61 Frames Per Second : wii fit

Wii Fit Does Like Jesus

Nadia Oxford — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 04:03:00 GMT

Thousands of years ago, crippled individuals had to ask for some hocus-pocus from a Jewish carpenter. A bit later down the line, medical science filled in for the J-Man (who did an awesome job but had a sketchy schedule). Now, video games are lending a hand to heal the unsteady.

In Ireland, a girl took her first steps in four years thanks in part to the yoga and balance games in Wii Fit. I'm intrigued by this story not only because it's yet another example of how video games can benefit us aside from making sure our shooting stays sharp for the inevitable alien invasion: I went through knee surgery some years ago and I wish I'd had something as interesting as Wii Fit to help me through the monotony of physiotherapy.

For instance, the physiotherapist who worked with me aimed to have me standing evenly on two legs again. It's a memory I flashed back to when the Wii Fit board told me I leaned like the Tower of Pisa, except the physiotherapist used two scales, which was slightly more crude than the Wii Balance Board. Also, the Balance Board has more personality than my physiotherapist did.

I'm glad for this girl who can walk again because it was hard to come back from my surgery, which was significantly less intense than coming back from a leg-wrecking virus over the course of four years. One large part of physiotherapy involves hooking up mild electric currents to the patient's muscles in order to stimulate deadened nerves; if Nintendo works on an attachment, hey, we'll be making medical miracles!

In all seriousness, it's good to know that Wii Fit has done a great deed in the name of a child's health. It also makes it easier to accept that I cannot be together with the male yoga trainer, for his calling is too noble to keep him tied to one place forever.

Related Links:

Wii Do Not Fit Into One Category
Whatcha Playing: Wii Fit
Capcom Might Just "Get" The Wii

Surf the Globe with the Wii Balance Board

Cole Stryker — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 17:00:00 GMT

An industrious google engineer figured out a way to program the Wii Balance Board (or, "Beam", as the engineer calls it) to control a truck rolling around Google Earth. And all he had to do was decode the Bluetooth thingy. Easy peasy!

Seems like there are real possibilities for a gaming application. I haven't seen any interesting uses of the board yet, but there has to be cool stuff like this in the pipeline. It'd be nice to have a new Pilotwings game. Even just a port of the Super Nintendo game with new Wii Balance Board controls would be terrific.

(via Venturebeat)

Xbox 360 Parties: The New Tupperware Parties

Cole Stryker — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 22:00:00 GMT

I am endlessly amused by the industry's attempts to court moms. It's been semi-successful over the last few years, with Wii advertising the DS and Wii Fit in womens magazines and such. Most times it just feels so awkward and contrived. It looks like Microsoft is now trying to get a piece of the pie. USA Today reports that Microsoft is paying women to invite friends over for gaming night:

House cleaners, hairdressers, guidance counselors and IT technicians got a $150 pack of Xbox freebies for opening their homes to at least 10 friends or relatives... They got an Xbox party pack of freebies that included microwaveable popcorn, Xbox trivia game Scene It? Box Office Smash, an Xbox universal media remote control, a three-month subscription to Xbox Live, and 1,600 Xbox Live points (used for game, movie and TV show purchases).

Will ladies be interested in spending a couple hundo on casual gaming and social networking, the likes of which they could easily find for free on the Internet? The Xbox 360 does offer a communal atmosphere, but you can always get the gals together for a game of Scene It? with a DVD player.

I'm skeptical, but anything that encourages moms to buy video game consoles can only be a good thing (wink wink mom, Christmas is two days away).

10 Games Nadia Played in 2008 Instead of Working: Wii Fit

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 04:21:00 GMT

I'm not speaking to Wii Fit today, as it told me I gained two pounds over the course of 24 hours. But Wii Fit has done so much for me, I can't stay mad at it forever.

(Don't tell Wii Fit I said that. I want it to learn a lesson.)

Of all the games I've played this year, I have to say that Wii Fit has captured most of my time. You might say, “Well, that's because it's a fitness game and you want to get fit, stupid.” So true, but think about it. Why do people turn their exercise bikes into towel racks by week three? Because there's little motivation to hop on the contraption. You can't feel your ass grow, so you don't have too many reasons to go through the tedium of a daily “ride.”

Wii Fit combines three factors that keeps its faithful coming back for more: motivation (through a graph that traces your weight loss, or in my case, gain), variety and timed exercises. It's satisfying to see the minutes you spend on yoga, aerobics and muscle toning get added up in your little piggybank. After thirty minutes have been stored up, the little piggybank does a dance, signifying that you have exercised an adequate amount for the day and may reward yourself by stuffing a cheeseburger in your face.

Thing is, if you limit yourself to a sensible thirty minutes of Wii Fit in a day, chances are good that you're not going to get bored nearly as quickly as you would by sitting on your rowing machine's face day after day. The yoga and muscle toning exercises alone can combine into several dozen beneficial work outs.

I know people who have been with with Wii Fit over the course of a year, and they're still very happy together. I'm sure I'll be happy with my own copy again, once we have some cleansing words with one another.

Related Links:

Two Years In: The Wii's Feats of Strength and Disappointments
Wii Do Not Fit Into One Category
Whatcha Playing: Wii Fit

Joe’s Top Ten Games of 2008 – Special Jury Prizes

Joe Keiser — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:00:00 GMT

The official mandate has come down from the top, as you have seen—that it is December, and we all write about games, so we all have to pick some arbitrary number of them that we enjoyed above all others this year. This is an arduous task that we have all figured out ways to cheat at, and I am no different. Though I will pick ten games, exactly, and present them in order from #10 to the best game of the year, I will not be starting that list today. Instead, here are my special jury prizes for the year. These games would have made it into my top twenty. They all did one or two things pretty well, and many deserve more recognition than they ended up getting.

