61 Frames Per Second : controversy

The Lost and the Damned Bares All

Bob Mackey — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 19:00:00 GMT

To the consumer of mainstream, American media, there's nothing more abominable or disgusting than the human wang--just think about all of those modern gross-out movies where the depiction of a penis is a joke in and of itself. But before you start wondering how heterosexual women operate knowing that the male sex organ is a source of both disgust and hilarity, you'd best fire up the morality sirens because there's about to be a penis in a video game. Thanks to a tip (no pun intended) from 1UP's Kat Bailey, who probably would not like to be given credit for this, the world is now aware that Rockstar is the first developer brave enough to show its audience an entire penis with the new GTAIV DLC, The Lost and the Damned--even after going so overboard on the strippers' pasties. Before I get too wound up about this clear double-standard, we should probably just get to the clip--which I have hidden behind a cut. Why? Because I care about your job.

Grand Theft Auto 4: The Lost and Damned 'Full Frontal' clip

So what do we think about this: cheap publicity stunt by Rockstar, or is the plucky developer once again trying to break new ground for what's acceptable in a video game? It can also be a third thing. But that's more your job than mine.

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Square Enix Bans Nearly 1K Players from FFXI

Cole Stryker — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

When I first heard this news, I thought that this was a real jerk move by Square Enix. They did a poor job coding their game, then got mad at players when they stumbled upon the error and used it to their advantage. Rather than ganking whatever ill-gotten gains the crafty players obtained, they banned them. Some 500 players even got perma-banned. How could Square Enix do such a thing?

Then I thought about it for a while, and decided that you really have to admire Square Enix's dedication to providing their players with a fair gameplay environment. After all, think of how many thousands of dollars this is going to cost them monthly. Square could have easily let this slide, but they'd rather lose tens of thousands of dollars in order to preserve what they interpret as fair play within their MMORPG.

It's commendable that they are still actively policing this seven-year old game. Some developers can't even manage that with newly released MMO's.

(via Kotaku)

Now You're a Killer, Just Like Mama!

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 02:21:00 GMT

Sometimes PETA runs up to us with a snotty nose and starts pulling at our skirts with a grubby hand while whining unintelligibly and gesturing at something. And we have to stop what we're doing and patiently ask, "Yes, PETA, what is it?" because PETA is impossible to ignore when it gets in this kind of mood.

PETA's latest handiwork made gamers recoil and grip shakily at the kitchen counter to steady themselves--or it was supposed to, anyway. Most of us just laughed because you can't turn Cooking Mama into a knife-loving turkey murderer without making a complete ass of yourself. If you apply blood and mayhem to all things cuddly and cute, it's instant comedy. South Park knew it. Monty Python knew it. Your twisted little cousin who will soon be getting notes sent home by Teacher knows it.

I'm a bit confused about what exactly PETA is trying to say with their Flash murder simulator, but at the same time, their chutzpah is admirable. There's no attempt to disguise Mama. She's bloodthirsty, she's apparently furious about having to cook Thanksgiving dinner and she will fuck your shit up if you turn your back on her. What's Majesco supposed to do? They can go to court, but one company of the two is backed up by hojillions of dollars from batshit celebrities, and they're not the one. PETA can make it a long and painful fight. It's not unlike the Wisdom Tree fiasco Nintendo endured, when unlicensed games about the thrilling life of Baby Moses (now with drowning action) showed up on the NES. Nintendo understandably didn't want to sink into religious controversy. Even a small puddle of quicksand can do in an elephant.

So the alternative is to shrug it off and enjoy the insanity.

PETA's mission is seemingly twofold: Let's Hate Thanksgiving and Hey Kids, Bug Majesco To Make a Vegetarian Cooking Mama. The latter mission is hilarious, since I've heard from a number of sources that declaring yourself vegan in Japan will draw the same confused look that your dog gives you when you speak his name in a really high pitch.

"Shrimp is vegan, right?"

I'm not worried for PETA. It's sad to see them fight for such a hopeless cause, but soon a plastic bag will blow by and they'll chase it happily.

Related Links:

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Brandon Crisp's Family Sets Up a Charity For...Sports?

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 00:02:00 GMT

The grieving parents of Brandon Crisp plan to set up a charity in their son's name. If you're familiar with the life and death of Brandon Crisp (and if you're not, welcome to Earth), you might be curious about this. It's not unusual for loved ones to set up charities in the names of those loved and lost, though the cause usually relates to the deceased's death. Parents who lost a child to cancer might set up a charity that benefits research, for example. Or a wife who lost her husband to a drunk driver might solicit donations for other victims.

