61 Frames Per Second : mario kart

WTFriday: Death Race Mario Kart

Nadia Oxford — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 02:58:00 GMT

We all count on Mackey's WTFridays to ease us into the weekend like, um...sorry, I can't think of any metaphors that are worthy of readers long done with elementary school. I will say that the only thing better than one WTFriday is two WTFridays.

I've never seen Death Race 2000, though it strikes me as the ultimate testosterone high: fast cars, women, violent death traps, do-or-die competition. I also know it scared the Jesus out of Roger Ebert back in 1975, and he was convinced the children(!!) sitting in the theatre watching the movie with him were going to overturn America with fire. Turned out we didn't; that would have cut into valuable Nintendo time.

Now, nearly 35 years later, the once-shocking Death Race 2000 is considered about as violent as a rainbow compared to what's in theatres today. Should we study this film as a noteable plateau in a medium that's ever-escalating to irrevocable levels of bloodshed and violence? Or should we add Mario Kart sound effects to the footage and laugh?

Duh. Mario Kart is always the answer.

Related Links:

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WTFriday: Sega's Turd Polish
WTFriday: The Mario Paint Music Showcase

You’re Doing it Wrong: Excitebots Should Be Super Smash Bros. Kart

John Constantine — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:00:00 GMT

I don’t know about you, but I thought Excite Truck was a hell of a game. Not just as a launch game either. Its terrain deformation, ridiculous stunts, enormous jumps, and speed were good fun. It wasn’t as demanding as its grandpappy Excitebike, but that suited its loose motion controls nicely. It flopped hard though, failing to break into the top selling games the month it came out. In fairness, it deserved to flop. Who puts out a racing game at launch and doesn’t include multiplayer? Appalling. More than that though, there was no aesthetic hook to sell Excite Truck to Nintendo’s audience. Its beefy trucks and muddy trails milieu might have played back in 1987, or even ’97, but those days were long gone for Nintendo by the time the Wii released.

Now, Monster Games is back with Excitebots: Trick Racing. It looks like a lot of fun. Excite Truck but with wacky animal-robot-cars, more stunts, power-ups that involve driving into giant sandwiches, and, most importantly, multiplayer. I’m excited to play it. I’m also mystified by Nintendo’s decision to send this poor game out to pasture, just like Excite Truck. Animal-robots or not, there’s nothing here to grab up the massive Nintendo audience. There’s an easy way to make Excitebots into a multi-million seller instead of a ten-thousand seller. You make it a Smash Bros. game.

Watch this trailer. The play hooks are already there since the racing is about impacting your competitors and the environment to pull off big tricks. It’s also a fast-paced “gamer’s” game, which would make it a compliment to the slower-paced Mario Kart rather than a competing product. More than anything, though, it would be one more way to capitalize on Nintendo’s mascot stable and appeal to the broadest swath of Wii owners possible. It would ensure that people actually went out of their way to play a good game on the Wii.

Instead, Nintendo’s going to let yet another racing game from a good developer die on the vine. One day, I’m going to kick that company directly in the metaphysical balls. That, or I’m just going to buy Zelda again. Time will tell.

Related links:

Robot Chicken Torments the Excite Bike Guy
Waiting: Four More Games That Will Be Awesome To Remake In LittleBigPlanet
10 Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead Of Working: Super Smash Bros Brawl

Video Game Music that "Brings You Back"

Bob Mackey — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Because I've been playing video games since I started retaining memories (roughly age 3), a disturbing amount of my personal history can be linked to my lifelong hobby. The past, for me, is not defined by important world events, but rather, what I happened to be playing at that moment in time. Case in point: September 11th was the first day I was able to get my hands on the original Advance Wars. Coincidence? I really hope so.

