The Modern Materialist : Shirts

Tools of Seduction: Working the South Asian Circuit

Shaun Seneviratne — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:06:00 GMT

[photo via Freida's photoshoot for Complex]

Okay, it's been an upward battle for awhile, but I think it's finally safe to say that South Asians are officially the new "It" minority. We've got Freida Pinto, Padma Lakshmi, Dev Patel, Aziz Ansari, ~~Bobby Jindal~~ (whoops), Kal Penn, Anoop Desai from "American Idol", Dave from "Flight of the Conchords", M.I.A., Natasha Khan (Bat for Lashes), and more.

I'm sure that everyone's desire to have a South Asian boyfriend or girlfriend is at a fever pitch right now. Well, if Slumdog Millionaire and "Jai Ho" are your only conversation starters when you meet these brown beauties, you may want to pick up some of these shirts from Chor Bazaar, an indie-Indian t-shirt label out of Brooklyn:

Aviators, mustache, and wavy hair. The epitome of Indian cool.

Just like in Bollywood films, where there are desis, there is drama (any South Asian will back this claim).

If you aren't familiar with Thums Up, run to your closest Indian grocery store and pick one up. It is much better than your average Coca-Cola or Pepsi.

How this will get you laid: By wearing any of these shirts, you display a tacit knowledge of South Asian culture. South Asian boys/girls will appreciate this and then you proceed from there. Sprinkle the conversation with a reference to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and Arundhati Roy and you'll be down with brown in no time.

[$20, Chor Bazaar]

Poop!

Alex Zalben — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:01:00 GMT

[$22, Seibi]

Ah, poop jokes. Definitely not the height of comedy, and quite possibly the depth. Yet, the mere act of mentioning poop, as seen on the shirt above, is nowhere near as gross as this:

I can't find whether this is an actual product, though I'm kind of guessing/hoping not.

[Via Book of Joe]

More Gifts for the Jaded Indie Rock Aficianado

Shaun Seneviratne — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 16:04:00 GMT

As jaded as your friend who can't put down his Pavement and My Bloody Valentine records is, he/she still needs clothes to wear and, sometimes, a pillow to cuddle (face it, you know they go to bed dreaming about this stuff anyways):

Make sounds with your mouth as you press these plush buttons.

For the shoegaze fan that never learned to play guitar.

[99 EUR (Approx. $126), DaWanda]

[Via CRAFT Magazine]

Vans x Bad Brains Spring 2009 Collection

Give your favorite punk rocker a raincheck this Christmas and wait until these sweet Bad Brains-themed Vans come out in the spring. Vans is also teaming up with Kiss and Slayer, but that's not nearly as cool.

[Vans]

[Via High Snobiety]

The term "experimental music" is thrown around so much. This shirt should help clear things up.

[$20, Glennz Tees]

[Via MAKE Magazine]

Threadless T-Shirts for $5

Diana Vilibert — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 22:17:00 GMT

Threadless is having their annual holiday sale, which means huge discounts on Threadless t-shirts and hoodies. This tasty shirt is just $5. The ones I'm thinking of ordering, after the jump.

[$5 and up, Threadless]

Get 20% Off Funny T-Shirts

Diana Vilibert — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:16:00 GMT

Get 20% off Local Celebrity t-shirt when you enter code hookmeup and get shirts like these:

[$25, T Roundup]

You Can't Afford Not To Have This

Steph Auteri — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:04:00 GMT

Honestly, I can't afford anything these days. Here are some things I'm itching to buy right now, but can't:

a white tutu for a Frosty the Ballerina Snowman costume (don't ask; unless you know where I can get one!)
a bulletin board with built-in bins
one of those prints for my living room wall
a dramatic mirror for the bedroom
an entirely new winter wardrobe
a couple hundred dollars' worth of books
xmas gifts! eek!

I'm not even sure I can afford to be ironic, but if you can, by all means...

