The Modern Materialist : Sports

We All [Snowboard On] A Yellow Submarine

Shaun Seneviratne — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:02:00 GMT

[photo via]

Nike Zoom Force 1 DK-YS snowboarding boots.

[Nike Snowboarding]

[Via The Awesomer]

Shirt of the Day: Shea Stadium R.I.P.

Alex Zalben — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:02:00 GMT

Want to memorialize the least appreciated stadium of all time? Then pick one of these up:

[$27, Shea Stadium R.I.P.]

[Via Gothamist]

Snow Bunnies [NSFWish]

Alex Zalben — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 19:02:00 GMT

Burton Snowboards + Playboy Models... Should be a match made in heaven, right? Except one thing:

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're shredding down a snowy mountain on some poor model's face (and naked body), right? That's just wrong.

No pricing, but they should be available at finer stores everywhere in the next month or two. Until now, you can just sled on your old Playboys.

[Burton]

[Via High Snobiety]

Equations: Sports + Jewelery

Alex Zalben — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 21:33:00 GMT

[$25, Elsewares]

[Via TrendHunter]

Basket Case

Alex Zalben — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:34:00 GMT

Hey, check out this fun toy basketball game. Fun, right? Yay! That is, until you see how it's played:

How unhappy does that model look? From Urban Outfitters, purveyors of human misery masked as irony since 1992.

[$10, Urban Outfitters]

[Via Interior Design Room]

The Opposite of Baseball

Alex Zalben — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 12:47:00 GMT

What's the opposite of a Baseball? How about this:

Technically, the opposite would be something you couldn't use for baseball at all, like a super heavy lobster. But this works, too.

[$30, Generate]

Have a Ball This Summer

Alex Zalben — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 17:30:00 GMT

Want to have a ball this summer? Then here's a fool-proof solution to your non-rolly blues:

No price info yet, but what object is money when you'll be dead soon after using this? Here's a video to check out, in the meantime:

Buzzball from Evento on Vimeo.

[Buzzball]

[Via Born Rich]

Related: I Was a Human Hamster

Join The Club

Alex Zalben — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:00:00 GMT

Can you guess what this man is doing? Is it:

A) Playing golf.
B) Keeping his hands cool under a towel.
C) Something totally f-ing gross.

If you said B, then you’re incorrect! In fact, this man is covering his crotch with the towel, so he can urinate into his club while playing golf. Really. So, you know, you don't need to stop golfing to use the bathroom, but instead, carry around a urine filled golf club in the hot sun all day. Gross, guys. Gross.

[$50, UroClub]

[Via Countdown With Keith Olberman]

If I Were a Rich Man…

Alex Zalben — Mon, 19 May 2008 18:30:00 GMT

One day, when I live in a mansion, I will have:

1) A tricked out home theater, in the style of Star Tours.
2) A swimming pool shaped like my initials.
3) A helipad, but no helicopter.
4) A hardcore game room, featuring this sculpted steel billiards table:

Created by Carbon Studios, this billiard table claims to have a modern design, but honestly looks a little more Steampunk, or Torquemada. Which is a-okay by me. Each table is custom made, and can be accessorized with designed lighting, or cue racks.

The No. 6 Sculpted Steel Billiards Table, pictured above, can be yours for only:

[$27000, Carbon Studios]

[Via Uncrate]

Tiny Ice Cube Curling Set

Alex Zalben — Mon, 19 May 2008 15:30:00 GMT

There are some sports that I:

A) Have no idea how to play.
B) Find endlessly fascinating.

Curling is one of those sports… Clearly, it’s an important sport if it’s in the Olympics, but I can’t see how a slightly advanced form of shuffleboard can possibly be a world-wide sport of champions. And yet, despite my posting on some blog about it, people keep playing curling. Weird, right?

Point is, I can totally get behind this tiny, ice cube version of curling, if only for the teeny little brushes that come with the set. The ice cube tray comes with tiny brushes, as mentioned, as well as tiny handles, and a tiny glass tray to play on. The ones pictured above are colored, but unless something is terrifyingly wrong with your water, you’ll probably need to use food coloring to set that up.

The curling set isn’t available yet, but when it is, you can get it for about twenty bucks. And that’s cheaper than buying a ticket for the Olympics.

