The Modern Materialist

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• Chocolate Covered Bacon + Video!

  For a blog obsessed with gadgets and doo-dads, it sure took us a long time to figure out how to use our webcam, didn’t it? In any case, the all-text portion of Modern Materialist’s life-span is over, as we have signed up for a YouTube account (that took us a while, too). So now, we’ll be bringing you videos of some of the latest gadgets and products we pick up, with our impressions and pretty mugs, now in muddled, unfocused, moving format. You can subscribe to our YouTube channel over here, and be sure to leave us a nice comment! Or two! To kick things off, Luca Chocolates from Ramseur, NC was nice to make me a special batch of chocolate covered bacon, fulfilling a life-long dream of mine. Check out the video after the jump, and then hit back for more info, and pricing: Read More... Posted May 09 2008, 02:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Videos, Food and Drink, chocolate, taste test, bacon

• Bigger Breasts Through Handjobs

  Best Week Ever has broken the biggest story of the year: you can get giant boobs by jacking off two guys at once. At least, according to The Journal of Applied Research, a very real sounding magazine cited by Easy Curves, an exercise machine that takes your boobs, lifts, and jams them together. Ridiculous video, after the jump...  Read More... Posted Apr 17 2008, 05:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, sexy, exercise

• International Dance Party

  This is, no joke, my favorite thing I’ve posted on this blog, ever. The International Dance Party is an art installation by Nikolas Roy and Adad Hannah that’s activated by dance. Why, what do you mean by that, Alex? Well, I’ll tell you. Basically, the IDP looks like an unassuming black case, until someone starts dancing next to it. This activates the IDP, and it will slowly start building the party. First, some lights will pop out, and an LED message will scan by saying “Dance to get the party started.” Then, the lights will start pulsing, and the music will get louder. Then it starts belching out fog from the internal fog machine. Then, it turns the lights down in the room. Yup. It actually turns the lights down. Automatically. When you start partying harder. More, including a video, and a chance for you guys to determine the price of the IDP, after the jump...  Read More... Posted Mar 26 2008, 11:00 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: gadgets, Videos, tech, Music, Dancing

• Product Porn: Tennis Ball Robot Meets Dog

  I think this dog has clearly been driven mad by his power, don't you? Thanks Jodi!  Posted Mar 20 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Product Porn, animals

• Product Porn: Siftables

  ...Because what we all need are hundreds of tiny computers you can accidentally put through the wash: Posted Mar 19 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, concepts, Product Porn

• Product Porn: Minority Report Display

  Hey, it's like an iPod Touch, except super large, and too many people can use it at the same time: Posted Mar 18 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Videos, concepts, Product Porn

• Product Porn: Aquaduct, The Coolest Bike Ever

  Hey, do you guys like water conservation? Do you like riding bikes? Do you like slow sad music? Then I've got a video for you: Now, I don't want to ruflle any feathers, but if they tweaked this bike so it could make fresh iced coffee while you ride it, I'd so be there. [Via OhGizmo!]  Posted Mar 14 2008, 11:00 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Product Porn, Bikes

• Product Porn: Sony Nav-U GPS

  Hey, they have the porn music down pat: Posted Mar 12 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: gadgets, Videos, Product Porn, GPS

• Product Porn: DJ Hand Mixer

  Dj Hand Mixer is, like, totally cooler than DJ Food Processor. Just my opinion. However, this is actually DJ mixer you can hold in the palm of your hand. It's approx. $800, and will be released at the end of the month. Until then, you can watch a charming English lady show you how to use it: Posted Mar 11 2008, 12:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: gadgets, Videos, Product Porn, Music

• Product Porn: Candle Cannon

  I'll admit, this only relates to product porn in that you can go buy your own, hand-held air cannon. But in terms of unbridled awesomeness? This relates to EVERYONE:  Posted Mar 10 2008, 11:30 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Product Porn

• Product Porn: Top Gun RC Microfighter

  You just know they wanted to use "Highway to the Danger Zone" SO BADLY, and couldn't: [Via Thoughts From the Sidelines]  Posted Mar 06 2008, 11:30 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, toys, Product Porn

• Product Porn: REEM-B, The Robot Butler

  Not to get picky, but this video starts with the totally ludicrous statement, "Do you think you've seen everything about robots?" Who thinks that? Are there a lot of people going around complaining about how robots are boring, and they're sick and tired of all the robots all over the place? NOBODY thinks that, as there ARE no robots all over the place. That being said, here's REEM-B, the robot butler of the future: [Via Born Rich]  Posted Mar 04 2008, 11:30 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Product Porn, Robots

