Browse by Tags

• Sex Machine: I F*ck On The First Date

  And if I don't, I at least try to have a hardcore makeout session. Read More... Posted Dec 17 2008, 03:50 PM by spjv840 with | with 12 comment(s) Filed under: sex, date machine, boobies, spjv840, sex machine, first date sex, dates, making out, waiting

• Date Machine: Setting Up Your Friends

  Being set up on a date by friends is a terrible paradox. It's briefly exciting to imagine meeting a brand new person who comes pre-ordained as attractive, intelligent, and beguiling by people you know and trust. That excitement quickly turns into disappointment when the vague premonition of the person turns into a fleshy, detailed reality. Predicting attraction is tough, and being friends with a person isn't always the clearest lens through which to view their relative merits as a partner. The few times friends have tried to set me I've almost always been uncomfortably reminded of my own shallowness. I usually feel mildly slighted. Can it be that my friends think I belong in the same pool of attractiveness with this foul beast?   Read More... Posted Dec 04 2008, 03:09 AM by amboabe with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: dating, nerve, date machine, amboabe, confession, dates, high school, dangle from a thread, tide pools, high school English, setting up your friends, surfing

• Date Machine: Scary Movies or I Peed My Pants

  I started watching horror movies when I was in elementary school. I didn't really like watching them, but I went along because my friends liked them and I wanted to be one of the dudes. I also liked proving to myself that I could stand to see them from start to finish, kind of like the exercise of sniffing the pickled herring my mom kept in the refrigerator; just to see how long I could stand the exposure before having to retreat. I've never seen a scary movie on a date. I used to be extraordinarily sensitive to horror movies, even though I forced myself to sit through them all the time. I remember staying up a whole entire night after seeing "Poltergeist 3" in the theaters. I kept hearing a scratching against my bedroom wall and I actually went outside at 3AM in total exasperation to prove to myself that it was just the wind pushing the branches of the rose bush along the side of the house and not some demon spawn trapped in the insulation.   Read More... Posted Oct 13 2008, 03:25 AM by amboabe with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: dating, date machine, amboabe, cloverfield, freddy krueger, vulnerability, hello mary lou prom night 2, horror, quarantine, fear, jason vorhees, horror movies, blair witch project, dates, alive, movies, pee my pants, zombies