, "for entertainment purposes only") of Brain Age seriously enough that this news will effect their life in any meaningful way. In fact, the intro of the game more or less proves its general valuelessness as a brain trainer; when Dr. Kawashima shows you the amount of prefrontal cortex activity that happens when you engage in one of Brain Age's reading activities, you don't have to be a neuroscientist to realize it might be easier to cut out the middleman and just pick up a book. And if you happen to be a nerd with an interest in how video games make us think (I'm not naming names), you'd know from books like James Paul Gee's What Videogames Have to Teach Us About Learning and Literacy that video games throw us into environments that require constant decision-making to solve problems, regardless of their content.

Besides, it's really hard to shake the icky aftertaste that comes with any adventure in edutainment.

A Change of Paint For Nintendo

Derrick Sanskrit — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Industry leader Nintendo has made a lot of changes recently, many for the better from a financial standpoint. Their current handheld, the Nintendo DS, introduced the radical concept of two screens (DS does stand for Dual-Screen, after all), one of which was touch-sensative. Their current home console, the Wii, did away with excessive cords and buttons in favor of a wireless motion-enabled controller. Both are decidedly less-powerful than their competitors' machines. Both introduced methods of play entirely unseen before in mainstream gaming. Both were initially scoffed at as risky gambles and almost certain failures. Both have ushered in a whole new demographic of casual gamers of all ages. Both have been outselling all competition for a long, long time.

And so with all of this innovation and family-friendliness coming from Nintendo and not its rivals, it seems a minor facelift was in order for Nintendo as a corporation. The following press release was sent out recently by Nintendo PR:

Dear Media Partner,

For several years, a new generation of Wii and Nintendo DS games have adorned themselves with a new logo, in discrete grey.

In various publications the former logo, with red lettering, can still be seen. In the event that you have not already done so, we would like to sincerely ask you to now only use the current, gray Nintendo logo.

Yours sincerely,

Your friendly Nintendo PR team.

While I had noticed the gray Nintendo logo on the packaging for my Wii and DS, I had not realized this was an official change. The Nintendo logo sometimes appeared white on black backgrounds, and having a red logo on those pristine white boxes would surely distract from the fashionable product photos. The change to gray certainly made aesthetic sense in those instances, but as a corporate rebranding? I'm not yet sure how I feel about that. The gray logo is decidedly colder and more modern than the classic red, but is that what Nintendo realy wants these days? While the big N has always strived to be all-ages appropriate, they've never succeeded in that goal moreso than in the present. Housewives are playing Wii Fit and Brain Age, grandparents are playing Wii Sports, little kids are playing Mario Kart and Nintendogs. Housewives love little accent colors, grandparents might have a hard time seeing such a subtle gray and kids love bright colors. Okay, those were just stereotypes, but you see what I mean, right? Maybe now is not the best time for corporate subtlety. More people love the Nintendo brand than ever these days. Maybe we shouldn't be trying to have the logo just blend in. What do you guys think?

Related Articles:
Nintendo Might Just Hate You
Why Is Super Mario Bros. Fun?
What Games Actually Appeal To Casual Gamers
Two Years In: The Wii's Feats of Strength and its Disappointments

NSFW: The Top Five Game-Based Pornos

John Constantine — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Seriously. Not safe for work.

As they used to say back on the farm, if it exists on this here planet, you can be cocksure there’s a porno based on it. Okay, you caught me. I didn’t grow up on a farm. I grew up in the middle of a lot of farms though, and I’m telling you, people on those farms used to say this all the time. The past twelve years of browsing the internet have taught me that this age-old maxim is absolutely true. Hollywood movie parodies have been a rich and lasting resource for triple-x features forever, birthing immortal classics like Edward Penishands, so videogames seem like a no-brainer. That’s not even taking into consideration modern gaming’s largely Japanese origins and that country’s penchant for all manner of costume-related perversions. We at 61 Frames Per Second, being the powerful cultural critics we are, have compiled this list of the top five Game-Based Pornos from east and west. Be warned: continuing to read may cause embarrassment for humanity, uncontrollable laughter, and occasional revulsion.

#5) Super Hornio Bros.

