The Modern Materialist : Cooking

Tools of Seduction: Kiss the Cook

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 12 May 2009 19:28:00 GMT

Take it from a girl who burns toast: a man who can cook is a precious (and sexy) commodity. But whether you're a gourmet guru or nutritional novice, there exists a simple key to culinary prowess:

Culinary Seductions is a "guy's guide to cooking for girls," which basically means that it provides step-by-step instructions for how to (literally) impress the pants off your date. Whether you're looking for a complete menu with recipes, a wine pairing, a unique cocktail, or a dinner soundtrack that'll seal the deal, Culinary Seductions has pretty much everything you'll need. Here are a few tasty sample menus (click the titles for links to specific recipes):

The Delicious, Decadent Picnic

Difficulty: Easy
Budget: Not so Cheap
Rating: XXXX
Starter: Cheese Plate and Cold Cuts
Main Course: Maple Bacon Wrapped Shrimp
Sweet: Cold Chocolate Truffles
Drink: Pinot Grigio

Vegetarian Vixen

Difficulty: Easy
Budget: Cheap
Rating: XXXX
Starter: Arugula salad with herbs, nuts, and Dijon dressing
Main Course: Portobello mushroom steaks
Sweet: Chocolate covered strawberries
Drink: Muscat

Italian Amore

Difficulty: Easy
Budget: Cheap
Rating: XXXX
Starter: Caprese salad
Main Course: Farfalle with Roasted Veggies
Sweet: Cannoli
Drink: Prosecco

Need more help? Check out the video cooking tutorials (they're a little cheesy, but effective nonetheless), table setting tips, and even a foodie app for your iPhone.

How this will get you laid: Mix a pinch of charm with a hefty helping of culinary know-how, bake until well done, top off with candelight, and season to taste. Dee-licious.

[Culinary Seductions]

The Lap Counter

Alex Zalben — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:04:00 GMT

I don't know about you guys, but besides getting potato peels everywhere, my least favorite part of, er, peeling potatoes is the backache from bending over the garbage can. Enter Tomas Kral's Lap Counter, which changes everything:

The concept is that each Lap Counter would be personally molded for your comfort, and work as both a work surface, and a container. Pretty rad, if you ask this guy's aching back.

[Via Freshome]

Hot Stuff Coming Through

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:28:00 GMT

Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody! In honor of a day devoted entirely to eating food, drinking booze (oh yeah, and celebrating the Mexican victory at the Battle of Puebla -- booyah Wikipedia!), I'm going to share a couple of things that are very close to my heart. 1) My absolute favorite barbecue accessory, and 2) my secret recipe for Jalapeno Poppers that will literally blow your socks off. Truly, they'll fly off in little cotton-y pieces.

[$20, Williams-Sonoma]

First things first: the jalapeno roaster. This handy little device has 18 perfectly shaped pepper holes (or jalapeno hatches, as we like to call them around my kitchen), and is perfect for barbecuing. Bonus: it also slips right into the oven if the weather outside is fickle. If you've never had a handmade fire-roasted jalapeno, a world of tastiness awaits you.

Speaking of tastiness, I've made Jalapeno Poppers with this secret recipe every year since I had my own oven to cook in, and they are indeed the best ever. Delicious, perfectly spicy, and easy enough for 19-year-old me to whip up in a jiff:

The Best Roasted Jalapeno Poppers You'll Ever Have, Ever

Ingredients:

18 jalapenos
1/4 cup roasted red peppers
1 small clove garlic
1 teaspoon olive oil
8 ounces cream cheese
1/2 cup grated cheddar
1 tablespoon minced onion
1 tablespoon minced cilantro
1/2 teaspoon salt

Instructions:

Slice off the tops of the jalapenos just below the stem. Use a small knife to cut out the core and seeds. Heat a skillet with a little oil and saute the peppers for a minute (this makes them soft and easier to stuff). While the jalapenos are cooling, make the filling: stir together cream cheese, cheddar, and olive oil. Mince roasted red peppers, onion, and garlic and stir into cheese mixture. Top off with cilantro and salt to taste. Carefully stuff the peppers and place them in the roaster and put directly on your barbecue grill for about 8-10 minutes. Alternately, if you don't (yet) have a fancy roaster, you can put the peppers on a cookie sheet and roast in the oven at 375 for about 15 minutes.

But, you know, it is a secret, so don't go posting it on the Internet or anything.

Clean Kitchen: Keru Keru Bottles

Steph Auteri — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:29:00 GMT

You know how Jackson Pollock and all those other abstract expressionist painters seem merely to randomly fling paint against a blank canvas and call it art?

Well, that's sort of how I cook. After I've put together an entire meal, the entire kitchen manages to be affected, every surface splattered with olive oil, small piles of salt, tomato pulp, and the empty shells of garlic bulbs.

