Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

Thea — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:41:30 GMT

Sometimes it's fun to fuck people you find repulsive. Not every night but just once in a while so you can be your own most repulsive sex-pig self with no regard for anyone else.

@bizzarissima & Toluca~ Being introduced to the friends early on is so fraught with ambiguity and personally I think it sucks. It can be a sign of emotional laziness: making a gesture of commitment when there isn't necessarily the actual emotional currency to back it. I think it's a way for men to lock in their access. I am thinking in terms of mortgages and credit; what could possibly be more cynical?

I like to date average-looking men. Beautiful men make me suspicious. I guess I am small :(

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

dvaleriey — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:22:57 GMT

As someone who is always the girlfriend, I have never managed to effectively pull off a one-night-stand. They would always overstay their welcome and then I would end up engaged again (I have trouble turning down rings in romantic settings)! I am not a supermodel, nor have I ever modeled in any capacity. What are you gals doing to get rid of these fellows?

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

bizzarissima — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 10:09:49 GMT

@Toluca: I think it can be both, meaning seeing potential or making sure the sex continues. I for example, don't like to stay sexually connected to someone who sees just "potential" in me, when I invest emotionally in the person. It seems to me that whenever I was confronted with this situation (whether the guy explicitly stated it or my intuition just unveiled it), some insecurity of mine was visible enough in order to make the man not confident enough in me in order to introduce me as the GF. Men are very sensitive creatures and they need to see you very self-possessed in order to offer their "protection", "love", "security", "stability". If they're not 101% sure about it, they will always hesitate, either in private context (being tender, sweet, loving to you) or in a social one (like the example you pointed out). My guess...;)

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

Toluca_86 — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 03:15:56 GMT

Which brings me to another question, actually -if someone you've started seeing invites you to dinner and introduces you to his friends, but not explicitly as a gf or as someone he's dating, is that a sign he likes you and sees potential, or just that he wants you to feel secure enough to continue sleeping with him?

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

Toluca_86 — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 03:13:24 GMT

I think the vast majority of women are "the girl that guys love to fuck, but not the girl who becomes a girlfriend" for the vast majority of guys, anyhow. At least, that would be the experience of just about everyone I know. Cultural expectations for guys are too low -like I've said on here before, if you want casual sex that's okay, but be open and forthright with me about it, otherwise you're not respecting me as a person. Maybe if you're a supermodel they'd actually compete to have you, but come on, it's not very common. (Oh, and for the record, the supermodel I know tends to date comparitively more average looking guys)

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

Musing_Mariah — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 02:27:23 GMT

This entry sadden me. I guess because I am the fat girl. Thankfully I have a pretty face, obnoxiously large breasts and good proportions, so people flirt with me and --get this-- even call me. However, I tend to be the girl that guys love to fuck, but not the girl who becomes a girlfriend. Hey, that brings me to a topic I would love see you guys write about: the difference between the girls you love to fuck and the girls you date. I refer to it as the difference between the 2:00am girl and the 2:00pm girl.

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

fishnetsandlight — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 21:55:46 GMT

Eh. Life's too short to worry about what other people think of the person you're with. We're all gonna end up with less hair and more fat eventually.

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

vix_en25 — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 18:35:16 GMT

Parisians are just as preoccupied by what other people think as Americans.

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

E-Claire — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 17:41:55 GMT

I doubt its an American thing. Its an anyone-who-fears-being-judged-and-is-affected-by-what-people-think thing

re: Nerve Confessions: Fat and Skinny, Ugly, Pretty

loobetchka — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 15:45:38 GMT

Its the external validation thing.. It's not that you DON'T think the person is unattractive.. YOU DO.. but it's the media that sells everyone on what is the standard for attractiveness.. and the American fear that people are judging you.. measuring your worth.. and the ridiculous idead that somehow your worth is diminshed because the person youre with doesnt fit into the mold that society deems pretty/handsome/thin...

You're right it's an American thing.. it's an external approbation thing..