[£10, Volume Load]

[Via Craziest Gadgets]

Koreannovation 2008: Intro + Mega-Quake-Prime + Video!

Alex Zalben — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:30:00 GMT

Yesterday, I had a chance to tour the floor of Koreannovation, the 2008 Korea Trade Show here in NYC, with a steadily increasing entourage of people. Seriously. It seems I hit in a little bit of a lull point, and by the time I left, there were four or five managers all hanging out, getting acupuncture, and snacking on Korean ice cream

But Koreannovation isn’t all about fun and games, it’s also about the products, including:

- A dry erase board that glows with neon colors, pictured above.

- A toaster for heating up your pets.

- Cloths that soften your skin, lighten its color, and turned out to be made from human placentas.

Needless to say, I had a fabulous time. I can’t wait to tell you all about it. To that end, I’ve put together a little video for you guys below. Sorry about some of the, um, close-ups, but I didn’t have control of my camera. Also, in case it isn’t clear, the thing in the video is shaking me like a mofo:

All back? Cool. So just in case it wasn’t clear, the Mega Quake-Prime is an exercise machine created by J International CityM Korea, and exercises you while you stand there and get shaken to bits. To bits I say!

This, like a lot of the other products at the fair, was not actually for sale, so they were unwilling to give me a price estimate. So I’m going to say, $5? Sure.

[Jtrade]

Inflatable Iceberg Keeps Things Cool

Alex Zalben — Fri, 09 May 2008 15:00:00 GMT

So most of us don’t have a swimming pool. I mean, maybe some of you do, but I live in an apartment in NYC, so if I got a pool installed, I think my downstairs neighbors would kill me. However, if we did all have pools, I bet we’d also like to have this 14’ tall inflatable iceberg/climbing wall.

You can climb up one of the three climbable sides, slide down the slidable side, and the whole thing is made from durable PVC. Which is really fun and cool (pun intended), until you find out how much it costs:

[$6475, Amazon]

[Via Uncrate]

They’re Magnetic, Dumbbells

Alex Zalben — Thu, 01 May 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Now, I don’t really work out all that much. Granted, I’m just naturally completely jacked from sitting front of the computer and drinking coffee all day, but I understand some of you weaklings need to get your gym on.

Even more of you plebes probably like to buy gym equipment, and then just let it sit around the house, gathering dust. So if that’s the case, rather than buying something ugly looking, why not buy Menu’s magnetic dumbbells? At least when you just leave ‘em around on the mantelpiece, they’ll look like they belong there.

Each weighs one kilo, and, as mentioned, magnetically stick together when not being used.

[£100, Panik]

[Via Dvice]

I Was A Human Hamster

Alex Zalben — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:30:00 GMT

There are certain things I’m completely freaked out about. One of them is heights. The other is bugs. The third one is probably being strapped in a giant inflatable ball and rolled down a hill.

Granted, the last one is a lesser fear, but that fear could soon become a reality with the Rolerball, which has already been described above. Basically, after inflating the ball, up to two people can be strapped inside, and then a third person just rolls you down a hill. That’s it. The kit comes with everything you need, including a puncture repair kit, and a list of near-by hospitals. Kidding about the last thing, but you might want to have it handy, anyway.

Oh, and yes, you can roll in it like a human hamster ball. Here's the video proof:

[£999, iWantOneofThose.com]

[Via Toyology]

You Got to Know When to Fold 'Em

Wendy Atterberry — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 19:30:00 GMT

If you're a loyal reader of MM, then you know I've recently moved to New York from Chicago and you also know that I had my things sent to me from storage in the last month or so. Among the things I was really happy to see after five months apart was my trusty bike. Man, I love my bike. I just bought it about a year ago, but I put some serious miles on that thing before I moved. In Chicago it's so easy to get around on a bike — from April to November, that is — so I rode mine everywhere. Not only was it economical, but it was awesome exercise and it lifted my 30-year-old butt about 3 inches higher.