If this is...um...not what you aspire to...

[$20, Charles & Marie]

These Keru Keru bottles are glass and silicone, designed to make pouring easier, and less messy (with the assumption that most messes occur with the constant opening and closing of numerous bottles). Just transfer your liquids into these bottles and, um, never unscrew another cap...?

[Via Holy Cool]

Grill On The Go

Shaun Seneviratne — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:36:00 GMT

As much as I can't stand crisping and sweating in the summer sun, I don't mind when the same happens to meat and vegetables. Grilling is one of best summer activities and the O Grill lets you do it anywhere.

At only 24 lbs, the O Grill has a large grilling surface suitable for most of your arge grilling surface and folds for convenient carrying. It's also available in six colors: orange, green, blue, red, grey, and black.

[$175, Amazon]

[Via DVICE]

How to Cook the Perfect Easter Egg

Laureen Mahler — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:04:00 GMT

It's nearly Easter, and if you're anything like me, then your Sunday will play out something like this:

12:02pm: Wake up. Consider changing out of pajamas. Decide against it.
12:17pm: Post-coffee, time to boil eggs for decorating. Begin egg boiling.
12:45pm: What time did the eggs go in? Pretty sure they're done by now.
12:51pm: Cold water bath for eggs, find decorating stuff, get to it!
2:33pm: Done decorating. Admire egg art. Deviled egg time, oh yeah.

Little did I know that Science has a much better recipe for ideal egg boiling (as in one that won't make your eggs taste like rubber). There's even a bonafide scientific formula for creating the absolutely perfect egg:

Easy, right? Everybody likes eggs and pi, after all. But if you're not a rocket scientist, don't worry; the University of Exeter's dedicated egg boiling page breaks it down for us normal citizens, too. Here's what they have to say:

"Many cook books suggest the following for boiling eggs: 3-6 min for a soft yolk, 6-8 min for a medium soft yolk and 8-10 min for a hard yolk. If you are satisfied with this, there is no need for you to continue reading. However, if you are in search of the ultimate boiled egg, you've come to the right place."

The "right place" involves this graph:

How this will get you the perfect egg: Basically, if your egg is straight out of the fridge, about 14cm at its roundest point, and you want a medium boil, simply follow the red line in the graph above, and voila, cook it for five minutes and 30 seconds. Perfection!

Or not. The Exeter people actually say that you should measure the precise temperature of your boiling water before the egg goes in. If you happen to know your exact altitude and local barometric pressure, you can do that with their handy calculator. Or you could settle on the graph with fancy rainbow colors and call it a day.

[via Lifehacker]

These Cookies Died For Your Sins

Alex Zalben — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 15:27:00 GMT

To be fair, most cookies die for your sins, which are eating too many cookies. But perhaps these, given their shape, may give a little underscoring to that point.

So here's my question for you guys, because I honestly don't know:

Is this insulting? Meaning, the idea of having Jesus cookies at, say, your Easter dinner... Would that be delightful, or make everyone awkward and uncomfortable?

[15euros, Donkey Products]

[Via I Love Bad Things]

Jetspoon!

Alex Zalben — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:05:00 GMT

What? Why is this caled the Jetspoon? Is it a spoon that travels? Is it jet black? Nope, neither of those things:

I actually can't quite tell why it's called Jetspoon. Because what it does is, slowly pour out the appropriate amount of liquid, from the spoon, as you mix. Not too shabby, and you could probably use for folding eggs into hot recipes (gross, I know, but it would be helpful).

[Via CribCandy]

Best. Sushi. Ever.

Alex Zalben — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:28:00 GMT

You guys were pretty into the Obama sushi we posted about a month ago. But as ridiculous as that is, the above is easily the best sushi ever. Want to know why?

It's actually Rice Crispie Treats, with Swedish Fish or Licorice, rolled in Fruit Roll Ups.

I think I'm going to make myself a plate of healthy sushi right now.

[Via Boing Boing]

A Little Slice of Paradise

Laureen Mahler — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:01:00 GMT

[Photo via]

Do you know what my version of paradise is? It involves me wearing an apron, cooking up a storm in a god-light-filled kitchen that has two marble islands, an endless drawer of stylish utsensils, an industrial gas range, and a total self-clean function. And do you know what else happens in this gastronomic paradise? I don't hurt myself. Ever.

Now with this set of snazzy tools from none other than Slice, I can get a little closer to paradise:

[$7, Slice]

[$15, Slice]

The slicers have ceramic blades so they're sharp and safe, and that cheese grater on the bottom promises no more fingernail seasoning. Paradise indeed.

[via Notcot]

NASA Gets a Second Job

Alex Zalben — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:29:00 GMT

In case that whole "going into space" thing doesn't work out, I think NASA will have a lucrative second career making novelty aprons:

Believe me, I'm as surprised as you are that this is actual NASA merch.