Best Games to get Your Girlfriend to Play Games – Wii Fit and Echochrome: A tie here, for two otherwise incomparable games. Wii Fit is an obvious one, as it has been specifically targeted at women and is barely a game at all—it’s really just a charmingly presented tool. Echochrome is much more interesting, because it’s a gamer’s game through and through. Despite being maybe the most abstract game released this year, it’s actually surprisingly easy to get the layperson to understand it—“the M.C. Escher game” is a fully illuminating description that almost anyone is at least intrigued by. That both of these games were technically ambitious (Wii Fit in hardware, Echochrome in software) is not a coincidence, as this is the kind of lateral thinking that grows the scope of the medium.

Best Storytelling Game – Yakuza 2: Yakuza 2 is a technically dated, kind of clunky PS2 brawler/RPG hybrid thing that uses cutscenes to tell the majority of its story. It breaks just about every rule that Half-Life laid down about what a storytelling game should be. So why is it so gripping? Because it gets the fundamentals of storytelling right. The writing is tight, the saga epic and complex, and all of it is complemented by strong environments and plenty of incidental detail. In an age of high-definition and super-slick shooters, this was a reminder of why the PS2 and its plethora of Japan-developed games had such a long run at the top.

Best Transition from Console to Handheld – Warriors Orochi for PSP: The Warriors series gets a bad rap because it fails to add value from release to release. But the core of the game is and will always be viscerally entertaining, because who doesn’t want to obliterate men by the thousands with just the few swings of a sword? Previous attempts at bringing this series portable resulted in crippling gameplay compromises. This year Warriors Orochi for the PSP finally brought the full-fat franchise experience to the mass transit systems of the world, which is absolutely the best place for this kind of repetitive but satisfying gameplay. Having such a game on the go is actually hugely valuable, which makes it a shame that this one came and went with zero recognition.

Best…Hmm, Why am I Still Playing This: Viking: Battle for Asgard – Viking is a game where you play as a lumbering, shirtless piece of man-meat who has to save hundreds of other lumbering, shirtless pieces of man-meat from some horrible woman on a mountain. I probably don’t have to tell you that I played the whole thing.

Other Bests of 2008:

Derrick's Top 13 Games of 2008 - Part 1, Part 2
Bob’s Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order - Audiosurf, Braid
10 Games Nadia Played In 2008 Instead Of Working: Super Smash Bros Brawl

Derrick's Top 13 Games of 2008 - Part 1

Derrick Sanskrit — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Yes, it's that most wonderful time of the year, when we make our lists and check them twice. As Bob and Cole have already pointed out, annual Top 10 game lists are popping up all over the place. I started organizing my own list over a month ago and had a very hard time leaving a few games out (come on, it was a pretty damn good year for games), and since thirteen has been my lucky number since the third grade I am now proud to present my own personal Top 13 Games of 2008, brought to you in three managable installments. Hopefully there'll be a little something for everyone. Let's get this party started:

13 - rRootage (iPhone/iPod Touch, ported from PC):
You know what I always loved about the classic top-down shooters? Those huge, insane, too-many-flying-objects-on-screen-at-once boss fights. Wouldn't it be great if someone made a game that was just that? Oh, and if it were portable - fit right in my pocket. And it would be so sweet if I could play it with just one or two fingers and listen to whatever music I wanted to while I played. Yeah, that sure would be a dream. Oh wait... somebody made that game? And it's free? Woah...

12 - No More Heroes (Wii):
There's little I can say about No More Heroes that hasn't already been exuberantly exclaimed by Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw. Goichi Suda is a game auteur, the Quentin Tarantino to Shigeru Miyamoto's Stephen Spielberg, and No More Heroes is his Woo Ping techno-punk black comedy Grand Theft Auto satire. Possibly most impressively, it was an M-rated Wii game that stood gloriously by itself as being unique, completely worthwhile, and in no way a weak sequel or spin-off of an otherwise beloved franchise (see Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles, Manhunt 2 and Mortal Kombat: Armageddon).

11 - Ace Attorney Apollo Justice (DS):
The first "true" DS Ace Attorney game (the Phoenix Wright trilogy were all GBA ports, minus the fifth case in the first game, tech demo for what would become Apollo Justice) did just about everything right: delightfully quirky characters, greatly improved graphics and sound, engaging new forensic investigation tools and a solidly engaging storyline. The only real problems were that the story ultimately paled in comparison to the edge-of-your-seat emotional thrill ride of predecessor Ace Attorney Phoenix Wright: Trials and Tribulations and that the game still feels far too short. Sure, you get your money's worth and a decidedly more compelling "game" than its predecessors thanks to more interactive elements, but even a game twice as long wouldn't satisfy my craving for Ace Attorney action. TAKE THAT!

10 - WiiFit (Wii):
The quintessential non-game of 2008, WiiFit had high expectations all around and shattered every single one of them. Bringing WiiFit home opened my living room to sights I'd never seen before, an exercise program that people legitimately wanted to play. Even when I wasn't playing, I was thinking about how my daily actions would be reflected on my next body test, striving for a high score in the form of a low BMI. I'm noticeably leaner and healthier than I was eight months ago and I had a lot of fun doing it, even feeling competitive at times. In my mind, that makes WiiFit a game, and a damn good one too.

Part 2
Part 3

Related Articles:
Bob's Top 10 of 2008 in No Particular Order
Time Magazine's Top 10 Games of 2008
Action Button's Top 25 Games Ever

A Stretch on the WiiRack

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 00:16:00 GMT

I'm still pretty loyal to WiiFit. Take that, lazy gamer stereotype. I haven't dropped much weight. Actually, it seems like I've barely dropped any; I'm really up and down. At the same time, I must be seeing some kind of benefit because my muscles are definitely firmer and my waistline is smaller. Also--and this comes as a pleasant surprise--I don't feel like an old woman when I pour myself out of bed in the mornings anymore.

