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The Modern Materialist

Remedy for Not-So-Skinny Days

Posted by Wendy Atterberry

 

I admit it, I put on a few pounds in the last year. I mean, it's not like I'm out of control or anything, but being in a serious relationship has definitely made me ease up a bit on the daily work-outs and watching the carb intake and all that crap. Plus, my boyfriend and I like a drink (or 2 or 3) together in the evenings and well, that adds up after awhile and before you know it, even the "fat jeans" are feeling tight. Not to worry, though, I'm aware of it and I'm doing something about it (no more second or third cocktail every night...but I'll still have one, I mean come on, I'm not a nun! And I'm back to working out more again.) That said, it'll be a month or two before I'm down to my fighting weight and in the meantime, there are a few things I love to do when I'm still in my "chubby phase," like:

  1. Enjoy my bigger boobs
  2. Go to Saks, try on pants 4 sizes too small for me and ask the skinny, uppity sales lady, "Do these make my ass look big?"
  3. You should just see her squirm
  4. I mean, it's totally worth any potential embarrassment on my part
  5. Rub my belly and tell my boyfriend I think I might be preggers and then watch the color drain from his face
  6. Shoe shop! After all, feet don't change size no matter how many Cape Cods you drink or Cupcakes you eat

Right now, I've got my eye on these...

[were $126.95, now $39.97, Love My Shoes] 


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Mar 27 2008, 04:00 PM
Filed under: ,

Comments

D La G said:

cute!  Never try to shoe shop with steph... she has not embraced the magic that is a good pair of high heels!

March 27, 2008 9:02 PM

About Wendy Atterberry

Wendy is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. She loves dive bars, diners and dark movie theaters and hates when people talk with affected accents (like Madonna and Johnny Depp). She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

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    • about the blogger

    Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

    Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

    Steph Auteri is a freelance just-about-everything, with a special fondness for home goods she can't afford. She has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press and Nerve. She runs the blog selfhelpme.net, and her work can be found at stephiswrite.com.

    Editorial Director, Nerve Media:
    Michael Martin

    Send tips to modernmaterialist@nerve.com