The Modern Materialist : Booze

Flask + Cards = Drunken Fun Wherever You Go

Shaun Seneviratne — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:10:00 GMT

[photo via]

What's your vice? Booze? Cards? Taking your clothes off? All three?

This handy little holster can take care of two-thirds of that:

It's a Flask with Cards. Quite simply you have: a flask, a leather holder with a belt clip, and a deck of cards.

Though I'd feel a bit douchey with a flask holster on my belt, I'd love to be able to carry my two vices in one convenient package: whiskey and Apples to Apples (also known as the best board game ever).

[$24, Uncommon Goods]

[Via Product Dose]

Related: Card Deck Flask

Happy Hour: Party Like an Animal

Laureen Mahler — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 22:04:00 GMT

I think we can agree that party animals aren't always known for their elegance and good judgment. But, with these gorgeous shot glasses from A+R, you can bring some classy animal to your good times:

[$32, A+R]

Pre-shot, the carved animal heads serve as booze pedestals; post-shot, they look even better! A word of warning, though: beware the shot glass that makes you want to drink more for purely aesthetic purposes.

Happy Hour: Jim Beam's (ri)1

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 22:01:00 GMT

This is not your grand dad's rye; this is Jim Beam's "sexy" new rye whiskey called (ri)1 (basically, rye whiskey marketed to non-whiskey drinkers). Whiskey drinkers are a discerning bunch and the (ri)1 is sure to spark some controversy in the community.

Jim Beam's press release describes it as "light" and "slightly spicy". That sounds more like Drambuie than rye.

The folks at NOTCOT say "The flavor is incredible. . . The spiciness really hits you upside the head (I decided i’d try it neat first and not read the tasting notes until after, so I didn’t see it coming). . . It was refreshing and fascinating with a cube of ice, really opening up the flavors - you have to try it!"

However, Robert Heugel at Drink Dogma had less than favorable things to say. . .

"There’s nothing overly offensive about the rye; it just happens to not be as bold as some of the ryes I’ve tasted. It is fairly smooth for being 92 proof, but I’ve never valued smoothness as a characteristic in rye. Rye isn’t supposed to emphasize drinkability; it’s a bold spirit that should demonstrate spicier characteristics with an evolving, extensive finish. The Jim Beam (ri) is a spirit perfectly aligned with its marketing campaign focused on fads, not flavors. Admittedly, I haven’t tried the new rye in any cocktails yet, but, I’m predicting it will make a less than desirable Manhattan."

Being a whiskey fan myself, this doesn't seem like something I'd be into. At $50 a bottle, I'd much rather stick with what I know, but next time I'm at a bar I'll give it a shot (pun totally intended).

Please share your experiences if you've already tried this!

[$50, Jim Beam]

[Via NOTCOT]

Happy Hour: Be a Master Mixologist

Steph Auteri — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:06:00 GMT

Mixing drinks can be as complicated as a chemistry experiment if you don't have a flair for it. Which is why I have other people mix my drinks.

Want to show off your mixology skills?

Impress upon people how talented you really are with this cocktail chemistry set.

[$38.99, Perpetual Kid]

[Via I Love Bad Things]

Related: Happy Hour: Cube Jigger

Happy Hour: Sneaky Sipping

Steph Auteri — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 21:57:00 GMT

Some of you may consider the usage of flasks in the office to be a bit...unseemly. I think that's just ridiculous, but if you're looking for something more subtle, try this:

Everyone will totally think you're just dtinking milk! It's good for your bones!

[$18, Urban Outfitters]

Happy Hour: Opening That Beverage Takes A Lot of Muscle

Steph Auteri — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:06:00 GMT

Though I'm quite handy with a corkscrew, sometimes I have to use the hem of my shirt when opening a beer bottle, and that makes me feel lame. Next time I need to crack open a cool one, I'm going to take out this awe-inspiring bottle opener:

[$24.99, Home Wet Bar]

[Via Gizmodo]

Happy Hour: Soldiers of Swilling

Steph Auteri — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Heavy drinking is hard work, but someone's gotta do it. It helps if you have the right gear.

This tequila bandolier from Urban Outfitters has a large pocket for your standard-sized bottle of tequila, in addition to six plastic shot glasses, strapped in snug.