That being said, going back to Mario Kart 64 (which has aged pretty terribly) recently reminded me how much of my goddamned mid-to-late teenage years were spent playing this game. Let me point out that A.) I didn't own an N64 until said teenage years had passed and B.) I never even owned Mario Kart 64. But just upon hearing one specific song from the game's soundtrack, I'm immediately brought back to my days of teenage nerd solidarity replete with endless pizzas, soda, and other body-destroying substances we used to shield ourselves from the outside world. The funny thing is, back when there were only two Mario Karts in the world, I preferred the SNES one by a pretty big margin. Yet I still distinctly remember accompanying one of my friends to Toys R Us to buy the game nearly 12 years ago, as well as the pizza that was consumed afterwards. I'm honestly surprised that I didn't grow up to be a 400-pound shut-in.

So what song from Mario Kart 64 whisks me away to the wonderful and awkward world of puberty?

Ahh, I can feel the loneliness and rejection of being a teenage nerd wash all over me like an oatmeal bath. While I go out and search for a rope, please feel free to share your own nostalgia-inducing tunes. I'm sure I'll be fine.

Related Links:

Bad Games With Good Music: Eternal Sonata
OST: Treasure of the Rudras
OST: DuckTales

Things that Make Me Swear Profusely: A Top 10 List - part 2

Amber Ahlborn — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 15:30:00 GMT

In part 1, I listed a few game moments that furrowed my brow and set my teeth on edge, but we really don't see the old temper flare up until we hit the second half. Look away oh faint of heart and sound proof the walls. Now I start yelling.

Rage + 6. Final Fantasy 9 and, wait, what do I have to do? - I don't know what to say here, other than to point out that the side quests for getting the best stuff in the game hit Random in Final Fantasy 8 and sped right past Retarded in Final Fantasy 9. I looked at a FAQ once to see what was hidden in the game and the tasks were so tedious, nonsensical and stupid that I didn't even want to try. Screw you Square.

Here are some of the fun things you can't get unless you're a masochist.

Rage + 7. Jak 3 flipping over the dune buggies – Apparently, even the biggest buggies are made of super light-weight tinfoil and will roll over three dozen times at the slightest provocation.

Of course, this guy seems to be a better driver than I am.

Rage + 8. Mario Kart Wii Blue Shell and Lightning Cloud – and well, about every other item in the game. I don't really hate MK Wii and its occasionally overbearing items, but few things make me cuss like a drunken sailor more than a bad day at the races.

Sometimes I just have to walk away.

Rage + 9. Final Fantasy 10 Lightning Dodging – What a mind numbingly stupid challenge. It's not hard, it's just not remotely fun, and getting hit by a bolt after dodging it 194 times could lead to violence done to innocent electronics.

I'd rather chew glass. Oh wait, that'll be a mini-game challenge in the next Final Fantasy!

Rage + 10. Final Fantasy 10 Chocobo Race – Whoever is responsible for this bullshit should be covered in honey and staked to a fire ant hill. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his armpits. Hate, is not a strong enough word for how I feel about this mini-game. Final Fantasy 10 force fed some of the most heinous mini games down the throats of any gamer who wanted to get the ultimate weapons and by far the worst was the Chocobo Race where you rode a bird that steered like a semi truck missing a few wheels in an attempt to hit balloons with microscopic hit detection boxes while dodging high speed homing missiles in the shape of seagulls. Sheer, unadulterated, inexcusable pain has been wrought here.

Ultimate Rage Inducing.

Related Links:

Things that Make Me Swear Profusely: A Top 10 List - part 1

Top 5 Reasons Why 2009 Will Bring the End of Lists

What Games Actually Appeal to Casual Gamers

A Change of Paint For Nintendo

Derrick Sanskrit — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Industry leader Nintendo has made a lot of changes recently, many for the better from a financial standpoint. Their current handheld, the Nintendo DS, introduced the radical concept of two screens (DS does stand for Dual-Screen, after all), one of which was touch-sensative. Their current home console, the Wii, did away with excessive cords and buttons in favor of a wireless motion-enabled controller. Both are decidedly less-powerful than their competitors' machines. Both introduced methods of play entirely unseen before in mainstream gaming. Both were initially scoffed at as risky gambles and almost certain failures. Both have ushered in a whole new demographic of casual gamers of all ages. Both have been outselling all competition for a long, long time.

