The Modern Materialist

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• Pig In Boots!

  Eek! Cutest thing ever alert! The above pic is of an English piggy who was afraid of mud (!!!), so the farmer who owned her (her name is Cinders! Ack! I'm going to die) took the boots off a key-ring, and now she can happily play around in the sty without getting scared. I know. So how does this relate to you, the Modern Materialist reader?   Read More... Posted Jun 13 2008, 03:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: animals, Keychains, cute

• What Does Infinity Look Like?

  Not to get all spiritual on you guys, but what does the infinite look like? Is it the horizon as you see a beautiful sunset? Is it the face of the one you love, as you kiss for the first time? Perhaps it’s the eyes of a child? Or maybe it’s this: Read More... Posted May 29 2008, 04:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: animals, Aquariums, Pet Products

• How I Tried To Trap a Roach, and Then Fed It Peanut Butter

  I swear I’m not totally stupid. Really. So please, keep that in mind, as I tell you what happened this weekend. Saturday morning, I was doing a little cleaning in my apartment, when I glanced over to the kitchen, and saw a mouse run from the garbage, across the kitchen, and under the dishwasher. Now, I’m not really scared of mice the same way I am of bugs (yes, I’m a big strong man, I am), but the initial skittering, and the shock of seeing a mouse in the apartment made me kind of freak out. This freak out took the form of opening my front door, and standing to the side of the front door in the hallway, under the assumption that the mouse was just waiting for me to open the door to the apartment for it, so it could leave. After the intial shock wore off, I realized this was stupid, and it was just a mouse, and I should calm down. After the jump, I buy a trap, eat some peanut butter, and reveal why you may think I'm a total idiot...  Read More... Posted May 20 2008, 09:30 AM by Alex Zalben with | with 4 comment(s) Filed under: animals, Food and Drink, stupidity

• OctopusMe Jewelry Has a Secret

  The item pictured above has a secret. Want to know what it is? Ready? Read More... Posted May 14 2008, 12:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Jewelry, animals, Etsy

• Get Ready for the Fish-lympics

  They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but, as it turns out, you can teach a goldfish to play sports. Using operant conditioning, positive reinforcement, and the R2 Fish School Training Kit, your goldfish will be playing soccer in no time. Also, limbo, fetch, slalom, basketball, and much more. Check out a video of a fish playing Football, after the jump (and yes, the fish does jumps): Read More... Posted May 12 2008, 12:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: animals, Aquariums, Pet Products

• AntWorks Makes Ant Farms Futuristic, More Horrifying

  When I was younger, I was totally into creepy crawly stuff because, you know, I was a little boy. I liked venus fly traps, and in particular, feeding them. I liked playing with spiders. And, I loved ant farms. I never had the terrifying “Oops, I knocked over the ant farm, and now the ants are everywhere!” moment, but there was a point when I went from loving bugs to be being deathly afraid of them… I made have been the day I was covered in bees, or the time I found a bee in my pants, or the time I swallowed a bee*. Or maybe it was a years of bug horror that led to me absolutely loathing everything that creeps on six or eight legs. After the jump, more about my childhood trauma...  Read More... Posted Mar 20 2008, 01:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: toys, animals

• Product Porn: Tennis Ball Robot Meets Dog

  I think this dog has clearly been driven mad by his power, don't you? Thanks Jodi!  Posted Mar 20 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Videos, Product Porn, animals

• Art Prints for the Pooch

  [$24.95-$139.95, Mod-Dog]    Dog owners frighten me. Seriously. With their little dog sweaters and slippers and their rhinestone collars and their Halloween dog parades. And now there are fine art prints featuring various types of dogs, such as the mod pomeranian above.   I mean, I have a cat-shaped lamp and cat-centric Andy Warhol prints and cat porcelain figurines, and -- my god -- Gizmo just loved the water fountain I bought him last weekend.   But dog people? Seriously frightening.  Posted Feb 19 2008, 05:00 PM by Steph Auteri with | with no comments Filed under: walls, dogs, art, animals