[$24, Urban Outfitters]

Related: Happy Hour: Tequila Gun

Happy Hour: Party On Wheels

Steph Auteri — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:00:00 GMT

[Via Born Rich]

Though bars-on-wheels such as this tiki bar appear to be intended for corporate rentals, I can't think of a better way to enjoy my pina coladas and funky monkeys and whatnot. After the jump, my favorite beverage from last summer's tropical vacation.

La Buena Vida:

This drink was named after its restaurant in Akumal, Mexico. I scribbled down the ingredients after enjoying the beverage just about every night. As I'm not the best at mixing, I offer my undying love to anyone who can figure out the best way to combine all of this:

Baileys

Kahlua

Rum

Coconut cream

Grand Marnier

Happy Hour: Biggest Rack Ever

Steph Auteri — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 21:00:00 GMT

If this rack is too small for you...

[$27,995, Bars, Cigars & Brew]

...you could always go for this one. The walk-in vault has a computerized inventory system, a cooling system, superfluous diamonds, and more.

Talk about things I can't fit into my condo...

[Via Born Rich]

Happy Hour: Drunk From One Pump

Steph Auteri — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Drunk or happy?

She could be both, and she could also be in love with you, especially if you just showed her your pump unit.

[$499-$579, Super Sidebar]

What were you thinking??? The pump unit is a component of the Super SideBar, a beverage system that allows you to dispense five different beverages from the same spout. According to the site, you can install it pretty much anywhere, and then pretend you're some slick bartender or something! Maybe Tom Cruise from Cocktail!

[Via eUpgrader]

Happy Hour: Wine & Cheese Party

Steph Auteri — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:00:00 GMT

I saw this lighting trick in action at Sacred Chow and couldn't stop staring. You can get your own grape party lights at Amazon...perfect for your next wine & cheese party!

You know what else would be perfect? (though not necessarily as classy as tiny glasses of cabernets and rieslings paired with artisanal cheeses...)

[$10.95, Creative Gifts To Go]

Winearitas!

We had a whole two punch bowl's worth at our brunch this past Sunday, and they were a massive hit (though I'll always remain partial to the mimosa punch).

We bought our mix at the Hopewell Valley Vineyards, but you can order yours from the link above.

Happy Hour: A Shot In the Dark

Steph Auteri — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 21:00:00 GMT

When you have been double-fisting plastic cups of white wine for hours on end, and strange men start offering to treat you to shots, for the love of god...

If the only shot you can think of is jagermeister (a word that seems to flow especially well off the tongue when you're already slurring your words), then just don't say it. I promise. It's a bad idea.

If you must have a shot, have a wussy one, like the jolly rancher shot.

And then maybe drink it in this shot glass:

[$29.89, Crazy About Gadgets]

Because they glow in the dark, and that's cool.

If you're still 17.

Related: Yin & Yang, Cheers!

Wine Snobs Mean Business

Steph Auteri — Thu, 29 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

I don't even care that I already have a normal corkscrew, that utilizes actual leverage, in my kitchen drawer. This novelty corkscrew doubles as one bad-ass weapon:

This brass knuckle corkscrew was designed by Jonathan Sabine for VEST Collective, and was shown at their Toronto-based Interior Design Show back in February.

Motherofgodwhy can I not figure out how to buy this!?

Um...anyone else think this looks dangerous?

Happy Hour: Show The Cool Kids You Know How To Party

Steph Auteri — Tue, 27 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

The other afternoon, whilst swigging mimosas and munching on bagel chips, I actually had a full-on conversation with my friend Nicole and my husband about whether we could classify ourselves as geeks, nerds, or dorks.

Because we're dorks (and Michael is a geek).

But we still know how to party! (Mimosas are cool!)

After the jump, my new favorite party game, plus a mimosa punch recipe:

[$36, Uncommon Goods]

Mimosa Punch:

1 (12-ounce) can thawed orange juice concentrate
1 liter club soda
1 to 2 bottles sparkling wine

Put 1 can cold but thawed orange juice concentrate into a punch bowl or in a large pitcher. Stir to soften. Stir in 4 cups cold club soda. Then add the sparkling wine and stir gently. Pour into Champagne flutes or coupes and serve.

[Via Food Network]

Happy Hour: Edible Scorpions and Other Creepy Crawlies

Steph Auteri — Mon, 26 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

[£16.00 GBP, edible]

There's a scene in the new Indiana Jones movie where scorpions emerge from some ancient skull and begin crawling all over Shia LeBeouf's character, one eventually biting him. He understandably freaks out, and asks Indy if he's going to die. Indy is characteristically blase.