[$20, Kennedy Space Center]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Marsha Mello [NSFM]

Alex Zalben — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:32:00 GMT

From the creators of the above little gem, comes Marsha Mello:

NSFM=Not Safe For Marshmallows, by the way. Also? Unclear to me how to use this.

[$18, Roast My Weenie]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Food Gawking

Shaun Seneviratne — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 17:38:00 GMT

Last month I blogged about Cookstr.com, a website that compiles recipes from cookbooks. Well, foodgawker aggregates the best recipes the blogosphere has to offer.

There is no way to refine your search though. You are simply presented with a random assortment of dishes from all over the Internet. This is a good way to come across a recipe you might not have even considered previously.

[foodgawker]

[Via Rare Bird Finds]

Related: Cookbook Compilation

The Testicles Cookbook - Cooking with Balls

Diana Vilibert — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:27:00 GMT

Sorry, I hope you already ate lunch. When Shaun posted about the semen cookbook last week, I thought it couldn't get any worse. But it can and it has, as evidenced by "The Testicles Cookbook - Cooking with Balls." Recipes include testicled versions of your favorites, like Testicle Pizza, Testicle Goulash and White Wine Testicles.

[Yudu]

Cookbook Compilation

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 17:03:00 GMT

[photo via]

Are you tired of the same old yams and turkey for Thanksgiving, but don't want to go as far as to make a turbaconducken? Or perhaps the supermarket is out of turkey? While there is still time to rethink the dish you are preparing for Thursday, it may be worthwhile to check out Cookstr.

This website was created by former cookbook publishers Will Schwalbe and Katie Workman. What seperates this site from all the other recipe sites online? All the recipes are from actual cookbooks. You can search by easiness, mood, ingredient, holiday, cost, time, and more!

I may give the Pumpkin Soup with Gruyere Cheese a shot.

[Cookstr.com]

[Via Cool Hunting]

A Calculator That Makes Cooking Easy

Steph Auteri — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:28:00 GMT

I'm as bad at math as I am at cooking (worse, even), so is it any surprise that — even with my Amco conversion magnets — I struggle with my cooking measurements?

The Measure Master Pro calendar has options for adding and subtracting measurements, such as feet and inches, or the volume measurements that so often occur in cooking.

Which is really effing cool to a math-challenged, sub-par cook such as myself.

[$28, Amazon]

[Via Geek Alerts]

A Nest For Your Nest

Alex Zalben — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:31:00 GMT

Currently, my bowls and measuring cups are all over the place. More counter space is taken up with stray 1/4 cup measures than anything else, which is why these nesting items are so nest-cessary:

Nest 8 includes:

- Large mixing bowl 4.5L
Colander 3L
Sieve 1.65L
Small mixing bowl with measurements 0.5L
4 Measuring cups
1 Cup/250ml
½ Cup / 125ml
1/3 Cup / 85ml
¼ Cup / 60ml

Nest 5 includes:

Large mixing bowl 4.5L
Colander 3L
Sieve 1.65L
Small mixing bowl with measurements 0.5L
Juicer 100ml

Both are the same price, and awesome.

[$57, Generate]

There's No Use Crying Over Spilled Soup

Alex Zalben — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:05:00 GMT

I've rewritten this post several times, in several different ways, but they all come down to one thing: this utensil is long overdue, and necessary:

The Stainless Steel Straining Ladle lets you spoon items from a pot, and then strain 'em. Brilliant. That's all.

[$15, Cooking.com]

[Via The Green Head]

A Tall Glass of Bacon

Diana Vilibert — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:02:00 GMT

What better way to feel refreshed and satisfied than with a big, tall pitcher of...bacon?

I'm not sure exactly why this contraption looks like a pitcher, but this microwave bacon cooker promises to deliver all of the yum of bacon with none of the grease. Plus, after it's done cooking, you're left with a nice glass of pig grease. Yay?

[$34.95, Wow Bacon]

Related: Perfect Bacon

Easy Come, Easy Sushi

Alex Zalben — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 14:33:00 GMT

Have you ever tried making sushi (or rather, maki)? It's simultaneously the easiest and hardest thing ever. All you have to do is roll rice, and a filling in some seaweed; but getting it to stick just right is where the art comes in.

Art, meet science:

[$20, Taylor Gifts]

[Via Book of Joe]

Related: Sushi To Go, Trend Watch: Sushi

Cube Time

Alex Zalben — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 17:28:00 GMT

So as you can see from the above, all you have to do to set the timer is flip it on its side, and it beeps when its done. But that's not my favorite part:

My favorite part is the sad, sad name for the website that sells it: "Whatever Works." Which just sounds like it should be said with a shrug of the shoulders, and a sad, resigned nod of the head.