Brandon's charity is meant to raise money for underprivileged children who wish to play sports. It's an odd choice, to be sure. If it were me, I'd want money put towards research and cures for addiction. Still, it didn't strike me as completely off the mark: organised sports cost a lot of money to play. This is especially true for heavy-equipment games like hockey, which (true to the stereotype) is enormously popular in Canada among boys Brandon's age.

The person who alerted me to the story thinks the charity has a different, though unspoken, purpose. Namely, "Get kids away from video games and into sports."

Considering what happened, I can't really dismiss that theory as mere conspiracy. Anyway, conspiracies are fun!

I maintain that Brandon's parents just want to help out kids their son's age, and maybe this was the first thing that came to their minds. Maybe there is a blank we're not filling in: what do we know about Brandon's life other than he really, really liked Call of Duty 4? Perhaps the Xbox 360 was meant to fill in for less-affordable hockey lessons?

What do you think, class?

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Editors, Where Are Your Manners?

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 23:02:00 GMT

Not long ago, I ruffled my feathers over the Internet's collective, though inevitable, lack of manners. Just yesterday, I posted some rambling thing about how the ESRB is largely irrelevant, mostly through no fault of its own. Today, I'm combining the two subjects! You lucky people!

I'm a bit late to the fury party, but it seems that GameTrailers is upset at the ESRB because the organisation made them yank an exclusive Fallout 3 trailer. The ESRB, which does have a say in game advertisements for television, deemed the trailer too violent and ordered it taken down.

(Of course, you can see it on YouTube thanks to special Internet magic.)

Some people, myself included, think the ESRB has overstepped its boundaries. The trailer was meant for GameTrailers, not television. GameTrailers has every reason to be upset, and they don't even have to be wholly polite about their displeasure. But it would have been really boss if GameTrailers' editors had consulted someone aside from their thirteen-year-old nephews for their angry words.

From GamePolitics' transcrption of GameTrailers' latest podcast:

Grumpy: Wankers! ...I am just absolutely flabbergasted about the ESRB. They're a bunch of bleepwads sitting in Washington. (...) It's a futuristic, post-apocalyptic game. I am so sick of this nanny state... they are not a government organization. They are a body made up of unqualified nincompoops... unfortunately, they're taking the nanny state to the nth degree... They make the FCC look like a bunch of broad-minded, non-censorship individuals...

I look at stuff like this and suddenly I'm reminded why nobody takes the video games industry as a serious medium.

Shane, Grumpy, you have the right to be angry. You have the right to say, "The ESRB is wrong." You also have the right to act your age instead of some ten-year-old Halo fanatic who's loudly impatient with the n00bs. In fact, it's appreciated.

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You Won't Agree With This: GameTrailers' Top Ten Video Game Themes Ever

Nadia Oxford — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 00:12:00 GMT

Editors love Top Ten lists. There is so very little in this vast world that can be summed up with a Top Ten list, which is why readers go orangutan when writers try. And "readers going orangutan" is a proven traffic-booster.

The thing is, nobody can resist the pull of these lists. We want to see our personal favourites up on the marquee; we want validation in an anonymous world. Lord knows that when GameTrailers/Screw Attack uploaded its list of the Top Ten Video Game Themes Ever, I loaded the hell out of the video just so I could sit back and yell at it.

Not to say Screw Attack made bad choices. Most of them are pretty obvious. It's just impossible to please everyone, least of all me.

For instance, I'm not so sure about choosing the Prelude for the whole Final Fantasy series (Screw Attack limited suggestions to one per franchise). The Prelude theme is very nice and it certainly represents the series as a whole, but there are other songs that are far more striking. The Opera from Final Fantasy VI, for starters. Or the Redwings' anthem from Final Fantasy IV. I can at least give Screw Attack credit for not choosing One Winged Angel from Final Fantasy VII. I saw that performed as a jangling mess at Video Games Live, confirming a suspicion I've long held: the song is not particularly well-written.

Our blue friend Mega Man is represented, of course, through Mega Man 2's first Wily stage. Good choice, though I personally would have recommended Storm Eagle's rockin' rock from Mega Man X. Hey, you know what the most underrated Mega Man stage music is? Dust Man. Also, Shade Man. Also, Dr Wily's first stage in Mega Man 7.

