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The Modern Materialist

Happy Hour: Wine Snobbery On Day of Beer and Whiskey

Posted by Steph Auteri

[$58, Red Envelope] 

I dread public transportation on St. Patrick's Day, as I invariably encounter the belligerent, drunk dude on the bus, the belligerent, drunk masses at Port Authority, and the belligerent, drunk slow-walkers-wearing-silly-hats on the streets of Lower Manhattan as I make my way from home to work. I may be belligerent as well in my own quiet, frowny, antisocial way, but I didn't drink obnoxiously green beer to get that way. 

Even if I could get away with being boozed-up at work, I would choose wildly different means to get that way.

Which is why I like to carry around my wine dossier* on St. Patrick's Day: To remind others that I am a far classier drunk than they are. So please get the eff out my face with the beer-breath.

You could purchase your own dossier (I just enjoy saying that word out loud) at Red Envelope. Made with genuine leather and with a storage capacity of up to 31 wine labels, you can now display the fruits of your chuggage by recording the vintage, origin, price, source, occasion, and meal accompanying each finished bottle of wine, along with detailed tasting remarks.

"Yellow Tail Shiraz, Australia, $8, corner liquor shop, drinking my sorrows away, Hungry Man" does not count. 

*Okay, I don't actually own a wine dossier but, if I did, you can bet that I'd be lording it over all my lower-class acquaintances.


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Mar 17 2008, 09:00 AM
Filed under: , , ,

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About Steph Auteri

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site -- stephiswrite.com -- and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom.com. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page, http://twitter.com/stephauteri.

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    • about the blogger

    Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

    Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

    Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site http://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

    Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

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