And so with all of this innovation and family-friendliness coming from Nintendo and not its rivals, it seems a minor facelift was in order for Nintendo as a corporation. The following press release was sent out recently by Nintendo PR:

Dear Media Partner,

For several years, a new generation of Wii and Nintendo DS games have adorned themselves with a new logo, in discrete grey.

In various publications the former logo, with red lettering, can still be seen. In the event that you have not already done so, we would like to sincerely ask you to now only use the current, gray Nintendo logo.

Yours sincerely,

Your friendly Nintendo PR team.

While I had noticed the gray Nintendo logo on the packaging for my Wii and DS, I had not realized this was an official change. The Nintendo logo sometimes appeared white on black backgrounds, and having a red logo on those pristine white boxes would surely distract from the fashionable product photos. The change to gray certainly made aesthetic sense in those instances, but as a corporate rebranding? I'm not yet sure how I feel about that. The gray logo is decidedly colder and more modern than the classic red, but is that what Nintendo realy wants these days? While the big N has always strived to be all-ages appropriate, they've never succeeded in that goal moreso than in the present. Housewives are playing Wii Fit and Brain Age, grandparents are playing Wii Sports, little kids are playing Mario Kart and Nintendogs. Housewives love little accent colors, grandparents might have a hard time seeing such a subtle gray and kids love bright colors. Okay, those were just stereotypes, but you see what I mean, right? Maybe now is not the best time for corporate subtlety. More people love the Nintendo brand than ever these days. Maybe we shouldn't be trying to have the logo just blend in. What do you guys think?

Related Articles:
Nintendo Might Just Hate You
Why Is Super Mario Bros. Fun?
What Games Actually Appeal To Casual Gamers
Two Years In: The Wii's Feats of Strength and its Disappointments

Ranty McRant Rant: What the Hell does Casual Mean?

Amber Ahlborn — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:00:00 GMT

I read comments sections. I probably shouldn't because they contribute to my slow slide into misanthropy, but just as rubberneckers stare at a gruesome auto wreck, I have a hard time turning away. On the “positive” side, they do serve as blog fodder.

The target of my ire this week is the word “Casual” and its occasional associate, “Dumbed Down”. I'm sure these words and phrases were valid once upon a time, with recognizable definitions, but these days they've been co-opted by the angry hoards to mean whatever the hell is stuck in the craw of the angry gamer of the moment. They've taken on a sort of amorphous existence of fluid definition and get applied left and right as a sort of catch all derogatory, appropriate or not. Language tends to break down and fail when words lose their meanings and that really annoys the piss out of me.

Let's look at Mario Kart Wii as a convenient example here. I'll be the first to admit MK Wii has some major faults. It, like the rest of the series, uses the ever awful rubber band AI treatment for the computer players. It also has continued the trend of ramping up the impact that the items have on game play with every release. In this case, the items have gotten out of control, punishing skilled racers mercilessly. I'd describe the game as being unfair and unbalanced, but how does that translate into “Dumbed Down” or “Casual Friendly”? In fact, I've seen the whole series labeled Casual. The problem here is the term Casual has been used to paint such broad brush strokes that it doesn't mean anything.

If everything from Mario Kart, to Smash Bros, to Wii Sports, to Geometry Wars, to Bejeweled, to Zelda have been labeled Casual, what exactly does Casual even mean? Does it mean simple to play? Doom is simple to play. You point at stuff and shoot. Does it mean accessible? What does accessible mean? Easy controls? Simple concept? Like everything made for the NES? Does it mean short quick fix? But the Sims are called Casual games and people log in dedicated hours and hours. Casual is a marketing word. Outside of press releases, it doesn't mean a damn thing. Or worse, it becomes an easy label to slap on whatever you personally don't like. As if human beings needed yet another wall to divide ourselves up into Us VS. Them false dichotomies, now we can wage wars between Casual VS. Core. Back to Mario Kart Wii.