I'm a little disappointed to see that a song from Donkey Kong Country was chosen over the ten million superiour songs from Donkey Kong Country 2. DKC 2 offered some great remixes of DKC's music--even K. Rool's nautical battle theme.

Ah, but if we all agreed on everything, what a dull place the world would be. A dull, peaceful place. I am, of course, very happy to see Secret of Mana's "Angel's Fear" on the list. Any song that still compels me to sit all the way through it fifteen years later has aged well in my book.

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Christian Games Need Not Sucketh

Nadia Oxford — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:39:00 GMT

News of a "Christian" alternative to Guitar Hero has the gaming world laughing at Christians again. I can't imagine why.

"Grab the guitar and play along with top Christian bands! Shred those riffs or blast the bass…you add a unique sound to the solid Christian rock. But watch out: if you can't keep up, the artists will take a break and stop the music."

Oh yeah. That's why.

How did Christian-oriented games end up as the #1 Choice for Scared Grandmas who need a Birthday gift for sonny boy? By all rights, Christian games should kick ass. They should make you think about your own spirituality. They should make you consider the wonder of the world around us. They should not be about unconditional lollipops and dodging Sunday-shopping heathens to get to Church.

Speaking for my own upbringing, I am a Jew with a smattering of Catholicism. My mother was Irish-Catholic, but she converted. It basically means that she is one of a very few women in the world who has cooked chicken soup and matzoh balls while crying over the death of Pope John Paul the II.

Christians and Jews get lumped in together a lot, except when someone needs to cook up a conspiracy about the banks, but the truth is that Jews and Christians have very different outlooks on God, at least in my own tres observational experience. Christians are more worried about offending the Lord with foul speech or thoughts, which is how we end up with Guitar Praise. Jews are more oriented with the Old Testament, meaning we're well aware that God can fuck up our shit without giving us much of a reason. Let's just say in Hebrew school, I learned about God's power and God's glory, but not necessarily God's love. Oh, and I learned the lyrics to Guns n Roses' "My Michelle" because someone had written them on a stall in the women's washroom. That is soul music.

Since my religious learnings were not coated with a crunchy layer of feel-good, I heard all about the trials of Jacob, Moses, Issac and Abraham. I learned that they fought with God, outright disobeyed Him at times--and, overall, acted very human towards a force they were never meant to understand. I learned that God acted in turn, punishing them severely (and seemingly unfairly--hi, Job) at times. My lessons were stories, not warnings.

But there was a time when Christian authors weren't afraid to explore and question God's wrathful side, either. "Paradise Lost" casts the rebellion of Lucifer in a sympathetic light. CS Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia went as far as to suggest that all righteous men--even righteous devil-worshippers--have a place in Heaven. These sorts of thoughts are extremely taboo in mainstream Christian literature now and, apparently, "Christian games." Everybody wants to write about how walking with Jesus is groovy. Nobody wants to risk talking about their faith being tested.

The Japanese have taken on Christianity in a lot of their RPGs, but the results are blasphemous at best. Okay, maybe not, but there's a reason why Santa Claus was crucified on the wall of a Japanese department store. It's an urban legend, but a pretty persistent one.

I loved unravelling the evil Church of St Eva in Breath of Fire II (m'very first "Kill God" JRPG...sniff...), but the Bible is one of the most influential texts written in mankind's history. It still impacts humankind tremendously, America especially, but the "Bible" games produced by the people who claim to know it best are far sillier and emptier than anything the Japanese could come up with. That's not how things should be.

If nothing else, it's fun to consider how such squeaky-clean froo-froo games could be inspired by a book full of rape, violence, genocide and incest.

(So your daughters "fooled" you into sex twice, Lot. Uh huh. Sure.)

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Mario Will Not Retire. He Will Outlive Us All.

Nadia Oxford — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 02:05:00 GMT

Growing up, we all kind of hated the rich kid. Even if he was the sweetest child in the world who only wanted to share his toys and candy and have us come over and play in his hedge maze (remember that episode of Care Bears? If not, silly me, I just made up another euphemism for sex), we'd lapse into an uncomfortable, cringing silence around him, like dogs in the presence of an alpha. When he wasn't around, we'd seethe and hiss in his direction.