I used to experience a lot of morning soreness (or afternoon soreness as it were--God bless the crazy hours of the freelancer) because I fight dragons in my sleep. Some fellow idolterers at the altar of the Wii Balance Board noted that Wii Fit's yoga regimen has left them feeling as tender and supple as new veal. Maybe not quite as delicious, but the absence of aches and pains is pretty nice either way.

I wasn't expecting to get so much from Wii Fit's yoga. I had initially planned to mostly ignore it in favour of muscle-building and fat-burning, which would have been a shame. I know the Internet regularly says "Yoga ROCKS!!!" and that I should listen to everything the Internet tells me, but I thought doing yoga would make me look like a three-legged Shetland pony balanced on a beachball. It does, to be honest, but it also feels really good. I dare say it's done more for tightening certain creases and folds than the cardio or muscle toning.

I do wish Nintendo would allow us to download more poses, or even market a second disc for suckers like myself who'd pick it up instantly. On the other hand, maybe I should stop avoiding the Dance pose, even if it's only a matter of time before I pitch forward and put my face through the TV screen.

I could also join a real yoga class because I have been dying to pay to be a freak sideshow at a yuppie circus.

No, I'll just stay at home with my vampire-pale digital personal trainer. He doesn't judge me. Except when I screw up the Palm Tree pose.

Related Links:

Wii Do Not Fit Into One Category
Whatcha Playing: Wii Fit
Wii Are Not Amused

Videogame, Non-Game, Old Game, New Game: The Miyamoto Rule

John Constantine — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 00:45:00 GMT

To the internet-list aficionado, the end of the calendar year is the time of greatest bounty. You like lists, chances are you like pop culture, and nothing gets the pop junkie going like ranking all the crap that came out in the past twelve months. Top ten movies, top ten books, top ten celebrity nip-slips, top ten Billy Mays products, and, yeah, top ten games of the year. We are no stranger to the list here at 61FPS, as you well know from reading our scintillating, thought provoking top tens, and you can imagine how we’re gearing up to deliver all sorts of meaningless judgments on the year known broadly as 2008 (4706, 4705, or 4645 to the Chinese. They seem to be confused.) Over the past few weeks, Derrick and I have had a number of conversations about our mutual contenders, but these dialogues have always ended in a conundrum: what counts as a videogame? Derrick’s smitten with Wii Fit, but is it anything more than a Nintendo-upped Sweatin’ to the Oldies that comes with a snazzy scale? We’re both fans of the Korg DS-10, but, even though you play it on a videogame system, it is an actual musical instrument, not a new sequel-ready game franchise. Does an instrument go on a top ten games list?

My personal definition of a videogame has been a work of interactive digital media wherein you follow a set of rules to achieve a goal. Wii Fit, Korg DS-10, and the many other games like them belong in the broader videogame discussion at this point and this is making me re-evaluate just what a game is.

Leave it to Shigeru Miyamoto to lay down the single best definition of videogame I’ve heard to date. When asked about Wii Music as a facilitator for creativity, Miyamoto replied:

Videogames are a unique form of entertainment called interactive entertainment. Players are given the opportunity to make their own decisions and plans, and that’s how this interactive nature can generate circumstances in which players can become creative.

And just like that, the noun “game” is removed from the equation leaving “videogame” to properly become its own thing. As the coming decade looms and all of the unknown factors, like casual gamings’ growth and the standardization of user-generated content, continue to change discussion of the medium, I’m sure that definition will keep changing. But for now, gaming’s godfather has laid down, accidentally, a good rule of thumb.

Read the whole interview here. Because it is great.

Related links:

Wii Music: A Rare Miss For Miyamoto?
Miyamoto Says Something Was "Missing" From Zelda: Twilight Princess. We Know It, Too.
Miyamoto Is Concerned About Excessive Violence in Games
Shigeru Miyamoto, the Heartbreak...Man
Miyamoto Says, "It Would Be Great If Music Education Started With Wii Music."

Nintendo's Paint Change, Part 2

Derrick Sanskrit — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:00:00 GMT

I was pretty much ready to leave this alone after its brief mention last week, but then the internet had to go and spark my curiosity. MTV Multiplayer's Stephen Totilo wrote last week that Nintendo of America's executive vice president of sales and marketing Cammie Dunaway told him that the Nintendo logo had been gray in America for "a couple of years."

Now, maybe it's just my past in high school model congress and an inherent desire to prove people wrong, but this inspired me to do some research. Thankfully, I didn't have to go much farther than my game shelf. The most recent games in my collection to feature the classic red Nintendo logo are August 2007's Metroid Prime 3: Corruption for Wii and and October 2007's Chibi-Robo: Park Patrol and The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass for the DS (they came out the same week and I can't possibly play favorites), but a quick search on several popular online retailers' websites confirmed that the red logo was featured as late on North American packaging as November 11th, 2007's Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn for Wii and November 19th, 2007's Mario Party DS.

That's not "a couple of years." That's one year, almost exactly, from when Ms. Dunaway's statement was made. I'm not trying to trying to break into semantics here, and of course it doesn't really matter what color the logo is, I just don't appreciate being lied to. Maybe that's just my inner graphic designer who takes little things like typography and logo colors very seriously. I'm sure Nintendo has been using the gray logo both internally and publically for many years and for all we know the logos in their offices are pink and polka-dotted by now, so Ms. Dunaway may have just been confused trying to remember the things that have been. Still, this implication that the logo color change is not a new or recent occurrance is just another notch in NoA's belt of misinformation, right along with Reggie's assertion at E3 that Animal Crossing: City Folk is a hardcore game and then advertising it with a more casual campaign than any other Wii game yet (seriously, at least the Wii Fit, Mario Party and general Wii ads involved people standing up and looking remotely excited).

Nintendo, I love you, I do. I've been loyal to you for years and years, but there's a reason this is the first generation of home console gaming that I personally own non-Nintendo hardware. Your consumers are intelligent people. Please stop pretending we're not and lying to our faces like this.