Prior to my decision to take an indeterminately long break from the game, I played it online with some regularity. The ranking system, while hardly precise, did give you an idea of the skill level of individual racers. Most people with high scores were better racers and more likely to win than people with low scores. When I'd get on a field with people who had significantly lower scores than me, I'd consistently leave them in the dust. I'd get bombarded with items and even forced back a few places, but I'd consistently fight my way back into a top spot. It also wouldn't be unusual for me to stay in first all the way through the race even after getting nuked by multiple Blue Shells. In these cases, where skilled players were mixed with not so skilled players the items didn't really even out the playing field. The items only became the bane of my existence when the field was packed with people of similar skill. When the racers were somewhat close to each other in ability, that's when the items made the race a crapshoot. Call it unbalanced and I'll know exactly what you mean, call it unfair and I'll readily agree, but say Casual or Dumbed Down and you've lost me. It's hardly Casual Friendly to get wiped out by cheating ass AI racers and item nukes as you battle the pack or watch your best efforts have no impact on the good racer who just lapped you, twice. Also, considering MK Wii offered up a number of interesting options for tactics and technique: bikes VS Karts, character and vehicle stats, knowing when to pop that wheelie, stunts, pulling off stunts consistently, when you want that air time and when it'd be better to stay on the ground; MK Wii was hardly Dumbed Down VS. past installments.

Do a lot of the games being developed today deserve criticism? Yes, yes they do, but for Pit's sake make the words you use to criticize mean something. Don't rely on memes to replace thoughts. And if you use a word but have trouble defining what it actually means, then find a better word.

Here's a definition you can take to the bank:. There are no Casual Games, only Casual Gamers. A Casual Gamer is anyone who has only a passing interest in games, plays irregularly, is uncommitted or is typically indifferent to the medium as a whole.

Related Links:

Ranty McRant Rant: Fan Boiz 'n Girlz

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The Madden IQ and The Future of Competitive Gaming

John Constantine — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 16:00:00 GMT

I’ve said it before here at 61 Frames Per Second, but the Madden series baffles me. The game’s massive popularity here in the states — three Madden titles are among the ten all-time best selling titles in America — makes sense. Football is awesome and people love it. It’s the game’s popularity in spite of monumental difficulty that makes my brain itchy. Sometimes, you just need a different perspective on things. Nerve’s own Joseph Lazauskas is an old school Madden-ite. In this 61FPS guest spot, he gives us some insight into why Madden ’06–’08 are three of the best selling games ever made and why the just released Madden ’09 represents not just the future of the franchise, but the future of mainstream competitive gaming. – JC

Written by Joseph Lazauskas

There once was a time when John Madden’s illustrious football video game was my crack; I’d be in a sleepless fit the week before it’s release, and oh yes, I was a proud participant in the midnight-Madden release “parties” at the Wayne, New Jersey Gamestop for years. I’d run home and play all-night with the other Madden junkies in online “sim” leagues. From 2003 to 2006, Madden catered to us obsessives, and we were eternally grateful for the increasingly complex control. I played enough to be ranked in the top 100 online at one point (a stellar feat, if I say so myself).

But Madden’s switch to the current console generation found the game significantly dumbed-down, and my interest in it dropped as a result. Starting college, embracing substance abuse and entering a relationship didn’t help. I go to a very liberal arts school outside NYC, with a 3:1 girl to guy ratio. No one there, as you can imagine, really wants to play Madden. Even when I found someone that would play, the difference in our skill levels was too great for the game to be any fun.

That’s why, unlike a lot of hardcore Madden-ers, I think the mainstream-focused — but re-balanced — Madden 2009 is fantastic, and it might be the future of head-to-head games thanks to the Madden IQ. Each player creates a profile that tracks their IQ which is then determined by a Madden Virtual Trainer test. As you continue to play, the game updates your IQ based on your performance in proper games, versus or single player. So, even if your friend is awful, the game will compensate for him, and good old John will even pick the right plays for him. It’s the perfect handicap and the future of sports games. It adjusts so precisely to your strengths and weaknesses that it makes playing against the CPU in franchise mode a fun and challenging prospect again. Record-smashing seasons become much harder as the game weights against you with each triumph, and the days of a strong-rusher, poor-passer player rushing for 3,500 yards and throwing 40 interceptions are over. Look for NBA Live to follow suit next, and the rest of the sports-gaming world to evolve soon.