[$18, Whatever Works]

[Via Book of Joe]

Related: Twisted Two-Timer, Double Timer

No Mess Veggie Peeler

Alex Zalben — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:20:00 GMT

One of the most annoying things about peeling veggies is the gigantic mess it causes. Which is why this is so cool:

[$20, Get Organized]

[Via Book of Joe]

Concepts We Wish Would Succeed: Sook Cutting Board

Alex Zalben — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 17:02:00 GMT

Now, that's more like it, Mr. Wayne. I've complained before about electronic, internet cutting board concepts that ignore one basic fact: you can't see a recipe, if you have a pile of veg all over the board.

The Sook solves that problem by splitting the idea into three parts:

Cutting board with scale and sensor; The Sook Touch, with recipes and more; and the Sook Dock, for recharging, and updating info. Now, let's make this happen!

[Via Yanko Design]

Good Idea, Bad Idea: Deep Frying Your Hand

Alex Zalben — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:02:00 GMT

Above? A bad idea. Below? A good idea:

I've seen products like this before, but none quite so much like a crocodile's nose.

[$18, Fusion Brands]

[Via Gearfuse]

Egg-cellent!

Diana Vilibert — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 14:52:00 GMT

Am I the only one who gets a disproportionate amount of satisfaction from cooking up the perfect sunny-side-up egg? There's something about a flawlessly round egg white that makes me want to give someone a high-five. Those perfect eggs don't come around too often in my kitchen, but with the help of this product, they'll be a guarantee:

The adorable PoachPod floats in boiling water, cooking your egg to spherical excellence. There's a sample coming my way, so look forward to a product road-test soon!

[$10, FusionBrands]

Cheap Trick: Kabob Basket

Steph Auteri — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 15:00:00 GMT

My cousin Tony was in town this past weekend, and over the course of the past few days, he played chef for my family. On Friday, he made shish kabobs and, aside from the dried-out plantains, I found them delicious.

He used wooden skewers and then balanced them on the edges of several baking pans before sliding them into the oven.

Chefs.com apparently has an easier way, but...doesn't this defeat the purpose?

[$9.99, Chefs]

Yup. Skewerless kabobs. Does this seem...wrong to anyone else?

[Via GearCrave]

Never Get Cut Again

Alex Zalben — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 19:00:00 GMT

What do you do if you keep cutting your hands while cooking? Is it:

A) Stop cooking.

B) Buy stock in Band-Aids.

C) Start serving blood sausage more often.

Or maybe...

D) Kevlar gloves!

[$20, Skymall]

[Via OhGizmo!]

Chop 2 Pot

Alex Zalben — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:30:00 GMT

One of the most annoying things in cooking is getting everything nice and chopped on your chopping block, then going over to the stove, and proceeding to drop everything you've worked so hard on right onto the floor.

Don't worry, friends, a solution is at hand:

Once you're done chopping, the entire board folds into an easy to control chute. Genius, no?

[$29, Generate]

Get Dad Something See-Through

Brian Marabello — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 17:15:00 GMT

Something sheer maybe.

Maybe with peek-a-boo in its description.

Sans crotch even. Or something even sexier like…

No, not for him to wear. (Then again, who am I to tell you how aberrant to make your aberrant sex.)

It’s for grilling, silly. These mesh pans infuse smoky flavor into the more delicate things you can’t easily barbeque – veggies, shrimp, scallops and so on. So, now dad can cook the whole meal on the grill. And the woman of the house can sit on the couch with a cold one and scratch her, um, er, lady balls.

[$29.95 & $49.95, williams-sonoma]

Inventory I Lust After: Destination Japan

Alex Zalben — Mon, 05 May 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Do you ever get the feeling that other countries have more fun than we do? At the very least, Japan knows how to make their containers both sleek and cute at the same time, which, let me tell you, is difficult to do. I once went to a costume party in a brushed metal kitty kat outfit. Not pretty.

I was browsing through the MOMa store, and found a couple of neat items from their exclusive collection, Destination Japan. I should also mention at this point that I’m a big fan of plain white, unadorned stuff, so if you like flowers or pretty things, look away before your eyes get burned.

First, they have an apple container, with a wooden spoon standing in for the stem. Cute, right? Sadly, it doesn’t actually hold apples, necessarily; though, if you take the spoon out, it would be a perfect traveling case for candy apples. Just saying. [$55]

Then, there’s this pig snout lid (pictured above), which you throw on top of a pot. The steam vents through the pig’s nose, making it look vaguely like a fire-breathing pig has melted into your stove-top. Spooky. [$18]

And finally, there’s a duckbill soy sauce dispenser. Which is cute, by why isn’t it a duck sauce dispenser? I guess there’s nothing stopping you from doing that yourself, right? [$35]