Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

pinkboots — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 07:21:28 GMT

I'm curious too. Is it just pantomine and to get through the lonely inbetween moments or are your dates muses for your writing here? You have written that you aren't interested in meeting anyone, but you do continue to date. As a woman, the H story stung a little after reading what she wrote. It doesn't mean you're uncaring, but what your wrote about her didn't seem to match how you behaved when you were with her. Why do men do that? I think you are a wonderful writer and I look forward to reading what you write here, but I am really curious.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

Jamie — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 06:10:22 GMT

Have you been out with anyone recently that you haven't written about? Just curious.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

zeitgeisty — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:24:34 GMT

If you'd like to check out more of my writing/art/etc... check out www.walruscomix.com

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

amboabe — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:20:39 GMT

Thea: I don't have any books, and everything else I've published is videogame-related. Maybe I'll write about dating and videogames one of these days :)

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

Thea — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 04:12:44 GMT

The names thing wasn't about having balls to come out from behind an alias, it was about making it so I could google articles/stories/books you may have written! Silly.

The H episode just struck this horrifying chord in me, of all kinds of neurotic and paranoid doubts as to whether people I'm with are into me specifically or just into the experience of a successful date in a nice place with a pretty enough girl. Add sureptitiously guaging my so&so's level of earnesty (I know this isn't a real word) to my usual habits of checking motives and double-checking my own self in their eyes and it becomes crazy-making.

I think 'computer-chair psychoanalysis' can suffice for extrapolating someone's character based on their blog. You aren't my freedom fighter Ambo Mike, but you seem decent enough and you evidently aren't completely stonefaced. (Never mind the crying at work--eyes sometimes leak.)

Z I think you should order up some scratch n sniff business cards.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

airheadgenius — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:52:18 GMT

Z is a known quantity as he's an established blogger here and so is forgiven for transgressions. Amb is new and has to prove himself.

One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

Well — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:24:47 GMT

@Amboabe - Even you said that you were just going through the motions and bored, although possibly interested. It's not so much that you are not caring... but your actions didn't appear very caring.

But hey, how many of us have ended up in similar situations ~ even if we didn't admit to ourselves until much later our truer intentions, desires, or lack of true interest thereof. At least all of you have the guts to put it out here to entertain us, at the risk of being judged by those unwilling to make it a conversation.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

amboabe — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:35:22 GMT

Thea: Did you read my crying in public posts? My real name is Mike, if it makes a difference. Thanks for your comments, I really enjoyed reading them. It's so hard worrying about other people's feelings, and it often encroaches on self-displacing turf, like what I wrote about in the McCain date. Anyway, it saddens me to see how carried away with the whole H episode people have become in terms of extrapolating some charicature for me that is uncaring. I guess it's the easiest conclusion to reach, but that doesn't make it the true.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

zeitgeisty — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 04:07:17 GMT

I think I'm going to make up some business cards that say...

Zeitgeisty esq.

crude hipster enfant terrible.

won't do windows.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

Thea — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 03:49:31 GMT

I think it's a little bit smarmy when Amboabe goes through the motions and nuances of sensitive and interested dating yet doesn't actually care for the women he dates. Z uses his "brutal honesty" to be rude, but it's sometimes funny and sometimes even endearing. It's interesting how we have the unattainable A with all the trappings of a sensitive man yet slightly monstrous, and Z at the far end of the spectrum who is this crude hipster enfant terrible but happily paired.

Yes I'm up on a high horse here. But when I engage in reprehensible dishonest behavior I try to make sure nobody finds out who would be hurt (mostly successfully)... In any case, when he isn't aloof amboabe is such an incredible writer that he gets a pass. Like Rimbaud, who was a total prick but compensated for that in his work.

There, your ethics are rated. Both of you. (and I wish you guys wrote under your real names.)

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

aghmprettyok — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 02:49:07 GMT

Yes, I think amboabe is overly judgmental but I admire his introspection and reflection on things he has done that may have been hurtful.

And Z-I never said he wasn't a Stand Up Guy. Just flawed. Everyone is. Myself included.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

amboabe — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 01:11:33 GMT

Molly: What's the difference between a reaction and a judgement?

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

zeitgeisty — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:22:39 GMT

With defense like this I don't need attacks!

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

Molly — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:11:46 GMT

Aw, come on. Zeitgeisty sounds like a Stand Up Guy to me. He doesn't reflect as compulsively as Amboabe. And sometimes he writes like English is his second language. But he's happy and in love, and he's got a comfortably laissez faire attitude about his relationship, as evidenced by how little he cared when his gf read his email. Don't you know Amboabe would judge you for that--in addition to everything else he judges you on--and find you wanting?

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

amboabe — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:06:56 GMT

I declare a unilateral moritorium on all Tucker Max references from this point forward. I think I just peed my pants.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

dvaleriey — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 18:59:25 GMT

Amboeabe is in a good position of being single and FREEEEEEE! I say anything goes. All the feedback and experimentation will be a learning experience. I bet the first super great gal he meets will give him writers block.

With Mr. Z, I feel oddly protective. I'm constantly cringing and thinking, "Don't say that! You're gonna mess up your relationship! Women hate that!" He's put his gal through the ringer, but she's hanging in there. Shouldn't that say something about him?

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

zeitgeisty — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:40:05 GMT

I defend my positions, of course.. Why wouldn't I? They're my positions. As for questioning my behavior, I constantly do.. however, I try to prod, and poke people in questioning THEIRS as well... it's not all just about me here.. I constantly look back and re-evaluate, I don't think there's any way you could just make that blanket statement without knowing me personally...

as for me being a 'jerk' or an 'asshole'... Hey.. it's all in the eye of the beholder...

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

aghmprettyok — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:32:18 GMT

Yeah but Z has no moral problem about any of the crap he does, often without the sense of looking back and reevaluating himself. I think that is how amboabe and Z differ fundamentally, with amboabe at least questioning his behavior and being able to listen to other people's input instead of just defending his position on the subject. And as for being honest-that shouldn't be just a cop-out for being a jerk. I hate to go into extremes but that is the main argument of Tucker Max, where he is being "honest" by being an "a-hole" Not saying anyone on this blog is-but there is a fine line between honesty and cruelty and I should know as I cross that line myself frequently enough.

re: Date Machine: Rate My Ethics

zeitgeisty — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:38:43 GMT

As long as you don't use names... go for it I say. I have no moral problem writing about anyone I've been with...