Thing is, the Madden IQ concept could be applied to other head-to-head matches. For example, I’m awful at shooters, but I’d still enjoy them if the game was handicapped and my friends weren’t killing me every seven seconds. So what if your friend sucks at Mario Kart and Smash Bros — why not program all games to level the playing field?

Related links:

Brett Favrerererer Wins: The Inexplicable Popularity of Madden
Guns and Football: The Ten Best Selling Games in America
This Just In: Olympians Play Video Games
Trailer Review: Tecmo Bowl – Kick Off

Shut It, Old Man: The Absurd Extent of Nintendo’s Secrecy

John Constantine — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Eighteen months ago, whilst combating poor previews of his imminent release Too Human, Denis Dyack expressed his opinion that videogames should not be previewed in any way, shape, or form until they near completion. I can appreciate the sentiment, to a degree, especially in Too Human’s case. That game used to look like this:

And now it looks like this:

That’s what happens when you show a game ten years before it actually comes out. Dyack, hypocrite or not, isn’t wrong. Showing a game too soon can give a very poor impression of what it will ultimately be, particularly with original concepts and new characters, but you need to get the game in the public eye early. Videogames, outside of marquee titles, are rarely advertised anywhere, let alone on television where they would get the greatest exposure. So you have to preview that sucker for a long time before it releases, seed the enthusiast press, and let people pay attention. Otherwise games die on the vine, even established franchises.

Unless, of course, you’re Nintendo. Nintendo’s policy in the past five or six years is to not show the majority of their games until they are a few months away from release. Mario Kart Wii exemplifies this strategy and its successes. While it was announced at E3 2007, no one got hands-on time with Mario Kart until February ’08, just two months before the game’s release and subsequent sales success. Not showing off the game until it was all but done worked quite well, just as it did for Super Mario Galaxy and Super Smash Bros Brawl. The problem is that these games are part of the best selling franchises of all time; when your central mascot is more recognizable than Mickey Mouse, you don’t need to make sure people know that mascot’s games exist. Lesser known titles don’t fare quite as well. Even much loved and recognizable franchises like Metroid fall prey to poor public familiarity leading up to their release. Metroid Prime 3: Corruption was announced early – it was the first devoted Wii game ever seen actually, with teaser footage revealed at E3 2005 – but the preview cycle didn’t start until July 2007, a mere month before it hit shelves. It did well on release, selling just over 385,000 units in its first two months, but it’s sold poorly since, far from the millions of copies Mario Kart and Smash Bros moved in just a few weeks.

The bottom line is that Nintendo needs to start making sure more people know about their titles and not just those with Mario or the Touch Generations name on them. If they don’t, games like the upcoming Wario Land: Shake will continue to flag at retail, and ensure that Nintendo stops making quality, traditional titles altogether. Being secretive to the extent that you won’t even allow your marquee creator to talk about his hobbies in interviews is just bad business.

Related links:

The Art of Metroid Prime, Echoes, and Corruption
So I Hear Folks Are Upset With Nintendo
Wii MotionPlus a Surprise to Dev’s
Where is Wii’s Disaster: Day of Crisis?
Metroid Prime Trilogy Retrospective

For Love of the Game: Zelda Jams Re-appropriated

John Constantine — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

I’m not even sure what you classify this as: are they just fan remixes? Fan-fiction remixes? I just don’t know! NeoGAFfer cicerone posted up this bizarre nugget of internet detritus yesterday and, for the nostalgically inclined and Nintendo fanatic alike, it’s quite a treat. These are Koji Kondo’s songs from The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time re-orchestrated using the instrumentation from Kirby, Mario Kart, Donkey Kong Country, Momotaro Dentetsu, and Mario Galaxy. Not only that, but they’re also re-imagined to suit the tone of those games as well.

Some folks plain have too much time on their hands. Good thing they spend it being awesome.

