I’d like to formally thank our Big Sis Scanner Blog for, essentially, doing our job for us, by posting purchasable penises. Now, granted, we delivered dick diatribes just yesterday, but who wouldn’t want wangs out the wazoo?
So without further alliteration, here’s a bunch of trouser snake stuff:
Penis Camouflage is a fun game for your next party… Your next sexy party, that is. All you have to do is use the enclosed penis stamps, place one a piece of blank paper, and using a pen and your imagination, make it look like there’s no penis. Look, there’s even a free web version!
[$10, Penis Camouflage]
Next up, in a tangentially related post, the lovely and talented Miss Katie Halper discovered these horrifying looking penis Swizzle Sticks. Now, let’s get this out of the way: I am not gay, nor am I homo-phobic. But the human penis is totally gross looking. There’s nothing I can think I’d like to do less than look down at a tasty beverage, only to find a knotty, tiny penis looking back at me. This may explain why I don’t get invited to bachlorette parties.
[$7, 101Bacheloretteparties.com]
And finally just to tie in the title of this post, as well as trump our Scanner Siblings, check out this butane lighter w/pop-out penis, which, I kid you not is described as an, “unbelievable value,” with “many uses!” Okay, name two.
[$5, Vendio.com]