Related Articles:
A Change of Paint for Nintendo
Nintendo Might Just Hate You
Why Is Super Mario Bros. Fun?
What Games Actually Appeal To Casual Gamers
Two Years In: The Wii's Feats of Strength and its Disappointments

A Change of Paint For Nintendo

Derrick Sanskrit — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Industry leader Nintendo has made a lot of changes recently, many for the better from a financial standpoint. Their current handheld, the Nintendo DS, introduced the radical concept of two screens (DS does stand for Dual-Screen, after all), one of which was touch-sensative. Their current home console, the Wii, did away with excessive cords and buttons in favor of a wireless motion-enabled controller. Both are decidedly less-powerful than their competitors' machines. Both introduced methods of play entirely unseen before in mainstream gaming. Both were initially scoffed at as risky gambles and almost certain failures. Both have ushered in a whole new demographic of casual gamers of all ages. Both have been outselling all competition for a long, long time.

And so with all of this innovation and family-friendliness coming from Nintendo and not its rivals, it seems a minor facelift was in order for Nintendo as a corporation. The following press release was sent out recently by Nintendo PR:

Dear Media Partner,

For several years, a new generation of Wii and Nintendo DS games have adorned themselves with a new logo, in discrete grey.

In various publications the former logo, with red lettering, can still be seen. In the event that you have not already done so, we would like to sincerely ask you to now only use the current, gray Nintendo logo.

Yours sincerely,

Your friendly Nintendo PR team.

While I had noticed the gray Nintendo logo on the packaging for my Wii and DS, I had not realized this was an official change. The Nintendo logo sometimes appeared white on black backgrounds, and having a red logo on those pristine white boxes would surely distract from the fashionable product photos. The change to gray certainly made aesthetic sense in those instances, but as a corporate rebranding? I'm not yet sure how I feel about that. The gray logo is decidedly colder and more modern than the classic red, but is that what Nintendo realy wants these days? While the big N has always strived to be all-ages appropriate, they've never succeeded in that goal moreso than in the present. Housewives are playing Wii Fit and Brain Age, grandparents are playing Wii Sports, little kids are playing Mario Kart and Nintendogs. Housewives love little accent colors, grandparents might have a hard time seeing such a subtle gray and kids love bright colors. Okay, those were just stereotypes, but you see what I mean, right? Maybe now is not the best time for corporate subtlety. More people love the Nintendo brand than ever these days. Maybe we shouldn't be trying to have the logo just blend in. What do you guys think?

Related Articles:
Nintendo Might Just Hate You
Why Is Super Mario Bros. Fun?
What Games Actually Appeal To Casual Gamers
Two Years In: The Wii's Feats of Strength and its Disappointments

Wii Do Not Fit Into One Category

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 22:28:00 GMT

I'm still plugging away at Wii Fit and enjoying it. The game succeeds in one key area where exercise videos and dieting fails: the automatic recording of your progress goes a long way to keeping you on the wagon. When you begin your training session, you're asked to set a goal and a reasonable timeframe for that goal. Watching yourself inch towards that goal is heartening.

Even though I've always been conscious about moving my body to some small degree every day, I've always had a tendency to ignore at least one vital area of fitness. Wii Fit really does offer a variety of exercises across the board. I can do ten minutes of Yoga, ten minutes of strength training and ten minutes of cardio. I know that's not exactly intensive and I'm not going to become Wonder Woman in a matter of days, but thirty minutes of balanced activity every day has made me feel pretty good. I do feel more flexible. My abs are tougher, but don't go throwing a baseball into them. I can't say my posture is any less horrid, but I'm more aware about my body positioning.

Wii Fit does have one major flaw though: it fails to communicate clearly with the user on some vital levels. The title measures your BMI, which is rapidly becoming an outdated means of measuring general health. Even my doctor has abandoned it.

Even so, it's just not a good idea to be too heavy, right? Very true, but Wii Fit forgets to take into account that strength training will inevitably build muscle--and muscle weighs quite a bit. So you work out faithfully every day and get scolded by the on-screen Balance Board mascot for gaining weight. Have you ever been dressed-down by a Balance Board? It hurts.

In fact, registering weight gain in Wii Fit is a hassle. Men and women gain and lose weight differently, but that's not accounted for, either. For instance, women go through a certain experience every month that your sex ed teacher might have described with adjectives like "beautiful" and "natural." This beautiful and natural experience can cause a woman to gain three to five pounds of water, which stays with her for a week or so until the clouds pass over the moon.

No one explained the birds and the bees to the on-screen Balance Board, though. I gained three pounds in one night and the Board was absolutely horrified. "Oh my God! You gained so much weight, you fat pig! Choose the reason why do you think you plumped up." You're given several options, most of which amount to "I eat too much, for I am a fat pig." There's no selection marked "Nature Blows."

You're not being very sensitive towards your expanding woman audience, Nintendo. :( I'll forgive you, but only if your next update on Wii Fit has common sense programmed into it somewhere.

(Pictured kitty belongs to Jason Bolton. Mine are too eager to chase invisible mice to sit still for photographs.)

Related Links:

Whatcha Playing: Wii Fit
Wii Music: A Rare Miss For Miyamoto?
Two Years In: The Wii's Feats of Strength and Its Disappointments

Whatcha Playing: Wii Fit

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 04:00:00 GMT

Oh oh. I am officially one of those people. You know, the industry-wreckers. When the time is right, count on me to infiltrate your homes, break your copies of Gears of War 2 over my knee and throw the pieces like shurikens into your pug dog's heart.

In the meantime, I'm going to bulk up for the mission.

Wii Fit was kind of a sudden buy. "Oh my God is that Wii Fit? This isn't a mirage? Grab that shit, yo!" After that, the balance board incubated in its box for some weeks before we took it out and subjected it to fat torture.

At five feet, I'm not a willowy beauty and I know it might be a while until God gets off his arse and bestows upon me the seven inches of height I wholly deserve. I will forever be shaped like a heavy-duty dog-chew toy (slightly used), but I'm starting to come to peace with that. My other option is to simply stop eating, and that's not going to happen because I'm fond of living and digesting.