But dude. Scorprions are one of the freakiest looking creatures ever, and I think I might die from a heart attack if I ever even saw one scuttling my way. Which is why this Scorpion Vodka frightens me. Even if it's supposed to improve my libido! (Seriously, read the products page.)

If you want to make a vodka treat I'll actually partake in (I suppose you could even just not tell me you used scorpion vodka, check out this new take on the jello shot over at divine caroline:

And, just for kicks, a poll on which of the following creatures freaks you out the most:

Happy Hour: Five Things Men and Absinthe Have In Common

Steph Auteri — Wed, 07 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Generally no more dangerous than vodka, though feelings of nausea may be common.
Will make you think you're hallucinating but, sadly, you're not.
Can be bitter, but easy enough to sweeten up.
Can be difficult to procure if you don't know where to look.
Has an often undeserved bad rep.

Is this why Marilyn Manson created...

[$65, Absinthe]

Okay, okay. So it's actually a play on his name. Still!

(It seems the site is only disallowed from shipping to Canada.)

[Via Uncrate]

A Hard Day's Work

Steph Auteri — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:30:00 GMT

5 Things To Do When Work Overwhelms:

Take a lap around the office, taking care of the things you can in person rather than remaining hunched over your keyboard, dead eyes burning a hole through your monitor.
Waste time at either the coffee machine, the vending machine, or the cooler. The vending machine provides the greatest amount of possibility for procrastination, as you can spend hours debating the merits of Twizzlers over Cheez-Its.
Take a walk outside, at least around the block. The fresh air will do you some good.
Practice some stretching exercises in your cubicle.
Get plenty of liquids:

[$32.99, Mod Cloth]

That's right. Eff waiting for happy hour.

Happy Hour: Bottle Top Ashtray

Steph Auteri — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:00:00 GMT

[$5.89, Prank Place]

I don't know about you, but I no longer throw the types of parties that involve beer bottles and cigarettes. Nay, my idea of a party involves taking out the nice stemware and the discount wine and picking up some gouda at Whole Foods so that I can pretend to be classy.

But perhaps other people could make use of this bottle-top ashtray, which snaps onto the top of most beer bottles, making it obvious which receptacle is safest for ashing your cig (and which receptacle you shouldn't take a surreptitious swig from when you're cleaning up post-party).

As this is a goofy sort of product, I think a Love It/Leave It poll is in order.

Happy Hour: Farewell to Cupcake Week

Steph Auteri — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Hopefully you're not sick of me yet. If you are, you'll only have to struggle through this one, last cupcake post, in which I feature a cocktail cupcake recipe! This Cuba Libre Cupcake recipe was found over at Coconut & Lime:

Ingredients:
1 cup flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup coca cola
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup milk
3 tablespoons dutch processed cocoa
2 tablespoons rum
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 egg

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350. Line or grease and flour 1 12 cupcake cupcake pan. In a small saucepan, heat butter, coca cola and rum to boiling. Remove from heat and allow to cool. Mix together lime juice and milk in a small bowl* or measuring cup and set aside. Meanwhile, whisk together cocoa, flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Add the cooled butter/coke mixture and beat until well combined. Add egg, beat then pour in the milk. Mix until combined. The batter will be rather thin. Fill each well 2/3 of the way full. Bake 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Remove cupcakes to wire racks as soon as possible to cool. Frost with Chocolate Rum Cream Cheese Frosting when cool. Garnish with a wedge of lime.

*This will sour the milk a bit. Do not worry if it looks slightly curdled.

And for those who are all like, "Damn, girl, I want a drink! Not a cupcake!" here is a cupcake-flavored cocktail recipe I found on Drinks Mixer:

1/2 cup Seagram's® vanilla vodka

1/2 cup Sprite® soda

Fill a glass half full with cubed ice. Pour in 1/2 cup of Seagram's vanilla vodka (or other vanilla vodka). Pour in 1/2 cup of Sprite from 1/2 a foot above glass (helps make it mix better). Stir for 10 seconds, and serve.

Happy Hour: Wine To Go. Lots of It

Steph Auteri — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 21:00:00 GMT

[$37.95, Wrapables]

I'm partial to wine.

