The Modern Materialist

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• Guess The Price: UFO/CD Player

  Take a look at this CD Player. It comes with a remote, and has four valves for adjusting the sound quality. It plays one CD. I absolutely guarantee you will not guess how much it costs: Read More... Posted Jun 27 2008, 04:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 3 comment(s) Filed under: audio, home, expensive, entertainment

• How I Want To Die

  Not that I'm craving death for any reason, but if I do have to go, I think I'd like to be trapped in this. Why? Because the Ovei Pod is outfitted with awesome screens and surround sound, and can be customized with air conditioning, seat vibration, and more. Basically, I'm assuming you'd get trapped in here, and if I'm going to pass away, I'd like to do it while playing video games. That all being said, can you guess how much this costs?   Read More... Posted Jun 25 2008, 06:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: home, expensive, entertainment

• Roll With It

  Sure, this woman looks pretty happy now, but what about when she wants to clean her paint tray? She's going to get paint all over her, clog the drain, and never really be able to clean it. Want an easy solution? Read More... Posted Jun 19 2008, 01:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: home, painting

• Saunas: Not Just For Rich People Anymore

  I think the only times I’ve ever used a sauna have been when I was on vacation, at a hotel, they had a sauna, and someone else said, “Hey, you want to go in the sauna?” Then we would sit and sweat it out for about six minutes, before deciding to go buy some candy or watch some television or something. That being said, I recognize both the health benefits, and the appeal of a sauna, I just happen to be a person who wouldn’t mind living in perpetual winter, so the joys of sitting in a big hot box are lost on me. If you are one of those people who likes a sauna-sit now and again, you might be interested in this, relatively affortable sauna that you could probably even fit in your apartment, with a minimum of fuss and muss. Details, after the jump...  Read More... Posted May 22 2008, 05:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: gadgets, home

• Pet Tanning Bed

  This is how the world ends; not with a bang, but with a tanning bed for pets. Yes, you heard me… A company called Sunspa has decided that your cats and dogs aren’t orange and leathery enough, so they’ve decided to create a tanning bed specifically designed for pets. A caveat, after the jump...  Read More... Posted May 08 2008, 11:00 AM by Alex Zalben with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: gadgets, home, Pet Products, tanning

• Buy A Warhol Original For $100

  Andy Warhol is one of the most famous artists and celebrity figures of the twentieth century. Most of us, whether we like his art or not, would probably jump at the chance to get one of his originals for $100. And, after the jump, I’ll tell you how: Read More... Posted May 08 2008, 09:30 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: art, home, Mugs

• Squeegee Window Concept

  I feel like I spend a lot of time on this blog ripping apart the inherent design flaws in concepts, without necessarily suggesting anything positive to go in its place. This time, I AM going to rip this particular concept to shreds with my patented droll, sarcastic humor, but I’m also going to open up to you guys as to how you would improve this. This being a window with a built in squeegee. So what you do is, drag the window back and forth, and it cleans itself. Brilliant idea, right? Except for two things: Read More... Posted May 07 2008, 06:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: concepts, home, windows

• Have You Met Ms. Jones?

  I can’t tell whether these are creepy or neat, honestly. However, lets assume not creepy, for the moment, and the sake of pushing forward through this post. After the jump, more pics of things with heads on them...  Read More... Posted May 05 2008, 03:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: kitchen, home

• Naked Knobs Full of Beans

  There’s a reason the phrase “dumb as a doorknob” exists, and it’s not because doorknobs can’t talk. I mean, they can’t*, but point is, doorknobs are often boring affairs. Why not spice up your door-life, then, with Naked Knobs? More info, pics, and video, after the jump...  Read More... Posted May 05 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: home, doorknobs

• Brush Your Teeth With Teeth

  There’s something mildly creepy about this, and I can’t figure out what it is. To be fair, you’re supposed to use these as brushes for cleaning things that are NOT teeth, though I can’t help but picture cleaning your own teeth with much larger teeth. It’s like making out with your cleaning products, I guess? Oh wait, figured out what made it creepy: Read More... Posted Apr 30 2008, 03:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: Cleaning Products, home

• The MM Interview: Shayna Ferm and Her Amazing Sleep Machine

  Hooray! It’s a new feature, Materialistas, where I talk to people I like, about stuff they love. Today I’m chatting with comedian and graphic designer Shayna Ferm about her Homedics® SoundSpa Sound Machine, which she says she can no longer sleep without. Let’s kick this off, shall we? MM: Hi Shayna! Tell me a little bit about why you wanted to buy a sound machine (or how you got it, if it was a present)? SF: I fell in love with a sound machine that an ex-boyfriend had at his apartment about 8 or 9 years ago.  He used to keep it on "white noise" and I could hear this high-pitched sort of music in it and if I focused on that, I would immediately fall asleep.  I loved it but never thought to buy my own after we broke up.  Years later I bought this hi-tech one that had aromatherapy pods and crap like that.  It broke about the third time I used it.  It took my husband buying me the one I have now to get me back in the sound machine saddle, and now I'll never stop using it.  MM: What drew you to the SoundSpa in particular? SF: The best thing about this one is that it's 20 bucks, and fully functional! Check out way more with Shayna, more about the SoundSpa, and how to pick up a totally awesome album by a hip indie band, after the jump...  Read More... Posted Apr 04 2008, 02:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: gadgets, home, Interviews

• Never Touch The Toilet With Foot Flush

  Some of us hate to touch things are gross. Some of us hate to TALK about things that are gross. If you fit either of those requirements, and believe that “toilets” fit the definition of gross stuff, I sure hope you like stepping on feet. The FootFlush is a foot shaped pedal that attaches to the chain in the back of your toilet, allowing you to step on a pedal to flush, rather than pulling on a handle. Is it necessary? Find out after the jump...  Read More... Posted Mar 25 2008, 11:00 AM by Alex Zalben with | with 1 comment(s) Filed under: gadgets, bathroom, home

• Danger! Danger! It’s Cold Out!

