61 Frames Per Second : diggbait

Facepalm: Crispy Gamer Pt. 2

Cole Stryker — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 23:00:00 GMT

Crispy Gamer was quickly climbing my personal ranking of most distasteful gaming sites, and then I noticed that they are gaming Digg. Go figure!

Seriously, Crispy Gamer is the worst. It's bad enough that they hire terrible journalists, but that they actively encourage their stable of writers to promote their dumb site on Digg is pathetic. Take my word for it that the fifteen diggers are all the same dudes, many with usernames that match up with Crispy contributors. These articles appeared next to each other, right in a row on Digg's "Upcoming" section.

Before you say that this is common in the journalism world, please know that our editors have never once pressured us to Digg each others blog posts. Sure, we are encouraged to promote our writing by emailing it to friends, posting it in the comments on other blogs if it's related news, or posting it to Digg if we think it's especially good, but we're never forced to spam social networking sites so blatantly.

Isn't web 2.0 swell guys?

Facepalm: 360 vs PS3 Boob Physics Comparison

Cole Stryker — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Sometimes I come across things on the internet that just make me want to throw my consoles out the window and never play another video game. For those moments, I've created a new recurring feature: Facepalm.

This comes courtesy of the scholars at Digg (where else?!). It's a video comparing the, uh, jiggle factor of Soul Calibur's leading ladies on the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3. Why? Because, shut up, that's why.

Insightful commentary:

thankuvrylittle: In all honesty, the 360 ones definitely move in a more sexually appealing way.

spikyvashy: I'll tell u which game has girls with some nice boobs, The girls from the DOA franchise

spvn: damn it's hard to keep track of all 4 of them at the same time...

Hurr hurr hurr! The offending video, after the jump:

Ugh.

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Entitled PC Gamers Whine about Rights

Cole Stryker — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Stardock's PC Gamer's Bill of Rights is a laughable and self-defeating piece of diggbait, sure to be received by mouth-breathing PC gamers with a hearty "hear hear". It's bull -- the moment you shell out cash is the moment you need to stop whining about rights. The list, with my take, after the jump:

1) Gamers shall have the right to return games that don’t work with their computers for a full refund.

Isn't this already the case? I remember returning Deus Ex at Circuit City ten years ago for a full refund (which I used to purchase Wheel of Time, an underrated shooter based on the fantasy novels. Don't worry, I replayed Deus Ex years ago). Now I'm more aware of my machine's capabilities, but still, as long as you keep the receipt...

2) Gamers shall have the right to demand that games be released in a finished state.

No, gamers shall have the right to not buy games which have received low reviews due to bugs, or at least until suitable patches are released. This will only expand development cycles due to extensive testing.

3) Gamers shall have the right to expect meaningful updates after a game’s release.

Define meaningful. Contradicts #2.

4) Gamers shall have the right to demand that download managers and updaters not force themselves to run or be forced to load in order to play a game.

This also contradicts #2. If all games are released in a finished state, who needs updates?

5) Gamers shall have the right to expect that the minimum requirements for a game will mean that the game will play adequately on that computer.

Again, this is already the case. Also, 'adequately' is a very subjective term.

6) Gamers shall have the right to expect that games won’t install hidden drivers or other potentially harmful software without their consent.

This is perhaps the only legitimate point here. Nice work.

7) Gamers shall have the right to re-download the latest versions of the games they own at any time.

Again, contradictory to #2.

8) Gamers shall have the right to not be treated as potential criminals by developers or publishers.

How about, "Developers should have the right to protect their intellectual property as they see fit, as long as it does not infringe on the rights of the user?"

9) Gamers shall have the right to demand that a single-player game not force them to be connected to the Internet every time they wish to play.

I guess this one's OK, but I have yet to run into a game that demands this.

10) Gamers shall have the right that games which are installed to the hard drive shall not require a CD/DVD to remain in the drive to play.

Why not? It's an easy way to cut down on piracy, and it's a very minor hassle for the user. This is the most ludicrous addition to the list, considering that a user who takes advantage of #1 and #10 guarantees a free game in many cases.

(via Kotaku)