You may have noticed.

Sometimes, people don't have wine to offer when I come over. And sometimes they do, but it's all just a huge tease, because they don't even have a corkscrew.

From now on, I'm carrying my own wine with me. Seriously. And not just one bottle, in a chic little wine bag. No. I'm carrying six bottles, in this portable wine bar available over at Wrapables. Not only does it function as your average wine rack, but it also has a handle so that you can carry it on the bus with you, bring it in to work, and set up a mini-bar in your cubicle. It also comes with a foil cutter, corkscrew, and sealer, so that you're never left unprepared on the road to drunksville.

Recipe for Fine Wine

Procure a bottle of the St. Supery Dollarhide Sauvignon Blanc.
Open it with your Wine Bar's foil cutter and corkscrew.
Pour it into this Debbie Gibson-inspired glass (or perhaps you're prefer another piece of fine stemware).
Don't chug.

Special Happy Hour Do-It-Yourself: Home Brewing

Steph Auteri — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:00:00 GMT

[$44.95, Gevalia]

In 385 AD, Saint Guinness, the patron saint of beer, traveled the world, dispensing home breweries to those in need (of a good buzz), and teaching the art of booze. The results of these home brewing experiments brought Saint Guinness much acclaim and, because his middle name was Patrick, they launched St. Patrick's Day, the Day of Beer.

Or at least that's how I remember it. Whippersnapper.

Which makes this home microbrewery kit an especially appropriate gift in the midst of today's festivities. As you're pacing yourself throughout the day, take some time out to spread the art of the home brew yourself. The Mr. Beer kit includes a brew keg with lid, a tap, Pale Ale beer mix and brewing yeast to brew two gallons, 8 plastic bottles with caps and labels, instructions, and more.

With a name like Mr. Beer, how can you possibly go wrong?

Happy Hour: Wine Snobbery On Day of Beer and Whiskey

Steph Auteri — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 13:00:00 GMT

[$58, Red Envelope]

I dread public transportation on St. Patrick's Day, as I invariably encounter the belligerent, drunk dude on the bus, the belligerent, drunk masses at Port Authority, and the belligerent, drunk slow-walkers-wearing-silly-hats on the streets of Lower Manhattan as I make my way from home to work. I may be belligerent as well in my own quiet, frowny, antisocial way, but I didn't drink obnoxiously green beer to get that way.

Even if I could get away with being boozed-up at work, I would choose wildly different means to get that way.

Which is why I like to carry around my wine dossier* on St. Patrick's Day: To remind others that I am a far classier drunk than they are. So please get the eff out my face with the beer-breath.

You could purchase your own dossier (I just enjoy saying that word out loud) at Red Envelope. Made with genuine leather and with a storage capacity of up to 31 wine labels, you can now display the fruits of your chuggage by recording the vintage, origin, price, source, occasion, and meal accompanying each finished bottle of wine, along with detailed tasting remarks.

"Yellow Tail Shiraz, Australia, $8, corner liquor shop, drinking my sorrows away, Hungry Man" does not count.

*Okay, I don't actually own a wine dossier but, if I did, you can bet that I'd be lording it over all my lower-class acquaintances.

Happy Hour: Peer Pressure

Steph Auteri — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 21:00:00 GMT

[$7.95, CB2]

Just in case you needed some added incentive, these drink coasters are brashly single-minded in their purpose.

Of course, these could be bad to have on hand if you somehow find yourself drinking alone.

At least three times a week.

As early as 1 p.m.

Nononono...of course you don't have a problem.

Happy Hour: Cheers!

Steph Auteri — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 21:00:00 GMT

[$19.95, CB2]

These six glasses have "cheers!" and well wishes emblazoned upon their sides in six different languages, and you can get the entire set for just under $20 from Crate and Barrel's discount line.

I also like the fact that they're wine glasses that just happen to look like giant shot glasses.

Because then I won't feel as low-class when I gulp my sauvignon blanc.

Happy Hour: Party Like It's That Time You Pledged That Sorority

Steph Auteri — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:00:00 GMT

[$24, Urban Outfitters]

This could possibly be construed as Not Classy, but just in case you're having the old crew over one night for a chug down memory lane...

This ice luge allows you to send your liquor down a slippery slope to your shot glasses so that you can re-live your glory days without actually standing on your head or something.

