I spent a good deal of time in the airport a couple days ago and consequently wandered past a bunch of magazine covers. I don't watch TV and am not much interested in celebrity, so various bits of media gossip had passed me by.
Apparently we are feeling sorry for poor Jen this week.
Poor poor Jennifer Aniston dumped again.
Boo hoo hoo.
Yeah, it must really suck having sex repeatedly with Brad Pitt and Vince Vaughn and the other couple of pretty boys whose names escape me. That must've been a real chore. And it must be really stressful to have all that money too. No wonder we're all feeling so bad for her.
One magazine claimed she's just desperate to start a family. But if that were true, why would she pick a nob-end like John Mayer to get involved with? (Disclaimer--he may not be a nob end. I just needed an excuse to use the expression) Surely she could take a leaf out of her rivals book and go pick up a child from a third world country. If it's good enough for Angelina and Madonna, it ought to be good enough for her.
Who said she's desperate to get married and have children anyway? Is she just "supposed" to do that because that's what chicks do? Especially chicks of a certain age. Maybe she has no desire to get married and have children at all. But maybe she's very aware of her audience of boys in cardigans and girls with flicked hair and she knows that they would ditch her if she announced that actually she's a total slapper and would like nothing better than to be gangbanged by as many celebs as possible. (My apologies--I got somewhat carried away with the "Jennifer Aniston is a slut" premise)
And why does no one ever mention that she has one eye substantially larger than the other? The tabloids are so mean usually. That is the biggest mystery of all. Although maybe if she admitted that her true passion was getting laid by A list actors rather than having a family, she'd lose her good girl image and the media would tease her about her squiffy eye. Yeah, that's it.
See that is why I don't date A listers. I already have a family, so don't have the procreation excuse. The press would destroy me.