More For Love of the Game:

Rockman 7 FC
Outcast 2 (sorta)
Street Fighter One
Metroid II Remakes

Watcha Playing: Loving/Hating Mario Kart Wii

Amber Ahlborn — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Mama Mia!

Every weekend I try to get together with a group of friends to play Mario Kart Wii online. We have a blast battling it out for first place and lobbing weapons of happy destruction at each other. I really love this game and it is, hands down, my favorite console iteration of the series to date. I'm definitely a fan of the bikes and the stunts and I quite enjoy the “Whiil” (sorry). Alas, it has no voice chat so communicating with my fellow racers involves a little racing of my own; from my living room, where the Wii is ensconced, to my studio where my computer sits. But, I know why there is no voice chat. It's because of me.

Nobody wants to listen to me scream expletives at the top of my lungs because I just got hit with a blue bhell, followed up by a Bullet Bill and three red shells; surviving the item onslaught only to get sumo-ed off the track by one of the heavy weight characters. Five seconds of agony later and I've dropped from first place to tenth. No worries right? I'll just grab this item box and...CRAP! It's a Lightning Cloud! I've always liked the crazy items in Mario Kart but I think things are starting to get a “wii” bit out of control (sorry again).

I honestly wouldn't get rid of any of the items, but I would tweak them a bit. It's nice that the game gives hope of ranking positions to the folks in the rear but now the front of the pack is getting overly punished. Sometimes it just doesn't pay to fight my way into first place. And yet, I keep coming back to race once again. I'll just have to remember to keep the windows shut lest the neighbors complain. Remember folks, don't drive angry.

Yep, that's about right...

NPD Wrap: The Times Are a Changin’

John Constantine — Fri, 16 May 2008 18:00:00 GMT

April’s come to a close and now, under the cold, hard light of math, three things are becoming clear. First, people freaking love Nintendo games. Sure, we already knew that, but over a million people bought Mario Kart for Wii in less than a week. Second, people freaking love Grand Theft Auto. Nearly two million people bought that in even less time. Third, our access to new videogames is going to change dramatically in the very near future. While these numbers may just look like numbers to us, to the people who publish videogames, the people who control when we get to engage these creations, the math is saying that 2008 is different. Tradition dictates that high profile, big hype games are held in reserve for the holiday push from late September through December and the rest of the year is just a slow trickle of quality goods. The math of March and April 2008 says that people will buy many, many games throughout the year, not just around Christmas. What happens now? Going forward, we’re going to see more games, more often. At least, until digital distribution destroys physical media and the whole issue becomes moot.

While the gigantic March sales numbers didn’t keep their drive through April, even with five days of juggernaut sales from Grand Theft Auto 4, all the players put in impressive showings. Wii sales kept pace, down to just 714K units from 721K, but Nintendo DS sales saw a more precipitous decline, down to 414K units from a powerful 698K despite the healthy software debut for both Pokemon Mysterious Dungeon SKUs. GTA4 moved the huge numbers expected, selling 1.85 million units with only days left in the reporting period but it failed to make an impact on HD console sales. Microsoft and Sony saw sales of their home consoles drop below the 200K mark but both companies can expect bigger sales through May thanks to GTA4 momentum and anticipation of marquee June titles Metal Gear Solid 4 and Ninja Gaiden 2. Software sales were cool on the whole. GTA4 and Mario Kart Wii dominated, but no third party was able to replicate the success Ubisoft and EA had in March with the debuts of Rainbox Six Vegas 2 and Army of Two.

Hardware Sales

Wii - 714,200

Nintendo DS - 414,800

PSP - 192,000

Xbox 360 - 188,000

PlayStation 3 - 187,100

PlayStation 2 - 124,400

Software Sales

GTA IV (360) – 1,850,000

Mario Kart Wii -1,120,000

GTA IV (PS3) – 1,000,000

Wii Play – 360,000

Super Smash Bros. Brawl – 326,000

Gran Turismo 5: Prologue – 224,000

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness – 202,000

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time – 202,000

Guitar Hero III – 152,000

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (360) -141,000

Out thanks to both Next-Gen and Kotaku for their coverage.

