The Modern Materialist : Baby Stuff

DIY: Goodnight Roomba

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 15:36:00 GMT

Got kids? Wouldn't everything be easier if you had a nanny to help out? Problem is that nannies are pretty expensive... But don't worry, now you can create your own nanny for under $200, and she'll even rock the baby to sleep while she cleans up your house.

First you'll need a handy Roomba:

[$150, Amazon]

Then a few cardboard boxes:

[Free, your local alley]

And finally, the too-funny-to-be-true instructional film:

So the baby falls off a few times... what can you really expect from a DIY nanny?

[via Slippery Brick]

Blackberry for Babies

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 13:47:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Blackberries are certainly getting kid-friendly these days. In fact, with laptops and mp3 players designed just for kids becoming status quo, it seems that even toddlers might be texting soon. Oh wait, they already are:

[via Crave]

Leapfrog's version of the Blackberry for babies comes out in April and will cost about $25. What's next, in-utero instant messaging?

Your Baby Is a Nerd

Alex Zalben — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 21:35:00 GMT

Earlier today, Laureen told you about one giant leap for nerdkind. This may be a leap back:

Tiffany Ard's Nerd Flashcards teach your baby to be a little mouth breather. Instead of "A for Apple," you get "A for Atom," "H for Hydrogen Bonding," and more. I'm not going to get into the number cards.

[Editor's Note: I actually think these are awesome. I'm just pretending to be a jock so you don't beat me up.]

[$16-$22, Uncommon Goods]

Shirt of the Day: It's a Boy, For God Sakes

Alex Zalben — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Tired of people poking and prodding your belly, asking what sex your baby is? Then you'll want to grab one of these:

[$26, Cafepress]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Baby Name Generator

Diana Vilibert — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 22:32:00 GMT

I love this web app--What a Lovely Name helps you generate a baby (or pet!) name based on disposition, background, or celebrity baby names (probably a bad idea). They seem to be a little short on names--they only had two Russian girl names, Yelena and Natasha--but I love the concept.

[What A Lovely Name]

Shirt(s) of the Day: I'm Pooped

Alex Zalben — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:31:00 GMT

New Dad? Then you know the feeling on the above shirt. New baby? Then you know the feeling on the below shirt:

[$13, Personalization Mall]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Lose That Baby Weight

Alex Zalben — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 13:34:00 GMT

Hey pregnant ladies! Want to pick up an hilarious product that will only work while your pregnant? Then why not grab one of these:

It's a scale that has pictures for each 20lb. increment, instead of numbers. Because what every pregnant lady wants is to be reminded of how fat she's getting.

[$95, Uncommon Goods]

Punk Rock Baby

Alex Zalben — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 16:02:00 GMT

In the category of arguments to have a baby, ridiculous outfits are either a positive or a negative. If you do like the idea of predetermining what will embarass your baby in their teen years ("Ohmigod, don't show the picture of me in that bee snuggly!"), then you could do worse than Etsy user Lowleepop's collection of Punk Rock Baby Wear.

Some of my favorites:

You can get all of them at the Etsy shop, and many more. Prices are in the $30-$35 range.

[Etsy]

Train Your Offspring Well

Steph Auteri — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:30:00 GMT

I'm not sure any of our readers are with child yet (I'm sure as heck not; I can barely take care of myself!), but I thought I'd pull together this handy little list of Things To Buy Your Child So That They Turn Out Perfect:

a medical kit (for those future doctors, surgeons, etc.)
an obscene amount of books (it's helpful to be well-read)
the CalcuBot™ (for those future financial analysts)
the We Girls Can Do Anything Astronaut Barbie, from 1994 (apparently, since the '90s ended, girls can only be princesses and ballerinas)
these high-fashion shoes for babies 0-6 months:

[$35, Heelarious]

Perhaps if my mother had started me out in these, I never would have grown up to be the girl who wears flip-flops to the office.

While the website's FAQ touches upon such hard-hitting topics such as how to pronounce the word "heelarious," I couldn't find anything at all about the destruction of childhood, the possibility that babies who wear high heels will become tweens who wear ruffled miniskirts, or the death of all our souls.

[Via Jezebel]

Announce Your Bebeh With a Movie Poster

Alex Zalben — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Now, I’m not having a baby. I’ll get that out of the way first… I know there’s been a lot of pics lately on TMZ of me with a baby bump, and it’s not true. I was feeling a little bloated that day, wore a loose fitting sweatshirt, and those damn paparazzi filled in the rest.

However, I did want to tell you guys about these kind of totally awesome baby announcements, which take the form of custom designed movie posters. Made my 5 Star Baby*, the posters feature your new-born babe, credits including the parents as producers, and a bunch of “critic’s” quotes of your choosing.

My only quibble with this is from a graphic design standpoint; they’re more like magazine ad movie posters, than movie theater movie posters… I’d love to see something cleaner, like this maybe:

Yes, I do realize your baby would need to be named Daniel Day Lewis to make this poster work. What’s your point?

[Pricing varies, 5 Star Baby]

*I ate at a five star baby restaurant once. WAY over-priced, and the dishes were tiny.

[Via Boing Boing]

Birds of a Feather

Wendy Atterberry — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Reasons I don't have kids yet even though I'm in my early 30's and my biological clock is tick-tick-ticking away:

Don't like other people's boogers (well, don't like my own either, for that matter...not that I ever have them)
Not ready to give up booze and caffeine for at least 9 months
Who needs kids when you have two cute cats?
Haven't yet grown tired of my mother asking when I'm going to make her a grandmother (after I get married, of course)
Hate the nauseating color and design of most children's toys, with the exception of a few things, including this beautiful Birds of a Feather mobile.
Need my Saturday mornings to sleep off my hangovers

[$65, Wishingfish]