Earlier today, I stopped by the local Rite-Aid, which is on most occasions the most oppresive, soul deadening pharmacy I've ever been to. No joke. However, they were now cranking up the Christmas Holiday music, and presents were everwhere! Which jacked this up to the Ninth Circle of Holiday Shopping Hell.

Naturally, I took so pictures of the absolute most horrifying gifts available, and decided to, magnaimously, share them with you. Oh, and in case you don't catch on, they go in order of awfulness:

As I mentioned, this is in descending order of awfulness. Nothing paarticularly terrible with a hot dog cooker... Except, there's already something instantly saddening about being given a 50% off hot dog cooker from the pharmacy for Christmas. Also, vaguely insulting that all the gift buyer knows about you is that you like hot dogs. Everybody likes hot dogs.

"Hey, Billy! How's the root beer from that kit I got you for the holidays? You know, the one that was science fun? I can taste some? Thanks, buddy. Mmm... Tastes a little salty. Mixed with your own tears, you say? Okay, keep it up, champ!"

Gift certificates are a cop out for any gift, but for the holidays? Wow. And there are some that are mildly passable on this wall of hell, like Barnes and Noble and Starbucks. But a $10 gift certificate to Burger King? What the fuck kind of gift is that? Fuck you.

"Hey Midge, what's that show the kids like? Is it High School... Musical, right? Okay, let's get them a $7 tin of High School Musical popcorn, they'll love that." Buying this at the check-out should automatically send up a red flag at Child Protection Services.

And last but not least is the Welcome Bear. Which is on this list not for what it is, but where it is. They have an entire store to place a Holiday Welcome Bear, and decide the best place is in front of yeast infection medicine and douches? Seriously? It was a toss up between posting this picture, and the one of the other Welcome Bear, which was, naturally, pointing to the Trojan Magnums.

So that's my experience... What's the worst holiday gift you've seen this year?