Periphery: Angry Video Game Nerd Edition

John Constantine — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:00:00 GMT

I like to think, in my more ponderous moments (read: stoned), that gods are born constantly. It was probably the steady diet of British fantasy I consumed while being an ornery Catholic school student during my formative years that led to this continuing line of speculation. Working on the internet every day, I’ve started to spot the reigning deities of the Web 2.0 pantheon. The Angry Video Game Nerd is one of them. I’m not wholly convinced James D. Rolfe was ever a human being at all; he was born straight from the net, a spiritual conjuring made of Youtube users, fandom, and nostalgia addictions. His followers are legion too. Just look at the sheer number of blatant imitators sacrificing their dignity at his altar, the numerous acolytes playing his theme song across Myspace and Facebook. The Nerd’s latest is a look at the myriad licensed peripherals for the original Nintendo Entertainment System and while his acerbic wit takes recognizable oldies like the NES Zapper and Power Pad, he mentions a few that are truly obscure. The Roll & Rocker? The Speedboard? I’d never heard of them either. But as the Nerd reminds us, they certainly do suck.

And since this is filed under Periphery, 61 Frames Per Second’s regular look at gaming peripherals, you should know that Nintendo’s track record of terrible add-ons continues to this day. That Mario Kart wheel is, as the man would say, ass.

Head over to the AVGN’s homepage at Cinemassacre Productions and his home away from home with Screwattack on Gametrailers.com.

Brainy Gamer Asks the Ever-Present Question: Can’t We All Just Get Along?

John Constantine — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:00:00 GMT

While admitting this risks damaging my “cred”, I do not game that much online. Indeed, my experience with online multi-player is limited to only a handful of games like Mario Kart DS (which I quickly abandoned due to rather egregious cheating) and a very brief stint in World of Warcraft (once I got to more populated areas of the game, my aging G4 PowerBook just couldn’t keep up. I got lucky.) That said, like so many others, I’ve played a lot of Halo 3 online. In general, the random people I’ve played with have been alright; not offensive but not people I’ll become bosom buddies with. Playing online is like hanging out with any group of strangers. It’s civil and awkward. On heavily populated nights though, when Microsoft’s servers strain under the weight of hundreds of thousands of players, that’s when you get a taste of the horrific behavior that keep many people from playing online at all. Racist, moronic, misogynistic rambling from a multitude of pubescent men with no sense of irony, humor, or decorum. No description, no recording can do it justice, you have to experience this sort of dumb hostility yourself to truly understand it. Though you don’t have to play online to witness it at work in the community. Just look at the Kotaku comments section during last year’s Resident Evil 5 debacle.

Angela from Lesbian Gamers and Michael from Brainy Gamer have written up an essay that succinctly states the problem and elegantly asks what’s to be done about it if discourse on games is going to grow:

How can we constructively address members of our community who use the public and anonymous nature of our forums and comment areas to attack or berate others? Is banning specific commenters or IP addresses the best solution? We can moderate and filter, but is there something meaningful to be gained by allowing such people to publicly have their say? Can we nurture a community that responds to these situations in a useful and instructive way? Can we engage a critical mass of gamers willing to model respectful disagreement and thoughtful discourse?

Or are we wringing our hands about something only a relative few of us care about? Is it unlikely we can do anything substantive to create a more civil environment among gamers? Should we simply do what we can as individuals and hope things improve over time? We'd like to make a positive contribution, but are we being hopelessly idealistic?

As Angela and Michael say, it’s a difficult problem to tackle. The real problem is the anonymity of all online interactions as illustrated by the John Gabriel Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory. Anti-social behavior in physical communities isn’t tolerated because anyone behaving badly is dealt with immediately, either by overt punishment or ostracizing the guilty party. But there’s no such thing as internet jail and, even if there was, escape is only a new screen name, a new persona away.

Not to be flippant but the simplest answer is for people to just stop being stupid. The complicated answer, however, is a mystery to me. What do you think readers?

Big thanks to N’Gai Croal at Level Up for pointing us to this.