I am up early this morning waiting for the appraiser to view my house, put me through hell for 20 minutes and then determine whether or not my interest rate can be lowered. My financial life hangs in the balance of some shabby little man with bad breath and a bad attitude. (My apologies if you are an appraiser since the truth can sting)
The house is deadly quiet. The 6 Austrians staying upstairs that I hoped would be out sightseeing are clearly still asleep and will be sprawled everywhere when he arrives. I am wrangling with the choice of trying to explain them away or simply pretending I do not see them as we move through the apartment. My children remain asleep having consumed bucket loads of easter eggs and gone to bed too late. They will wake groggy and demanding at the most inopportune moment.
If it isn't abundantly clear, the day is threatening to go pear shaped.
There's nothing I can do but wait - the house has been staged so I don't want to mess it up by starting some new project - so I misguidedly decided to review the available men on Nerve.com. This did not exactly alleviate my dank mood.
I've been on the site for two years. And apparently so has each and every man in the 38 to 50 age range that the search function just threw at me. Presumably we didn't all sign up on the same day though so it can be reasonably assumed that some have been here longer. Many men, who clearly did not major in marketing, have their sign up date displayed thus advertising the fact that they've been at this game for as long as 5 years.
I flicked though page after page, refamiliarizing myself with various profiles and annoying headlines. "Ugh, not you again", "Quelle surprise - you're still here" etc etc. I saw the ones that I've dated: ones that looked nothing like their photo, ones with fatal personality flaws, the ones that I liked, but didn't like me and so on.
I read with a sinking feeling as I just don't need to see the same old faces knowing that they are not my "one". Presumably many men have the same response to me when they trawl through the listings: "Oh gee, airheadgenius is still here. Still pitching that ridiculously long profile".
That's not good.
So, today's question is: Does this work for anyone? I don't want to be doing this in my dotage.
Here are some I made earlier:
Do you attract douchebags?
Jaded or pragmatic?
Let down badly by an Englishman
Dating and dying
Do your friends hook you up?
Is size everything?
Why isn't his guy on Nerve and just itching for a short blonde chick just past her prime?