• Product Porn: Firefly, The Game For Microsoft Surface

  Sarcastic Gamer got to hang out with Microsoft, and play with their Big Ass Table. Watch the video, and tell me this doesn't look like Hungry Hungry Fingers: Posted Mar 03 2008, 11:30 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Microsoft, video games, Product Porn

• Product Porn: Hi Can, The Ferrari of Beds

  Man, I'd like to sleep all over that. [Via Gizmodo]  Posted Feb 26 2008, 12:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Product Porn, Google, Gmail

• Product Porn: Samsung Micro Projector

  A little too amateur product porn for my taste (what, we can't get a coin or a hand in there for a size comparison?), but there's no denying this cigarette-case sized projector that connects to your PDA, or other mobile device, is one hot little number: [Via] Posted Feb 21 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: gadgets, Videos, Product Porn

• iPod Nano: The Largening

  All you need to make to watch larger video on your iPod Nano is re-code the video so it plays upside down, copy it to your Nano, take an old slide viewer, cut it up, insert speakers, and you're ready to go. Or, you know, don't buy an iPod Nano: Posted Feb 21 2008, 09:30 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Apple, iPod

• Product Porn: New iPhone Ad

  To make this ad work properly, say in your snottiest, most sarcastic voice, "What's so great about having the internet in your pocket, anyway?" Add an empty, hollow laugh, then press play: To be honest, iPhone ads are kind of like the Playboy of Product Porn at this point, aren't they? Meaning, you'll look at 'em if they're there, remember when they used to get you all hot and bothered, and then move on to something far dirtier. Posted Feb 20 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Videos, Apple, Product Porn

• Product Porn: Taser x12

  This isn't so much Prouct Porn, as a Product Snuff Video. Does anyone else get totally nervous around the term "Less Lethal Shotgun?"   [Via] Posted Feb 19 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: gadgets, Videos, Product Porn, weapons

• Product Porn: Rinspeed Squba, the Underwater Car

  Taking the least dangerous page from Bond's arsenal, Rinspeed have created an underwater car that actually works:   It's completely submersible, and also, completely green (it runs on rechargable lithium ion batteries). Good girl who turns out to be bad not included. [Via] Posted Feb 18 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, cars, concepts, Product Porn

• Toaster Porn

  It's Friday, so let's all get nice and sexed up, and make some toast: Can anyone figure out the brand on this sweet little baby? YouTube encoding does not make this video as crispy and delicious as, I'm sure, this toaster makes your bread. [Via] Posted Feb 15 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: Videos, Toasters

• Great Moments In Product-story: 1984

  There's been a lot of talk, with Apple's domination of the mp3 player market, that the House That Jobs Built is now the very thing it said it wasn't, back in 1984. I'm going to go out on a limb and say, "that's ridiculous," with a side of "if Big Brother gives us awesome shiny toys, then sign me up for the faceless technocracy." That debate aside, the 1984 commercial is a classic bit of marketing. Though Apple's approx. 6% share of the PC market over the past eighteen years may speak to how effectively they've taken down Big Brother, the impact of the advertisment is still very real, and very strong. I wonder whatever happened to the director? If you've got a suggestion for a great video you want us to post, let us know! Posted Feb 14 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Videos, Apple

• Great Moments In Product-story: Big Ass Table

  Hey, remember when Microsoft was all like, "We know what you iPhone users REALLY want: something bigger and less portable." And we all laughed at them? Seven months later, who can imagine their lives without Microsoft Surface? Microsoft's table-top software has revolutionized everything from kitchen tables, to coffee tables, to a third type of table. At least we can look back on this quaint parody and smile: If you've got a suggestion for a great video you want us to post, let us know! Posted Feb 13 2008, 10:00 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Microsoft

• Great Moments In Product-story: The Great iPhone Robbery

  Continuing our look back at the great moments in product video history of yester-year (literally; most of these are from last year), remember that time the iPhone came out? And a Fox News reporter was interviewing an analyst who had the iPhone in advance of it's launch? And some guy tried to grab the iPhone? But instead he grabbed the news reporter's microphone? Good times: If you've got a suggestion for a great video you want us to post, let us know! Posted Feb 12 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Apple

• Great Moments In Product-story: Nintendo 64 Kid

  Beyond the fact that I may need to come up with a better title for this series of posts, I thought it would be fun to review some of the great moments in product history, at least as seen through the lens of the observers camera, and then uploaded to your local internet video website. First up is the classic, the one, the only, Nintendo 64 Kid. I mean, who doesn't love screaming little boys (and their slightly less excited sisters). If Helen of Troy is the face that launched a thousand ships, then this is the Helen of Troy of parodies of this video. Okay, strained metaphor. Here, watch it and relive the magic: If you've got a suggestion for a great video you want us to post, let us know! Posted Feb 11 2008, 11:00 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Nintendo, Videos