The image above is an internet staple, the “film” an affront against the senses. Yes, shortly after Nintendo allowed Bob Hoskins to play the world’s most recognizable gaming icon on the silverscreen, director Buck Adams cast Ron Jeremy as Hornio, the overalls-clad plumber star of Super Hornio Bros. Rumor has it that the day the video shipped to adult boutiques across the land, Shigeru Miyamoto threw up for over twelve hours straight and was institutionalized for a month.

#4) Many, Many Tifa Lockhart of Final Fantasy VII Videos

Final Fantasy VII was the RPG that changed the world, making cinematic presentation an integral part of game design and bringing role-playing out of the basement and into the mainstream. Most people say this is because of the epic for-its-time presentation. I say it was because Squaresoft decided to put giant boobs in it. The character of Tifa Lockhart, barely clothed and sporting some serious back-problem-causers, was a shameless move to sex-up the series and, unsurprisingly, it worked. There are literally hundreds of pornographic films in Japan starring actresses dressed up like Tifa (the pictured title spices things up even more with the star playing even more game stars, like Darkstalkers’ Morrigan.) For the record, I only know that many exist after research for this article. Seriously…

#3) WhoreLore – World of Whorecraft and Age of Bonan

WhoreLore is a special case because, like its multiple inspirations, it’s persistent. Formerly known as the World of Whorecraft, WhoreLore makes episodic, eerily accurate hardcore fare based on Blizzard’s World of Warcraft and Funcom’s recently released Age of Conan. They don’t go to the point of listing what kind of stat losses the actors experience as they disrobe, but the costumes, make-up, and dialogue are spot on. Bonan even goes so far as to literally recreate the opening mission of Age of Conan. For anyone out there feeling some kind of shame for their love of MMOs, don’t. Porn stars are just like you and are, apparently, even nerdier.

#2) Geki Fit

and

#1) Chinpo o Kitaeru Otona no Ingenware Training (Dick Drilling Adult's Lewd Word Self Training)

Like I said before, everything eventually becomes subject matter for porn. Everything. But our number one and two entries have left me incredulous. They are wholly strange, totally silly, and utterly Japanese. Both are based Nintendo’s most recent successes, specifically their non-games. These are lifestyle enhancers more than goal-oriented, character-driven “games”, which makes the smut they’ve inspired even more peculiar. Number two is Geki Fit. Inspired by Wii Fit, it is one-hundred and fifteen minutes of lewd yoga poses viewed from increasingly voyeuristic camera angles. There isn’t even any nudity. I’m not making this up.

Number one is Chinpo o Kitaeru Otona no Ingenware Training. Translated as Dick Drilling Adult's Lewd Word Self Training, it’s based on the Nintendo DS phenomenon, Brain Age. Yes, that’s right. It’s porn based on WORD PUZZLES AND MATH! Have you ever played these Brain Age games, dear reader? A disembodied, polygonal head quizzes you repeatedly with brain teasers and then judges your intelligence. I can’t even begin to imagine what this DVD is like. Does it ask you to read out loud? Does it ask you to memorize as many words as possible in thirty seconds? I have nightmares about people using this as a marital aid.

Nintendo, next time you’re trying to think of a clever name for a line of videogames, do not call them “Touch Generations”. Look what you did.

Many thanks to Kotaku, J-List, 1P Start, and Whorelore in the compilation of this staggering achievement in journalism.

Related links:
The Ten Greatest Classic Mega Man Levels
The Ten Videogames That Should Have Been Controversial
The Ten Greatest Opening Levels in Gaming History
The Ten Most Adventurous Sequels
The Ten Greatest Fire Levels

The 61FPS Review: Wii Fit Part 1

John Constantine — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Written by Derrick Sanskrit

I found myself cycling through all the photos on my hard drive this past weekend, remembering all the good times I had in college and the wacky stuff I've done in the years since. What I didn't expect to see, though, was the radical change in my appearance. I am in no way obese but I'm noticeably lumpier than my sleek and slim sophomore self. My nightly routine of sit-ups was replaced by senior thesis work. Then came the workaday world of sitting on my ass and eating greasy food. I'm not looking to lose a lot of weight or have rippling biceps, and I sure as heck don't have the time or energy to go join a gym. I want an easy way to define my body a little better and have fun doing it.