Can you afford to heart NY?

[$14.99, HeadHoods]

Shirt Of The Day: Too Soon? Or Not Soon Enough?

Alex Zalben — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Okay gang, I have a shirt for you today, and I need you to tell me... Too soon? Or not soon enough? Check it out:

So, thoughts? I mean, it's only been a few days since the election, so it's not like we're completely done with that meme. But what about The Dark Knight? Are we done with that? And what about putting dear, departed Heath Ledger's face over the word "JOKE?"

Or am I being too sensitive?

[$26, Red Bubble]

[Via Slash Film]

Shirt of the Day: Needs-a-Barbershop Quartet

Alex Zalben — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:34:00 GMT

Yes, I know we already had a "hat of the day," but this demands a separate post:

[$17, Loiter]

Shirt of The Day: Most Expensive Mario Shirt Ever

Alex Zalben — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:24:00 GMT

Sure, this is a cute shirt of an ape sleeping on Mario's head. But you'll never guess how much this cotton, normally printed shirt costs:

[$175, Cliff Edge]

[Via Kotaku]

Shirt of the Day: Mostly Sunny, Slight Chance of Sex

Diana Vilibert — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 13:27:00 GMT

I once drove from Jersey to Brooklyn for what I thought was clearly a booty call, and didn't get laid. I was tempted to mail him a reciept from the gas stop I made. (I'm so classy). Save yourself from the same awful fate by making your intentions clear with this SomeEcards t-shirt from Busted Tees.

[$14.99, Busted Tees]

Shirt of the Day: O-S-C-A-R

Alex Zalben — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:32:00 GMT

We all know the Oscar Meyer song, but who really knows Oscar Meyer? To clear up the confusion, I present this shirt:

[$19, Skreened]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Shirt of the Day: A Taste For Pussy

Alex Zalben — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 21:40:00 GMT

How to properly show off how much you love to eat pussy? How about this shirt:

[$17, NoiseBot]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Shirt of the Day: Bar Trekkin'

Alex Zalben — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 13:02:00 GMT

Mix what you did this weekend, with your favorite television show (nerd!), and you've got our shirt of the day. Here's a closer look:

[$18, Go Ape Shirts]

[Via Slash Film]

Shirt of the Day: Shea Stadium R.I.P.

Alex Zalben — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:02:00 GMT

Want to memorialize the least appreciated stadium of all time? Then pick one of these up:

[$27, Shea Stadium R.I.P.]

[Via Gothamist]

Shirt of the Day: What a Babe!

Alex Zalben — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:01:00 GMT

Hey, everybody likes a nice blue babe, right? Especially Paul Bunyan:

That's one way of eating a lumberjack breakfast.

[$17-$35, Loiter]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Shirt of the Day: Goldie is in Heaven Now

Alex Zalben — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:00:00 GMT

Tim Seeley, creator one of my fave comics (Hack/Slash) has a new shirt out with the above design. But why is Goldie in heaven? Here's why:

Yup, goldfish on the front, toilet in the back. Poor Goldie.

[$19, Sketch86]

Shirt(s) of the Day: Choose or Lose

Alex Zalben — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:05:00 GMT

Want to kick off the election a little early? Then we've got a selection of shirts for all sizes. Above, you can boldly show off your choice (or, just practice voting) with Barrel NY's election T.

[$12, Barrel NY]

But then, you might be wondering, what of the babies? Don't worry, we have you hooked up there, too:

I saw these at a store in Kennett Square, PA this weekend. Wry Baby has a hole line of little election snappy shirts for babies, so you can show off your baby's political affilitiation.

[$12, Wry Baby]

[Shirt Via Swiss Miss]

Shirt of the Day: My Ruined Carpet [NSFW]

Alex Zalben — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:02:00 GMT

Hmm... How to properly tell people just why your carpet looks the way it does... How about a t-shirt:

Yup, that should do it.