So, you might expect that I was really looking forward to getting back on my bike now that the weather is nice in New York. I knew it wouldn't be the same as riding around in Chicago, but I'm just a few blocks from Central Park and a few blocks from the river, so I was excited about the biking I'd do there. But then the awful happened: I realized that my stairs are too steep and my bike is too heavy and big to carry from my apartment down to the street. Without any storage at all or any safe place to lock it up, there's really no practical way I can ride my bike. After my day of heartbreak, I've started thinking of other options: I could just ride my bike 24-hours a day and never carry back up the stairs, I could pay 30 bucks a day to store it in a garage 2 miles away, or I could look for a folding bike. The latter seems the most practical solution, so I've started my search. So far, the Dahon Espresso is my favorite. Looking at it in the photo above, you'd never guess it could fold up like this:

But it can! And you guys, I could totally carry that up and down my stairs. Plus, it folds up in five seconds!! But I'm a little sceptical. Has anyone tested a folding bike before? Do they really fold up easily? And how to they compare to a traditional bike?

[$420, BikeFold]

Bonzai Skimboard Surfer Essentially Is Slip n’ Slide

Alex Zalben — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Okay, so here’s my million-dollar idea: Crocodile Aisle. You see, it’s LIKE Crocodile Mile, but specifically targeted at couples on their wedding day. Here, I even have a song for it:

You run
You slide
You hit the bump, and take a briiiiide!

Million-dollar idea, I’m telling you.

The Bonzai Skimboard Surfer is NOT a million dollar idea, but it ain’t half bad, either. Essentially a super large, long Slip n’ Slide, the Bonzai is 26’ long, so you have plenty of skimboarding room. And speaking of which, it comes with it’s own skimboard, which is pretty neat. AND, it has a sprinkler built in.

Okay, fine, it’s a million-dollar idea.

[$50, Walmart]

[Via OhGizmo!]

Give Your Man a Mini Hummer

Alex Zalben — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:30:00 GMT

I mean, think about it: when’s the last time you gave your S.O. a Hummer, right? Probably at the beginning of your relationship, you guys were all Hummer crazy. Every night, you gave your guy a Hummer, and he was all like, “I love Hummers! Give me more Hummers!” And you were all like, “I don’t know if I can, my mouth is sore… From talking to the car dealership every day to buy you cars!”

Psyche! You thought I was talking about something dirty, when I was ACTUALLY talking about the car, the Hummer. I totally tricked you suckers. Also, I made an incredibly original pun that no-one has ever made before. Ever.

In any event, on the off chance that you A) don’t want a gas guzzling Hummer, and B) don’t have the space for a giant car, and C) play golf, you may want to check out the Mini Hummer from Harrods. It’s shaped, of course, like a Hummer H3, but is actually the size of a golf cart. It also moves at the pace of a golf cart, hitting a maximum speed of 30mph. There’s also an option to set the max speed to anywhere between 0 and 30mph, in case you have children, and don’t want them playing high speed Hummer bumper cars.

You can get it in red, black, white, grey, or yellow, and if color options don’t convince you, how about this: get a Mini Hummer, and you’ll be driving the same tiny car as Harry Potter’s eternally mugging Rupert Grint*!

[£1,400, Harrods]

*Really? He owns one? He has GOT to get his priorities straight.

This Weekend At The MMovies: Leatherheads, Nim’s Island, and The Ruins

Alex Zalben — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:30:00 GMT

You guys all like movies, right? And I gather if you're here on this blog, you like material goods and services as well? Okay, cool. How about we combine the two by taking a look at what's coming out in the Cinemaplex this weekend, and coming up with a complimentary thing to purchase?

Granted, this is a rather light week to start things off on, but we'll persevere together.

Leatherheads: George Clooney. John Krasinski. Olde Timey Football. What more could you want? How about your very own leather football helmet to wear on opening night? You can pick up an actual helmet worn at Princeton sometimes during 1900-1920 on eBay, though it might cost you more than two bits.

[$2500, eBay]

Nim’s Island: Jodie Foster and Little Miss Sunshine get shipwrecked on a magical island where animals talk or something… I dunknow, I couldn’t make it through the entire trailer without dying of a saccharine overdose. To do a little word association though, Nim’s make me think of Pim’s, which are my favorite cookies of all time, specifically the pear variety. They’re NOT too sweet, though they do have quite a bit of it in them. And if I was shipwrecked on a magical island, there’s no other cookie I’d want to eat. Sadly, the pear variety doesn’t seem to exist anymore, but the Orange Pim’s do, and they’re still pretty good.