That said, I'm still realistic. I've made major dietary adjustments in my life partially because I know keeping healthy is not about dieting, but about lifestyle changes that you can realistically stick to. Also, I'm getting old and my stomach hates everything these days. It's not hard to get away from fried food when it goes down as french fries and comes up as Acidsaurus Rex Kool-Aid.

That leads this anecdote to exercise, which leads me back to Wii Fit. I figured it won't be long before winter chases us Canadians back indoors, so I may as well get used to indoor activities again. I wasn't expecting Wii Fit to be as intense as, say, a good go with Dance Dance Revolution. Sure enough, it's not as furious as Konami's ankle-buster. But Wii Fit really does offer a nicely balanced fitness package that I'm actually impressed with.

I like doing yoga at home without being surrounded by perfumed middle-aged mothers who couldn't convince their doctors to deliver through a C-section. I like working on my posture because--well, if you read Death Note and observe how L the detective sits at his computer, you'll realise my problem. I like strengthening and toning my muscles because I will eventually feel less like a bipedal mould of chicken-flavoured Jell-O. And I like doing the Hula-Hoop thing just because it's got Hula-Hoops in it.

So after a thirty minute session with Wii Fit, I'm not sweating like a trollop in church, but I feel good all-around: I feel like I've had a good stretch combined with a nice jog while balancing a book on my head the whole time. That's an exaggeration, obviously. I'm so unbalanced that the Wii balance board believes I'm a giraffe with an ear infection.

Related Links:

Two Years In: The Wii's Feats of Strength and Its Disappointments
Wii MotionPlus: Say What, Nintendo?
Wii Are Not Amused

Wii Music: A Rare Miss For Miyamoto?

Nadia Oxford — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:08:00 GMT

The reviews for Wii Music are trickling in and the verdict overall seems to be "Meh." Wii Music doesn't look like it's on course to become the holiday item worth garroting fellow shoppers over. Most damning is What They Play's test play, featuring real live children. The game apparently didn't go over much better than homework.

I don't often feel bad when a hyped game flatlines, but I kind of feel sadface about Wii Music's lukewarm reception just because Shigeru Miyamoto is so excited about it. I know some gamers put their hands on their hips and say, "Well, it's about time he was taken down a peg" when one of Miyamoto's projects is a notch below stellar, but I still have mad respect for the guy. He is one of my heroes (Nadia Trivia Bonus: another hero is Terry Fox and another is the inventor of cookies).

I haven't seen any Wii Music-related scorn directed towards Miyamoto yet, but I'm sure it's out there, or it will be. The Wii has opened up video games for a whole new audience; even though it's easy to get mad and decide that Nintendo has abandoned hardcore gamers, I can't fault Nintendo for thinking Wii Music will be a runaway hit with the Wii Sports/Wii Fit crowd. But if Wii Music fails to sell, what will it mean for Shigeru Miyamoto?

The most logical answer is "Nothing at all;" Nintendo all but keeps that man in a plastic bubble surrounded by armed guards. Still, I can't stop thinking about Gunpei Yokoi, another creative genius who put together the Game Boy (you know, one of the most successful consoles of all time) and stumbled with the Virtual Boy. The subsequent chill he received from Nintendo's higher-ups caused him to resign from the company and then he died on the way to a job interview.

I'm a bit neurotic and prone to snowballing bad thoughts. Can you tell?

I understand that a failed game is far less damaging than a failed system, except, of course, for E.T. Miyamoto will likely be all right, but I feel like a mother whose kid spent weeks on a science project that was laughed at. I want to go to Japan and give Miyamoto chicken soup and a hug.

Related Links:

Miyamoto Says, "It Would Be Great If Music Education Started With Wii Music."
Toys Are Better Than Video Games?
Wii Are Not Amused

Miyamoto Says, "It Would Be Great If Music Education Started With Wii Music."

Nadia Oxford — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:56:00 GMT

As if I didn't already have to listen to my father go on about "these goddamn kids today who don't want to learn real guitar 'cause of Guitar Hero," now we have Shigeru Miyamoto himself talking about how awesome the world would be if music education started with Wii Music.

Iwata and Miyamoto discussed Wii Music on "Creator's Voice," a developer session hosted on Nintendo's web site.

Iwata: Well, there, with Wii Music, there's a strong possibility of raising people's basic level of music education.

Miyamoto: Yes. Thus, from now, I've even thought it would it would be great if kindergartens or elementary schools got Wii Music and began kid's music education with that...

My first school-related music experience involved garbage bags stretched over tin cans and held in place with rubber bands. How can we even think of replacing real instruments with such false, plastic alternatives?

Really, I'm kind of curious about Wii Music. Everyone scorned it at E3 2008, but everyone laughed at Wii Fit, too. Now everyone I know, and not just my grandmother, wants Wii Fit. We're talking about men who rock the Halo.

Miyamoto said something else that caught my paltry attention:

"I haven't really felt the happiness from making other games that I've had felt making Wii Music... I wasn't this excited while making Super Mario Bros."

Call me Looney Tunes, but it seems to me that only good things can come from a project that Miyamoto loved working on.

Related Links:

Toys are "Better Than Video Games"?
All Ages: Viva Pinata and Building Games for Children
Mario Will Not Retire. He Will Outlive Us All

No Alternate Soundtrack: Donkey Kong Jungle Beat

Derrick Sanskrit — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Nearly a full year before the first Guitar Hero introduced gamers to the now all-too familiar concept of game controllers shaped like musical instruments, Nintendo released Donkey Kong Jungle Beat for the Gamecube worldwide. The game was a platformer in the vein of Donkey Kong Country that overlooked the Gamecube controller in favor of the DK Bongo peripheral used earlier for Donkey Konga, a rhythm game that aped (oh god, sorry about that) its own development team's Taiko Drum Master series of games. Rather than come off as gimmicky as a result of this peripheral use, though, Jungle Beat felt fresh and intuitive and was praised by critics for its innovation. Years before the Wii would get gamers off their butts, Jungle Beat was moving players and causing them to work up a sweat, all while playing a traditional platformer.

