Most men don’t need a specific position, or permutation in order to climax. Just sufficient invigoration and we’re off to the races. A lot of women however have a defined formula to get them where they wanna go, and once you’ve found this formula, this becomes the finish line for – ‘relationship sex’.

Point A can start any way whatsoever, from a playful game of boggle, to shoving anal beads up the neighbor’s cat. Point B however, ends with the defined formula to achieve HER orgasm.

A lot of the time, sex in a relationship is like a deluxe jerk-off. Optimally, both parties achieve satisfaction in a stimulating if not slightly perfunctory way. All the ‘go-to’ maneuvers are in place, and climax is pretty much ensured. It’s consistently decent – unless it’s not. To me consistent decency is what you want to shoot for in every aspect of life, whether it be a restaurant, a bowel movement, or relationship sex. If the consistency is not there, problems ensue. Some people have a problem with describing sexual intimacy as 'decent' - my girlfriend included - but to me 'decency' ranks right up there with any of the superlatives. Personally speaking, if I can maintain consistently decent sex after a year with someone, then that's the top of the pops! Usually I get sick of fucking the same person after 3-4 months. 

Now, I’m not saying that ‘relationship sex’ shouldn’t vary in terms of eroticism, physicality, or emotional investment, I’m just saying one shouldn’t expect ‘le sex show’ every night. In the first place, I was never one of those ‘sex guys’ anyway. I mean, I enjoy it don’t get me wrong, it’s just not my fucking raison d’etre. I’ve known those types of guys, they’re the ones getting ‘happy endings’ at some Korean massage parlor in mid-town. They’re the ones with skin that looks like it’s been soaked in the brine of a thousand cunts.

That’s just not me.

I don’t think a relationship should revolve around sex. Sure, it should be part of it, but lets be honest here, once you’re with someone for a while, sex becomes just another thing you both do together, like having dinner, or watching the tube. Of course, once you’re in the thick of it, your brain shuts off and you turn into the monkey, but the world floods in almost instantly upon orgasm, almost as if it had all been a dream.

Some people are hyper-sexual, and in turn their relationships become sexualized. I’ve never known that to work long term. At least I’ve never experienced that – of course I’m not hyper-sexual. That’s not to say that I’m grandma moses in the sack, I’m just not a guy who has oils and vibrating eggs in a ‘goodie drawer’.

It’s just one leg of the three legged stool that makes it all up.

1)Sex, 2) liking their brain, and 3) accepting and enjoying them for who they are – because they’ll never change anyway.

bar rafieli

one year anniversary

bachmann turns my stomach overdrive

dream date

i love ya but i don't like ya

how i met my girlfriend

valentines day

blogger doodles

octomom

sexual pet peeves

date with a transvestite - blogger doodle

sex with ichat

the myth of the bad boy

blind leading the blind

facebook 25 responses