Though of course we're all past this.

Happy Hour: Be Prepared

Steph Auteri — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 22:00:00 GMT

[$54, Alessi]

It's never good to be offered wine and then realize that there is no corkscrew to be found and then go looking through your hosts' kitchen drawers until you find a knife so that you can try getting the cork out that way. Because then people think you're an alcoholic.

People might also think you're an alcoholic if you carry your own corkscrew around, but if the corkscrew is this cute, those same people might also be charmed.

Alessi likes to have fun with their corkscrews in general, and they have selections in the shapes of Anna G., Alessandro Mendini and, as seen above, parrots.

No More Leaky Wine Buckets

Alex Zalben — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Quick personal story for you: The way I proposed to my then girlfriend was, I snuck into her hotel room while she was out of town for a conference, and set up an array of flowers, champagne, chocolate strawberries, etc. (and a ring). And then I sat there in her hotel room for five hours, because I didn’t know when she was coming back, and I certainly didn’t want to leave a very weird display of totally gross love out on her dresser with absolutely no context.

The biggest problem I had during those five hours, beyond not throwing up from fear, was keeping the champagne cool in a rapidly melting bucket of ice. I jacked up the AC, replenished the ice frequently from a cooler I had filled, and contemplated, then rejected the idea of leaving the room to walk the five feet to get more ice.

Point is, I could have used the 4 Bottle Copper Wine Cooler:

Chilling convenience comes without the hassle of melting ice. The 4-Bottle Copper Wine Cooler features an efficient design for keeping wine chilled all night long. Set the cooler and bottles in a refrigerator a few hours before an event. Conveniently serve at any function and enjoy. No ice means no chance of spills or leakage. Wipe away condensation and return to a convenient storage space. Wine presentation really is that easy.

Though that would have presented problems of its own, I can only hope some lucky, soon to be engaged guy can learn from my example.

Or, you know, you could get this for a cocktail party or something.

[$400, WineRacks.com]

[Via Born Rich]

Spin That Wine, DJ

Alex Zalben — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:30:00 GMT

Here’s a killer app. for your wine bottles: the SpinWine Pourer, which claims to filter and oxidize your wine using a bunch of pseudo-scientific terms in its product description.

As an amateur wine taster myself, I’m going to go out on a limb and say this is BAD product if you’re a wine connoisseur. I don’t really know anyone who would put their wine through a Brita Filter (maybe a PUR Flavor Filter, to get the sweet berry flavors inside… But I digress), so why in the world would you use this product?

One simple reason: It’s frickin’ awesome looking. I certainly wouldn’t recommend using this for a 1787 Chateau Lafite, but if you have to serve up a bottle of Boones, why not impress your lady (or guy) friend by attaching a sleek looking flying saucer that turns your Snow Creek Berry into a theme park attraction?

The SpinWine Pourer is currently unavailable through most websites, but you can call SpinWine directly and find a non-web dealer near you.

You can also, if you're adventurous, find a few of them available on the UK eBay, while they still last. [$68, eBay]

[Via]

Retro Arcade: Pac-Man Coasters!

Alex Zalben — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:00:00 GMT

For those of you who refer to vitamins as “power pellets,” and whisper “bonus points” every time you eat a pretzel, it’s time to grow up already… With these six Pac-Man coasters from Etsy user Lost Mitten.

The bead created set features everybody’s favorite living pie chart, as well as his arch enemies, Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde. For good measure, there’s also a dead ghost*, and the whole thing comes in an attractive case featuring sweet, delicious cherries.

Unfortunately, there was only ONE of these made, so it’s already sold out. But head on over to Lost Mitten’s Etsy page and demand more coasters!

*Was that ever confusing to anyone else?

[Via]

Pretty Up Your Boozing Habits

Steph Auteri — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 21:30:00 GMT

[$15, Velocity]

Geez louise, those woodwork bottle stoppers I bought down in New Hope last summer sort of pale in comparison to these flowery beauties by artist Tahmineh Javanbakht. They're pretty well-priced, as well, for something you can use to impress your friends when you have them over for that sophisticated wine-and-cheese party in your studio apartment. Just remember to hide all the clutter. And use wine glasses, for the love of god. You can pick them up for cheap enough at Target, even, rather than resorting to those novelty glasses you swiped from the pub back when you were backpacking around Europe. Have some class, man!