It couldn't have been much simpler. To move DK left, you tapped the left bongo. To move right, tap right. Hit both the jump. Clap or hit the sides of the bongos to cause DK to pound his chest, which sent out powerful vibrations. That was pretty much it, with a few more specialized moves taught along the way. Incredibly easy to learn, and so thoroughly well designed that there was never a dry well of possibility in the adventure. The music in the game itself was typical Donkey Kong Country fair, but none of that mattered because the sounds of the game were utterly muffled by the slaps, pounds and claps of yourself, the player, getting downright primal in your control of the hairy hero. Yes, the bongo controls were merely remapped Gamecube controller button presses, so you could play more quietly with a standard controller, but that defeated the entire purpose of the game, and sucked a huge chunk of the fun out.

If your palms aren't sore watching that video, you obviously haven't played this game yet.

Three reasons to pick up Donkey Kong Jungle Beat:

1 - It was the first game developed by Nintendo's EAD Software Group Tokyo development team. Their second game? Super Mario Galaxy.

2 - It's a workout. Your muscles will be more sore after three kingdoms of Jungle Beat than several hours of intense Wii Sports. The only other video game to make me sweat this much has been Wii Fit, specifically the long runs around the island. Plus, as it's actually a traditional game and not a casual sports/fitness simulation, you'll feel like you're actually accomplishing something.

3 - As a Gamecube game (which still plays on your Wii just fine), it's dirt cheap these days. I was able to get both the bongos and the game brand-new for under twenty dollars total.

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It's My Tetris Party And I Can Waggle If I Want To

Derrick Sanskrit — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Named by Entertainment Weekly as the number 1 "new classic" video game of the past twenty-five years (almost all of video game history), it was never a question of if Tetris would grace Nintendo's wildly popular WiiWare digital distribution service, but when. While we still don't have a precise date, Official Nintendo Magazine has confirmed that the Hudson Soft developed Tetris Party will be released this autumn with a slew of Wii-specific features.

Obviously, Mii integration is a must. They make parents and children happy and were an absolutely charming addition to Dr. Mario Online RX. Wi-Fi multiplayer? Of course, but we had that in Tetris DS. We all love Tetris and will play it forever, but what makes this version new? Why, ten never-before-seen modes of play, naturally! These modes will include IR pointing-and-shooting support for the Wii Balance Board (seen implemented above, apparently).

A new Tetris on the Wii is bound to be a huge hit with the casual mom-and-pop crowd, assuming they can figure out how to download WiiWare. While many would look at the new game modes and argue "if it ain't broke...", and while 99% of Tetris players will never play any mode other than traditional "clear the stack", I must admit that I rather enjoyed all of the alternate takes on Tetris presented in Tetris DS. From the "Push" versus mode where two players took either side of a single stack and tried to push it towards the opponent to the "Catch" mode where the player rotated and navigated a single satellite as it collected floating Tetris blocks in space, these modes took the familiar Tetris formula and introduced new twists and mechanics that kept the experience fresh and exciting for those looking for a new challenge. While I have no idea how much fun shooting or balancing Tetris blocks will be in practice, I'm certainly willing to give it a shot when Tetris Party hits WiiWare this autumn.

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NSFW: The Top Five Game-Based Pornos

John Constantine — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Seriously. Not safe for work.

As they used to say back on the farm, if it exists on this here planet, you can be cocksure there’s a porno based on it. Okay, you caught me. I didn’t grow up on a farm. I grew up in the middle of a lot of farms though, and I’m telling you, people on those farms used to say this all the time. The past twelve years of browsing the internet have taught me that this age-old maxim is absolutely true. Hollywood movie parodies have been a rich and lasting resource for triple-x features forever, birthing immortal classics like Edward Penishands, so videogames seem like a no-brainer. That’s not even taking into consideration modern gaming’s largely Japanese origins and that country’s penchant for all manner of costume-related perversions. We at 61 Frames Per Second, being the powerful cultural critics we are, have compiled this list of the top five Game-Based Pornos from east and west. Be warned: continuing to read may cause embarrassment for humanity, uncontrollable laughter, and occasional revulsion.

#5) Super Hornio Bros.

The image above is an internet staple, the “film” an affront against the senses. Yes, shortly after Nintendo allowed Bob Hoskins to play the world’s most recognizable gaming icon on the silverscreen, director Buck Adams cast Ron Jeremy as Hornio, the overalls-clad plumber star of Super Hornio Bros. Rumor has it that the day the video shipped to adult boutiques across the land, Shigeru Miyamoto threw up for over twelve hours straight and was institutionalized for a month.

#4) Many, Many Tifa Lockhart of Final Fantasy VII Videos

Final Fantasy VII was the RPG that changed the world, making cinematic presentation an integral part of game design and bringing role-playing out of the basement and into the mainstream. Most people say this is because of the epic for-its-time presentation. I say it was because Squaresoft decided to put giant boobs in it. The character of Tifa Lockhart, barely clothed and sporting some serious back-problem-causers, was a shameless move to sex-up the series and, unsurprisingly, it worked. There are literally hundreds of pornographic films in Japan starring actresses dressed up like Tifa (the pictured title spices things up even more with the star playing even more game stars, like Darkstalkers’ Morrigan.) For the record, I only know that many exist after research for this article. Seriously…

#3) WhoreLore – World of Whorecraft and Age of Bonan

WhoreLore is a special case because, like its multiple inspirations, it’s persistent. Formerly known as the World of Whorecraft, WhoreLore makes episodic, eerily accurate hardcore fare based on Blizzard’s World of Warcraft and Funcom’s recently released Age of Conan. They don’t go to the point of listing what kind of stat losses the actors experience as they disrobe, but the costumes, make-up, and dialogue are spot on. Bonan even goes so far as to literally recreate the opening mission of Age of Conan. For anyone out there feeling some kind of shame for their love of MMOs, don’t. Porn stars are just like you and are, apparently, even nerdier.

