Date Machine

Personals Drama: The sexiest man alive! aka More Naked Photos

Posted by airheadgenius

Today, I varnished the staircases and then, admittedly a little giddy from the polyurethane fumes, decided to check out the newest members on the sex machine that is Nerve.com

I wish I could post the real photo here, but suffice it to say that this one is freakishly similar, albeit less hairy:

 

Here's the profile: (he declined to divulge his height and body type from the get go, but then announced it in his charming little description of himself)

"When i see a good looking woman I dream about taking her close off.An having my way with her night an day. I am 5'5 165lbs an horn as hell.....love fishing,camping,hiking an making love in the car after a long ride in the car"

Ladies, form an orderly queue please.

 

Here are some I made earlier:
Naked Photos
Ever decreasing circles - have you dated the same men as me?
Way too much information
ahg, zeit, ambo threesome plus booty calls
Is this thing on? Does anyone find love on Nerve?
Do you attract douchebags?
Jaded or pragmatic?
Let down badly by an Englishman

 

 

Now on to my Daily Knob: I should've been seeing him live tomorrow night if a) my friends weren't so lame and b) he hadn't cancelled.

This song was, of course, written entirely for me

 

 

 




+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Apr 23 2009, 02:55 PM
Filed under: , , ,

Comments

vix_en25 said:

mmmmmm break me off a piece of that!

now seriously:

EW.

April 23, 2009 3:27 PM

zeroaccess said:

I like the "having my way with her after the car ride"- it means he plans nice things for his girl.

April 23, 2009 5:55 PM

obesely morbid said:

He probably likes "making love in the car after a long ride in the car" because it's much too much effort to extricate himself from the car.

I'll wager you're not aware that your "fat man" graphic is actually Futurama's Bender the robot, from the "What-if Machine" episode in which he becomes human.  I don't see you as a Futurama fan.

And did anyone else think for a moment that "varnishing the staircases" was some quaint British euphemism?

April 23, 2009 10:52 PM

obesely morbid said:

Okay, I saw the "horny as hell" tag and now realize that "varnishing" WAS a euphemism.  I was simply thrown off by my reflexive visualization of the geometry of a staircase.  I suppose I should have visualized a SPIRAL staircase.

April 23, 2009 10:58 PM

CONFESSION OF THE DAY

CONFESS HERE!

ABOUT THE BLOG

DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

OUR BLOGGERS

FishnetsAndLight

Professional Dominatrix, lapsed English major and token black chick extraordinaire. I'm also a great big perv. Bend over.

Location:New York, New York
Looking for: Those who aren't too afraid.

Zeitgeisty

I'm an existentialist trapped in the body of a rational humanist. I've got a penchant for misanthropy and a flair for the obvious. I'm quick with a joke or a light up your smoke, but there's someplace that I'd rather be. I'm Zeitgeisty, pleased to meet me I'm sure. Visit my blog at www.walruscomix.com/zeitgeisty.

Location: Somewhere on the isle of Manhattan...
Looking for: A shining good deed in a weary world...

Airheadgenius

I am a fish out of water - an opinionated cheeky smiling English chick in a land of larger than life Americans. I don't understand the culture. I don't understand asking if we're exclusive. I don't understand this weird practice of decapitating penises. Some days I am definitely MILF material. Other days I feel more like the material on the inside of yer grannys' handbag.

Location: Brooklyn
Looking for: A stunning socialist with a propensity to pick winning lottery numbers

amboabe

I'm a smart ass writer who'll argue your ear off, hold your hand close, and tell you the truth whenever. I'm a fool and a hero, a confessional soul, and lover of life in every conceivably absurd way that it can come. I also paint my toenails.

Location: San Francisco
Looking for: A sail, not an anchor.

spjv840

Slightly neurotic, over-analyzing girl..err, woman, with too much charm for the average person to handle. Has a fondness for red wine, cheap beer and a good time.

Location: The Igloo, Canada
Looking for: Nothing mediocre

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