[£22, YesNoMaybe]

[Via Warren Ellis]

Shirt of the Day: Rock, Paper, Scissors

Diana Vilibert — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:17:00 GMT

You may say Rock, Paper, Scissors is a thing of the past for you, but let's not pretend you haven't used it as a way to duke it out with your significant other over which movie to see, which restaurant to go to, and which Kama Sutra position to try next.

What, just me?

[$16.95, NoiseBot]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Shirt of the Day: Goodbye, Mr. Tapes

Alex Zalben — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 13:01:00 GMT

Ah, so sad. I can't say I really miss VHS, or audio tapes, but seeing a 5 1/4" floppy puts a little lump in my throat. Here's a closer look at the image, and pricing:

[$16, Busted Tees]

[Via Slash Film]

Shirt of the Day: The Opposite of Hope

Alex Zalben — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:01:00 GMT

What's the opposite of this iconic "Hope" image? Courtesy of MM reader James:

James sez:

"Just caught this. It's based on that iconic HOPE poster, with a nice little twist. Seemed like the kind of thing you guys would like. It's a limited run, produced by a company called Ludwig. For orders, you have to email info@ludwigvantheman.com. Cheers!"

Thanks James!

Why Does This Shirt Cost $12,000?

Diana Vilibert — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 20:32:00 GMT

This shirt costs the equivalent of:

A year of (cheap) rent in NYC
Twelve thousand cheeseburgers from Wendy's (yum)
Up to a decade of car insurance
About eight years of round-trip subway fare in NYC

So why does this polo shirt cost $12,000?

It's freakin' bulletproof: it provides protection from weapons ranging from a 9mm pistol to an Uzi.

[$12,000, Miguel Caballero]

Relaed: The $46,000 Dress Shirt

Shirt of the Day: Get Porked in Your Donut

Alex Zalben — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:35:00 GMT

Here are a few of my favorite things:

1. Bacon.

2. Donuts.

3. Politics.

4. Shirts.

Wish there was some way of having them all together... Oh, there is? You mean this:

I'm not going to lie to you guys... I don't buy most of the things we post on here. I'm going to buy this.

[$24, Zazzle]

[Via Bacon Today]

Shirt of the Day: Ferrous Wheel

Alex Zalben — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 13:59:00 GMT

Have I mentioned I like math and science jokes? Because I do:

[$15, Think Geek]

Shirt of the Day: Chest Drums

Alex Zalben — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 17:40:00 GMT

Yeah, look at those drums! Pretty hawt in that t-shirt, if you ask me. And they really work, too:

[$30, Think Geek]

[Via Geeky Gadgets]

Related: Bang The Air Drums Slowly

Shirt of the Day: Online Predators

Alex Zalben — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 18:01:00 GMT

Beware of online predators! Because they may say they look like the above, but they probably look like this:

[$17-$35, Loiter]

[Via Nerd Approved]

Shirt of the Day: Monday the 16th

Alex Zalben — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:01:00 GMT

We all know what happens on Friday the 13th, but what about when the weekend is over?

Tee-hee. L'il Jason.

[Design by Humans]

[Via Slash Film]

Shirt of the Day: Which Came First?

Alex Zalben — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 13:02:00 GMT

An age old question, finally answered:

[$17, SnorgTees]

[Via Fashionably Geek]

Shirt of the Day: Monster Mash

Alex Zalben — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 13:02:00 GMT

The best type of shirt is a shirt with an inexplicable back-story. Take this, for example:

It implies that not only is there a council of monsters, but that they approve things, in particular, shirts. There's a lot more going on here people, and we need to get to the bottom of it. To the Mystery Machine!

[$12, Archie McPhee]

Shirt of the Day: Check Out Her Boob!

Alex Zalben — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 16:01:00 GMT

Want to see this lady's boob? Here you go:

[$20, Shakespeare's Den]

[Via Fashionably Geek]