#2) Geki Fit

and

#1) Chinpo o Kitaeru Otona no Ingenware Training (Dick Drilling Adult's Lewd Word Self Training)

Like I said before, everything eventually becomes subject matter for porn. Everything. But our number one and two entries have left me incredulous. They are wholly strange, totally silly, and utterly Japanese. Both are based Nintendo’s most recent successes, specifically their non-games. These are lifestyle enhancers more than goal-oriented, character-driven “games”, which makes the smut they’ve inspired even more peculiar. Number two is Geki Fit. Inspired by Wii Fit, it is one-hundred and fifteen minutes of lewd yoga poses viewed from increasingly voyeuristic camera angles. There isn’t even any nudity. I’m not making this up.

Number one is Chinpo o Kitaeru Otona no Ingenware Training. Translated as Dick Drilling Adult's Lewd Word Self Training, it’s based on the Nintendo DS phenomenon, Brain Age. Yes, that’s right. It’s porn based on WORD PUZZLES AND MATH! Have you ever played these Brain Age games, dear reader? A disembodied, polygonal head quizzes you repeatedly with brain teasers and then judges your intelligence. I can’t even begin to imagine what this DVD is like. Does it ask you to read out loud? Does it ask you to memorize as many words as possible in thirty seconds? I have nightmares about people using this as a marital aid.

Nintendo, next time you’re trying to think of a clever name for a line of videogames, do not call them “Touch Generations”. Look what you did.

Many thanks to Kotaku, J-List, 1P Start, and Whorelore in the compilation of this staggering achievement in journalism.

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Whatcha Playing: Fallout (Metaphorically Speaking)

John Constantine — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Truth to tell, I’ve never played a Fallout game. The vast majority of my gaming career has been spent in front of a television, not a monitor, my hands clutching a controller instead of hovering over a keyboard. It’s not a point of pride, let me tell you. Not gaming on a PC throughout the ‘90s meant you were perpetually on the outside of the cutting edge, waiting for advancements to come to Nintendo, Sony, or whoever else’s systems sometimes years later. Deus Ex, Half-Life, Diablo, even Sierra’s King’s Quest V, all games I’ve gotten to try my hand at, eventually, when they were ported to a console, shadows of their former selves. It’s even kept me from really experiencing whole genres; I’ve never played a real-time strategy game for more than a few minutes and my aging laptop could barely run World of Warcraft when I tried it out in 2005. Since that year, though, consoles have started gaining on PCs as the place where developers make their greatest strides. It’s not too surprising. Consoles have turned into high-end computers themselves.

Since finishing off Metal Gear Solid 4 a week and a half back, I haven’t played much of anything. I’ve spent spring 2008 devouring the cutting edge, playing Grand Theft Auto 4, Rock Band, Wii Fit, Hideo Kojima’s magnum opus, playing and replaying the games on Valve’s Orange Box, my morning commute spent with the best the PSP and DS have to offer with games like Crisis Core and The World Ends With You. As summer starts to kick into high gear, I’m finding myself grateful for the encroaching lull in the release schedule. I suppose it’s the fallout from too much of the present. Maybe this is why today’s reveal of Mega Man 9 has me so excited. Art, whatever shape it comes in, doesn’t always need to push at the future’s edges. Sometimes its greatest delights are slightly behind tomorrow.

Previous Whatcha Playings.

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Sweating it Out: How Fitness is Changing the Public’s Opinion of Games

John Constantine — Thu, 29 May 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Image courtesy of San Francisco Chronicle

The Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, “the nation's largest philanthropy devoted exclusively to improving the health and health care of all Americans”, announced today that they will be awarding $2 million in grants to twelve research teams across the United States to support research proving the benefits of health and fitness based videogames. It’s obvious that the recent surge of interest in fitness gaming has more than a little to do with the popularity of Nintendo’s Wii and the monolithic marketing blitz surrounding Wii Fit. But gaming as a method to curb obesity in the US has been gaining momentum since early 2006, when West Virginia began working with Konami to outfit public school gym classes with Dance Dance Revolution machines.

While videogames are still an easy target for news media controversy, the tide is changing in a big way. Dr. Laurence Kutner and Dr. Cheryl Olson’s Grand Theft Childhood was one of the first even-handed pieces of popular literature on gaming’s effects on youth mental health when it came out in April and it received ample press attention. The RWJF’s grant drive is another signifier that the positive mental and physical health benefits of videogames are starting to gain a foot hold over the medium’s association with antisocial behavior. It may not be a brand new day quite yet, but we’re getting there.

Whatcha Playing: A Little Singin’, a Little Dancin’

John Constantine — Fri, 23 May 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Last Saturday, I woke up, put on the coffee, and sat down on the couch with the full intention of finishing off the remaining story missions in Grand Theft Auto 4. As the day wore on, though, I found myself continuing to ignore the controller, unable to muster the enthusiasm to play at being a hardened criminal. A whole Saturday was passing me by, gameless. It wasn’t until around nine o’clock that my roommate and I decided to bust out Rock Band that I got to gaming. I’ve been fairly indifferent to the music game revolution of the passed two years for one very specific reason: I suck at Guitar Hero. My finger dexterity simply doesn’t match my thumb dexterity. But, since a friend loaned his copy of Rock Band to my apartment full of twenty-something ne’er-do-wells, I’ve come to see the light, and it’s all thanks to singing. Karaoke videogames are too laden with pop and karaoke bars are simply too expensive for a man of my meager means. Rock Band lets me be Ozzy, Kurt, Shirley Manson, and Ad-Rock and the experience has been eye opening. Even more so than the Wii, Rock Band has proven to me the opportunity offered by alternative forms of control in games. And rest assured, Rock Band is a game, a clearly defined set of rules adhered to in order to achieve a specific goal. I just never thought my drunken rendition of “Say It Ain’t So” would ever be the route to the highest score or the next level.