I got my copy of Nintendo's Wii Fit a few days ago. This new "game" uses a scale-like board that you stand on to track your balance as you play through various activities designed to help you work on your muscles and posture. Here’s what I think after the first three days:

First, this software is designed to be relaxing. The music is gentle, the colors are bright but subdued; the overall tone is very calm. Even when you break a sweat (and you will break a sweat), it never feels like the game is pushing you too hard. I was delighted by the slow rhythmic whistles during the Strength Training exercises that signal when you should be in a new position. I used to try to do as many push-ups as I could as quickly as I could just to get them over with, but working along with these whistles forces me to slow down, which simultaneously creates a greater reaction in my muscles and relaxes the tension in my arms so I don't burn out as easily.

While the Strength Training section of activities aims to tone muscle mass, the Aerobics section is strictly focused on burning calories. The most fun of these so far is the hula hoop activity. You stand on the board and rotate your hips, just like it sounds, and your Mii avatar mimics your movements. Occasionally you must tilt your body to the side in order to catch another hoop as your other Miis (You do have a slew of Miis made of all your friends and favorite celebrities, right? Of course you do!) toss them to you. It’s an incredibly simple task, but by the end of the two minutes you will definitely be feeling active. I also enjoyed jogging, wherein you slip the Wii Remote in your pants pocket - you can also hold it in your hand, if you don't have pockets - and jog in-place as your Mii goes for a run through a pristine park. The game encourages you to jog at a comfortable pace and deters cheating by making your Mii trip and fall if the remote shakes at an unrealistic running speed. Had it not been for the clearly defined course and all my virtual friends, family, and Michael Jackson rooting me on, I probably would have stopped running about halfway through the park, but the goal in sight encourages you to keep at it, and making it to that finish line really does feel like a reward, despite the gentle burning in your lower chest.

Having never done any yoga before, I was impressed with how calming this portion of the game is. The first activity is breathing. Hey, I can do that! Deep, slow breathing keeping your balance as centered as possible calms and readies you for the next activity. The on-screen trainer - you can choose a male or female. I recommend whichever one is least likely to distract you - demonstrates each step of the pose for you, so a complete novice can replicate them with relative ease. After my first run-though of the Half-Moon stance I felt an unfamiliar stretching in both of my sides and my arms, but I felt even more invigorated and awake. Yoga has been my favorite way to start the day since I first acquired Wii Fit.

The fourth set of activities is balance games. These are, as the name implies, the most game-like activities in the software, with balance controlled rounds of ski jumping, slalom, tightrope walking, and more. These are certainly fun, and inspire a good bit of competition - my sister and I kept attempting to best each other's ski jumps all night - but these activities are where the balance board shows its weaknesses. The skiing asks you to crouch down in order to accelerate, but when my sister crouches down, she pushes her weight to the balls of her feet. The game interprets this as leaning backwards and slows her down. It took a few tries to get her used to really leaning forward. It is also difficult to precisely control your movements when heading oncoming soccer balls. You naturally tilt your upper body and head from side to side, but most people I've seen push down on their left foot when they lean to the right and vice versa. The game expects you to tilt all of your body weight in the direction of the ball.

Finally, separate from the training activities is Body Test, the physical equivalent of Brain Age Tests in the popular Brain Age games for Nintendo DS. You engage in two randomly chosen balance tests and, based on your balance performance, weight, previously input height and date of birth, the game assigns your Body Mass Index (with optional weight) and Fitness Age. Much like in Brain Age, my results have fluctuated a bit the first few days but have (thankfully) never veered too far from my actual age. You can set wight loss (or gain) goals in two-week intervals and the game will tell you whether you’re on track for those goals.

So far, despite a few issues, Wii Fit has succeeded in getting my friends, family and I genuinely excited about exercising again. The more time you spend training, the more activities you unlock, so there's still a lot for me to try out. Will I still be excited about my morning yoga in two weeks? I don't know, but I hope so. Be on the lookout for part two of this review after I've had a little more time with Wii Fit and, hopefully, lost a couple of pounds.