There are gamers in this world who are similarly intimidated by the existence of our hairy king, Mario. He benevolently brought many of us into this glorious, mind-gelling hobby. He has walked, run and jumped with us since we were children. Thanks to Mushroom Kingdom logic, we have baffled our teachers with adamant declarations about raccoons flying and fireballs bouncing underwater. Just last year, we soared through space with our magic plumber and visited more fantastic planes than the Little Prince.

Mario is grand. And that's why the latest Internet fad, in which bloggers call for his retirement, is impotent and sad.

I'm still unsure who first decided to make the ill declaration; likely someone desperate to crown himself King Controversy. This time, freelancer Patrick Goss takes the throne and gives us his reasons why Mario should give it all up and open a spaghetti farm.

The article is admittedly well-written and free from the venom that usually shoots from the mouths of message board trolls who feel qualified to look down on Shigeru Miyamoto. Still, I feel obligated to counter.

I don't feel like Mario needs to “bow out gracefully.” The Mario games are not a television series being torn apart by epic writer fights and demands for more money. We receive one, maybe two Mario games per console generation, with the NES being the obvious exception. Each title is invariably well-received and loved. In the interest of not starting a war, I'm not going to say too much about Super Mario Blacksheep--er, Sunshine.

Goss mentions Disney, which doesn't manufacture much in the way of Mickey Mouse cartoons lately and instead has moved on to other properties. He's right. Be sure to catch The Little Mermaid XXVII: Ariel's Hysterectomy, available on DVD this summer.

The thesis of Goss' article argues that Mario is in danger of being taken for granted or becoming passe. There was a time when Mario was passe; he choked desperately on Sonic the Hedgehog's wake. We all left him behind to go play with Sega's new pet. When it slowly became obvious that Sonic had rabies, Mario was waiting for us. We were sheepish, but we had learned a lesson. Oh God, did we learn a lesson.

Mario was every kid's hero when I was growing up and he remains a hero to young kids. If you think any differently, visit a game store and watch the kids pore over him and chatter about their own experiences in the same excited way we talked about Super Mario 2 and its successors. There's nothing to be gained from taking that away from them.

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TVTropes' "Woolseyisms"

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:20:00 GMT

It's rare that we give much thought to the good men and women who turn our video game text from "YOU LUCKY ARE WINNER!" to something dignified. But where there are exceptions, there is the potential for small wars. By far one of the most controversial names in game translation and localisation is Mr Ted Woolsey.

Ted Woolsey translated many of Square-Enix's best-known 16-bit works, including Secret of Mana, Final Fantasy VI and Super Mario RPG. To give you an idea of how divided gamers are over this gentlemen, consider that Woolsey hasn't done any substantial translation work since the death of the Super Nintendo but his name alone makes people jump up and down like testosterone-driven baboons.

TV Tropes has a long and rambling Wiki entry about Woolsey, his followers and his haters. For the sake of a quick crash course, Woolsey was (in)famous for adding his own voice to his translations. This "voice" gave us something to smile at in the place of Japanese puns we couldn't understand (except for purists who can't understand why we don't think sound-alike sushi name jokes are funny). His voice also added a good deal of depth to what was, for most of us, an epic story. Final Fantasy II US had an okay thing going with illegitimate moon brothers or whatever, but Final Fantasy III US--or Final Fantasy VI, if you prefer--took on themes that were unheard of and still go largely untouched by RPGs today. Woolsey had to convey Terra's identity crisis, suicide, unwanted pregnancy and the friggin' Apocalypse while keeping the game text family friendly.

Oh, and he wasn't allowed to make references to anyone dying, even though Kefka remains the only Square villian who killed people like bugs for the sheer joy of it.

Woolsey was especially grand at balancing his own jokes with the original source material. Working Designs' games, as well as some fan translations, often slash and burn the Japanese story for the sake of a cock joke. Excessive swears is usually a good indication of translators taking things a bit far. "Kuso" is an all-purpose Japanese curse that shows up everywhere, but it's relatively mild ("Damn" or "Shit", depending on your mood). Things rarely get raunchier than that. Contrary to popular belief, Japan is aware of which games and shows are meant for children, and it acts accordingly.

By the way, Final Fantasy VI Advance did an excellent job touching up Woolsey's translation while keeping its friendly ghost alive. I recommend it because Woolsey was forced to cut a lot of the game text due to space constraints. Admittedly, there's some stuff there you could probably do without seeing...like Emperor Ghestal's suggestion that Celes mate with Kefka to produce magic-infused progeny for his new Empire. Go ahead and take that one to bed with you.

Related Links:

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