I still haven’t finished Grand Theft Auto 4 but last night, I tried Wii Fit for the first time, adding a little more physicality to my recent digital rocking. I’m about as sore today as I was after three hours of drumming and singing. I’m not quite sure if Wii Fit is the product it’s been touted to be. So far, it’s missing Nintendo’s secret ingredient: fun. But more on that next week.

Previous Watcha Playings:

Another Slice of Cake

BS Zelda

With a Little Help From My Friends

The 61FPS Review: Wii Fit Part 1

John Constantine — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Written by Derrick Sanskrit

I found myself cycling through all the photos on my hard drive this past weekend, remembering all the good times I had in college and the wacky stuff I've done in the years since. What I didn't expect to see, though, was the radical change in my appearance. I am in no way obese but I'm noticeably lumpier than my sleek and slim sophomore self. My nightly routine of sit-ups was replaced by senior thesis work. Then came the workaday world of sitting on my ass and eating greasy food. I'm not looking to lose a lot of weight or have rippling biceps, and I sure as heck don't have the time or energy to go join a gym. I want an easy way to define my body a little better and have fun doing it.

I got my copy of Nintendo's Wii Fit a few days ago. This new "game" uses a scale-like board that you stand on to track your balance as you play through various activities designed to help you work on your muscles and posture. Here’s what I think after the first three days:

First, this software is designed to be relaxing. The music is gentle, the colors are bright but subdued; the overall tone is very calm. Even when you break a sweat (and you will break a sweat), it never feels like the game is pushing you too hard. I was delighted by the slow rhythmic whistles during the Strength Training exercises that signal when you should be in a new position. I used to try to do as many push-ups as I could as quickly as I could just to get them over with, but working along with these whistles forces me to slow down, which simultaneously creates a greater reaction in my muscles and relaxes the tension in my arms so I don't burn out as easily.

While the Strength Training section of activities aims to tone muscle mass, the Aerobics section is strictly focused on burning calories. The most fun of these so far is the hula hoop activity. You stand on the board and rotate your hips, just like it sounds, and your Mii avatar mimics your movements. Occasionally you must tilt your body to the side in order to catch another hoop as your other Miis (You do have a slew of Miis made of all your friends and favorite celebrities, right? Of course you do!) toss them to you. It’s an incredibly simple task, but by the end of the two minutes you will definitely be feeling active. I also enjoyed jogging, wherein you slip the Wii Remote in your pants pocket - you can also hold it in your hand, if you don't have pockets - and jog in-place as your Mii goes for a run through a pristine park. The game encourages you to jog at a comfortable pace and deters cheating by making your Mii trip and fall if the remote shakes at an unrealistic running speed. Had it not been for the clearly defined course and all my virtual friends, family, and Michael Jackson rooting me on, I probably would have stopped running about halfway through the park, but the goal in sight encourages you to keep at it, and making it to that finish line really does feel like a reward, despite the gentle burning in your lower chest.

Having never done any yoga before, I was impressed with how calming this portion of the game is. The first activity is breathing. Hey, I can do that! Deep, slow breathing keeping your balance as centered as possible calms and readies you for the next activity. The on-screen trainer - you can choose a male or female. I recommend whichever one is least likely to distract you - demonstrates each step of the pose for you, so a complete novice can replicate them with relative ease. After my first run-though of the Half-Moon stance I felt an unfamiliar stretching in both of my sides and my arms, but I felt even more invigorated and awake. Yoga has been my favorite way to start the day since I first acquired Wii Fit.

The fourth set of activities is balance games. These are, as the name implies, the most game-like activities in the software, with balance controlled rounds of ski jumping, slalom, tightrope walking, and more. These are certainly fun, and inspire a good bit of competition - my sister and I kept attempting to best each other's ski jumps all night - but these activities are where the balance board shows its weaknesses. The skiing asks you to crouch down in order to accelerate, but when my sister crouches down, she pushes her weight to the balls of her feet. The game interprets this as leaning backwards and slows her down. It took a few tries to get her used to really leaning forward. It is also difficult to precisely control your movements when heading oncoming soccer balls. You naturally tilt your upper body and head from side to side, but most people I've seen push down on their left foot when they lean to the right and vice versa. The game expects you to tilt all of your body weight in the direction of the ball.

Finally, separate from the training activities is Body Test, the physical equivalent of Brain Age Tests in the popular Brain Age games for Nintendo DS. You engage in two randomly chosen balance tests and, based on your balance performance, weight, previously input height and date of birth, the game assigns your Body Mass Index (with optional weight) and Fitness Age. Much like in Brain Age, my results have fluctuated a bit the first few days but have (thankfully) never veered too far from my actual age. You can set wight loss (or gain) goals in two-week intervals and the game will tell you whether you’re on track for those goals.

So far, despite a few issues, Wii Fit has succeeded in getting my friends, family and I genuinely excited about exercising again. The more time you spend training, the more activities you unlock, so there's still a lot for me to try out. Will I still be excited about my morning yoga in two weeks? I don't know, but I hope so. Be on the lookout for part two of this review after I've had a little more time with Wii Fit and, hopefully, lost a couple of pounds.

What Are All These People Waiting For?

Peter Smith — Wed, 21 May 2008 16:00:00 GMT

(Don't look at the filename, cheater.)

That's right, it's the line for Wii Fit in New York's trendy SoHo district! (This is a funny thing to type, y'see, because we work here, and are chronically underdressed.) I asked the people at the front if this was the Wii Fit line, and they snarlingly gestured behind them and said, "This is the Wii Fit line!" Luckily, I managed to escape getting clobbered with an expensive handbag, while my colleague John snagged the last copy; expect a report shortly.