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The Modern Materialist

Drivers Wanted...

Posted by Steph Auteri

I went through this phase in junior high where I wore really short short-shorts, belly tops, and my dad's old leather jacket, collected Harley Davidson paraphernalia, and longed for the powerful speed of my very own Harley or Kawasaki.

Unfortunately, lending me his jacket was the closest I would ever get to biker-status cool (um) until my college friend Tony G gave me a birthday card promising motorcycle rides for life.

Now, I'm working on a 400-word essay that will hopefully convince the members of team North American Eagle that I am the speed racer they need to pilot the jet car meant to break the 763 mph land speed world record set by Thrust SSC.

The 56-foot-long jet car pictured above is built from a salvaged 1957 Lockheed F-104 Starfighter runs on solid aluminium wheels (which are better able to withstand the heat), and burns 160 gallons of fuel a minute. It covers a mile in 4.5 seconds, and is apparently capable of reaching 800mph from standing in 20 seconds.

Eager driver applicants must send their 400-word essay — and a photo proving their sponsor-friendly good looks — to this e-mail.

I share this information only because I am confident in my ability to kick all y'all's asses. 

[Via Gizmodo


Posted Apr 18 2008, 12:00 PM
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About Steph Auteri

Steph Auteri is a freelance just-about-everything, with a special fondness for home goods she can't afford. She has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press and Nerve. She runs the blog selfhelpme.net, and her work can be found at stephiswrite.com.

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  • about the blogger

    Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

    Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

    Steph Auteri is a freelance just-about-everything, with a special fondness for home goods she can't afford. She has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press and Nerve. She runs the blog selfhelpme.net, and her work can be found at stephiswrite.com.

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