[$7, Chocolate Galley]

The Ruins: Hey, did you know that The Ruins was about killer vines that crawl under your skin? Pretty awful, right? They do a good job of hiding it from you in the trailer, but given my extreme fear of tiny things that creep, I don’t think I’ll be catching this flick. If you want to take the best aspect of it, let’s focus on the fact that they come upon some ancient civilization stuff, and I’ll recommend the Buried Treasure Mayan Dig. I used to love getting archaeological stuff at the museum shop when I was a kid, and if it meant I had to spend hours chipping away at stone, all the better. FYI, I was a lonely child.

[$28, eCrater]

Star Wars Golf Bags

Alex Zalben — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:00:00 GMT

I can’t imagine this golf bag will make you the hit of the course, but then… I don’t play golf.

[$500, StarWars.com]

[Via Dvice]

Skateboard Mirror, For Cool/Vain Kids/Adults

Alex Zalben — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:30:00 GMT

“Hey kid, can you see yourself in a brand new skateboard? No, really, it’s a mirror, can you see yourself in it?”

As much as I like this skateboard mirror for Kewl Kidz who like being Kewl, it would be that much Kewler™ if you could also use it as a skateboard. Impractical, I know, but imagine the whoops and cheers you’d get when you fly through the air, and your skateboarding buddies can see their faces on the bottom of your board.

In this scenario, you are jumping over your friends in an attempt to break the World’s Record. FYI.

[$220, Purves]

[Via OhGizmo!]

Cheap Trick: Badminton Set

Wendy Atterberry — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Dudes, It's totally almost warm enough to start playing badminton outside again. You do have a badminton set, don't you? You don't? Well, how do you plan to practice for the big 2008 Boston Open?? Lucky for you, I found a set for 8 bucks. You'll have to find your own uniform, though.

[$7.99, Target]

Product Porn: Alter G Anti-Gravity Treadmill

Alex Zalben — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Far be it from me to even remotely understand what's going on in this video. Some sort of wind... rays... push on you as you run, creating a feeling of effortless weightlessness, and allowing you to break world's records left and right*. The device is mainly for medical use, but you can go to the official website and put in application to own as an individual:

*Though, sadly, not allowing me to break the only record that matters: Most Bicycles Eaten.

[Via TechEBlog]

Friday Night Links: AquaFit 19DT & More

Alex Zalben — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Here's your topic for discussion this weekend:

Brewster's $348
You are given $348, and have to spend as close to that amount as possible on one purchase. You can't go over, and it must be on only one item. What do you buy?

Okay, onto the links:

- Diary Shower Curtain: For when you remember your to-dos while while cleaning your business [$25, Firebox]

- Dry Erase Paint: Now you can have a white board ANYWHERE. [$127, Dry Erase Magic]

- Perfect Tear Paper Towel Holder: The easy solution for the stupidest problem in the world. [$20, Amazon]

- Kaleidescape Video Servers: These babies aren't out yet, but when they are, they'll rip directly to Blu-Ray. [Via Gizmodo]

- AquaFit 19DT: (Pictured) Totally work out while you soak, which actually sounds awesome. [$40,000, AquaFit Systems]

[Via UberReview, Lifehacker, Cool Tools, Dvice]

Google Gauntlets

Alex Zalben — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:30:00 GMT

What can I say, I’m a sucker for anything titled “Gauntlet.” This design concept by Du Tran Nguyen, as part of the Australian Design Awards, is… Well, let’s Nguyen describe it:

The Vie (pronounced vee, French word for life) is a sports glove, of which the main objective is to incorporate today’s technologies to enhance human performance and safety via a simple human-machine-interface. The Vie is aimed towards those who keep active by running/walking but its features can easily be spread to other sports. The Vie is a typical health monitor that also uses GPS technology to do such things as map jog routes, rendezvous with friends, send out emergency distress beacons and more. To keep the sport natural, the input is made via a unique, single hand control interface.

Really? Because personally, I’d call it the Power Glove. Because it’s so… Bad*.

Seriously though, while I generally like the idea of having Google Maps pop up on the back of my hand, I’m not sure people are going to start wearing gauntlets again. And by again, I mean, “since the Middle Ages.” What do you guys think? If you could melt an iPod Touch and wrap it around your digits, would you?

[Via Electric Pig]

*See video below, and continue to wonder how that girl knew what a Warp Whistle was: