The Modern Materialist : Healthcare

Must Buy: Boobs & Dinks

Alex Zalben — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Sure these handmade, crocheted boobs and, er, dinks, are giggle worthy. But that's not what makes them a must buy:

Each specially made boob (created by designer Shannon Gerard), or dink, has a lump sewn inside to help train men and women to recognize the early signs of cancer. The idea being to get practice, and get over the fears you may have checking yourself.

They also come with a booklet to help coach you through your own monthly self examination. And, if that wasn't enough, with every purchase, $5 is donated to Cottage Dreams, a cancer recovery initiative.

These may be the most important boobs and dinks you ever feel up.

Boobs: [$25, Etsy]

Dinks: [$25, Etsy]

Eat Candy, Have Better Skin

Alex Zalben — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 15:02:00 GMT

Seems like some sort of fake magic, right? Telling people they can eat as many gummi bears as they want, and their skin will look fabulous? The thing is, you have to eat these gummi bears:

BORBA Nutraceuticals has released Skin Balance Confections Gummi Bears, which contain nutrients that supposedly go straight to your skin, and not your thighs. I guess I'll have to eat bags and bags of them, just to try this out, right?

[$25, Beauty.com]

[Via OutBlush]

Bacon Bandages

Shaun Seneviratne — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:01:00 GMT

In keeping with the Modern Materialists obsession with bacon, here are some bacon bandages!

I now have an excuse to dust my skateboard off and bust my ass.

[$9, FredFlare]

Related: Bacon Can Be Used For Anything

Posture Makes Perfect

Steph Auteri — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 18:01:00 GMT

If my mother is to be believed, this is how I've looked over the course of my life (whoa, can I blame my belly pooch on this? Maybe it's only a bad posture-induced optical illusion!). She was always especially quick to point it out if I had to appear on stage, for a choral concert, or a school musical, or that time I emceed the honor society awards because I'm a huge dork. "Now, remember to stand up straight," she would tell me, to which I would roll my eyes, because that is my response to everything, even now.

Perhaps the iPosture would have solved everything!

"The iPosture is an intelligent electronic device designed by physicians and engineers specifically to improve posture. Small, discreet, and designed to be worn close to the skin, it sends small vibrations to alert the user when one's posture is not ideal."

I don't know about you guys, but I'm horrified by the very concept of this torture device. If you really want one, though, they'll be available soon.

[$99.95, iPosture]

[Via Crave]

Conjoined Twins Have Sex, a.k.a. Photoshop Gone Wrong

Alex Zalben — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 20:02:00 GMT

Is that what sex is like? Ohmigod, I think I've been doing it horribly, terribly wrong. Or, alternately, this is example of an ad agency making an absolutely horrific looking photoshop mistake. Here's another pic, so you can judge for youself:

And, in case you want to try out these flesh-joining condoms for yourself, pricing below.

[Pack of 150: £42, Eros Shop]

[Via Copyranter]

Talk About Hot!

Alex Zalben — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Okay, so... I don't want to be a grouch or anything, and I'm not doctor, but aren't you supposed to test your internal temperature with a thermometer? Not your external temperature?

Yet, here's how you use the above unit:

And, on top of all that, it talks. Is there a doctor in the house? Want to explain to me why this is okay, when I've been sticking thermometers up my butt for years? [Ed Note: I should mention this is unrelated to actually taking any sort of temperature, it's just cause I'm like a squirrel, except instead of nuts in my cheeks... You fill in the rest.]

[€40, Pro-Idee]

[Via Red Ferret]

Get Rid of Sweat Stains... Permanently

Alex Zalben — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Some of you might be grossed out by this post, so my apologies, but here it goes: Up until very recently, I was a hugely sweaty guy. No particular reason, I just get very warm, especially in the summer. However, my biggest problem was that I sweat a lot in my pits area, which made it pretty embarrassing to, you know, go outside.

I tried a number of antiperspirants over the past, oh, say, fifteen years, but nothing worked. Until the other day, when I found the key to stopping my sweat stains, permanently.

I ran out of my regular deodorant, and happened to have a spare Tom’s of Maine natural deodorant lying around, so I used that. That day, no sweat stains. Nothing. I thought it was a fluke, but just in case, kept using the ToM. Again, the next day, no sweat, nothing.

This is now two weeks out, and every day I check to see if I have even the tiniest sweat stain in my pit area, and I got nothing. After fifteen years of feeling uncomfortable about this, I don’t have to think about it anymore, and as far as I can tell, it’s all because I was using a non-natural deodorant.

I share this info not to get you into my personal life, or gross you guys out, but just in case another guy (or girl) out there has a similar problem, and never thought of trying this solution. Seriously, it’s kind of life changing.

You can pick up Tom’s of Maine in a variety of scents at most drug stores.

[Tom's of Maine]

Bacon Can Be Used For Anything

Alex Zalben — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:00:00 GMT

We're a little obsessed with bacon here at MM. It can be used for a bra, like above. Or as salt. Or for fightin'. Or in chocolate. Or, for this:

[$5, Archie McPhee]

Koreannovation ’08: Self Acupuncture

Alex Zalben — Thu, 15 May 2008 20:30:00 GMT

This is one of the stranger items at the Koreannovation fair: a home, self-acupuncture kit. As you can see, Rachel, one of the many people who ended up showing me around the fair, is administering the Genesen Acutouch to the small of her back, to help relieve a little bit of the back pain that afflicted her from walking around a Con floor all day.

To take a little step back: The Accutouch is made up of two different small needles, and are filled with magnets (I think). You can take the needles, and press them into certain parts of the body to relieve stress, or help the treatment of pain, or any other thing acupuncture can do. There’s also, as you can see below, several different attachments, so you can more easily reach certain parts of your back:

Now, I don’t want to cast any aspersion here, but… There was a lady in the booth wearing an ill-fitting doctor’s coat, and glasses that looked kind of wrong on her face. She kept saying vague things about “working at the clinic,” and didn’t seem to know exactly how to use the Acutouch, or where exactly you placed it. So real doctor, or Con Booth actor? You decide. But only based on the sketchy info I just gave you.

I will say that Rachel felt a little bit of relief from her back pain… Though that may have been from, you know, sitting down for five minutes.

[Genesen]

Neti Pot Cleanses Your Nostrils

Alex Zalben — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:30:00 GMT

According to their website, the Neti Pot, “naturally cleanses, refreshes, and protects the nasal passages, one of our body's first lines of defense against illness.” But I’m really only posting this so you can check out the demonstration video below:

Anybody ever used this? Is it actually as horrifying as it looks? Oh, and “thanks” to Geoff for the suggestion.

[$36, Himalayan Institute]

Help!

Wendy Atterberry — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 15:31:00 GMT

You guys, we need to talk. I see you on the subway, on the street, in the park and I have to say, I'm a bit confused.

You're still using those crappy band-aids that don't stay on for anything and you're popping Advil and Tylenol like their Lemonheads. Hey, there's a new remedy in town and it's not only packaged in sleeker, eco-friendly material (recycled paper pulp!), it's filled with only the stuff you need to get better (no artifical coloring and all that biz-nass...if you want that stuff, you'll have to eat them separately). The bandages are made with the same kind of materials hospitals use to reduce scarring and help wounds heal faster, and the headache pills contain acetaminophen, which won't cause stomach problems. Oh, and 5% of profits are donated to charities that help people without healthcare get healthcare. So, what are you waiting for?

[$6, Help Remedies]

thanks, Adam!