  Lamest post heading ever. Anywho, Albert is a robot coat hanger from Our Children's Gorilla you can pick up at Brooklyn’s own Matter. It was a Lost in Space reference, by the way. Sigh. [$45, Matter] [Via CraziestGadgets] Posted Mar 18 2008, 01:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: home, Robots

• Automatic Soap-Washer For Your Home

  What are the major things people like about restaurants? As much bread and butter as you can eat is one, of course. And there are menus. I have no menus at home, and I love reading lists of food. The third is automatic soap-dispensers. Do you think Bobby Flay would have risen as far as he did without really excellent automatic soap-dispensers? I think not. Finally, you can bring the magic of the restaurant home with the Simplehuman Sensor Soap Pump. It operates on four AA batteries, and sits neatly on your sink (so you don’t have to go break out the screwdriver to attach it to your wall). It’s almost enough to make you forget Mario Batali’s delightfully playful Italian Automatic Soap Dispensers at Babbo. [$40, Simplehuman] Posted Mar 14 2008, 12:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: bathroom, home

• Gold Bar Doorstop is Super Steal-able

  Excuse my slip into stand-up-ese for a moment, but: “You put a gold bar down as a door-stop? You KNOW I’ll be stealing that doorstop. I mean, seriously, how long do you think you can prop open your door with a gold bar before I’m taking it? Even if the bar isn’t actually gold, but gold plated aluminum, steel, and iron. You think I’m going to spend time biting your door-stop to make sure it’s gold? You think I bring a smelter with me every time I visit you? Nope. You know I’ll be stealing that DOORstop.” For those of you who don’t know, doorstop comedy routines are super popular right now. [$80, MOMA Store] Posted Mar 13 2008, 01:30 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: home, Doorstops

• Retro Arcade: Space Invaders Doormat

  Now, I’m no expert on Space Invaders, but don’t they usually attack your home, rather than welcome other people to it? I guess I didn’t play the game enough, so maybe I’m wrong about that… Regardless, this welcome mat has a row of flickering aliens that light up as your friends (or mailman) approach your front stoop. The mat runs on four AAA batteries, and is guaranteed to inform everybody of how nerdy you are before they’ve even entered your action figure decked out apartment. [$40, Firebox] [Via Boing Boing]   Posted Mar 11 2008, 09:30 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: video games, Retro Arcade, home

• SmartShopper, The Electronic Grocery List

  Things I never remember: 1) My keys 2) My cell phone 3) My shopping list While I have no easy solutions for the first two, the third can, at least, be helped by the SmartShopper, an electronic grocery list organizer based on voice recognition. Yup, you just say what you want into the SmartShopper (it recognizes 2500 items), and it saves that item up until you’re ready to print out your shopping list. It even sorts everything by category, which is pretty awesome for saving time when you’re all the way in frozen foods, looking for apples. [$122, Amazon]  Posted Mar 10 2008, 10:30 AM by Alex Zalben with | with 2 comment(s) Filed under: gadgets, tech, home

• Adventures in Tacky: 3D Hanging Car Shelf

  Technically speaking, this is the front grille of a car that you can install on your wall as your shelf. In actuality, it’s a shelf, and then also, the front grille of a car. Take a close look at the picture. I can understand why you’d want a car sticking out of your wall: when you were five, you went to the Hard Rock Café, and have spent the rest of your life trying to duplicate their décor. Don’t worry; I’m the same way, but for Planet Hollywood. So far, I have William Shatner’s toupee on my bookshelf, and an “authentic” coffee cup from Friends. My fingers are crossed for that day when I can finally track down a life-sized Terminator… Here’s hoping! Anywho, so you go ahead and purchase one of these “shelves,” which comes in ’57 Bel Air, Ford Mustang, or 1959 Cadillac. And finally… FINALLY… Your Hard Rock dreams are complete. Now, all you need to do is cook up a limp, tasteless burger, blast some Rolling Stones, over-charge yourself for food, and you’re good to go! Check out the product page for some other choice items, including a lovely wall clock, and a coat rack. [$55, California Car Cover Co.] [Via Freshome] Posted Mar 03 2008, 12:00 PM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: cars, home, Adventures in Tacky

• Fingerprint Lock Brings The Future to Your Door

  Okay, so it’s no flying car, but at least part of the future is here with the Biometric Fingerprint Door Lock. All you need is a door, one battery, and a finger*, and you’re set. Check it out after the jump... Read More... Posted Feb 28 2008, 09:00 AM by Alex Zalben with | with no comments Filed under: gadgets, tech, home